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Social Anxiety, Lack of Confidence and Bullying

I went through the self-diagnosis but found that there are many different remedies, none of which fit my symptoms to a T so I would like the professional opinion of the forum members.

My symptoms are as follows:

1. I get anxious when I am in a bar, at a music event or at any kind of night club. I am usually fine when I am out during the day. When I am out at night I am constantly worried that others are judging me, that no girls are interested in me, that I'm under dressed or that I am not attractive. I constantly look around at others and I never can just let go and enjoy myself.

2. I am intimidated by other males, especially ones that are larger in stature than I am. I have had past experiences with being bullied and never stood up for myself, this has seemed to haunt me.

3. I sometimes bully my current girlfriend and our pet, for no apparent reason.

4. I have trouble looking my parents in the eyes.

5. I sometimes don't take critique well and can take things personally even though I jokingly critique others.

6. My stomach always seems bloated during the day and is only not bloated when I initially wake. I have excessive flatulence during the day as well.

7. I sometimes have odd sexual fantasies and find myself having trouble reaching orgasm during intercourse unless I fixate on these fantasies.

7. I have trouble talking to to other females regardless of whether I think they are attractive or not.

8. I feel fatigued often and only occasionally have spurts of energy.

I currently exercise 5 days a week and have a somewhat healthy diet, eating 6-8 meals a day.

Any help is greatly appreciated!

John
 
  dreamtime214 on 2010-11-16
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
What is the experience of being judged? What is being judged? What are you if not attractive?

What is the experience of meeting a male larger than yourself?

What is the feeling when speaking to your parents?

What is the experience of criticism?

Describe these sexual fantasies (if you feel comfortable doing this in public)

What is the experience of trying to talk to 'females'?

Describe to me your relationship with other people - how do you see yourself?

Describe your deepest feelings about yourself? What do you think about most often when looking at yourself?
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
What is the experience of being judged? What is being judged? What are you if not attractive?

I feel that I am being judged on appearance, confidence, demeanor, attractiveness. I am ugly if not attractive. It feels uncomfortable.


What is the experience of meeting a male larger than yourself?

Feel intimidated, feel as if they look at me as a child or someone they can easily control. Feel a lack of respect for me and wanting to be the alpha male.

What is the feeling when speaking to your parents?

I'm not sure how to describe it. I just find it uncomfortable to look them in the eyes when I speak with them. It just feels awkward.

What is the experience of criticism?

I easily dish out criticism but when I receive it I sometimes get defensive and take it personal.

Describe these sexual fantasies (if you feel comfortable doing this in public)

I'd prefer not to.

What is the experience of trying to talk to 'females'?

Uncomfortable, feel like I'm being judged by them or they are not interested in me and are looking elsewhere and/or bored with talking to me.

Describe to me your relationship with other people - how do you see yourself?

With people I know I consider myself a funny, relaxed person. I don't have a problem socializing with people I know.

Describe your deepest feelings about yourself? What do you think about most often when looking at yourself?

I have mixed feelings about myself. Certain days I will only have great things to say about myself and will make it through the day fine. I usually only start doubting myself when in large public situations. In these situations I feel less attractive and like a nobody. I feel as if I don't exude any confidence and that anyone could walk over me. I also get somewhat jumpy in large social situations. If someone bumps into me and/or touches me it slightly startles me.

Let me know if you need more details.
 
dreamtime214 last decade
Based on what you have said so far, it looks a great deal like the remedy Lac-caninum.

The state of Lac-c is to feel less than others, to feel looked down upon, to feel inferior, to feel ugly. In my experience with patients who need this remedy, there is a focus on their attractiveness to the opposite sex (or lack of) and issues of domination by other males.

Also something I have noticed, is that the Animal remedies tend to talk about 'males and females' instead of 'men and women', and alpha male is not an uncommon expression (of course this is specifically an expression used around canines).

Did Lac-c come up in your original analysis? What symptoms did you put into the Remedy Finder?
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I apologize for the delay in my response. No, that remedy did not popup as I remember. One of my main symptoms was social anxiety in crowds. What is the recommended dosage for this remedy? Anything else I should know?

