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sadgirl has no sex in married life

dear dr mahfooz. i have been married for many years now. my husband has zero sexual desire. many many years passed by with no physical contact. earlier i had blocked all my feelings off and managed to ignore this but last few years i am extremey sad about it. i feel sad and lonely. my personality has also changed. i am irritable and depressed. before i was always happy and energetic and outgoing. now i dont want to meet anyone. feel tired and low all the time. is there something that can improve my situation?
 
  sadgirl on 2008-07-30
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Dear sadgirl,why you are not consulting with any doctor near to you for the treatment of your husband.I think when your husband will be active for sexual intimacy your problem will be solved.Please dont think over the matter and keep yourself happy at all the times.Wishes you best of luck in the day to come.Malaker
 
Dr.Haran ch malaker last decade
sadgirl,

if your husband seems concerned about his problem, you both should discuss this issue and let him write all his symptoms here for treatment.

or, both go and see a physician.

on the other hand, if he is not concerned about his problem and ignores you in the bed, its a matter of great concern for you and you should keep an eye on him to check if he is having another partner.

in that case, you both may have to see a lawyer !!
 
rishimba last decade
my husband does not care. he has no desire for sex. nor does he want to take any medicine or go see a doctor. he is happy. only i suffer. for many years i managed to ignore the issue but now i feel very sad and lonely. in my family divorce is out of the question. he knows that. so he is not pushed. he knows i can never leave him. so i remain depressed since the last few years and now my spine is getting severly degenerated. all my discs are getting thin and some are pressing on nerves. i cannot stand for more than a few minutes. my nerves are pinched and i have shooting pain down my leg. allopathic doctors are recommending surgeory. dont know what to do??? just feel so sad....
 
sadgirl last decade
no rishimba. he is not having an affair. he is just not interested. when we go abroad i try to interest him in magazines or movies or sex shops and he says no. i was 17 when we got married. i have been married for 15 years. 10 years i ignored. but now i am 33! my life is passing by. i have no children. i have an empty life. he is a good and decent man but he has no need for sex or even affection. he never wants to hold hands or hug or kiss.
 
sadgirl last decade
rishimba, also wanted to tell you he is not gay. he is not outgoing. he has very few friends. even with them he makes no effort to keep up. he is either at office or home. he has no desire to communicate even. he hardly ever talks. all the time reading accounting books. he is very dry. but he is happy like that. it is i who suffer. so please try and help me. i used to be an extremely fun loving and energetic and happy person. over the last few years i have become the opposite. and now its caused this serious damage to my health. is there any hope for me?
 
sadgirl last decade
do you need remedy for your physical problems or your husband's abnormality?
 
rishimba last decade
remedies like AGNUS CASTUS or LYCOPODIUM may produce a reaction in him.

for you the indicated remedies are HYPERICUM PERFORATUM and CONIUM MAC.

give these remedies to your husbands one after the other in higher( 200c, 1M ) potencies while you can try your remedies one after the other in 30c potencies.
 
rishimba last decade
dear sadgirl,
Sorry I could not attend you earlier but it is a great honour for me that my friend dr.rishimba has attend you in a very good manner. Now there are two points which needs attention which dr. rishimba discussed and advised the medicines. The third option for you is to contact the parents of your husband and ask them to help you out. Or discuss it with your own parents this tragic condition.
The best solution among three above is the consulance with parants. Please try this without any further wastage of time.
However, I do agree with dr.rishimba advice.

dr.mahfooz
 
Mahfoozurrehman last decade
dear dr mahfooz, i am very touched for the advise and concern you and rishimba have shown me.
unfortunately both our parents have passed away in the last few years. i was extremely close to his mother who was an angelic woman. i am sure had a confided in her she would have made sure matters improved between us.
i am left with 3 very strict very conservative older brothers who will never accept divorce. they dont even want to hear such problems. they think it unnecessary. they say my husband is a decent man. he does not drink or smoke, not after women, no gambling, hard working, earns good money and treats me politely. why do i want to leave him? they refuse to talk to him.
and there is no point talking to his brothers. as my husband hardly has any relationship with them.
you see, its the no hope at the end of the tunnel that is so frustrating. i see him happy going to work, coming home, eating, reading, very satisfied.
it is i who is wasting away in this empty life. without any companionship.... without any touch....
 
