The ABC Homeopathy Forum
help - i'm a mess!
Help - I'm a mess! I have recently suffered from depression for the past year. I have always been a hyper sensitive person and have suffered from social anxiety and fear of blushing for as long as I can remember (which is probably what brought the depression on in the first place.) I have been seeing a CBT therapist which has helped me address most ofmy emotional concerns, and now the depression seems to have lifted. But, I still seem to have lots of stress/anxiety related problems - can you help me?In order to get a good quality reply, you will have to give as much of the following information as you can:
1. Each symptom in as much detail as possible. For example, for a headache, describe the type of pain (ie sharp, dull, stabbing, pulsating etc etc)
I blush very easily! I lack energy and motivation, I procrastinate alot, I avoid people and socialising if I can! I tend to have mood swings and get depressed easily - though not so much now as I seem alot happier recently.
My hair is dull, my nails curve up if I let them grow instead of down, but they seem in good condition. My eyes are often dull and red. I also suffer from irregular periods and tension in my forehead, right between my eyebrows. I suffer from greasy skin problems such as black heads and open pores.
I recently put my sacrum out on new years eve whilst dancing in a smokey room - but i have always suffered from back problems as I have mild scoliosis.
Occasionaly I sometimes notice when I lie down at night - my heart kind of feels like it fluctuates. But I've had a heart tes and it came back fine.
2. Where each symptom is located (ie at right temples)
Blackheads are situated on my T-zone - but more so on my nose, spreading onto my cheeks as open pores. My right arm, just below my shoulder feels quite sore and stiff when i bend it at the elbow and lift it up.
When I blush it can sometimes spread on to my chest, arms and neck and it looks like a mottled patchy rash. When I blush on my face it rises up as a big flush. Sometimes I have a croaky throat before i speak.
3. What first started it off (ie walking in a cold wind)
Not sure. The symptoms just gradually occured many years of suffering from an anxiety dissorder.
4. When it's worse (ie on seeing bright lights, on stepping, before period, etc)
I get emotional and suffer from aching, very low period pains a few days before my period starts. When it starts - my legs feel shakey and like jelly and my lower back usually aches. I feel extremely tired.
5. When it feels better (ie lying down in a dark room, when warm, when cold)
I feel happiest and healthiest when the sun is shining bright, it is warm, dry, but not too hot and i am outdoors walking in nature - especially in late spring. Or when I am warm, in bed, in a dark room with the covers pulled over my head.
6. Your sleep pattern and details of any recurring dreams.
I have always needed alot of sleep - I can sleep for 10 hours, sometimes more - I am trying to get into a routine now so say, 10.30pm to 8.30am. But until recently i never had a routine. I have suffered from very bad insomnia in the past..and recurring dreams of tidal waves, water rising etc...but I seem to be ok sleep wise now, though i still tend to have colourful, vivid dreams - this time usually of people and feeling fear from something out of their control - like a murderer or something.
7. What you are sensitive to (ie, heat, cold, touch, criticism, etc)
I've always been a very sensitive, creative, overly imaginative person - I seem to like sympathy, hate critisism and like my own company. I'm not very independent and I often have cold hands or feel the cold even when others are hot. I am also sensitive to stimulents such as caffine, chocolate, sugar, spicy foods and alcohol but I've cut them out of my diet now.
I often feel sleepy after I've eaten. I feel uncomfortable when people touch/hug me.
8. Your state of mind (fears, anxieties, attitudes, moods, etc)
I suffer from social anxiety, fear of blushing, fear of failure, fear of relationships with the opposite sex (I know - I'm a mess) fear of public speaking. I often feel sorry for myself (though not as much now thanks to the therapy.) When others speak i sometimes find it hard to focus on what they are saying because i am absorbed in my own thoughts - i am distracted very easily and find it v.hard to finish one task before I'm on to the next one. I probably think too much. I'm v.sensitive to other peoples emotions, opinions and words - things seem to affect me much more easily then other people which often sends me into a mood because i feel helpless to change things. I have been told i have an artistic temperament and that i am too sensitive.
