New Symptoms: to David, Sameer and Niel

oh sorry:

Ears: i feel an impediment in my hearing on the right side. I feel like the right side of my skull is stuffed and less resonating than the left. The hearing is pretty normal, but different form side to side. I often ask people to repeat what they said.

I feel like the right side of my body is less developed and functional in general. It's my orphan unlucky side. :)

What happened when you were 15 ? What was going on in your life at that time ?

Things changed before, but I didn't notice. I was 9 and my father had a stroked before my eyes (he survived and died for a pancreas cancer 13 years later) and that was the end of my happy part of the life.

What are the diseases that run in your family?
Heart attacks on the whole father side (but I have very low pressure, I vertigo almost every time I stand up).
Pancreas cancer (father, died aged 70)
Leukemia (sister, died aged 9 months before I was born)
Latent deafness, especially of the right ear (my 40yr old brother wears a machine to hear better) on father side

My mother is as strong as iron, except for some bone achings/postural complaints.

What if anything makes you feel better in general ?

Singing. I've been doing it from my very first word. Art, confirms about my value.
I have been often defined a genius (but I often feel like I'm worth nothing and like my life amounts and will amount to nothing. I feel like I won't be able to perform things i keep doing everyday)
Warmth: warm people, warm hearts, warm bed. I love sleeping in a warm, soft, bed.

What makes you feel worse ?

Cold, cold attitudes in who I love. Lack of love.
Cold weather: it makes me angry, it frustrates me, I hate it.

What are your best times of the day ?

I used to be very happy in the morning when I got up, I used to love the ritual of breakfast.
But recently my habits have changed and I cannot tell.
In general I might like day better than night, but i'm not sure.

Thank you.

What happened when you were 15 ? What was going on in your life at that time ?

At 15 I had the first anxiety attacks, obsessive thoughts, doubts about myself.
it matched with a boyfriend and my first public performances as a singer.

Seems like it's hard for me to make art a public issue, yet it's all I want.


My acne got dramatically worse a year ago, after I met my present boyfriend and we moved in together.

My favourite lapsus linguae in my native language is between the word that means 'marriage' and the one that means 'insane asylum'.



What describes me best are flashes:

as I said before, when I used to have the obsessive thoughts (which I still get now and then, but they don't even bother me anymore) they can be flashing visions about hurting myself;

or flashing illusions of black spots running.


OR they can be genius visions about art stuff, or intuitions about a situation or about the future (of the world, of someone. Sudden empathy for someone in grief.s

Recently, I saved a baby's life because, in a place crowded with people, i was the only one to realize that a superloaded and uncontrolled garbage tank was rolling down a ramp and was about to hit a cradle. It was a flash: I yelled and the mother jumped on the cradle and pushed it away.

Sometimes I feel like the world opens to me without me doing any effort.
I feel a creature, I feel part of it, and therefore I have a deep understanding of it.

When I'm healthy, that's who i still am (and that's who i was as a baby): an open heart and an open mind, loving life and feeling part of it, beyond rules, academies, even beyond time.

I'm not crazy, at least not saying this: that's what everybody who knows me thinks of me too. :)

And I have to say many are upset about the way I am... as I can see the man in the homeless as well as in the professor/politician/whatever...

what do you mean, sorry?

no, no sexual intercourse till the age of 22.

the leuchorrea started around the age of 13 or even before.

and acne started at 17-18... with other boyfriend, with the decision to sing professionally and with the departure from home.

in my medical past there is also daily regurgitation of food right after breakfast (with later diagnosis of hiatal hernia, but no helycobapter).

so:

from age 13 to present - leuchorrea
form age 15 to 22 - anxiety and vomit (the first fixed with psychoanalysis and the second with a natural cure)
from age 17 on - acne


thank you.

Discuss more on:

Part of Nature

Uh... hard to say, they're deep deep feelings.
I could use images...
I feel like I can annul myself in the Universe and therefore act with its power.

Right usage for everything

my boyfriend uses a wine glass to turn off his cigarettes: I could never do that to a glass.
he smokes: I could never do that to my lungs.
he does a job he doesn't like: i would never waste myself like that, who am I to do that?

A glass, or a person, has a nature: we have to understand it and respect it.


Universal Order/

It's a matter of 'rightness', beauty and world health at the same time.


Things that are right

right like 2+2=4
NO JUSTICE ISSUES AT ALL, NO RULES, just scientific statements made out of observations.
that's because I love art: it makes sense. there's an... order :)


Describe the exact experience of feeling someone else's pain

It happens both with physical and emotional pain.
I cannot even watch violent movies where people get hurt because I can feel the pain on my body.
I cannot pass a homeless on the street without considering that he/she's a person like I am that is REALLY lying on the street in the cold and in the dirt. And feel consequently.
I always say 'there's too much pain in the world'.
I read emotions on people's faces, I understand when someone has not understood something (happened a lot in school) and why and therefore I can explain it and am not relieved till I have done it.
I just cannot distract myself when I see pain and whenever I have the occasion to do it, I address people to who/what they need.

