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Relationship anxiety ruining my life

If anyone can help me with this I would be truly grateful.

Over the last few years I seem to have developed 'relationship anxiety'. Whenever I become involved with a man, my anxiety starts escalating, my head won't shut up, my stomach is in knots, I can't sleep, lose my appetite. It is unbearable. I try really hard to hold myself together, but it becomes too much and I have to end the relationship just to get relief. I become terrified that they 'are not 'The One', or they aren't 'right for me'. I obsess about this, and pick faults. I lose confidence in myself and become quiet and fearful.

When I am single I am fine. I am funny and bubbly and appear confident. I generally enjoy life ok, but feel very lonely, and desperately want to find my life partner and have a family. I feel hopeless that I will never find anyone, or if I do I will ruin it anyway with the anxiety. I am nearly 36 years old, and time is running out.

My parents divorced when I was three, my Dad got custody, apparantly my mum couldn't cope with us. we saw her at weekends. Dad did his best, but was mainly absent with work. He remarried when I was six. They then had a baby when I was eight.

I was apparantly abused by a babysitter when I was two, but I don't remember it.

I was devastated by the breakup of my first love relationship when I was 20 years old.

My relationships since then have not lasted long. I am mainly single. I am terrified of going through the anxiety I inevitably feel once in a relationship.

I have medioum brown shoulder-length hair and greeny/yellow eyes. Fair skin and freckles. I am slim and don't gain weight easily, but lose it quickly when anxious. I wolr as a graphic designer, but have no passion.

I hate the cold, and find it intolerable. I am cold when other people are not. I love being cosy and warm. I love being in the sun.

In bed I have restless sleep, and night sweats, especially on my legs and stomach, not my head/face. I sleep on my side with my knee bent and pulled up towards my chest.

I prefer salty to sweet. I crave cheese and wine and tea.

My dreams are of tidal waves, and rejection from ex boyfriends.

I have tinnitus in my right ear.

I have an anxious stomach and low-level nervousness all the time. Alternate between constipation and loose stools. I get hives after a hot shower or sweating from exercise.

I cry easily when I think of my loneliness. I hate confrontation. I am extremely sensitive and over-react.

I hope this helps someone help me!

Many thanks.
 
  Loobyloo35 on 2009-04-19
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
white chest nut bach flower thrice daily for one month mimmulus once daily evening for one month j k mohla
 
akshaymohl last decade
i think that you should take three doses of natrum mur 30 on a single day at a gap of 4 hours. No more doses.
From next day onwards you should start bach flower remedy suggested by Dr. Mohla.
please observe homeopathic restrictions like no coffee, no raw onion/garlic, don't eat or drink anything 30 minutes before or after taking medicine. try to avoid junk food and black drinks.
please report your response to natrum mur after 7 days.
 
kadwa last decade
Thank you for your kind responses. I have used Mimulus and White Chestnut in the past, but they don't 'touch' it.

Today I heard my ex-boyfriend has found someone else. We broke up six months ago, but the pain at hearing this news has been intolerable, it hurts so much I can't bear it, I had to go home from work at lunchtime to cry and cry. I cannot bear to think of him with someone else, even though I know we are not right for each other. This is how I react to any news of ex-boyfriends. Total over-reaction and pain. I feel mortally wounded.

This is why I am terrified of forming relationships, the pain is too much. Please help. Is Nat Mur still my remedy? I am concerned because I am very emotional and weep loudly and easily, and I prefer heat to cold, which doesn't sound like Nat Mur?

Also, how soon should one feel a positive change after taking a remedy?

Many thanks. Lucy.
 
Loobyloo35 last decade
Please read up Nat Mur and match the mental symptoms and thermal modalities. Pay attention to symptoms like:

- Laugh and weep alternately
- Inappropriate laughter
- Hate consolation sometimes leading to anger
- Egg white like discharges
- Emaciation
- Hysteric

As you rightly popinted, Nat Mur is hotty. It doesnt match your intolerance to cold.
 
srisri last decade
Hi Lucy,

these are your symptoms/facts

My parents divorced when I was three, my Dad got custody, apparantly my mum couldn't cope with us. we saw her at weekends. Dad did his best, but was mainly absent with work. He remarried when I was six. They then had a baby when I was eight.

I was apparantly abused by a babysitter when I was two, but I don't remember it.

I was devastated by the breakup of my first love relationship when I was 20 years old.

My relationships since then have not lasted long. I am mainly single. I am terrified of going through the anxiety I inevitably feel once in a relationship.
I am concerned because I am very emotional and weep loudly and easily, and I prefer heat to cold, which doesn't sound like Nat Mur?

My dreams are of tidal waves, and rejection from ex boyfriends.

this is natrum mur
Mind.--Psychic causes of disease; ill effects of grief, fright, anger, etc. Depressed, particularly in chronic diseases. Consolation aggravates. Irritable; gets into a passion about trifles. Awkward, hasty. Wants to be alone to cry. Tears with laughter.

these are your symptoms/facts
Over the last few years I seem to have developed 'relationship anxiety'. Whenever I become involved with a man, my anxiety starts escalating, my head won't shut up, my stomach is in knots, I can't sleep, lose my appetite. It is unbearable. I try really hard to hold myself together, but it becomes too much and I have to end the relationship just to get relief. I become terrified that they 'are not 'The One', or they aren't 'right for me'. I obsess about this, and pick faults. I lose confidence in myself and become quiet and fearful.

this is sepia
Mind.--Indifferent to those loved best. Averse to occupation, to family. Irritable; easily offended. Dreads to be alone. Very sad. Weeps when telling symptoms. Miserly. Anxious toward evening; indolent.

this is platina
Mind.--Irresistible impulse to kill. Self-exaltation; contempt for others. Arrogant, proud. Weary of everything. Everything seems changed. Mental trouble pressed menses. Physical symptoms disappear as mental symptoms develop.

so prescription made earlier still holds good.

i think that you should take three doses of natrum mur 30 on a single day at a gap of 4 hours. No more doses.
From next day onwards you should start bach flower remedy suggested by Dr. Mohla. You may also take gentian and chestnut bud alongwith white chestnut.

please observe homeopathic restrictions like no coffee, no raw onion/garlic, don't eat or drink anything 30 minutes before or after taking medicine. try to avoid junk food and black drinks.
please report your response to natrum mur after 7 days.

7 days down the line we will decide whether to repeat natrum mur or to switch to sepia. This will depend on your symptoms 7 days down the line.
 
kadwa last decade
Dear patient,
I also agree with dr.srisri and dr. kadwa's observations and suggestion.

But in my opinion let us start with Sepia-1m and wait for atleast 2 week for positive response then keeping with changes we should move further.The point raised my dr.kadwa is worth consideration.


dr. mahfooz
 
Mahfoozurrehman last decade
hi,
I think I know what you are going through... I'm going through the same thing at the moment and it's pretty hard to control your thoughts, especially when you are close to one specific person and all your negative thoughts are focused on that person.

I have never taken homeopathic treatment, so I don't have any advice to give you on those grounds but I can tell you that its ok to feel what you are feeling.. That is kind of the first step.

And My first relationship coloured me so much its difficult for me to stop my mind from running haywire whenever I'm with the incredible person I have chosen to be with.

But again it's my choice... I've chosen to be with him and the rest of the things that come in my head I can control. It's after several months of worrying and panicking that I realised that acceptance of my anxiety and the fact that my past is my past and that I have to move on, really put things in perspective now. So it's easier to live with it...

I hope this helps you :)

tc
 
jeeni last decade

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