9. Any desires or aversions for particular foods, and wether certain foods make you feel better or worse.
Carbohydrates seem to make me sleepy. Sugar and caffine make my heart race. I love nuts and fish - i can't seem to get enough of them.
10. Details of any major diseases suffered in past.
Measles during childhood.
Glandular fever when 18.
Rabies vacines when i was 6 because i was attacked by a dog in Italy.
11. Detals of any reactions to other medicines taken.
Non.
12. History of homeopathic treatment if any.
Sulphur and silica.
13. All other symptoms you have (ie watering eyes, cold feet, thirst).
I drink a lot but dont seem to pee out as much as i drink. I sometimes have sweaty hands. My appetite varies. Feel fatigued and sleepy a lot of the time - could sleep at any time of the day probably. Lack motivation, determination, ambition, creativity which I used to have plenty of before i got depressed.
rosesarered on 2005-02-05
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
We know you are 18 or over, what age?
Were you shy, etc. in elementary school?
What age did you notice, feel different?
Tell us about your family. Who is shy, or hyper, or non- caring, etc? Who is favorite person? Siblings? were they mean?
When you look in your mirror, what is the first thing you criticise?
Did you do well in school? What is a subject you like?
What country or state? Mention of light gives reason for question. No city please.
Favorite foods. Most disliked foods.
Blessings, Sabra
Were you shy, etc. in elementary school?
What age did you notice, feel different?
Tell us about your family. Who is shy, or hyper, or non- caring, etc? Who is favorite person? Siblings? were they mean?
When you look in your mirror, what is the first thing you criticise?
Did you do well in school? What is a subject you like?
What country or state? Mention of light gives reason for question. No city please.
Favorite foods. Most disliked foods.
Blessings, Sabra
♡ sabra last decade
Sabra - hinys of Tuberculinum here.
passkey last decade
Hi Sabra,
Thanks for your interest...here are the answers to your questions.
We know you are 18 or over, what age? 23
Were you shy, etc. in elementary school?
I think I was shy, but I remember being more outgoing because I didnt realise I was shy, if you know what I mean. I probably wasnt so self aware then. I think I only started to get really self conscious after I started to get bullied at school for blushing, around age 9.
What age did you notice, feel different?
From being a late 8 year old to 9 and 10 and then onwards I realised I felt different. (probably because of the bullying) and my confidence spiralled down hill very fast.
Tell us about your family. Who is shy, or hyper, or non- caring, etc?
My mum is also an introvert very shy, passive, also socially anxious, lacks energy and blushes easily, she has a history of health problems too- esp with her eyes.
My grandad was the same when he was alive, but his shyness seemed to make him a more awkward/difficult person to deal with. He could be v. stubborn.
My dad is very confident, talkative, sociable, outgoing, positive, healthy - rarely listens to what others say, likes to be centre of attention (the complete opposite to my mum infact.)
Who is favorite person?
I'm much closer to my mum because she understands me more, but I admire my dad's character more because he seems to have all the extrovert qualities that i lack.
Siblings? were they mean?
I have a half sister and a half brother on my dad's side, but because they are a lot older than me. My half brother left the home before I was born and my half-sister left when i was about 7. So I've been brought up more or less as an only child. I don't know my brother well, I get on with my half sister better, but non of us are really all that close. They didnt treat me mean.
When you look in your mirror, what is the first thing you criticise?
Everything! But I'm a perfectionist, so I'll probably never be happy. I often think I'm too fat, or my face isn't not pretty enough, my thighs and stomach too big.. though people tell me otherwise. They say I cant see what they can. But I think Its the other way - they cant see what i can!
Did you do well in school?
Yep... I used to work really hard to get good results. But I have been told before that I am all work and no play. I have even een told I can work like a 'machine' when I put my mind to it!! But over th last year or two seem to have gone to the other extreme and can't face work at all. I am still finding it hard to get back into my work as an illustrator.
