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Irrational thoughts and panic attacts

Hello everybody. I found this website/forum while researching natural remedies for my problem, and I'm hoping there's someone here who can help as I'm running out of hope.

I'll try to explain it as good as I can, but my memories of the last 3 years have been patchy. It all started about 3 years ago (2006) when I started dating my current girlfriend. At the time she was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic and borderline personality, and had most of the symptoms associated with them (delusional thoughts, irritable, severe mood swings, anxious, etc.) At the time I was very supportive and tried to help her cope with her disease.

Unfortunately, after a while of living with her I started to pick up some of her symptoms. At first it was just irritability, but after a while anxiety came along. I also started to feel like I was losing my identity and turning into someone/thing else. All the above symptoms were slight, but I could tell they were building up.

Skip ahead to 2008. The symptoms become worse. I hardly spend any time with my friends anymore and when I do I feel like a different person when I talk to them and even they hint that I've changed. Irrational/delusional thoughts and fears surfaced around the same time. I began to think she could hear what I was thinking.

I began to analyze every sentence I spoke to some one and I was always worried about offending people because she would always give me a 'how dare you' stare when I would say things that wouldn't normally offend people (I asked her politely if she could flush the toilet after she uses it because of staining, for example. It generally wouldn't matter how small the favor.)

She ended up going to a psyche ward in April of 08, and while she was in there I started having 'reoccurring thoughts' all day, mainly wondering why I'm with her and doubting it will work. I would have arguments with people in my head for hours at a time, sometimes all day, and my imagination played the role of the person I was arguing with.

While she was there I started drinking in an attempt to deal with the anxiety and reoccurring thoughts, which worked wonderfully at first. It 'cured' every mental problem I had obtained, but as time went on it just got worse, unsurprisingly.

When she got out of the psyche ward about 2 weeks later she was prescribed anti-psychotics, which pretty much eliminated most of her condition and she acted more like the person I knew before she developed her condition (I knew her for a few years before we started dating). But I couldn't recover from being subjected to the negative symptoms for so many years.

So now in the present I'm doing slightly better. I quit drinking in Dec 08. I don't feel the social anxiety as strongly anymore, though it is still far from gone. I still have the 'reoccurring (sometimes delusional) thoughts' and arguments with others in my head, which are the main issues I'm stuck with at the moment.

I'm sorry for telling you my 'life story' (even though it's 3 years), or if I gave too much information up front.

22 year old Male
5'10' 170lbs. (I've gained 25 pounds over the last 8 months or so if it's significant)

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm truly grateful for any help you can provide.

Eric
 
  anthrop on 2009-01-18
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Ahh, I posted a topic twice. I'm sorry..
 
anthrop last decade
I should mention too that I'm currently taking Ginseng, Valarian Root, B12 supplement, DHEA, and Trazodone for sleep. And when we first started dating I was taking medication for my thyroid, although the doctor never did any tests beforehand so I know she didn't really know if I had a thyroid problem or not, and I've noticed that some of the symptoms of thyroid problems match some of that which I'm experiencing, I just don't know if the meds did it or it's just a coincidence.

Thanks again!
 
anthrop last decade
Bump!

Please, any advice is greatly appreciated.

Thank You.
 
anthrop last decade
white chest nut and mimmulus batch flower medicines morning evening and night respectively a gap of one hour between the two pl use for three month dose as one drop on tongue or 8 pills
 
akshaymohl last decade
Thank you for responding.

I will pick them up soon and follow your instructions.

Thank you again.
 
anthrop last decade
Meditation.
It is very effective in relaxing mind and keeping away all negative thoughts.
Also keep a watch on your thoughts throughout the day and convert any negative thought into positive. As soon as you observe any argument in mind, take a pause, take a deep breath and exhale.Imagine that argument is turning into peace.
 
reema_yogi 9 years ago

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