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Please help, feel as if I am controlled by some higher power

Hello everyone,

I need some help big time right now as I don't have anyone else with whom I can speak about this. I feel as if I am controlled by some higher power and my fate is somehow being controlled and I can't do what I want to do and be free with my own will! A while ago I had some crazy experiences while I was TRIPPING! from an arg nitricum overdose.

That Arg N is no joke. I had some very horrible experiences with that remedy that landed me in the hospital a few times.

So while I was in the Arg N stage, I had a conversation with some one and from what I remember something happened to where it was like I had signed away my free will to submit to the will of Jesus Christ. Honestly, this though is KILLING ME! and for some reason now it seems that anything that I do is in a sense controlled by some higher power. To the point where even my thoughts are starting to be shaped, but it's very VERY LIMITING! and FRUSTRATING to say the least.

I have kind of become somewhat of a hermit at my parents house. I am seriously so scared of my parents and the world honestly because my parents threatened me so many times and so violently with putting me in the hospital if I don't take their zombie drugs. I hate those drugs, they make me feel so heavy and nasty. It was horrible man, the way my parents threatened me with calling the paramedics. I have had that experience happen before and it was NOT!!! nice. To be forced into the hospital, given incredibly nasty injections that had me so screwed up! It was horrible. I am a very very sensitive person and I don't even need to take a very high dosage of any remedy to be affected. For example, a few days ago, I just THOUGHT of Arg N, and meditated on it, and once again, I started to have the symptoms of Arg N. I did however manage to control these feelings and thoughts though NATRIUM MURIATICUM!!! It was great! I wasn't able to sleep whatsoever but Nat M helped a lot! Antidote.

SO basically it's this, I have some crazy thoughts going through my head that I am manipulated in some way by a higher force and secondly, I am afraid to speak out and make myself heard because I fear that whatever I will say on the outside will change on me. For example. If someone asks me if I am Happy, and I say YES! the next thing I know is that I will be sad. or Angry.

HELP ME PLEASE! PLEASE HELP
 
  BlueOcean on 2013-04-05
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