sadgirl last decade
got carried away with my situation.

wanted to ask what did you mean by one after the other? same day? same time? how much? how often and for how long? please specify.

is this medicine for all the discs in my lumber spine that have become very thin and out of place. they are also pinching on my nerves which gives me pain down my left bottom. i cannot stand more than 5 minutes. MRI shows spinal canal narrowing. and full spine degeneration.

is this medicine also for my depression?

thank you for all your help.
 
sadgirl last decade
hypericum will reduce the pain in the nerves.

generally this condition of yours is not treatable through remedies. surgery is the only option.

take it in 30c potencies twice a day for a week or so.. provide feed back.

now regarding your husband, if you could tell me all his general symptoms and nature, probably a remedy could be suggested.

if lycopodium matches his generals, this would be probably the best remedy for him in this condition.
 
rishimba last decade
my husband is not interested in taking medicine. he says he is happy the way he is.

i know 2 people who got spine surgeory done. one girl's spine got moved and now she cant walk. the second got surdeory done but is not a whole lot better. after surgeory she went through hell because she got a very bad infection. i am really scared and would really prefer homeopathic remedy.

also the fact that i have a rapid degerating spine. so as my disc collapse i will need more and more surgeories. it is not only what is wrong now but what all is going to go wrong.

is there no medicine that can stop spine degeneration?? repair discs?? relieve the nerves??
 
sadgirl last decade
remedies can easily be added in husband water/bed side etc while hes not around.
is there a need to charge emotions through remedies like Acid Phos.
 
hisam last decade
Dear lady,

In my opinion you require good communication with your husband, talk to him, tell him you understand and love him no matter what, try to make him speak on this subject. If He opens up he will tell you the exact problem.

Also, no husband who loves his wife will ever want his wife to live such a life. If he really loves you he will open up and then you can guide him to the forum or give him the remedies mentioned above.

However. If he is not interested in helping you, you should take a divorce, you only live once, you need a loving and caring husband who wants to satisfy you.

Best Of luck. I will pray for you.
 
gumby last decade
sadgirl,

please go for constitutional treatment for yourself and see if it covers degeneration of the spine..

there are remedies like phosphor and calcaria family which can help you in this situation..
 
rishimba last decade
dearest rishimba,

i will be grateful if you could help me with a constitutional remedy. also happy to answer any questions.

many thanks,

sadgirl.
 
sadgirl last decade
Patient ID: Sex: Age:

Please answer the following questions in a descriptive manner after careful analysis and recollection of previous experiences and happenings.

1. Describe your main suffering?


2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?


3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?


4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst?


5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?


6. Which time of the day you are worst?

7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same?


8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?


9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?


10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.

- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?
- Do you like being consoled during your tough times?
- Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?
- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
weeping, talking to one self etc?
- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?

11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?


12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?


13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?

14. How if your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?

15. Is there any kind of food which your body can’t stand?

16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?

17. How is your bowel movement and stool type?

18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?


19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?

20. What peculiar or strange sensation do you have in any part of your body at times? Do you sometimes feel ‘ as if…..’ in some part of the body?


21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?


22. What major diseases are running in your family?


23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance.

24. (ONLY FOR FEMALES)

If you are not having normal menstrual cycles, please answer the following questions:

- Are the periods early, regular or late in general? How long do they last?
- Do you suffer from any kind of physical or mental discomfort before, during or after the periods?
- Is the flow scanty, normal or excessive?
- Is the blood thick bright red or pale watery?
- Do you notice any clots in the flow?
 
rishimba last decade
Sad girl,its really painful to read your history.I know one he is expert in treating diseases like your husband.You can contact him over email.Palmhot at acasa.ro.Thanks,malaker
 
Dr.Haran ch malaker last decade
1. female. 33 years.

