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suffering states of de-realization please help

hello,
i really don't know what's happened to me and need some advice if you could help. approximatly 2 yrs ago i had my first panic attack when out with friends, never had such a terrifying experience. i didnt know what it was so put it down to being hungover as i had been out the night before. im 24 yrs old now and for the last 2 yrs ive had so many panic attacks ive actually been diagnosed with panic disorder. after all sorts of tests i now feel happy that i'm not dying of a brain tumor / heart disease and i'm currently on anti-depressants which are working well. i had councelling for a while and started cbt theropy but became more ill and just stopped going as i couldnt even get out of my house to go. ive come so far but not a day goes past that i dont think about dying. i get these feeling of unreality that come from knowhere and i feel like im attached from my body!! this has got to be the worst feeling in the world, i feel disabled. nobody even knows how i feel apart from the doctors as dont want to burden my family. councelling said i had issues from the past i need to deal with but dont even know what they could be, ive been brought up well in a loving home although i did lose my mum at the age of 9 which still hurts. im the "heart and soul" of the party as some have said and feeling this way is crippling me. ive just come out of a 5 year relationship as it wasnt forfilling me, ive made positive changes in my life to make me happier but this de realization is hitting me hard. what can i do?? please please can u help me?? i want to be normal again.
 
  mike05 on 2005-09-18
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
I'd like to be ""normal"" but have yet to find out what that is!

Taking anti depressants will make the problem worse -- until they put you on such a high dose that you dont know or feel anything.

Have you had any antibiotic treatment for an inflammatory condition in the last 12 months -- or have you had any treatment for eczema or a skin condition in the same period.
 
walkin last decade

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