What is a subject you like?
Art, Design and Creative writing and reading. I hated drama, sport and maths.
What country or state?
Mention of light gives reason for question. No city please.
England.
Favorite foods.
I crave sweet, often fatty foods, though I have tried to cut them out somewhat. I also like eating nuts (esp brazil nuts) and seafood. I would eat more avocados if they weren't so fattening - i like them too!
Most disliked foods.
Cream. Red meat - especially tough meats. Bitter foods. Pastas. Hard boiled sweets. (i like soft, sweet, mushy foods best) I can eat anything really though.
Oh yeah, forgot to add I seem to get really bloated and water logged quite easiliy especially around the time of my period. I also have a history of food disorders. (Just trying to give you as much info as I can by telling you all this... hope it all helps!)
Your help is really appreciated, thanks again.
Thanks for your interest...here are the answers to your questions.
We know you are 18 or over, what age? 23
Were you shy, etc. in elementary school?
I think I was shy, but I remember being more outgoing because I didnt realise I was shy, if you know what I mean. I probably wasnt so self aware then. I think I only started to get really self conscious after I started to get bullied at school for blushing, around age 9.
What age did you notice, feel different?
From being a late 8 year old to 9 and 10 and then onwards I realised I felt different. (probably because of the bullying) and my confidence spiralled down hill very fast.
Tell us about your family. Who is shy, or hyper, or non- caring, etc?
My mum is also an introvert very shy, passive, also socially anxious, lacks energy and blushes easily, she has a history of health problems too- esp with her eyes.
My grandad was the same when he was alive, but his shyness seemed to make him a more awkward/difficult person to deal with. He could be v. stubborn.
My dad is very confident, talkative, sociable, outgoing, positive, healthy - rarely listens to what others say, likes to be centre of attention (the complete opposite to my mum infact.)
Who is favorite person?
I'm much closer to my mum because she understands me more, but I admire my dad's character more because he seems to have all the extrovert qualities that i lack.
Siblings? were they mean?
I have a half sister and a half brother on my dad's side, but because they are a lot older than me. My half brother left the home before I was born and my half-sister left when i was about 7. So I've been brought up more or less as an only child. I don't know my brother well, I get on with my half sister better, but non of us are really all that close. They didnt treat me mean.
When you look in your mirror, what is the first thing you criticise?
Everything! But I'm a perfectionist, so I'll probably never be happy. I often think I'm too fat, or my face isn't not pretty enough, my thighs and stomach too big.. though people tell me otherwise. They say I cant see what they can. But I think Its the other way - they cant see what i can!
Did you do well in school?
Yep... I used to work really hard to get good results. But I have been told before that I am all work and no play. I have even een told I can work like a 'machine' when I put my mind to it!! But over th last year or two seem to have gone to the other extreme and can't face work at all. I am still finding it hard to get back into my work as an illustrator.
What is a subject you like?
Art, Design and Creative writing and reading. I hated drama, sport and maths.
What country or state?
Mention of light gives reason for question. No city please.
England.
Favorite foods.
I crave sweet, often fatty foods, though I have tried to cut them out somewhat. I also like eating nuts (esp brazil nuts) and seafood. I would eat more avocados if they weren't so fattening - i like them too!
Most disliked foods.
Cream. Red meat - especially tough meats. Bitter foods. Pastas. Hard boiled sweets. (i like soft, sweet, mushy foods best) I can eat anything really though.
Oh yeah, forgot to add I seem to get really bloated and water logged quite easiliy especially around the time of my period. I also have a history of food disorders. (Just trying to give you as much info as I can by telling you all this... hope it all helps!)
Your help is really appreciated, thanks again.
rosesarered last decade
Also, occasionaly I can sometimes hear ringing in my ears when I lie down to sleep at night and my dad suffers from tinitus.
rosesarered last decade
Dear Rose, Mum Very charming sounding to me here in America. As I am a granmum, experience tells me a lot about your situation.
