The ABC Homeopathy Forum
will try again for prescription
btw yesterday I did not play video game at all, and the days before that not much compared to before. Which is a good thing. i contribute this to tarantula,- i got interested in lac leo because of the description I read about it. But I wont make a fuss about it. And I never dreamed about lions or cats anyway.
But theres something that I like about it. draws me to it
I also read description about lions life. How young lions are often thrown out of the group and have to survive on their own. Which seemed pretty 'not nice' to me at all. I see this 'being alone' away from group as in being in pain, time speeding up because not feeling safe by not being in a group or by not having social contact. and just feel sympathy for anyone who would be in such situation. This should not happen, noone should be on their own like that
[message edited by starface on Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:18:48 GMT]
starface on 2012-02-13
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
I will describe following situation believing that it might be useful.
How I reacted when my parents were away for a few days and my brother came home late and had his group of friends + a girl with him.
First of all I feel bad for this reaction coz I know its a bad one, a low one. I should not react like that, but be unaffected by such thing. Not let myself be bothered by such thing because this reaction is a low one and reveals to people how low I might be?? I feel bad about myself when I just notice this low reaction in me. Has nothing to do with people seeing it or not. I try to control it and keep it hidden, but I feel too offended by the offence that I have to let my anger be seen anyway. (cannot control it and keep it hidden)
So problem was about how this was a disrespect to me, as if I dont exist. That when parents not at home that he might think he can do whatever he likes. He is not supposed to come late and dare bringing a girl at home even. He is supposed to be afraid of what I will think and that I might ridicule him for bringing a girl home (thats the ugly truth). If he does not care about this anymore and will bring a girl home without a problem I am dead. It means he doesnt care about what I think of him anymore, it means he has gotten above me (gotten better than me) by bringing a girl home and not caring. Which is something I cannot do, I have a problem with it, because I fear ridicule. I see what bad person I am and this bothers me. I dont want to be like the people who were bad to me, but at the same time I feel like I wont count anymore or not exist, dead if my brother can do something I cannot. I dont care much about anything. About what kind of car, material things, friends one has. Not territorial about such things much. But about girls this always bothered me to such great degree. As long as brother does not dare bringing a girl home and cares about what I think I still exist and matter. I am not treated like air.
There was also problem about how by bringing friends home and he did not say anything to me, like I dont exist in the house. They made a mess downstairs. It made me feel really low or inferior. How they are doing this in the house I am in, where I am the oldest upstairs and they behave as if I am not at home. They should not do such things and act as if I dont exist in the house. They should have a bit of fear, or reluctance to stay in the house when I am in my house. Not act as if I am not even in the house and do whatever they want that is the problem. Affects my ego I guess.
The moment I noticed my anger and ego I had a problem with myself and felt totally ugly and looked myself in the mirror thinking what kind of snake or whatever kind of ugly egoistic creature I am. I just saw this ugly egoistic head in the mirror. I cannot describe the feeling. Just maybe this ugliness and bad side exposed to me. This drunk, high or intoxicated, ugly evil ego.
I read about snake remedies, all kinds of remedies who have no problem with their egoizem, their quest to get the top spot by hook or crook. Manipulations, etc. Why do I feel such way, in this very ugly way whenever I am egoistic . Ie when I notice I am being like a devil because my brother might bring a girl home. I feel totally despicable and cannot even stand looking at myself when I feel this ugly egoizem. Noone can ever like me when I am like that. I dont want this to be ever seen. I will not be the person I want to be if I am like that. And people will think less of me when I present myself like that, egoistic.
So I wonder based on this whether I am one of those ugly animals or not. Because when I read about them ugly egoistic animals they dont care about their ugly side. They dont care about being egoistic or how it makes them look,
egoisem = a hinderance. egoisem always means being low. People often feel good when they are egoistic, but i dont or very very rarely because of what egoizem means to me. It is also ugly ego that makes people go away from me. I Dont want that.
[message edited by starface on Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:32:32 GMT]
How I reacted when my parents were away for a few days and my brother came home late and had his group of friends + a girl with him.