2. i was a very happy very energetic very positve person till 5 years ago. then i realized i dont want to be in a marriage with no affection and no sex. so i told my husband who was very unsympatheic and told my family who was even more unsympathetic. slowly i slipped into depression. now i am just the opposite. i have no energy. i am extremely negative. and i am very unhappy. actually i dont even know who this person is. i dont like me. i dont like this negative person i have become.

i use to love to talk now i find talking a big effort.

i loved my husband very much and when could die for him. but when i begged him to make an effort for me and he did nothing i became very very sad. i think that must have altered my brain chemicals and changed my personality.

i never got angry or irritated. now i am alaways irritated and get angry quickly too.

please help me get my old self again.

2. at 15 i had kidney stones which i got removed through surgeory. at 19 i had gall bladder stones which i got removed through surgeory.
i have had very bad dandruff last ten years. i am flat footed. i am very tall 5' 9'. i have fought with weight and have been a yo yo dieter all my life. i think i have an emotional dependancy on food and resort to eating as a 'quick fix'. also i am deeply religious and feel that food offers me a
'sin free' comfort. 2-3 times in my life i have also got very tiny white bubbles on my fingers that if i burst have sticky water. after that the st
kin becomes very dry and wrinkled and red. than clears away in a few weeks.

3. i have lived in total mental anguish the last 5 years. i have tortured myself over my husband's negligence every minute. i think i was a little obsessed with my husband. and i never came to terms with the fact that he never loved me.

a very important point to mention here is that i am not so unhappy that we have no sex but i am extremely tortured that he does not care. had he taken medicine made efforts and failed i would be happy. but not to care atall while i cry was too much to deal with emotionally and mentally.

4. when i am worst i feel unloved. lonely. physically isolated. self pity. angry with him.

5. my father and mother in law were 2 people i loved dearly and was very close to. both passed away after alot of sickness 6 years ago. i felt totally traumatized. i have really not recovered from that loss. then a year later when i talked to my husband and he was most uncaring i was devastated.

6. dont know which time is worse. sorry.

7. seeing my husband aggrevates my angry. when i am with my close friends who love me i feel better.

8. suffering of anguish and frustration and anger is related to ecternal stimulus like my husband. not to internal factors.

9. i feel much much better in cold and cloudy weather. i hate the heat. i simply hate being under the sun. i feel energetic and happy in cold cloudy weather. i feel lethargic and down in hot weather.

humidity drains me. i prefer dry but ofcourse not too dry.

10. i was fun loving, energetic, talkative, social, happy outgoing person. now i am the opposite. so i dont know which temperament is me.

11. fears? i had a fear of someone living under my bed and if my hand or foot went out even slightly i would panic. i felt that someone would catch me. but over the years its become much better. last 5 years its completely gone. i have a fear of the dark. but i think i got it because when i was little my 3 older brothers use to scare me of the dark.

i dont have any repititive dreams. but i dream of alot of activity. so its not very restful. rarely i will have a dreamless night. i get up refreshed.

12. crave spicy food. love chillies. love meats.
i like desert but not too sweet. and never crave sweets. averse to bland and insipid food.

13. very thirsty all the time. drink lots of water. i think thats why i have very fair glowing skin.

14. i am ALWAYS hungry. if i have eaten and my friends pick me up for a meal i will eat again.

15. cant think of a particular food my body cant stand. sorry.

16. yes i sweat alot in my whole head and body. i sweat most on my face and palms. also at joints. like front of elbows and back of knees.

imporatnt point is that my soles and palms are always hot. they give out heat. my head also. and even though i have long hair i always have them up in a pony because i feel very hot when i leave them open. and mentioning hair, last ten years my hair has become half. i lose hair evertime i comb it. and tons when i take a bath.

17. bowels are fine. get constipated when dieting though.

18. i sleep on my sides. i turn often. i raise one knee.

19.i dont understand satisfy general sexual desire. i never been with anyone before or after my husband. i really dislike masturbation because it makes me feel very sad and lonely.

20.
 
sadgirl last decade
i was afraid i might lose the answers so i sent them. now i will complete.

20. cant think of any strange sensation.

