Dr. Sameer, help for my husband, depression, lacking stamina...

Dr. Sameer, if you have time I'd like you to look over my husband's case. His issues have gotten so bothersome for him that he's finally agreed to getting some help.

He is very depressed and has no motivation to do anything. He is extremely hard working, but I know he only does it out of necessity and responsibility; he'd much rather zone out in front of the TV, which is what he does every day after he gets home.

He is not enthusiastic about anything. Has issues with seeming greatful about anything. If he gets a gift it's hard for him to show emotion. It has to be from something he's extremely passionate about; like football (soccer).

If I bug him enough he will do things and I know he only goes out with us because of that sense of responsibility, not because he feels he will enjoy it. Although once he's out he's in a much better mood, generally, unless he was really reluctant.

I mentioned before in another post that he grew up in a very violent atmosphere. His father stabbed his mother, his uncle killed his wife & son a year ago, his father would beat them and call it discipline. He has scars on his back from the beatings, they are deep enough that they can be felt.

My husband doesn't see this as abuse, but thinks he deserved it.

His father was an alcoholic and changed due to religion.

He's tall, about 5'11, maybe 6 ft tall, and slender, but has a small belly and I can see that mid section begining to get fatter... He's got dark thick full head of hair. He looks kind of Indian. Has dark skin, but is even darker from tanning. ONe thing that struck me as odd when we met is that his feet are ackwardly small, as are his hands. He's bow-legged.

Lately he's been complaining about not having any energy and feeling very fatigued. His work is very physical. Sometimes he will sweat so much that you can see a crusty salt buildup on his skin.

He gets lots of muscle cramps. Has cracked dry and very calloused hands.

Our main issue is that he SNORES and has apnea. It's so horrible that it's getting difficult to be in the same room with him. He doesn't stop long enough for me to fall asleep. It's the loudest snore I've ever heard and he makes so many different sounds! It's like a one man show!

I hear him hacking when he goes to the bathroom, as if trying to get excess mucous out, a lot! He often bleeds from his nose, especially when very stressed or too much heat from working outside all day.

He has these white spots on his skin that he gets from excessive sun exposure (our son has one on his face, but is very light skinned) which just appeared recently). He has one dry spot taht's also lighter in pigment.

He's very stressed out about our finances, but doesn't share ANY of his feelings with me. He doesn't share much with me (or anyone), actually, in the way of emotions, he's very closed up. When his relatives have died he's never cried in front of me, at least.

One of his great weaknesses is that when I'm at my worst (like after my c-section) his worst comes out. He becomes mean, pretty much. He HATES seeing weaknesses in others, especially me.

One time after my c-section I began to scream from agonizing pain because my c-section opened up from the inside and I couldn't move, just scream... When I was able to open my eyes I looked to my side and he was just standing there, staring. It scared the crap out of me. When my mother came running he demanded she go back in her room. I objected, of course! This is the type of thing he'll do when I'm sick (which has been a lot)

I've spoken to him about the incident and all he will do is listen, won't reply at all. Hates to talk or be made to talk about these things...the most I've gotten out of him is he doesn't know why.

That's all I can think of, for now...

Thanks!!!

Ana