Please help me, I'm on the edge of the cliff...

Really I've tried to search for good homeopaths but, sincerely, I don't feel them capable of helping me, maybe it's my perception, but I've seen them too focused in the body, speaking about physical problems.

Yes, they were doctors too, and they always wanted to start with some kind of anti depressant, and, I truly know this world (I've been taking allopatic drugs) and I know that my problem is in my very soul, they'll achieve nothing if they don't even believe me in that subject.

I've been reading about homeopathy for years and, some years ago, I tried it also for psychological problems that derived from the divorce of my parents, etc... and I improved.

The other time, I was helped by a friend of mine, that was homeopath, but mostly I found by myself the right treatment, but now... I don't have even strengths to search for anything, my mind is full of fog and I cannot concentrate in anything without start crying, so, it's impossible for me to help myself this time.

So, do you think I may give a try to Natrium? at which potency? here is very difficult to find more than 200ch, but I could try if you recommend it...
[message edited by elhaim on Wed, 21 Aug 2013 21:53:31 BST]

Ok, I've completed it... please excuse me for my english again, it were a lot to write and I couldn't pay much attention to the forms.

Thanks again for everything!

Rishimba has designed a very good Questionnaire (Set of Questions) for case taking. He designed this long back. i have been using these questions whenever i think that full case taking is needed.

These questions are designed to get the following information from the patient
1. Mental State of the patient
2. Physical Ailments
3. The likely cause for above problems
4. The modalities like whether the patient feels well or worse in hot weather, cold weather etc., he is relieved by / worsenened by hot applications, cold applications etc.

i also thank Rishimba for designing such wonderful tool for case taking. i can also understand the hard work that he has done for desiging these questions.

Patients can use this questionnaire for submitting their cases. The effectiveness of remedy selection is directly proportional to the details provided by the patient while replying these questions.

Patient ID: Sex: Age:

Male, 35 years old. 1,85cm, 81Kg.


1. Describe your main suffering?

My main suffering in this life is about being betrayed for those who I love most. I have a very big capacity to love, unfortunately I only know to do it by focusing all my love into a single person, it seems like I don’t have myself a way to get love from myself or from God (I really believe in spirit, I don’t have a concrete religión but I deeply feel that the universe is full of life and we are here to learn), so I need to feel the love of someone, in that moment I'm able to give the best of me, to fight for my dreams, to be strong, to feel peace...

But, in the moment I loose my very only path for feel love (to non-believers, let's say 'love for myself', to beleivers I'd prefer God's love) I fall into a so deep pain that few people can believe me when they ask about the grade of it.
When I've had a couple and I've had been able to start loving her, I never could do such a damage to the person that is sharing the way with me...

Sometimes I have had temptations to put and end to a relation, and, when I see the sorrow in her eyes, I cannot stand it, really, is stronger than me and I find the way to fall in love again if the problem were that we lost the 'magic' or to help her in making the proper changes when she was, for example, being excessively possesive or whatever obstacle we had to pass through.
And nobody know how I feel when, the same person I've been given opportunities one after another, trying to heal their old wounds, that woman that it took too many time and efforts from my part to raise her self-steem, that one whom I have poured over all my energies, some day, without any special happening, cold like the ice, say to me 'ok, this is over, we cannot take more one from another'... To give an example, to a very religious people is like God said to them that he doesn't love them any more, without a justification, when, maybe one week before, she was talking to me about having children and how she will love me forever.

I really... cannot beleive how can a person change their feelings so fast... with no errors been made, when nobody is between us, is just always the same (actually two big times but it ended exactly the same way).

I start to feel that there's something wrong with me, maybe I've something that I don't deserve love, I feel it like a curse, or if being a nice person at high degrees make the other take all from you and one you are exhausted, they just leave.

The only conclusion to which I come is that they never really loved me, because, if they just, don't care and show no mercy, it's not possible that you've loved that person...
I'm afraid that I can't be loved and, for me is so important, that is a matter of life or death, I'm wainting till know but I am really deep wounded, and after every crash, I feel more weak, and more tired, and I don't recover from it like the others... for me it take years without being able to feel like searching again... all I can do is cry and prey because is just not fair... when I feel weak, like they felt many times and they had me always and their side, the just leave my usually when I'm passing through difficulties.