This is related to the Order: I have to fix what's broken, bring it back to its original physiology.

Pain is non-order, in a way.
Is denying someone to work the proper way.

Describe being blinded by sunlight, the experience of it, the feeling it provokes

Of being part of the Nature, of being overwhelmed by a huge, warm energy. It's like the world is proving his love to me. And even if my eyes are blinded, how could I ever say 'no, thank you'?

Describe the kind of thoughts that keep you awake at night.

I have no idea. None in particular.

Whenever i cannot sleep I just feel something restless and tight inside my brain and body that forbids me to FALL asleep, to abandon myself.
Sleeplessness has occurred VERY rarely in my life, thank god. It KILLS me.
Sleep is as warm and blessing as the sunlight. It's a warm, loving embrace, even if I have nightmares.
I think it's one of the things I love most in life.
What kills me about homeless is that they don't have a bed.

Describe more on an unlucky orphan

Well... I have always felt like a happy little princess who, lost her father, fell into disgrace and had to cope with a rough world. i am still trying to get back to my little pink princess status :)

Describe the moment your happy life ended, describe more on what it was like to see your father have a stroke

I felt for the first time in my life that I had a problem and how it felt like, that I was alone and undefended. I was shocked. i was no longer a child. 'Welcome to life'. I feel like everything changed after that. I have always been brilliant in school, but since that episode I could no longer concentrate, either during classes or on homework.
Always reported the best score anyway because of uncommon intelligence, but having to concentrate was a torture, I could read the same line hundreds of time. I have ripped more than one book in two for the frustration.



Describe more on a 'mother as strong as iron'

I have just always doubted that she loved me. She's not mean, but she's been very cruel. Strict and full of rules, humiliating my personality, intruding my private life...
I think I had the idea that she wanted me dead.
oh, and very competitive too.


My mother is very COLD, my father was everything to me.

Describe more on 'cold attitudes'

I don't know.
People who follow or make follow stupid rules for no reason,as an instance.

Thank you.

Describe to me how you see the world - how you feel in the world - how the world affects you.

I feel like a child of the world; sometimes like an animal or even like a plant. Like a creature who experiments the world and herself, her body as part of the world - and sings along. I have dreamt often to take off and fly, with my body, always in the same way, like I knew the technique and I could remember exactly how to do it. Like it was normal for me. And, also, to run on the 4 paws like a dog, fast as hell. I guess it has something to do with the singing technique. Amazing feelings. And recurrent, always the same.
It's amazing how important my dream life is to me. And how beautiful, even if scary.

On the other hand I often just feel like a child who doesn't understand the grownups world.

When I am sad, the same child fears the world, the storms, the pain, the poorness and doesn't know how she will cope with all of it.

I feel like the little girl of the tale who has run out of magic matches and can no longer fantasize about magical solutions and worm embraces by her sweet grandmother. And freezes.

I feel like the world appears to me in his grey face. It becomes too big, too difficult, too wide, too competitive.

But I have to say that a good sleep, a good breakfast, feeling beautiful and practicing singing are all I need to make my day.

Describe 'Love'

Which kind of love?
I love the world, I love people. I like them, I like observing them, I love life, its science, its ways. I love to stare at it and see how it reveals its secrets to me.
I love being here talking to you, and that you read and listen.
That is love.

I can say something about my relationships: sometimes i doubt have ever been with someone I deeply liked.
Especially physically. For an instance: I am 6 feel tall and I often chose shorter guys. The taller ones... depends. But mostly I don't find them attractive or they even scare me, if they too big. Like they could hurt me.

I have always had a good sex drive, but I don't know if i have ever fully satisfied it.


Describe more on this 'restless and tight'

Like the only way to sleep would be that someone pushed a 'Power' botton in my brain to turn me off.
I am looking for an image, but I don't know... Maybe like someone was pulling a string inside of me... I feel some bad adrenalin keeping me awake, i feel that I get more and more tired and yet I cannot release that tension and let go.

That could be similar to what I feel when I have to sing in public and I am so scared that I cannot breath deeply.
Everytime I have to sing I am afraid that I won't be able to do it. As I had never studied.
Another recurrent dream is that I am about to go on stage and I have no idea of what i have to sing, I haven't studied the music and so on.
TERRIBLE.


Describe what it would be like to be homeless - imagine being in the situation, and tell me about it


It would be not having a warm bed, a floor to lay on without being seen, a place to sing, a place to take care of my body and make my self beautiful.
I am a 'flower child' with glamour needs!
Otherwise I might be a wanderer, who knows.



Anything else you wanna tell ?

I could never stop and at the same time I have the feeling i have faked the whole interview!



Any food cravings or aversions ?
I can't tell, because the remedies I've been taking have changed it a lot.
I have been vegan (because of the acne) for a long time, and I could no longer stand the taste of meat, it really felt 'dead flesh'. And sometimes i can still feel it. Other times i really enjoy a good steak, but I have meat less that once a month. same for fish.

But I have always eaten everything.