First of all I feel bad for this reaction coz I know its a bad one, a low one. I should not react like that, but be unaffected by such thing. Not let myself be bothered by such thing because this reaction is a low one and reveals to people how low I might be?? I feel bad about myself when I just notice this low reaction in me. Has nothing to do with people seeing it or not. I try to control it and keep it hidden, but I feel too offended by the offence that I have to let my anger be seen anyway. (cannot control it and keep it hidden)
So problem was about how this was a disrespect to me, as if I dont exist. That when parents not at home that he might think he can do whatever he likes. He is not supposed to come late and dare bringing a girl at home even. He is supposed to be afraid of what I will think and that I might ridicule him for bringing a girl home (thats the ugly truth). If he does not care about this anymore and will bring a girl home without a problem I am dead. It means he doesnt care about what I think of him anymore, it means he has gotten above me (gotten better than me) by bringing a girl home and not caring. Which is something I cannot do, I have a problem with it, because I fear ridicule. I see what bad person I am and this bothers me. I dont want to be like the people who were bad to me, but at the same time I feel like I wont count anymore or not exist, dead if my brother can do something I cannot. I dont care much about anything. About what kind of car, material things, friends one has. Not territorial about such things much. But about girls this always bothered me to such great degree. As long as brother does not dare bringing a girl home and cares about what I think I still exist and matter. I am not treated like air.
There was also problem about how by bringing friends home and he did not say anything to me, like I dont exist in the house. They made a mess downstairs. It made me feel really low or inferior. How they are doing this in the house I am in, where I am the oldest upstairs and they behave as if I am not at home. They should not do such things and act as if I dont exist in the house. They should have a bit of fear, or reluctance to stay in the house when I am in my house. Not act as if I am not even in the house and do whatever they want that is the problem. Affects my ego I guess.
The moment I noticed my anger and ego I had a problem with myself and felt totally ugly and looked myself in the mirror thinking what kind of snake or whatever kind of ugly egoistic creature I am. I just saw this ugly egoistic head in the mirror. I cannot describe the feeling. Just maybe this ugliness and bad side exposed to me. This drunk, high or intoxicated, ugly evil ego.
I read about snake remedies, all kinds of remedies who have no problem with their egoizem, their quest to get the top spot by hook or crook. Manipulations, etc. Why do I feel such way, in this very ugly way whenever I am egoistic . Ie when I notice I am being like a devil because my brother might bring a girl home. I feel totally despicable and cannot even stand looking at myself when I feel this ugly egoizem. Noone can ever like me when I am like that. I dont want this to be ever seen. I will not be the person I want to be if I am like that. And people will think less of me when I present myself like that, egoistic.
So I wonder based on this whether I am one of those ugly animals or not. Because when I read about them ugly egoistic animals they dont care about their ugly side. They dont care about being egoistic or how it makes them look,
egoisem = a hinderance. egoisem always means being low. People often feel good when they are egoistic, but i dont or very very rarely because of what egoizem means to me. It is also ugly ego that makes people go away from me. I Dont want that.
[message edited by starface on Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:32:32 GMT]
starface last decade
at least could I know whether this could be anything but animal? yes or not.
And platina would never react in such way??? so I know
And platina would never react in such way??? so I know
starface last decade
You just don't get it. Not at all. You have no idea what you are talking about.
You don't even realise that you have so corrupted your own expressions by rabbiting on about the things you read, things not intended for patients but for practitioners, that nobody could work this out for you.
I have told you why you are ruining your chances at being healed by a homoeopath, but like some kind of capricious child you just do it more and more, then blame everyone around you for things not working out.
You really better clean up your game. I feel sorry for the homeopath who eventually gets you - their job will be so hopeless complicated by all the rubbish you are spewing. Pseudohomoeopathy, psuedopsychology, pseudosociology - you are the worst kind of patient anyone gets. All tangled up in intellectualization of your case, lack of responisibility for what you do, and so busy talking about remedy pictures that you have destroyed any hope of hearing the truth.
What a total mess. You better be saving up your money, because I suspect only one of the great masters could sort this chaos out. And they charge thousands of dollars for their services.
Maybe when you pay for your therapy, you will stop interfering and self-prescribing. You might actually put some value on what we do then and treat it with respect instead of this foolish game you are currently engaged in.