Lately I've discovered another thing, that, such degree of pain, paralyzes me completely and I'm not more able to be productive, to think, to write, to create... and more and more I think it's 'big branch' of the problem, when I get to feel enough energy to continue my life, I feel great improvement, but normally the sensations almost make me useless, and I am aware of it, in fact, I'm too aware of everything, and I know that this problem is taking me to the worst place, for being unable to make and plan a future for me. I feel all my dreams broken, both emotional and my career.

2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?

Nothing too serious I think... I lost my left ear (the audition not the skin) from meassels when I was 7-8 years ago, and I've haven't heard anything from my left ear since then.

I think I also suffer from irritable-bowel disease, but from time to time, not in a permanent way.

I caught Mononucleosis, the Epstein-Barr Virus that attacks the liver, not a serious condition, usually it takes you 2-3 weeks to heal, but, in my case, there were 4 full months having very high fever every day, like 12h a day with 38 to 40 degrees. I remember feeling terribly tired, it took me much efforts to continue that academic year but, after all, I made it with high califications.

This was when I were 15-16 years old and it really took me dawn, from this moment I usually feel tired without explanation and I pass through moments of demotivation and a really hard lack of energy in every level of my live.

It's less and less often as times goes by, know I feel it maybe every 3 months and I need a week or so to recover myself, usually it comes after a cold or a anything that puts my defenses under stress.

At the beginning I had many of my Lymph Nodes indurated and swollen, but with the time they've been taking their normal consistency.

Another thing that it's relatively new is that, from my first rupture, it makes to me hard to make pee, I often have to sit down and wait some minutes for it to come. When I'm emotionally affected it goes to the next level and I really have problems to empty my bladder and I have to wait until it isn't anybody in the whole house to have relief.

I've had insomnia from my 15-16 years, but, if I know that I haven't to wake up early, I can sleep well. My mother says that I've had this problems since I were a baby, I couldn't sleep and I always urged her to come when she had left my room, she says that I didn't stand any kind of separation from her, and I only could sleep if she were near.

3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?

Maybe I have my bowels in pain when I feel stressed, when I feel pushed in some way and I don't feel the strengths to overcome it. In such cases, I alternate from diarrhea to constipation and I have cramps needing to go 5-7 times to the badroom, but the stools are rarely much affected, they look normal.

I know that my pee problem comes from some neuro-vegetative disorder because it's like a resort, when I'm sad and I feel deep sorrow, it start causing me troubles.

I'm afraid of the days I feel tired because I've learned that people around me cannot undestand it and I think that they maybe think that I'm just pretending, but it's real, I hate being stopped and I like to be very active, mostly intelectually or with my work, on the other hand I don't like sports at all.

4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst?

I feel so completely alone that It goes further and I feel that really I've lost some of myself, I deeply miss something that I don't even know what it is.

I feel without any hope of heal from the pain, I loose all my energy and even the littlest effort become unbearable to me, I can only be at bed, reading about psycology, spirituality... searching desperatly for help in books.

I feel completely unable to continue living and I start thinking about suicide, but I don't want to make this to my mother and my sisters, although I really feel better thinking about it because I feel that, at least there's an escape, there's some way to stop all this suffering. I prey for help many times.

I also feel chained myself, I feel that there isn't anything that I can make only with my will, I feel at the mercy of the fate, without having any control in my life.

Usually I've lots of hobbies and things that I like to do, but I loose interest from everything, including sex, and I don't want to move and even I don't like to breath, I feel suffering from breathing, it's something I've tried to speak about with someone but, maybe, nobody beleives it... so I reduce my breath all that I can without feeling lack of oxygen and the only thing I want is sleep all time, but I usually have nightmares in which I can see myself crying and crying, I don't have any other of nightmares, I feel only sorrow in them.

5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?

