waking up early feeling like screaming

Thank you very much for looking at my post and offering help. I am at the point where I cannot lead a normal life anymore which makes me feel like I am trapped with no way out. Any suggestions will be highly appreciated.

Sex: F Age: 39 Nature of work: IT Manager (My problems were there no matter what kind of work I did) Habits: Former smoker, does not drink much – alcohol tastes bad, does not bring much relaxation, full body and mind feel awful afterwards

Describe your main suffering and from how long? Main suffering as described in earlier post and probably started about 25 years ago
Exact location? Vertically and horizontally middle of the chest and situated deep inside. Feels like a ball of emotions that comes on like a wave and settles in the chest and gets stronger to the point where I feel like screaming... almost like someone who is tense (or enraged) to a point of not being able to take it anymore. Need to get body and mind occupied for it to go away. When it goes away, the severe drowsiness sets where I cannot think, walk or do much of anything… like a person who hasn’t slept for days. When the ball of emotions comes over me it is always accompanied with extremely strong palpitations in the chest. The palpitations are not faster but rather very strong where the whole chest will pulsate with audible strikes of the pulse. My mind will be very clear and sharp when I am experiencing that.

Any cause which you feel for this ailment? Always at rest and after sleep never otherwise.
What other physical sufferings do you have in your body? – knee and hip joints get stiff and locked in if I stay in one position for long but will improve with motion. Chest and head night sweats, sometimes quite severe. Grinding teeth at night. Low blood pressure.
What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings? – feel like I am a walking zombie – too drowsy during the day, cannot rest at night because that causes my symptoms to appear.
When did it all start? First appeared when I begun high stress school and gained weight and started dieting around 16 yrs old.
What are the things which aggravate or ameliorate your suffering? Aggravate – sleep or rest. Ameliorate – if I go for a run when it happens then it will subside.
When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather? I only noticed that before thunderstorms I get depressed, and hot weather weakens me greatly and I cannot function. I think I like when it rains because it gets so calm and I can relax.
What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions? – love cakes & breads but nothing too sweet. Don’t like sweets much – feel like even little bit gives me sugar rush. Pasta and highly processed wheat bread makes me jittery and like I had some stimulants. Generally starchy foods do not sit well with me. I feel best after a huge chunk of meat with salad for dinner. Even my sleep gets better. I don’t have food aversions.
How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive? I have dislike for water and drink very little liquids in general.
How if your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive? Between normal and excessive – it fluctuates.
How is your bowel movement and stool type (Constipation etc.)? Constipated
How sleep, how are your dreams? First stage of sleep almost comatose like, the other half feels like the ball is building up which eventually wakes me up. Sleep very unrefreshing. Dreams usually very trivial and unemotional just some daily things passing through. Most often I don’t remember them.
Do you have any strange, peculiar or unusual symptom or feelings? – afraid of the dark, ghosts, losing my mind, love adrenaline rush, I talk a lot, do not like to own things (make me feel tied down) and dislike material things in general, my ideal life would be lots of backpack traveling and philosophizing a lot. I have hard time fitting in among people who talk about mundane things.
What medicines have been taken earlier? Some psychotropic drugs 20 years ago for a year that did not do a thing. Homeopathic – Lachesis for the waking up which did wonders for a month but stopped working all together. I tried different potencies with no reaction. Phosphorus was not as great but still worked for a month. I tried Staphisagria, Zincum – no reaction. Calcium carb and sulful - strong aggrevations no improvements.
How do you look like (Appearance (fat, thin, smart, tall, lean etc)? 5’10”, blond/blue eyes, blond eyelashes/eyebrows, broad face with strong cheekbones and lower jaw. Delicate face features otherwise. Thin hair. I project a proud and elegant look. I have a broad bone structure with very broad shoulders and wide hips although I keep my self thin with watching what I eat. My bones protrude. I look very strong but actually I am quite week. Gain weight easily but it is impossible to lose any.

If your are female how is your menstrual cycles and from how long (normal, irregular, painful, clotted, colour etc.) - regular with 2-3 days of heavy flow with clotted dark blood. Painful only at the first day of menstruation. Recently a cyst was discovered in right breast.
Family history - What major diseases are running in your family? – no major diseases although i have a big family. Sister gets colds often and mother had gallbladder stones removed. Sister and mother hypochondriac tendencies whereas I always ignore my health problems. Father some nervous disorders like anxiety/depression.
Any other information?
I have been sick with pneumonia at 6 yrs, have penicillin allergy, had internal bleeding apparently due to a fissure in ovary during ovulation for which I was hospitalized and given 1 liter of blood because of horrible anemia caused by bleeding at 18 yrs. Had nose bleeds for a week from staying in the sun too much when 7 yrs old.
I flip between being very strong, haughty and fearless and being weak and shaky and afraid of everything and everybody.

regards,
Bea

Dr. Mahfooz,
I looked through other posts and I thought that few more things about me could be helpful in diagnosis:

-dislike for cold drinks/food
-when in school it was impossible for me to study in the morning or day (felt quite stupid) - only could concentrate at night
-i've been told to be fearless with sports and adventures
-as a kid I was extremely stressed because i was convinced to be an alien and was horrified to go to a doctor in fear of being discovered
-belly muscles twitch after sex
-easily excitable
-time passes too fast- sometimes i will do nothing the whole day because i feel there is not enough time for anything
-hate being consoled
-do not tolerate being told what to do
-extremely independent
-love being massaged and touched all the time
-love to argue intellectually but not emotionally
-noise/light/smell disturb greatly
-i sweat profusely during the day under my arms with horribly smelling sweat, head too but to a lesser degree

Thank you again for looking at my post.

Regards,
Bea

Thank you all for helping out! I am so hopeful that maybe i will be able to nail it down with your help.

Actually i tried the proposed homeopathics already since they seem like strong possibilities. I did tried them about 3 years back but if you think it there is a strong indication for those i can try again.
Reaction i had:
Ignatia - only 1 day calming reaction with repeated dose there was no reaction - tried 30c and 200c with same result
Nat Mur/Pulsatilla - no reaction

One thing that maybe I should add is that many people see me as having (as they describe) masculine traits. I am superb in crisis and keep my cool like no one else - the stress will only hit days or weeks after. I am matter of fact person who will not be taken by emotion easily... but maybe I am suppressing them so well and that's why they come out in the morning?
I do have some of phosphorus characteristics of sensing things around and if i go to a museum or old building i have a very strong feeling that i feel the energy of people who passed. I even would get confused in terms of not knowing if i am in the present or back then... that upsets me but it only happens when i am around old buildings/things.
I do fit more among men and i would talk to men more at the parties but although i am 'masculine' inside, i am very feminine on the outside.
When people get emotional it irritates me - somehow i cannot relate. Even when i get emotional i have a total control of my emotions and totally clear mind.

Hopefully that helps a bit.

Regards,
Bea

thank you all for the reply again. I am willing to take all that you propose.
i can start with Pulstatilla to see where it will lead to.

Will let you know of the results.
For Ignatia - what potency and frequency would be best?

Thank you very much for your help - i will report on results.