You don't even realise that you have so corrupted your own expressions by rabbiting on about the things you read, things not intended for patients but for practitioners, that nobody could work this out for you.
I have told you why you are ruining your chances at being healed by a homoeopath, but like some kind of capricious child you just do it more and more, then blame everyone around you for things not working out.
You really better clean up your game. I feel sorry for the homeopath who eventually gets you - their job will be so hopeless complicated by all the rubbish you are spewing. Pseudohomoeopathy, psuedopsychology, pseudosociology - you are the worst kind of patient anyone gets. All tangled up in intellectualization of your case, lack of responisibility for what you do, and so busy talking about remedy pictures that you have destroyed any hope of hearing the truth.
What a total mess. You better be saving up your money, because I suspect only one of the great masters could sort this chaos out. And they charge thousands of dollars for their services.
Maybe when you pay for your therapy, you will stop interfering and self-prescribing. You might actually put some value on what we do then and treat it with respect instead of this foolish game you are currently engaged in.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
what?
No I am not corrupting things. Saying how I feel the problem is.
The thing how it bothered me about my brother, how I feel when I am egoistic and the idea of being a snake are worries that come up.
even though I have been reading about lions, thuja etc I described it how it is. Even though I would hate to be a snake remedy.
I dont think I am in bad state. I learned that corruption doesnt lead anywhere. And that remedies who I might be certain of being me does not mean they are. So I am not even to fixed on such things as I used to be.
I payed for own treatment, or well my parents did and the woman left me. I said it was my fault. That I was bad, which I was, but why she left exactly was a misunderstanding.
No I am not corrupting things. Saying how I feel the problem is.
The thing how it bothered me about my brother, how I feel when I am egoistic and the idea of being a snake are worries that come up.
even though I have been reading about lions, thuja etc I described it how it is. Even though I would hate to be a snake remedy.
I dont think I am in bad state. I learned that corruption doesnt lead anywhere. And that remedies who I might be certain of being me does not mean they are. So I am not even to fixed on such things as I used to be.
I payed for own treatment, or well my parents did and the woman left me. I said it was my fault. That I was bad, which I was, but why she left exactly was a misunderstanding.
starface last decade
No you are not. You spend most of your time, talking about remedies, prescriptions, groups, kingdoms, miasms, provings, aggravations, delusions. Your catch cry is 'Tell me what remedy I am!' This is the completely wrong attitude. The only thing that matters is understanding the problem. Only then can a remedy be matched to it. You spend so much time trying to get a magic remedy, you are corrupting all the information that might help someone. Today you are Tarentula, Tomorrow you are Baryta carb, the next day you are god knows what. Even if you were a homoeopath that would be the worst possible way to be presenting your case. Any homoeopath worth their salt would be telling you talk like a real person or get out.
Your whole case is full of other people's ideas. Every prescription relies on subtle differences in meanings, relies on spontaneous expression of source language, and you are just parroting a whole lot of stuff you have no business reading when you are so sick. You are completely fixated on the Sensation method, or on Sankaran's old delusion method. Who knows if you even need those methods - there are lots of other ways to approach a case. You have manufactured an artifical case that it will be almost impossible for someone to penetrate to the truth underneath. You seem to think that spouting other people's ideas is somehow relevent to your case, but it is just irrelevent intellectualisation. The worst, the absolute worst way to present yourself.
You think I am being inhuman, witholding treatment from you, that I am somehow victimizing you (which is only your delusion), but I am trying to help you. Stop this. Nobody can help you like this. Nobody will want to. You are flailing around, obviously desperate, but you are destroying your chances.
So you actually paid for that last homoeopath you did this to, and you still did it?? I guess that must have been easier since it was someone else's money. Perhaps when you have to spend your own money on it it will have more value to you, and you will stop abusing the privilage.
Your whole case is full of other people's ideas. Every prescription relies on subtle differences in meanings, relies on spontaneous expression of source language, and you are just parroting a whole lot of stuff you have no business reading when you are so sick. You are completely fixated on the Sensation method, or on Sankaran's old delusion method. Who knows if you even need those methods - there are lots of other ways to approach a case. You have manufactured an artifical case that it will be almost impossible for someone to penetrate to the truth underneath. You seem to think that spouting other people's ideas is somehow relevent to your case, but it is just irrelevent intellectualisation. The worst, the absolute worst way to present yourself.