Most children are usually naturally outgoing until some other child or adult criticizes or bullies and taunts them. No matter what is said to the child to try to make them feel better, they believe what has been said. One just knows it is not true, but believes it anyway. It is sort of like the body believes it.
Most can overcome it with time and experience, but when a sensitive child is born of a sweet, but sensitive and insecure mum, it is near impossible even when mum understands. You didnt have a strong person to imitate. Even though your dad is outgoing, I pick up that he was not enough builder of confidence in you.
So first, you are a copy of mum. There is nothing wrong with this. It is natural, but in your case, difficult. I looked and sounded so much like my mother that when I became an adult, some family members thought I was her at different times. As my mother was not well liked, this was really difficult for me for awhile. You see how these things fit together, even though we would really wish otherwise? It is the way of things until we learn to understand/accept and change our way of thinking.
It seems you are doing a good job of learning to choose and know how foods affect you. Get a little book from the health store on Acid vs Alkaline. This will help you understand more and why alkaline is more healthy for the human body.
You mention Avocados. Maybe you could eat them after you learn what each vegetable and fruit represents in food values. They are related to Bananas, kiwis, and these are related to latex. So, if you find out you are sensitive to latex, you know what to avoid. These are things you will pick up over time.
When you prefer and respond more favorably to sunny days is called SAD. This is a condition caused by a dim or cloudy climate without enough bright sunshine for that particular person. Seasonal Affective Disorder. meaning Sun Deprivation. This is a major cause of depression in some people. There are flat sun lamps for sale that have full spectrum light bulbs. (about suitcase size) When one sits in front of this light at certain times of the day for a length of time, it relieves SAD depression. Many people buy full spectrum bulbs for the lights in their homes. Seems I have heard that areas of England rain a lot and are not so sunny?
When one eats lots of sweets and carbs etc., one could have Candida. This is a yeasty condition in the body. One would have to be tested for this. It interferes with the body and depression also. Cravings sometimes tell us of the Candida. Look these things up and learn more for yourself. You are a smart lady and dont have to be told every detail. You can figure things out too. What you need is a reasonable pattern to try to put together instead of feeling so scattered that you feel like a mess.
Not doing anything is one view of quietness, but procrastination really means that you are deciding what to do, or what you want to do. When we become so distraught about our lives, we sort of stop going forward and sit and wait. This is not something that is permanent. It is like a stopping place to regroup. Lots of sleeping is another sign of depression.
Blackheads must be squeezed out and tender care of the skin given. Do not scrub skin, it causes more problems. Get advice from a health worker in a health store. Maybe get a facial from someone that is recommended to you. Get a facial every 6 weeks if you can afford it, to make yourself feel cared for. Go get your hair washed once a week to give yourself a treat.
Dont go to a dept. store where they sell all this expensive junk for the skin. It is only sales, not any benefit for you, only their pockets.
Back pain with no injury usually is a lack of calcium. When one is stressed we use up the free-flowing calcium in our bodies and we begin to leach calcium out of our spines. We need to replace it. Get some liquid calcium. It is like little squishy white footballs. 4 per day; two in the am and two before bed. The hard tablets hardly digest like they should. For your hair, this is a sign that you need some Zink. Take only 3 per day. More is not better. Bite the tablets to help them digest better. You will notice your hair is more shiny within two weeks or so. Of course, this also means, good in the body. PLEASE drink only bottled water. There are some things happening to our earths water supply and our bodies are not happy.
Can you remember the cause of the anxiety disorder when you were younger?? Very few people like public speaking! Self critical, but you are like others. One doesnt have to like to speak in public. Try to change your liking for sympathy, this is not going forward. To be reassured and comforted is another view you might embrace. A better way of saying things you need. Do you ever feel angry or just sad and depressed?
It is a good sign for you to say I felt different. To believe yourself (as) different is not good. Being different is fine. Feelings are fine. Do you have a girlfriend who you think looks good? Is she anything similar to your size? I have a special reason for asking this.