I think it really haven't started at some moment, I think that it's a defect from my personality, I have no defenses when we speak about being separated. I remember when I first had to spearate from my mother to go to a 'baby-garden' (? I don't know how to say it, somewhere you stay a couple of hours some days where you are still a baby and your parents have something to do) how bad I felt, I remember such old memories because they were so strong that even have passed though my 4 years old mind to my actual memory.
But really my first big fall were with my first serious girlfriend, it coincided with my Mononucleosis and I felt both the physical hit and the emotional one.
I were 17 years old, and it really weren't proportional the lost and the way I mourned it, I lost a lot of weight, I stopped eating for almost one year and I suffered really deeply.
As if that where not enough, in this moment my parents started a very violent divorce and I felt that I were loosing their love, because my father left us and went to Israel, we haven't any money and this made me feel extremely insecure and 'finished' at that very young age.

6. Which time of the day you are worst?

Usually at mornings, as the day goes by, I feel some relieve thinking that soon I'll be over, but, if I had difficulties to sleep, then it's like hell because at day, I don't allow myself to cry, I don't like to be comforted because nobody understand what it's really happening inside me and they see it in another way, I think that is my own spirit that suffers and nobody have experience in that matters...

So, in summary, at mornings and, if I cannot sleep, from 12-4am when everybody is asleep.

7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same?

I really refuses company, but I realize I feel even worse being alone. I close my bedroom's door and I don't want to be disturbed but I need to know that my family (or what is left from it) is next to me.

I feel my symptoms aggravated when somebody start asking me questions about my situation, or what I plan to do to improve it, or which are my future plans... I feel terrible from this.

I also feel more anxiety with any responsability, I cannot cope with them when I feel so bad, and I feel guilty and that makes me feel even worse, etc...

I often crave for stimulants which make me feel, for some hours, a bit like 'out of the dream' and I start to do things, to study, to write, to start something... The worst of all is being unable to make things.

Alcohol worsen me a lot, even a beer, so I avoid it.

Also it worsen me to have a lot of persons near me, and for me, a lot is more that 6-7... I'm not really anti-social, I can laugh and go with friends and they tend to think that I'm a very happy person, because I behave very funny with them and I make a lot of jokes, so, they usually call me to go with them but I almost every time reject it because I see the world, the hapinness of so many people and I recall that I'll never have this luck in my life, so I prefer not to know about what I cannot have.

I cannot stand a hot weather, and in Spain it's a problem. I always seek from cold, but really cold, I feel better at 5-8 degrees, I've traveled to Switzerland because a friend of mine tried to help me and the climate and temperature were so good to me, the problem is that being away from my family or my most close friends is impossible to me when I am not well, and I couldn't stay there more than 5 days without my anxiety begin to raise.

I get some releif of being intellectually occupied, when I get to have enough energy.

The water, taking long baths used to make me feel better, and go to the sea and swim or a swimming pool, but I don't like too much sun, and unfortunately both things comes together.

8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?

Indeed changes do a lot of damage to me, specially big ones like having to move to another house or change my school (when I was young). I also need to be in a very familiar environment, I don't like to pass much time with people that are not in my inner circle.

9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?

Cold and dry weather. Also the sea and the water makes me feel better.

10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.

I'm a sweet person most of the time, I usually found myself trying to fix problems between people and it's a strage thing for me to be really angry with someone, I tend to forget everything in few minutes.

Now I have my self-steem very 'touched', and so it was during my childhood, but the rest of the time the image of myself is not that of a looser neither a winner, a feel a normal person, we are everybody special in some way and everybody ignores a lot, is just not everybody ignores the same things, so I try to 'have my feet on the ground'.

I'm not suspicious or jelous, I think that it's not my business if someone thinks the wrong way and I know that, for example in a couple, if they want to cheat me, I cannot stop it by being jelous son I leave that in God's hands.

In my childhood I used to be nervous and always moving and I often feel surprised because a lot of people say that the see me as a very calm soul, quiet and say that I transmit peace to them... I don't feel that at all, I thought that they could see my nervousness but they even sometimes I've been acussed for being too quiet and cold...

About agreeble... I always give people the reason if it's about not important things, I feel ridiculous to add more innecesary fights and bitterness to life, but I'm speaking about important things that could affect myself or someone else, I rarely leave my position even if some people show strong opinions against whatever.