You think I am being inhuman, witholding treatment from you, that I am somehow victimizing you (which is only your delusion), but I am trying to help you. Stop this. Nobody can help you like this. Nobody will want to. You are flailing around, obviously desperate, but you are destroying your chances.
So you actually paid for that last homoeopath you did this to, and you still did it?? I guess that must have been easier since it was someone else's money. Perhaps when you have to spend your own money on it it will have more value to you, and you will stop abusing the privilage.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
ok I believe you all.
life very difficult, when alone for so many years and neglected, trying to overcome problems. I want to be liked but I am an annoying person.
life very difficult, when alone for so many years and neglected, trying to overcome problems. I want to be liked but I am an annoying person.
starface last decade
She left me because she thought I just admitted to lieing to her about my symptoms (why would I do that?) if I desperately want to get better. All I did was say to her that I am not sure about my symptoms, that they could be wrong. And she took that as lieing. She also said that I already sent her 3 emails that day which was apparently wrong too.
And I argued about being lycopodium often, ok what can I do, it was bad from me.
And I argued about being lycopodium often, ok what can I do, it was bad from me.
starface last decade
I know exactly what you did to her. You already told me this story. But I can see that you prefer to lie about that too, to paint yourself as the victim (again).
If you are going to continue to create adversarial relationships with homoeopaths, how the heck do you think you are ever going to get treatment? You need the homoeopath, and you need to have a good relationship with them. You abuse their trust, deceive them, betray them - what do you think is going to happen? Do you even bother to think about that?
Wise up. I would swear you are deliberately sabotaging every therapeutic relationship you have with a homoeopath so you can stay sick. And the way you stick with them and then torture them, harass them, it is like you need to destroy the relationship completely.
[message edited by brisbanehomoeopath on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 03:38:40 GMT]
If you are going to continue to create adversarial relationships with homoeopaths, how the heck do you think you are ever going to get treatment? You need the homoeopath, and you need to have a good relationship with them. You abuse their trust, deceive them, betray them - what do you think is going to happen? Do you even bother to think about that?
Wise up. I would swear you are deliberately sabotaging every therapeutic relationship you have with a homoeopath so you can stay sick. And the way you stick with them and then torture them, harass them, it is like you need to destroy the relationship completely.
[message edited by brisbanehomoeopath on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 03:38:40 GMT]
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
that is the true story.
I said that I was not an angel with her. By my arguing and making it difficult for her to treat me. This was bad from me. What usually happens than is that something that is unjust really happens to me, like the misunderstanding and I get fixed on that and feel the victim there. Because I feel victimized by it, since it was true unjust to me. But maybe I deserved it since I was bad before.
She gave me 10 reasons why she quit. And some were true, some where misunderstandings. But she blocked me and I could not even try explain it. Than I cried about it and told her how sorry I feel and guilty with getting reply that my emotional scars are to deep for homeopathy. THat I need astral healing, that I am posessed. I cannot describe how bad this made me feel and anxious. Here I was looking to be taken back, accepted, but what I got was the opposite that I am beyond help. this made me feel worse than before. More distanced
Maybe I get fixated on the unjust done to me always.
I am not a slefish person. Ok. I am only one that even ever apologised to my father.
Now that you talk to me again I could not even take treatment from george vithoulukas if he offered help because I would think it would hurt you and make you feel not good enough. the bad feelings would stay with me every minute so I could not do it.
but i have a problem when someone helps me. At the begining all good and fresh, but after awhile emptiness. Or I am not getting enough of something. This creates problems and selfishness. drama. sabotaging as you call it. it feels so bad. All the same old. nothing leading anywhere. nothing changing. It makes me bad, unabalanced, egoistic, dramatic. and when relationship looks bad, that it ended I all of a sudden want it again.
this is a strange problem. very unpleasant feelings when it gets to the same old phase, and not getting enough. I start creating trouble than.
I do feel guilt often. but i dont have much self control.
