Dr. Sameer, please help my depression and anxiety

I am a 37 year old mom to an almost 4 year old son with autism. I have been depressed since I was a small child. I have extreme anxiety, anger (rage), sadness. Last year I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I have recurring thoughts of suicide that I have lived with since I was a teenager. I have been treated with western medicine, chinese medicine,and homeopathy. Everthing seems to be worse since the birth of my son, who is an only child. His birth was probably the most tramatic thing that has ever happened to me.I still break down into tears when ever I think of it. For eight months I kept thinking what a horrible mistake I had made, in thinking that I could take care of a child. I had terrible post pardom depression that I don't think I have gotten over. I didn't want to be close to him or take care of him. I still have a hard time feeling a bond with him. Around his 8 month birthday being a mother got a little easier and it was then that I realized something was wrong. He stopped clapping, his gaze was off he didn't use any gestures and I knew my son had autism. I spent every waking minute researching through my tears. I developed terrible insomnia and all I have done for 3 years is worry about everything. I still cannot except the fact that my son has autism and I have a very difficult time dealing with him. Last week my husband told me he was divorsing me and I can't think straight, I can't stop crying and I don't know what to do. I'm crying so hard I don't know what else to write.