I am very compasive to animals, I cannot stand their suffering, I could do anything for them. Having study medicine so many years have given me a good knowledge about physiology and, even if animal one is different from ours, I have helped many hours to a vet friend of mine and I always have some bird healing till it's the moment to fly, or a cat that loose its leg by an accident, I cannot just leave them alone and I give them a lot of time. I even learned some surgical skills from my friend and with mine, it's not rare to see mee operating a hedgehog or a pidgeon...

I always was a shy and sensitive boy, but as I were becoming an adult, I learned how to show the opposite. At the same time I'm very passionate and spontaneous, I hate routine.

I like motorbikes, ride them with friends, even compete in circuits; I also like maths and computers, good books and films, I love jokes, old romantic music... I am sincerely a very 'clean' person.

I'm not lazy because I hate the inmobility, but I recognize that is easy to misunderstood my depressions with lazyness, however, nobody suffer more than me being unable to be useful. I'm generating inside me a strong feeling of guilt.

- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?

I like them very much. I feel re-charged and full of life.

- Do you like being consoled during your tough times?

No I really avoid it at all costs, I someway beleive that the only honourable suffering is that in silence.

- Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?

I dont feel well a too bright light from the sun, and it's depending of what kind of noise how i'll feel about it. What I cannot stand is the noise of too many people speaking together, I feel like going away as fast as I can.

- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
weeping, talking to one self etc?

I use to tight the jaw a lot when I'm nervous, especially at night. I always often move a lot in bed and 'gesticulate' my dreams, sometimes I have hit hard someone unintentionally.

- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?

I've been talking about my wife and couples all the time so I feel that nothing more is needed.

I haven't had children, we tried in my last relationship, but there may be some problem from any of the sides because the didn't come, but maybe we tried little time, 9-10 months isn't too much time...

My mom has always be very lovely to me, I don't have lack of love from her, so does my two sisters, they are really good persons.

My father has a very special character, maybe some of my problems come from him. He has two sides completely different, he can be the ideal father or a monster without heart. He used to hit me strong when the causes weren't proportional to that punishment at all, meanwhile, some other times, I could make hard mistakes and he looked compasive and understanding me... so he was a constant source of stress, I think that he nulled me in some way not making me able to be myself.
On the other hand, he always cared a lot about my studies and helped me a lot, buying me whatever tools I needed to stimulate my mind. Doctors have said that he suffer from bipolar disorder.


11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?

I always dream about being very far from my home, and that I haven't enough money to return, so I have to ask favours to everybody and it makes me feel very ashamed.
In the same dreams or in other, it also come a situation when a feel so all alone... I knew I had somebody in a past but I couldn't remember her phone number, or, when I do, I get my phone and I'm not able to dial it, the numbers come and go randomly and I feel very stupid not even been able to make a simple call.

Other times I repeatedly dream about being in a car, on the couch at the back, and someone is driving me to some place and, in some moment, he/she left the car without using the brake, and I start falling and I have no time to move to the driver seat with all this movement, strangely, the wheels tend to move by themselves and I see amazed how it takes the curves and 'it is being driven alone'.

I also have, sometimes every month, the dream that I'm behind a heavy glass in an isolated room and my ex-wife, and my mom, or some times more people are there speaking, and I start to feel lack of breath and I try to hit the glass and shout very high to have their attention, but it's impossible and a strange illness starts to make me unable to speak, and gradually to move, and at some moment I fall down and I wake up very stressed and sad.

Usually one of that dreams make me feel sad all the day.


12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?

I don't like bitter beverages, tonic, beer, some liquors...

I crave for sugar usually and for anything cold like ice creams.

I like fresh vegetables but not cooked, as well as meat, but I need it almost burnt.

I like bread a lot and coffee, that makes me feel better for some time, later I feel that I need more and more, if I stop, I feel very bad, so I manage to take just one or two to avoid the 'chained reaction'.