I like to talk about whatever I do, when I do something bad, ie take a remedy because it gives me attention I think. I like to be transparent, because rarely people are like that and it provokes interest in people who might as a result like me or get interested in me. I am just so needy. yet dont like relationships to be long because I dont get enough of something and it dont feel good after ahwhile
I dont know what more to say. That i feel sorry. It is a problem and dont know what to do about it. the same thing happens with remedies I loose interest quick often.
I hated going away from tarantula because I liked the idea of being a mishievious slippery playfull spider as an identity, and going to cannabis, a plant, there was nothing good about it, no qualities I could really identify with. BUt so I wished to stay with spider for that reason, but I could not feel it anymore. I have taken the spider, and the interest has gone now. I cannot feel it or identify with the spider (tarantula) anymore.
I could not feel the spider anymore. because I have been with it for awhile. I tried to get excited about it but could not. So cannbis and because I do have problem with control to a great degree.
[message edited by starface on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 04:02:54 GMT]
I said that I was not an angel with her. By my arguing and making it difficult for her to treat me. This was bad from me. What usually happens than is that something that is unjust really happens to me, like the misunderstanding and I get fixed on that and feel the victim there. Because I feel victimized by it, since it was true unjust to me. But maybe I deserved it since I was bad before.
She gave me 10 reasons why she quit. And some were true, some where misunderstandings. But she blocked me and I could not even try explain it. Than I cried about it and told her how sorry I feel and guilty with getting reply that my emotional scars are to deep for homeopathy. THat I need astral healing, that I am posessed. I cannot describe how bad this made me feel and anxious. Here I was looking to be taken back, accepted, but what I got was the opposite that I am beyond help. this made me feel worse than before. More distanced
Maybe I get fixated on the unjust done to me always.
I am not a slefish person. Ok. I am only one that even ever apologised to my father.
Now that you talk to me again I could not even take treatment from george vithoulukas if he offered help because I would think it would hurt you and make you feel not good enough. the bad feelings would stay with me every minute so I could not do it.
but i have a problem when someone helps me. At the begining all good and fresh, but after awhile emptiness. Or I am not getting enough of something. This creates problems and selfishness. drama. sabotaging as you call it. it feels so bad. All the same old. nothing leading anywhere. nothing changing. It makes me bad, unabalanced, egoistic, dramatic. and when relationship looks bad, that it ended I all of a sudden want it again.
this is a strange problem. very unpleasant feelings when it gets to the same old phase, and not getting enough. I start creating trouble than.
I do feel guilt often. but i dont have much self control.
I like to talk about whatever I do, when I do something bad, ie take a remedy because it gives me attention I think. I like to be transparent, because rarely people are like that and it provokes interest in people who might as a result like me or get interested in me. I am just so needy. yet dont like relationships to be long because I dont get enough of something and it dont feel good after ahwhile
I dont know what more to say. That i feel sorry. It is a problem and dont know what to do about it. the same thing happens with remedies I loose interest quick often.
I hated going away from tarantula because I liked the idea of being a mishievious slippery playfull spider as an identity, and going to cannabis, a plant, there was nothing good about it, no qualities I could really identify with. BUt so I wished to stay with spider for that reason, but I could not feel it anymore. I have taken the spider, and the interest has gone now. I cannot feel it or identify with the spider (tarantula) anymore.
I could not feel the spider anymore. because I have been with it for awhile. I tried to get excited about it but could not. So cannbis and because I do have problem with control to a great degree.
[message edited by starface on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 04:02:54 GMT]
starface last decade
you seem my only help because you do this for free. The other homeopaths who do it for money they dont bother anymore once they decided to quit. than it is over.
I cannot imagine anyone being able to cure me from the ones who do it for money.
Thanks for reading my posts again.
I cannot imagine anyone being able to cure me from the ones who do it for money.
Thanks for reading my posts again.
starface last decade
when I see a beautiful girl online like on dating sites etc. I either feel bad because she is better looking or I really want her, to have her. I breath a sigh of relief when I check out dating sites and see no girl looking beautfiull or better than me. BUt if I do than pain from not able to have her and because she might be better looking than me
[message edited by starface on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 04:07:21 GMT]
[message edited by starface on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 04:07:21 GMT]
starface last decade
And I am very attracted to girls who are very feminine. This feminine energy and pretty face some girls have. Phew it makes me so weak and I could drop everything in that moment. What I mean is sometimes I have plan to do something at home when I get home,like play a video game or watch a movie and if I see such girl before on the street. My whole mindset changes about what I want to do. Then I am unable to stay inside the house and play a video game or watch a movie.
