Internal Scar Tissue in my pelvic area

Write an essay on yourself, your personality, nature, likes and dislikes, thermal preferences, cravings and aversions, fears and dreams, your ambition in life, your inner-most desires, your place in society etc.
My personality is normally upbeat; I am self-motivated entrepreneurial type. I enjoy being intellectually challenged. I am a mover and I am very analytical. I do not like conflict, bad company, or trauma. I prefer 70- 75 degrees, but I am normally cold. I crave frozen yogurt, red wine, and nicotine, although I have not smoked a cigarette at all in three years and maybe a pack a year for three years prior to that. I avoid wheat, gluten, yeast, and dairy as much as possible. I do not eat bread or pasta. I am afraid of dying or contracting having to live with some chronic disease, (my other has Lupus).I am afraid of snakes and spiders. Physically, I dream a lot about my son that drowned in an accident 15 years ago. As far as achievements, I dream of being an influential international businesswoman teaching entrepreneurship and funding small businesses worldwide (starting in South Africa in the spring). My inner most spiritual desire is to be pleasing to God, to be the best wife and mother I can be. I desire to be in good health and to live a reasonably happy life.
To deal with my past hurts habits and hang-ups I have been in a Christ-centered recovery program for three years which has made a huge positive impact on my life. I just started year three. My goal is to commit to the program five years(I have a lot of emotional junk). We meet every Tuesday for two hours at my church.

3. What is your profession? Do you enjoy yourself at work? Is it a profession you have willingly chosen? If not, what would it be as per your choice?
I am a regulatory compliance professional in the consumer fiancé industry. I am working on an MBA in entrepreneurship in one f the top ten business schools in the country. In the next two years, I hope to pursue my business full time. I enjoy my work, but I experience difficulty concentrating due to physical ailments and life outside of work. My choice is definitely to be a serial entrepreneur.

4. What would you like to change in your personality, if at all?
I would like to change my selfishness, my prideful attitude, unforgiveness (grudge holding), not be so easily offended, fear of commitment in my mind.


5. Please pick out the adjectives which best describe your personality;

Anxious, Worrying, Proud, Emotional, Suspicious, Jealous, Aggressive, Headstrong, Forgetful, Insecure, Rigid, Feminine.

6. Did you have any bereavement in life? If yes, how has it affected you?
My son drowned in 1995 at a family reunion with his father’s mother. It was very difficult to survive for many years. I began to smoke marijuana and drink to ease the pain. I had a spiritual encounter that changed my life in 1998. Now I remember him and miss him but I am not habitually depressed or sad about it.


7. Do you often suffer from depression? If so, do you prefer company or solitude during those times? I do isolate out of anger because my husband and other men in my life have been physically, emotionally or sexually abusive, hence the need for a Christ-centered recovery program.

8. Do you get angry often? If not, do you feel the anger inside at least? What are the things / issues on which you get angry the most?
I do get angry inside when I feel I am being taken advantage of. I get very defensive. I do not hit, scream or yell. I internalize accept for when I have to be firm with my 18 year old son. He can be hard headed and sometime does not respond to “sweet mom” so I have to be “talk crazy mom.” I do not hit him. I always apologize for speaking mean to him and explain that it was the only way I could get his attention to keep him from flunking a class or procrastinating on something important. He does not like it but he understands. Before recovery, I had angry outburst often, but not anymore. When I would get angry, I would feel euphoric. Now when the anger rises, I pray, breathe and call my sponsor before acting out.


9. Do you have any issues regarding your parenting by your guardians? How were their nature / behavior towards you during your childhood and adolescents? How has it affected your personality and thoughts?
My parents divorced when I was 16. I experienced sexual abuse which turned into to incest from the age of six o7 until I was 16 (from my brother who is one year younger). My brother was introduce to pornography early on and acted it out on me. I told my parent about these five years ago, they were devastated. As a child my father was an adulterer, a workaholic and emotionally unavailable. My mother was mean, bitter, and angry. They provide all of my needs and most of my wants but my family was definitely dysfunctional.

Also, let us know if there were any diseases running in your family.
My mother has Lupus and everything that goes with a twenty-year fight of that disease. She also had thyroid problems, as did her two sisters. They were raised near a lead smelter. My mom’s mother no medical issues accept bad knees; she is 80 and still drives. My mother’s father is 81; he has a stroke, high blood pressure and the beginnings of dementia. My father’s mother died in her mid 50’s from diabetes (gout) and a broken heart. My father’s father died in his late 50’s from liver disease, he drank himself to death.

How many times were you vaccinated? Was there any adverse reaction to them?
Normal vaccinations, no adverse reactions.

I plan to try it this weekend. What are the side effects and precautions. What is this remedy supposed do for my ailments?