You will probably always blush to a degree, might as well be at peace with it. Hating it makes it much worse. Being absorbed on your thoughts is your search for answers for yourself. Sometimes one cannot see the forest for the trees. It is hard to heal oneself. One needs friends and direction and suggestions to try to seek what is most comfortable for you. No guilt or shame...find out what you really like! It is no ones business what you want to do or what you like. You are an adult now.
Vivid dreams may be all your fears (or groundless guilt) presenting themselves when you are ignoring them while you are walking around trying to talk yourself out of them during the day. Fear is a real waste of time and become chains that tie you up, preventing forward motion. You need to remind yourself constantly that there is a plan that makes sense and we are always watched over. Fears keep you from feeling the angels and guides that belong to you, to give you comfort and guidance in everything. I have died three times in my life and I know what is there...and it is wonderful.
To help you get started with the calcium and zink, get some Bach Rescue Remedy at the health store and take half a dropper when you feel threatened and fearful.
IGNATIA 30X may be a good beginning remedy to help you relax and especially sleep. Take one dose every night for 5 days and see how you respond. (If you awaken you could take another, but not past midnight) There are two or three others I think may be good, but you have some things to do before trying more.
Hope I havent written too much, but I wanted to address each item I could all in one letter. It does have a pattern and it can be improved with thought changing. Changing of the attitude along with a few remedies to help you progress forward and regain your sweet imaginative creativity. Just because you are different from some, does NOT made you wrong, it makes you who you are, Unique!! Blessings to you and your family, Sabra
Most children are usually naturally outgoing until some other child or adult criticizes or bullies and taunts them. No matter what is said to the child to try to make them feel better, they believe what has been said. One just knows it is not true, but believes it anyway. It is sort of like the body believes it.
Most can overcome it with time and experience, but when a sensitive child is born of a sweet, but sensitive and insecure mum, it is near impossible even when mum understands. You didnt have a strong person to imitate. Even though your dad is outgoing, I pick up that he was not enough builder of confidence in you.
So first, you are a copy of mum. There is nothing wrong with this. It is natural, but in your case, difficult. I looked and sounded so much like my mother that when I became an adult, some family members thought I was her at different times. As my mother was not well liked, this was really difficult for me for awhile. You see how these things fit together, even though we would really wish otherwise? It is the way of things until we learn to understand/accept and change our way of thinking.
It seems you are doing a good job of learning to choose and know how foods affect you. Get a little book from the health store on Acid vs Alkaline. This will help you understand more and why alkaline is more healthy for the human body.
You mention Avocados. Maybe you could eat them after you learn what each vegetable and fruit represents in food values. They are related to Bananas, kiwis, and these are related to latex. So, if you find out you are sensitive to latex, you know what to avoid. These are things you will pick up over time.
When you prefer and respond more favorably to sunny days is called SAD. This is a condition caused by a dim or cloudy climate without enough bright sunshine for that particular person. Seasonal Affective Disorder. meaning Sun Deprivation. This is a major cause of depression in some people. There are flat sun lamps for sale that have full spectrum light bulbs. (about suitcase size) When one sits in front of this light at certain times of the day for a length of time, it relieves SAD depression. Many people buy full spectrum bulbs for the lights in their homes. Seems I have heard that areas of England rain a lot and are not so sunny?
When one eats lots of sweets and carbs etc., one could have Candida. This is a yeasty condition in the body. One would have to be tested for this. It interferes with the body and depression also. Cravings sometimes tell us of the Candida. Look these things up and learn more for yourself. You are a smart lady and dont have to be told every detail. You can figure things out too. What you need is a reasonable pattern to try to put together instead of feeling so scattered that you feel like a mess.
Not doing anything is one view of quietness, but procrastination really means that you are deciding what to do, or what you want to do. When we become so distraught about our lives, we sort of stop going forward and sit and wait. This is not something that is permanent. It is like a stopping place to regroup. Lots of sleeping is another sign of depression.