This is quite strange, the effect this has on me. How it can change instantly. How I have desire to play video game always but a girl can make me averse to it instantly and bring up the feelings of what is really important, or what I really want.
I really crave girls. They like my appearance or used to like it, dont know anymore since many things have changed. So they liked my appearance and gave me attention in the past but as a person they would not like me, find me boring, uninteresting I think.
[message edited by starface on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 04:18:44 GMT]
This is quite strange, the effect this has on me. How it can change instantly. How I have desire to play video game always but a girl can make me averse to it instantly and bring up the feelings of what is really important, or what I really want.
I really crave girls. They like my appearance or used to like it, dont know anymore since many things have changed. So they liked my appearance and gave me attention in the past but as a person they would not like me, find me boring, uninteresting I think.
[message edited by starface on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 04:18:44 GMT]
starface last decade
I am trying to talk to you about the problems that stop you from getting proper treatment, and you just keep trying to make me take your case. And you keep offering the most ludicrous reasons for not seeking help. If you continue down this path then I agree with her - you are beyond help, certainly beyond the help of homoeopathy.
You continue to play deaf. You think a remedy will fix this. But nobody can ever find that remedy because of the way you behave. So you will never get it, never get cured, not because the homoeopath won't give it to you, but because you make it too difficult for anyone to find it.
So man up. This is your responsibility to fix it. Don't wreck every relationship you have with a homoeopath. The most important thing is that relationship. We are not machines you can just plug in and spew out remedy names. We are not performing animals you can just expect to perform tricks for you. You treat us with disrespect then you will not get the compassion, the care and the committment necessary to do the work needed. Homoeopaths are not like your family, that you can just mistreat them and expect them to always be there. The world doesn't work that way. Either you learn to communicate honestly, be upfront about your actions, and show some respect for the professional that you have asked to help you, or you can remain lost just like you are now.
You have already damaged our therapeutic relationship beyond repair. I am not interested in ever going through this with you. At best we can have a conversation about practice (but not materica medica or dosing) although I will always be wary of giving you amuniton for self-prescribing. You will need to start over with someone else. It is ENTIRELY up to you how you manage it this time.
What I am offering you is insight into how you damage those relationships. What you keep trying to offer me is excuses why it is not your fault, or a variety of guilt-producing strategies aimed at making me do what you want.
You continue to play deaf. You think a remedy will fix this. But nobody can ever find that remedy because of the way you behave. So you will never get it, never get cured, not because the homoeopath won't give it to you, but because you make it too difficult for anyone to find it.
So man up. This is your responsibility to fix it. Don't wreck every relationship you have with a homoeopath. The most important thing is that relationship. We are not machines you can just plug in and spew out remedy names. We are not performing animals you can just expect to perform tricks for you. You treat us with disrespect then you will not get the compassion, the care and the committment necessary to do the work needed. Homoeopaths are not like your family, that you can just mistreat them and expect them to always be there. The world doesn't work that way. Either you learn to communicate honestly, be upfront about your actions, and show some respect for the professional that you have asked to help you, or you can remain lost just like you are now.
You have already damaged our therapeutic relationship beyond repair. I am not interested in ever going through this with you. At best we can have a conversation about practice (but not materica medica or dosing) although I will always be wary of giving you amuniton for self-prescribing. You will need to start over with someone else. It is ENTIRELY up to you how you manage it this time.
What I am offering you is insight into how you damage those relationships. What you keep trying to offer me is excuses why it is not your fault, or a variety of guilt-producing strategies aimed at making me do what you want.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
hmmmmmmmm not what I had expected, but I knew it. WOuld be to good to be true.
I felt again this uncomfortablness in chest when I reveal to much vulnerable, emotional things about me. Such aversion to open the thread and read the reply I got to it when I see I got a reply, out of fear that something unpleasant might have been posted in response to that last post of mine. I hate this problem.
I am feeling guilty for the long responses you write to me. Maybe it isnt guilt and just fear of getting hurt? That is called pseudo guilt I think. I also feel maniuplative I think.