Thanks!
 
dreamtime214 last decade
You didn't mention any physical symptoms, but there are many indications of LYC, Lycopodium, if the physical symptoms are also there.
 
Homeopathy International 1 last decade
If your general body type is tall and thin, I would give Lycopodium 30c, one pellet in 10oz of water, and drink one tablespoon.
 
Homeopathy International 1 last decade
Physical symptoms include:

1. Constant bloating
2. Acid reflux even though my diet is pretty healthy
3. Constantly swollen lymph nodes in my neck
4. I'm constantly have drainage from my sinuses and am always hacking up phlegm.
5. Constant Fatigue


Body type I am 5'9' and weigh 160lbs.

I looked at the symptoms of Lac-caninum and they don't seem to fit me, unless I'm missing something.
 
dreamtime214 last decade
Lac-caninum is just an idea for those symptoms, as JH has rightly pointed out Lycopodium can also cover them.

Each remedy has its own state, which lies behind the symptoms (or threads them together). Matching that state is the best way of finding a fit, as long as you do not ignore the symptoms at the same time.

The state of Lycopodium mainly centres around their ability to do new things, to cope with new places, to interact with new people. Lycopodium feels anxiety in any situation where their ability will be tested, where they do not know for sure that they will be successful. There is a very profound lack of confidence around their capabilities. It is aggravated by exams, tests, trials, competitions. It is aggravated when there is a chance of failure.

This means that Lycopodium feel their confidence issues much less when they keep their environment very familiar, doing things they know they can do. In such an environment they are often gregarious, confident seeming, often bossy and even arrogant. They can become quite domineering at home.

The moment you put them in a situation that is new or unfamiliar, things become quite nerve wracking for them. This might be standing up to give a speech in school, starting a new job, sitting for university exams, moving away from home, learning to drive a car and so on. They can become sick with nervousness, will procrastinate and avoid having to do it. If forced to, on the inside they will be shaking with anxiety, but on the outside you probably would never know, and will usually go through the event with success.

Once they become familiar with the activity, they will lose their fear, and may even become quite overconfident about it. They may cover up their initial anxiety with boasting about their skills. Lycopodium love to rewrite history, making themselves the hero, reinventing themselves as brave.

This brings us to a key feature of the Lycopodium state - a coward on the inside, a braggart on the outside. To overcome their feeling of being small and incapable, they will puff themselves up to seem big and powerful. In the presence of those they deem as less capable, they will lord it over them, act superior. In the presence of those who they feel are greater than them, they will act humble and submissive.

Many Lycopodium people will say they feel like a fraud - that they do not deserve their successes or to be seen as successful. Because they feel like failures, because they feel that they cannot actually do their tasks competently, they feel like they are lying to people.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
That sounds more like my emotional symptoms. Should I just take the dosage one time?
 
dreamtime214 last decade
I believe I can see a different remedy here, although the remedy that I think might suit you is indeed related to Lycopodium.

If I look at:

Criticism aggravates
Censorious (critical)
Yielding
Domineering
Ailments from scorn
Startle easily
General themes of feeling ugly (and issues around clothes, attractiveness etc)
Troublesome erections during coition


This would actually suggest Sulphur to me as the remedy.

Materia medica of Sulphur that relates to your presentation of your case:

'The main feeling of Sulphur is that of being scorned, suppressed, put down, criticized. The person is made to feel humiliated, his pride is hurt. Embarrassment is one of the main feelings in Sulphur. There is therefore a constant effort, a struggle to come up again... to be someone, to know something, to earn respect. He feels that he is expected to be good in his appearance, his relationships and in his business, and these include his knowledge, talent and capabilities. Failing this, he will have to face scorn and bear embarrassment. The struggle is for ego and honour. Ego is one of the biggest themes in Sulphur and effort one of the main actions.'

'Sulphur persons may be very concerned about how they appear to other people. They have the feeling that if they are not perfect in their appearance, they will be scorned.'

'They need to feel good about themselves because they have the feeling of being unimportant and of being disgraced. Very sensitive to criticism, scorn and insult. They live each in their own world, where they can feel good about themselves.'