Blackheads must be squeezed out and tender care of the skin given. Do not scrub skin, it causes more problems. Get advice from a health worker in a health store. Maybe get a facial from someone that is recommended to you. Get a facial every 6 weeks if you can afford it, to make yourself feel cared for. Go get your hair washed once a week to give yourself a treat.
Dont go to a dept. store where they sell all this expensive junk for the skin. It is only sales, not any benefit for you, only their pockets.
Back pain with no injury usually is a lack of calcium. When one is stressed we use up the free-flowing calcium in our bodies and we begin to leach calcium out of our spines. We need to replace it. Get some liquid calcium. It is like little squishy white footballs. 4 per day; two in the am and two before bed. The hard tablets hardly digest like they should. For your hair, this is a sign that you need some Zink. Take only 3 per day. More is not better. Bite the tablets to help them digest better. You will notice your hair is more shiny within two weeks or so. Of course, this also means, good in the body. PLEASE drink only bottled water. There are some things happening to our earths water supply and our bodies are not happy.
Can you remember the cause of the anxiety disorder when you were younger?? Very few people like public speaking! Self critical, but you are like others. One doesnt have to like to speak in public. Try to change your liking for sympathy, this is not going forward. To be reassured and comforted is another view you might embrace. A better way of saying things you need. Do you ever feel angry or just sad and depressed?
It is a good sign for you to say I felt different. To believe yourself (as) different is not good. Being different is fine. Feelings are fine. Do you have a girlfriend who you think looks good? Is she anything similar to your size? I have a special reason for asking this.
You will probably always blush to a degree, might as well be at peace with it. Hating it makes it much worse. Being absorbed on your thoughts is your search for answers for yourself. Sometimes one cannot see the forest for the trees. It is hard to heal oneself. One needs friends and direction and suggestions to try to seek what is most comfortable for you. No guilt or shame...find out what you really like! It is no ones business what you want to do or what you like. You are an adult now.
Vivid dreams may be all your fears (or groundless guilt) presenting themselves when you are ignoring them while you are walking around trying to talk yourself out of them during the day. Fear is a real waste of time and become chains that tie you up, preventing forward motion. You need to remind yourself constantly that there is a plan that makes sense and we are always watched over. Fears keep you from feeling the angels and guides that belong to you, to give you comfort and guidance in everything. I have died three times in my life and I know what is there...and it is wonderful.
To help you get started with the calcium and zink, get some Bach Rescue Remedy at the health store and take half a dropper when you feel threatened and fearful.
IGNATIA 30X may be a good beginning remedy to help you relax and especially sleep. Take one dose every night for 5 days and see how you respond. (If you awaken you could take another, but not past midnight) There are two or three others I think may be good, but you have some things to do before trying more.
Hope I havent written too much, but I wanted to address each item I could all in one letter. It does have a pattern and it can be improved with thought changing. Changing of the attitude along with a few remedies to help you progress forward and regain your sweet imaginative creativity. Just because you are different from some, does NOT made you wrong, it makes you who you are, Unique!! Blessings to you and your family, Sabra
♡ sabra last decade
Thank you so much for your help...you are an angel to me!
Thanks for the diet advice aswell and the advice about the lamps, which I will look into.
I can't remember the exact onset of my anxiety but it was probably was around the time the bullying started..I dont think I had so much of an issue until after that.
You also asked me if I have a girlfriend who I think looks good and if she is anything similar to mysize?
Not really.. although i love my best friend, she is chinese, short and with roundish features..the oppostite to me - I am tall, english with long features. Come to think of it, most of the best friends i have had in the past have ALWAYS been shorter and rounder than me, but also much more outgoing and talkative. I guess opposties attract?
You havent written too much.. I found everything you write very useful and I will try my best to put it into practice and let you know if there are any changes.
Thank you again for all your help and words of encouragement.
Roses x
Thanks for the diet advice aswell and the advice about the lamps, which I will look into.