This all tough what you suggest. I am to unhealthy. to unbalanced. I feel I dont get enough, so how can I stay 'normal' in therapeutic relationship. How can I respect when I feel angry from not getting enough. I also feel dissapointment very quick. I also feel it for other people. Like when paki1 got veratum prescribed, I felt like he wished, expected to get platina prescribed. So I felt like paki1 might feel uncomfortablness from the dissapointment. If that happened face to face I would not be able to see that dissapointment on someones face. I am emotionaly weak.
I can only go so far. To see my bad behaviors. not more. In real life I am not having desire to throw myself at anyone. or have social contact. I dont want it. The fear is greater. And socializing is no joy in real life.
I could not even record myself as in a video and show it to someone. THis only way. Because only words are seen of me, not ugly voice, depressed expression etc etc
i was just told by brother because I constantly hide everything in a second on my desktop (minimize all windows) when someone comes into my room that I am the most secretive person he knows. but what does he expect that I am going to show him what I am doing and my posts lol. That would be embarassing. and I would get hurt and ridiculed
I felt again this uncomfortablness in chest when I reveal to much vulnerable, emotional things about me. Such aversion to open the thread and read the reply I got to it when I see I got a reply, out of fear that something unpleasant might have been posted in response to that last post of mine. I hate this problem.
I am feeling guilty for the long responses you write to me. Maybe it isnt guilt and just fear of getting hurt? That is called pseudo guilt I think. I also feel maniuplative I think.
This all tough what you suggest. I am to unhealthy. to unbalanced. I feel I dont get enough, so how can I stay 'normal' in therapeutic relationship. How can I respect when I feel angry from not getting enough. I also feel dissapointment very quick. I also feel it for other people. Like when paki1 got veratum prescribed, I felt like he wished, expected to get platina prescribed. So I felt like paki1 might feel uncomfortablness from the dissapointment. If that happened face to face I would not be able to see that dissapointment on someones face. I am emotionaly weak.
I can only go so far. To see my bad behaviors. not more. In real life I am not having desire to throw myself at anyone. or have social contact. I dont want it. The fear is greater. And socializing is no joy in real life.
I could not even record myself as in a video and show it to someone. THis only way. Because only words are seen of me, not ugly voice, depressed expression etc etc
i was just told by brother because I constantly hide everything in a second on my desktop (minimize all windows) when someone comes into my room that I am the most secretive person he knows. but what does he expect that I am going to show him what I am doing and my posts lol. That would be embarassing. and I would get hurt and ridiculed
starface last decade
maybe he and family are already reading posts of me anyway.
If that happened and they said this to me I would want the ground to swallow me.
[message edited by starface on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 06:21:51 GMT]
If that happened and they said this to me I would want the ground to swallow me.
[message edited by starface on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 06:21:51 GMT]
starface last decade
I just read the 'Homosexual mind' thread and glad to hear it is just disease in some cases, which I think something similar happened with me. I sent in email to you what I did sometimes at night and happy this stopped with platina. Sometimes I also did sexual self seeking that involved 'womans clothes' (lol). I dont know what this was about. I was just thinking of sex a lo. And getting turned on by many things
This stopped thankfully. When bdd started, and deep depression came when I had this huge task some things changed about me. And sexually i had no boundaries. which were always kind of weak. But I still did not do anything that could have been terrible but very embarrassing if found out
[message edited by starface on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 06:29:16 GMT]
This stopped thankfully. When bdd started, and deep depression came when I had this huge task some things changed about me. And sexually i had no boundaries. which were always kind of weak. But I still did not do anything that could have been terrible but very embarrassing if found out
[message edited by starface on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 06:29:16 GMT]
starface last decade
To post a reply, you must first LOG ON or Register
Important
Information given in this forum is given by way of exchange of views only, and those views are not necessarily those of ABC Homeopathy. It is not to be treated as a medical diagnosis or prescription, and should not be used as a substitute for a consultation with a qualified homeopath or physician. It is possible that advice given here may be dangerous, and you should make your own checks that it is safe. If symptoms persist, seek professional medical attention. Bear in mind that even minor symptoms can be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, and a timely diagnosis by your doctor could save your life.