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They call it Depersonalization. Please help me!

Hello

My story begins 9 years ago, when I had a strong psychotic attack after getting too high on Marijuana. I felt something dark opened within me, and I was suddenly pulled in. About one and a half hours of fierce fighting against this force (or entity) left me beaten up, drained and shocked. The basic narrative of this mental episode was: 'You are no good, there is no point in anything. Nothing is really worthwhile. You knew that eventually you gonna lose. Desperation is the only way.' It pretended to be God, but I knew God would not be so sadistic. It was something else.

And this is how Depersonalization stepped in. I was only 24 at that time (today I am 33).

I slowly realized I was changed, in the beginning it was very subtle. But as time passed by, I couldn't not notice I am not the same person anymore. I mean, in the inside it was still the same me, but something with the interface between me and the world got complicated, corrupted. Almost 'overcrowded', with no room to breath. My life lost spontaneity, authenticity. Every action, every word, every expression had to go through a barrier, a buffer of some sort. An unnecessary step in the process. I felt my existence to be un-natural, un-real. As if I am faking it, as if I am acting myself, always trying to make sure nobody notices the ever growing elaborate charade I put on.

The biggest issue of this affliction, is me sensing that something is terribly wrong here. Like there is a bug in the core of the system. A big joke that I don’t get, and no one is telling me the punch line. Sometimes I just wanna shout at strangers: 'Don’t you see it's all just a big joke!? Just a show? What's the point in all of this?'. It scares me to think people can see through me, and reveal my secret.

A huge sense of low confidence developed within me. I cannot perform infront of a crowd. Having to make a speech is my worst nightmare. I will probably faint before I do so.

It is exhausting. I feel no relief.

I truly believe my salvation will come through Homeopathy. It holds a big secret I need to unravel.

So far I tried Hydrogen (with low potencies of LM), Thuja (30C ~ 1M), Anacardium (30C ~ 200C), and Nat Mur (30C~10M).

Still, no relief. My next remedy is going to be Anacardium 1M.

Anyone who wants to suggest his help will be gladly accepted.

I think it's time for me to look back at all this mess and know I made it to the other end.

Thank you for reading my story.
Kestner
 
  kestner on 2009-06-20
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
your remedy is white chest nut and mimmulus bach floewer to be taken thrice daily pl mix two drops of each in two table spoon of water and take as one dose pl use for three month report after one month pl go to profile
 
akshaymohl last decade
What discomforts u feel on physical side .

Any digestive problems .

Why your confidence is so low .
 
vikas_grower last decade
And, these symptoms did not exist before the Marijuana episode ?
 
sameervermani last decade
Hello again

Discomforts I feel on the physical side:

- Facial skin is very dry (especially during winter)
- Dandruff
- White coating on tongue
- Tinnitus (Ringing in both ears)
- Floaters (black spots in both eyes)
- Lower back pain
- Neck pain (I have to perform a lot of 'knacking' to release neck discomfort).
- Mild digestive problems (stools are frequently soft, and irregular. Once a day, or once every two days).
- Sometimes during the day (usually around noon), I get strange feelings around my chest and throat, as if something there is restless or unsettled.
- I used to have acne on my back and shoulder-blades for since the onset of my condition. It's been a few months now that the acne is gone, but i felt it is important info to share.

The mental symptoms I mentioned in my first post, did not exist before the Marijuana episode (I was always a sensitive guy and somewhat of a thinker, but I felt totally normal at that time).

I hope the picture is clearer now.

Thanks again for any help
 
kestner last decade
You should take 3 doses of CANNABIS INDICA 30c for one day only, because when the problems start from Marijuana, that is the first remedy you should give a try.

One granule dissolved on the tongue 1 dose, and you have to take 3 such doses for 1 day ONLY, and then wait and watch for next 10 days, and report back any changes you observe.
 
sameervermani last decade
Hi Kestner, You have explained exactly what happened to me. I notice t has been some time since your post and was wondering if you have had any relief from your symptoms.

Thanks
Paul
 
pleppard last decade
Hi Paul

I know it's been a long while.
But until now, not cured yet...

Depersonalization is a cruel labyrinth. Anyone knows the way out?
 
kestner last decade
Maheeru on this forum has helped heal some people with
this, but he is not on here much due to being busy-
you can contact him for private treatment-
Maheeru At Rocketmail dot com
 
simone717 last decade

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