I can't remember the exact onset of my anxiety but it was probably was around the time the bullying started..I dont think I had so much of an issue until after that.
You also asked me if I have a girlfriend who I think looks good and if she is anything similar to mysize?
Not really.. although i love my best friend, she is chinese, short and with roundish features..the oppostite to me - I am tall, english with long features. Come to think of it, most of the best friends i have had in the past have ALWAYS been shorter and rounder than me, but also much more outgoing and talkative. I guess opposties attract?
You havent written too much.. I found everything you write very useful and I will try my best to put it into practice and let you know if there are any changes.
Thank you again for all your help and words of encouragement.
Roses x
rosesarered last decade
Hi,
What was the effect of Silica and Sulphur? Did you feel better?
When did you take those remedies? What potency?
Homoeopathy can surely help you..
I shall get back to you after going through your case.
Take care...
What was the effect of Silica and Sulphur? Did you feel better?
When did you take those remedies? What potency?
Homoeopathy can surely help you..
I shall get back to you after going through your case.
Take care...
magicure last decade
I have been taking Sulphur 30c and Silica (moulded tablets) for about two weeks, I do feel a bit better - I have more energy... but I'm not sure if this is down to the remedies, changes in my diet or the CBT therapy.
I chose the remedies myself... tho I'm no homeopath, but I don't take them regulary - just when I remember, usuaaly 2-3 times a day. (I'm not even sure if it is right to take them.)
Thanks for your interest and help!
I chose the remedies myself... tho I'm no homeopath, but I don't take them regulary - just when I remember, usuaaly 2-3 times a day. (I'm not even sure if it is right to take them.)
Thanks for your interest and help!
rosesarered last decade
Dear Rose, not my choices of remedies. Up to you.
The reason I inquired about a friend is because I know of someone that had a great deal of weight problems as an "ugly" child that no one took care of. As a teen someone took her to the side and taught her things to do. Like wax eyebrows and let the natural fuzzy hair grow long to be heavy to straighten out, etc.
She is now a mature adult and quite lovely. She told me that her eyes "still lie to her in the mirror about her body." So she has a belt of a correct "normal" size she has kept for years. When she is unsure about the image in the mirror, she uses this belt as a "size guide" to reassure herself.
If it continues to fit, she feels confident, if tight, she knows to cut back a bit and excercize more to adjust back to her appointed weight and "look" she has chosen.
I wanted to suggest that you find something like this for yourself. Trusted friend (s)that would help you find a pleasant acceptable "look" about yourself that makes you happy and choose objects as your guides to give you the continued confidence that you are truely what they say, not what your mirror says. You will be able to figure something out by using this story of my friend.
Also, do not be afraid of setting a fashion of some type of "look" you like and likes you. The people that critize, you don't need and the ones that think it looks well will remail valuable friends. Conquer the fear to step into your "own style."
Blessings, Sabra
The reason I inquired about a friend is because I know of someone that had a great deal of weight problems as an "ugly" child that no one took care of. As a teen someone took her to the side and taught her things to do. Like wax eyebrows and let the natural fuzzy hair grow long to be heavy to straighten out, etc.
She is now a mature adult and quite lovely. She told me that her eyes "still lie to her in the mirror about her body." So she has a belt of a correct "normal" size she has kept for years. When she is unsure about the image in the mirror, she uses this belt as a "size guide" to reassure herself.
If it continues to fit, she feels confident, if tight, she knows to cut back a bit and excercize more to adjust back to her appointed weight and "look" she has chosen.
I wanted to suggest that you find something like this for yourself. Trusted friend (s)that would help you find a pleasant acceptable "look" about yourself that makes you happy and choose objects as your guides to give you the continued confidence that you are truely what they say, not what your mirror says. You will be able to figure something out by using this story of my friend.
Also, do not be afraid of setting a fashion of some type of "look" you like and likes you. The people that critize, you don't need and the ones that think it looks well will remail valuable friends. Conquer the fear to step into your "own style."
Blessings, Sabra
♡ sabra last decade
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