Depression, anxiety & anger

I grew up in a very dysfunctional family - parents fought alot - screaming, breaking things in house - & some physical fighting. Both parents were alcoholics. Ever since I can remember I have lived with the question, what is wrong with me'. I believe I have stuggled with depression/anxiety ever since childhood. Never felt like I fit it with my family or friends at school etc. Carried this with into adulthood - did alot of therapy, group therapy, reading, soul-searching, journaling. It is much better now - but sadness, anxiety still underlying. When I am feeling sad, I become withdrawn, don't want to be around anyone, dont want to do anything - have difficulty motivating myself. If I get to work I usually do much better. Or if I force myself to go outside & walk dog I feel better. I would say my general temperament is cheerful however I am more irritable at home with my husband & children. When I get angry there is no build-up of anger. I go from zero to 60 in 2 seconds. My biggest fear is hurting someone - (I am registered nurse) so I could cause great harm by giving wrong medication, getting into car accident with someone else's child in my car - and how would I live with myself? My anxiety presents itself like everything is an emergency - I have to hurry hurrry. Become overwhelmed when trying to do more than one thing at a time - have difficulty concentrating - cannot have any distractions when reading - need absolute silence. When I am feeling sad my cravings for sweets/carbs goes up - I like chocolate candy & cookies, any kind of dessert. I like warm foods, do not like cold foods or seafood/fish. Summer is my best time - it makes me crabby to have to close the windows. I have no desire for sex at all- was raped at age 16 - that was my first sexual experience. At age 17 became pregnant as result of another forced sexual encounter. I have struggled with a smoking addiction for most of my adult life. Hope this is what you needed. Thank you again for your assistance.

I forgot to mention that my hair is thinning for about 9-10 years now. MD cannot find reason 4 this. Also I get acne on my face mostly in cheek area. And have alot of facial hair on upper lip & chin (aren't I just a dream girl?) I also get headaches which seem to start at the back of my neck & move up to forehead. When I have h/a I often have knot in my upper shoulder area. Just thought I would add these. Thank you very much

I also get heartburn, however I feel it as a burning pain to the right of my spine. Also currently have bad tendonitis in both elbows. OK - I think I got everything. See what I mean about being forgetful?

No not in anger - I just am afraid that I will hurt someone either by giving the wrong medication, by driving down the street & getting into a car accident & hurting someone - things like that. I don't think I could live with myself if I did something like that. Hope that helps.

Thank you for the tape suggestions. I will look into them. When I do get angry I swear, slam doors and often leave the house to go walk. Of course I do not do this when I am at work. I have a difficult time sitting down & discussing anger, why I am angry etc. I often don't like to talk about it at all. What I don't understand is why I feel so angry much of the time - I try to look at my life and change what I need to etc. I also do not understand the extreme reaction I have all the time. I guess my mother was like this and so I follow in her footsteps & my daughter now follows me.

Sometimes I do throw objects at the offender - rarely though. Yes, I find it very difficult to ask for help & not exactly sure what you mean by strong sense of honor - but I do think this does apply to me. Thank you Sameer for your help - I do appreciate your time. My depression is getting very bad.

I do not experience trembling with any emotion. I don't know that I worry about hurting people emotionally - but I do worry about what others think about me & compare how they treat me verses how they treat others. This has gotten much better but is still a part of my life.

No I have not.

How many of the pellets of the 30C is considered to be one dose? Thank you so very much for your guidance.

I know you said to post in 5 days but I took the remedy on Friday. It did help with my energy level & my face cleared up. I did notice a decreased desire for smoking & my tooth feels better. However, it has not helped with the anger at all. And I did notice when I do get really angry I do fear hurting someone because of my anger. It would be just my luck that I would screech out of the drive way and run over someone. I also do feel angry alot because of my daughters behavior. So what comes first her behavior then my anger or my anger and then her behavior?

And it did help me to not feel so hungry all the time.

ok - I will wait. But I thought you had said on a different post that if it was the right remedy you should get results right away?

Ok - thank you for clarification. I will wait.