I have had a few Sulphur cases where the person reported a very low confidence, very poor self-esteem, especially around their attractiveness to women.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
So would you suggest this over Lycopodium or would you suggest taking both?
 
dreamtime214 last decade
You should never take two remedies at once, or even close together, unless there are very specific conditions for it (usually it is advanced pathology like cancer, and even then under the supervision of someone who knows those protocols).

To me it sounds more like Sulphur - what do you think of the information I posted?
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I think that both Lycopodium and Sulfer ring some truth with me. I honestly can't say which rings more true. I also do have a few other emotional symptoms that may help.

1. I get bored easily with tasks that are not immediately interesting or entertaining.

2. I can be a very pessimist person.

3. I have never been satisfied with my life and I feel like I'm still waiting to reach my potential.

4. I always want what I don't have and always see the grass being greener on the other side.
 
dreamtime214 last decade
respectfully disagree with you, here brisbanehomoeopath.

There is nothing in this case that shows Sulph at all.

Every single symptom mentioned here including the patients body type point to Lycopodium as the remedy, IMO.

Lycopodium symptoms...
bullied by those more powerful, and bulling those less powerful
social anxiety before an engagement
intimidated
bloated abdomen
sexual issues described

You could use Lycopodium 30c.
 
Homeopathy International 1 last decade
But the good news is, there is an easier way and you don’t have to do it alone.

Are you letting your past stop you having the future you want?

Everyone has a story

Many of us have had difficult events to deal with during our life’s journey. But choosing to allow those events to enable growth and improvement is up to YOU.

No matter where you are in your life at the moment it’s never too late, to start creating the tomorrows you want today.

During my journey I have grown and blossomed from the leanings of my many challenges including:-

* Poverty
* Abuse
* Divorce
* Fibromyalgia ( a chronic debilitating illness)
* Cancer (A pancreatic tumour and a malignant melanoma)
 
fortzz3546 last decade
Well I quoted the materia medica entries that have similarity to the patient's expressed problem. As the patient has said, there is some resonance there in that description of Sulphur.

Both Lycopodium and Sulphur have similarities - they are well-known complementaries. Both are psoric remedies, both struggle for recognition and appreciation.

In clinic, one of the differences I see between these two remedies is the focus on appearance and attractiveness in Sulphur, that is not so prominent in Lycopodium. Lycopodium is focussed on being successful in new and difficult situations (or avoiding them). Sulphur longs for deep and lasting connection with others, Lycopodium avoids that kind of committment and connection.

Sulphur appears for :

Servile, submissive
Domineering
Swelling of the abdomen

...so in those respects the two remedies are not easily differentiated.

He doesn't have anxiety before the engagement, only at it. The feeling there is that he is ugly, that others will not find him attractive. This is not typcially how a Lycopodium expresses their anxiety in social engagements, where they feel a sense that people will see that they are faking it, or they will be called on to do something out of the ordinary for them and they do not feel they are capable.

The sexual issues have not been described very well, so we cannot use those to differentiate with any remedy. Troublesome erections is one of the most common problems that men get, it is on par with painful periods in women - every remedy can cover it because it is a common symptom.

I cannot say to you that Sulphur is your remedy, there are similarities here to both. Perhaps you need a third remedy that is neither of these. It is up to you which you try - as long as you do not overdose your self there should be no problem.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
So 30C of lycopodium. What about sulfur? How far apart should these be taken?
 
dreamtime214 last decade
Do not take another remedy soon after starting a first. Once you commit to a medicine, a treatment plan, you should follow it through until it is clear it will not help you or has done all the work it can. The remedies are not really interchangeable either, so choose one, stick to it and see how you go.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Ok, the only person that gave any dosages just said to take one dose. It sounds like from your post that I should be taking it more than once. Is this the case?
 
dreamtime214 last decade
One dose is safest, for measuring your reaction to it. After that more doses can be taken once you can see what happens. Most people need more than one dose to get a good result, but how often is highly individual.
 
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Ok, I will order 30c of Lycopodium and take the recommended dose.
 
dreamtime214 last decade
Ok so I dissolved one 80C pellet of Lycopodium in 10oz of water and drank a tablespoon and didn't really feel anything. I will try a slightly higher does tonight and see what happens.

What is recommended?
 
dreamtime214 last decade

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