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hmm.. something new

I looked over pictures from europe, various countries and today they looked really beautifull and reminded me of the past. the cities, the culture. It made me feel like that is were I belong. I need to get back there. There is were I can feel good. I always loved the winters there. I should leave this god forsaken country I am in, where I cannot connect or identify with much.

I dreamed tonight of a girl I liked many many years ago in my old country. She also came to my house and I did not want her to see my parents. I always felt embarassed for my parents. DOnt know why exactly. SOmething is embarrassing about it.
 
  starface on 2012-02-08
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
in the dream also someone turned on the light at the toilet and was going to pass stool or something. And I did not like that when I was outside the house and the girl asked me what is this room the got just lit up by light and feared she might find out this is the toilet. Something embarassing about this again.
 
starface last decade
The house I lived in wasnt really good looking either. And embarrassing, felt uncomfortable someone finding out
 
starface last decade
I hate being egoistic & negative because than I am exactly what I dont want to be but there is no culture, there is nothing in the country I am in.

I dont know whether this has something to do with the tarantula, or the fine movie I watched yesterday night or maybe a bit of both.

A few years ago I used to watch many movies just like now because they made me feel great and alive or experience something at least.

.. I noticed how I can sense/feel the air I breath in.

This is a bit confusing. I feel the tarantula obviously working in some way. And it was only 200c potency. But I also notice myself getting kind of high standards and becoming finer, etc. Platina does not even interest me anymore. I look down on it. It is just a braggart and nothing more who lives an isolated life.


Anyway there is no rush. THink I am going to stay with tarantula for awhile. despite getting cannabis indica today. I dont feel the rush. I am pretty sure my remedy lies around tarantula, maybe platina, cannabis indica or thuja.
 
starface last decade
well the pictures of europe looking really beautifull today to me must have to do with tarantula, with chest feeling much better. Otherwise this would not happen.
 
starface last decade

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