21. i have not taken any homeopathic medicine for this mental anguish. but i do take some arsenic alba for food poisoing. some aconite when i feel the start of a flu.

however when i found out about my spine i went to a homeo doctor here who gave me,
single doze rhus tox
after 2 days
single doze sulphur
after 5 days and for 5 days
ledum 30 morning staphysgaria 30 night.
i was not any better.
then he gave for a week
thuja 30 morning silicea 6 at night. i was not better but there was some extra sensation. he then said
silicea 30 morning thuja 30 at night for one week.
i was not better. he said take single doze of silicea 200 and report after one week. meanwhile i read that ginseng q and acid pic 3x thrice a day for a week can help. so i just finished that. sadly i am not better.

22. my dad had kidney tone surgeory in his twenties. kidney failure at 40. two failed transplants. dialysis. open heart thriple bypass. gall bladder removed because of stones. high blood pressure. secondary diabeties. but he was the most amazing the most positive the most happy man one can know. he passed away at 58.

my mom only has high blood pressure.

23. we are pathan family. we are all very tall, very fair, very broad. everyone in my family is jovial and hates confrontation and unpleasantries. they ALL LOVE FOOD. all great cooks. they never fight. i think they all comfort themselves with food when they are upset. i think i picked this up from them. they are all overweight. love to eat out too. love to talk about food.

like them i have long legs and put on weight on my upper half and tummy.

when i lose weight i get alot of attention. once a famous movie star was after me for one year. but i ran.

when i put on weight. i feel very low. i feel fat and ugly. i feel like i have lost.

24. my period is very irregular. sometimes it does not come for 3-4 months. 2 months is normal. when it comes it is light for 2-3 days then extremely heavy and clotty and bright red for 4 days then 3-4 days it is light then goes away. i have no mental or physical discomfort. i do feel sexy during and right before my period.

25.i would like to add that i also feel tired in my shoulders and feel extremely weak in my upper arms.

i can be moody.

i feel very sorry for poor people. i give alot of charity. i cry in sad movies. i cry if i hear sad stories. i want the world to be a very happy place. i hate injustice and hate unfairness.

i love and fear my Creator. and constantly seek His approval and forgiveness.
 
sadgirl last decade
i am truly touched by all the sympathy that has been shown to me by rishimba, dr mahfooz, hisam, gumby, dr malakar.

i have received more sympathy from this forum than i have received from my husband and my own family.

it brings tears to my eyes to think that people who have never met me have so much to give me. and most precious of all their prayers. it is their prayers mixed with their remedies that will work a miracle in my life. i am sure of that.

i thank them from my heart.
 
sadgirl last decade
also wanted to add that when i am very sad i can just lie listless in my bed and stare out the window the entire day. day after day. feel pain and heaviness in my heart. and a tear rolls down every now and then.


also since a long time i feel a slight pain in my bones sometimes. arms or legs mostly.

my skin is extremely sensitive. if i scratch myself hard i start to bleed. skin all over my body is clear and good but is dotty in my arms.

i am careless and forgetful.

i sweat alot but my sweat does not smell bad.

i love cold water and am averse to room temperature water.

like my dad i love poetry, music, and beautiful things.
 
sadgirl last decade
your constitutional remedy seems to be NAT MUR and thus a single dose set of NAT MUR 200C ( three doses on a single day at 6 hours gap )
would bring overall relief in all your symptoms.

repetition of dose will be only if the symptoms return.

for reducing pain in the back and legs, during acute times, you can take HYPERICUM PERFORATUM 12c every 2 hours ( 3 doses max.)

please report after 15 days.
 
rishimba last decade
dearest rishimba,

is it not past midnight in india? you are so dedicated! helping God's creatures aroung the globe.....

God bless you!
 
sadgirl last decade
dearest rishimba, would it be totally inappropriate to ask you your gender, age and marital status?
 
sadgirl last decade

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Information given in this forum is given by way of exchange of views only, and those views are not necessarily those of ABC Homeopathy. It is not to be treated as a medical diagnosis or prescription, and should not be used as a substitute for a consultation with a qualified homeopath or physician. It is possible that advice given here may be dangerous, and you should make your own checks that it is safe. If symptoms persist, seek professional medical attention. Bear in mind that even minor symptoms can be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, and a timely diagnosis by your doctor could save your life.