I cannot live without fruit and vegs or I feel intoxicated...
Recently a lot, lot of chocolate... but there already were remedies involved.



Any other feelings or sensations anywhere in the mind or body ?

When I sit for a long time i get a terrible muscolare pain on the edge of the right scapula that blocks my neck.
I cannot sit or stand for long: I have to lie or move: walk/dance...
I walk even when i practice singing.

I have varicose veins. Those run in my family too, father side. My legs often feel heavy and they go to sleep very easily when i sit.

I have always had bruxism at night.


your mother - can you give exampes of where she was cruel, how she intruded, how she humiliated, how she was competative.


I had a cat. I have always loved cats and i finally got one when i was 13. After a couple of years I come back home and she had got rid of it, saying that I wasn't taking good care of it.
I had a good friend, a little older than I was: she thought she might have been a lesbian and forbade me to be in contact with her. 15 years after I have met her: she actually is a lesbian now, but I guess that's not the point.
Same with boyfriends.
She has always read my correspondence, she beated me as a child (and was a very sweet one, but she made me feel like a criminal).
She a teacher of the worse type: no love, all judgement.
We're ok now. But she is insecure and therefore was hysterical, violent and cold. OH: SHE HAD NO MILK FOR ME; I WASN'T BREASTFED.
Competitive because she keeps saying that at my age she was more beautiful than I am.

She feels a winner, and I thought she was. I thought my father was a loser, and sadly he thought so too. But after he died, the family has fallen apart.
Since his stroke we separated, he changed.


Could you please also list all the remedies you have been given and what the reactions were

SEPIA: LMK then DMK, daily for 6 months.
I felt more open and loving, the uterus excoriation seemed to improve and the leuchorrea too, but the acne and the itching of the skin while I ate were still there. I felt more relaxed and sane, yet I am not Sepia. And if I could not take the remedy for one day I felt different: how's it possible? I felt nervous and vulnerable.

PLATINA, LMK, daily for a month: right after Sepia. It made me really beautiful, made the upper part of my body fuller. But I became more arrogant. At the end of the first month I started feelig like all I was was a mask to hide the greatest feeling of inadequacy. I could no longer sing and i stopped it. During Platina my IBS seemed to get worse, I had terrible roarings in my lower abdomen, painful, like I had bubbles of gas moving, I coud see them from the outside. So I quit it.

Then I did some self therapy.
But it's better if I don't tell you, or you'll get upset! :)

Then the doctor visited me on the Skype again and gave me CROTALUS HORRIDUS.


Thank you.

wait doctor, read this!

Deseases as a CHILD:

I have always had hypertrophic tonsils and I recurrently had them infected and covered with pus, with very high fever.

I have been vaccinated against Hepatitis B (which did me no good, I am afraid - I was around 10 years old)

In a blood test I once was found positive to Paratyphus (cannot remember which type or how old I was, I guess around the same age. My father got really scared because a brother of his had died for Thyphus aged 18.)

Then, at 22, I had MONONUCLEOSIS, with huge tonsils that have been covered with pus for week. i had an abdominal echography after the given time and the spleen was back to normal, everything was OK.
The MONO occurred a few months after my father's death.

I am starting to think that there's a connection between the liver and my acne: the acne comes out when I eat fats that apparently I cannot digest.
When I have recently overdosed the Lycopodium (that I self-prescribed to myself), I started to get the painshots in the liver, but the skin looked very good.
I AM NOT SURE, but it looks like the worse the liver, the better the skin.


Thank youuuuu!!!!!!

Anyway... oh my GOD!
What a wonderful remedy!

Is it usually effective against acne?

Thank you so much, Doctor.

I am struck by the prescriprion because I have always felt like an intermediary between the sky and the earth. My main side is definitely the spiritual one.
The remedy reminds me of the dove that in Christian religion is the symbol of the Holy Spirit. And it also makes me think of the pains of the mystics, who suffered the pain of the world on their bodies.

I really hope the remedy will work.
I cannot find it in the list, I'll take a better look.
Which potency?

Then I have two more symptoms, although I understand that the prescription was based on other considerations:

I have pimples with pus around the pelvis area, apparently due to hair stuck under the skin. They are very painful too and look a lot like the ones on my face. And they have spotted the whole area with scars, exactly as on my face.

I have a very heavy PMS. I cry, the mental sensitiveness gets even stronger and my breats bicome bigger, fuller and hurt a lot at the touch. The cramps start after the blood appears, with pain in the right ovary and terrible pains in the lower back.
When the pain is gone, the sexual drive increases. They are quite early, but not too profuse and last long: I have light brown spots till the 7th day.

Yet, I love my period, because it's one of those things that make me feel part of the nature.


That's it.

Thank you for being with me and of course I would love to hear Sameer opinion as well.

Love,

AV (I wish I could sign with my name!)

I am so amazed by your attention that I feel like I would say that I love you, I feel like I want to cry for the joy.

I'm in your hands, beloved doctors, I'll be waiting for a prescription.

Thank you for taking care of me.

I would hug you if you were here!