I like very much cheesee and italian pasta, strong or hot spices, also lemon, I use lemon on almost everything, I like acid flavours. I crave for juices, I can drink 10 liters a day if I had, but it doesn't happen to have so many :)

I don't like light-cooked meat, I can't stand seeing some blood even a bit of redness.


13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?

Normal tending to high, some days I 'forget' to drink enough and the next I need tons of liquid.

14. How if your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?

Less than normal.

15. Is there any kind of food which your body can’t stand?

Fermented food is unbearable to me.

16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?

I sweat a lot, for me it's a problem, that's because I avoid exercise except those made on the see or the swimming pool. The first thing to congestionate is my head, it start to put in red and the sweat is unstopabble till I have a shower, it's like a tap.
Next, my back is the second one, in summer I've to change my t-shirts three or four times a day.

17. How is your bowel movement and stool type?

I've described it yet.

18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?

I have very disturben rythms, it's difficult to me to fall asleep early, I am usually more active starting at 7:00-8 :00pm and I reach my maximum at 12:00-2:00 am, so I need to sleep till 10:00 am or so, if I wake up early, at six or so, I feel destroyed all day, but again, at 10:00pm, I recover all activity and I stop feeling sleepy.

I tend to sleep in fetal position.

19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?

I used to be very active in that subject, even a little more than normal, but, from my divorce, I really have lost all interest over it. I 'work' if I want, but I don't really enjoy it like before, I rather put my attention on pleasing the girl, because of what I've said, I don't care for it anymore.

20. How do you think you are different from others, if at all?

Ufff, lot of things...

- I cannot start relations as easy as the others, I need plenty of time but, once stablished I am very faithful and I make very strong bounds, which others seem they can break it very easily, for me, it's like stop loving my mum or my son (if I had), I've told this many times to my Psychologist but I don't know it he thinks that I'm exaggerating or if he doesn't give it enough importance, but it's a KEY SUBJECT to me, I don't know how but I could image how it's having a child and, if you ask me for stop loving a long-loved couple of mine, it's exactly the same that asking me for stop loving a son, it's just not possible to me, even if they're damaging me, I always wish blessings to them and I even worry a lot for them above my own business...

- I think more profund that a big percentage, I look the world in a very different way. My priorities are very different, with love on the top and compassion the second, family the third, then moral and ethic, stability, mental health, career, physical health, money, a house... in this order

21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?

I've been prescribed some anti-depressants some time ago: esertia, bupropion, venlafaxine, but none of them helped enough, just a little at the beginning and that's all, usually they make me feel worse after some time taking them, I know a soul's illness couldn't be healed this way...

22. What major diseases are running in your family?

From my mother... the mother of my grandmother had breast canc*er (I don't know why the forum doesn't want the word) but she recovered, my uncle died not much time ago from a serious Diabetes that he had had since he were a boy, then my cousin had passed through breast canc*er (her daughter), we think it was the sorrow, because she is almost the only one person with whom I share that high sensitivity and he went through a hell after her father died.

From my father, my grandmother had breast canc*er, but she recovered and they all hav had very long lifes. But there's quite mental problems. My gradmother had depression for all her life, a cousin of my father suicided from taking drugs (although before that he had some minor mental problems). There's also a distant relative that had schizophrenia but I never knew him, I don't even know what is our relation.

23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance

I have green eyes, dark and long hair, I have a rather strong complexion, with a wide back, it's easy to me to get fit, it's just that I don't care much.

I've dark hair and a little pale colour, just because I don't like very much going away... when I was a child, I have photos where I was very tanned, but, since then, I always remember me rather white.

I have a height aprox. 1,87 cm and, some years ago I used to weigh 88-90Kg but since my divorce I move between 75-82Kg, I can change it quite fast if there're emotional changes in my life.

Some people (besides my mother xD) say that I'm quite handsome, although I don't feel this way...

I have little beard and very few hair in my chest, back and legs to be a man, for the moment is all in the head, I hope it continue there...

Thank you very much for your words, having some light over the inner causes makes me feel better.

My mother is a very spiritual person as I've said, but my father can be really evil... My mother told me that she had a really sad period during pregnancy, because my father usually damaged her, both with words and with actions, for example, leaving her alone when she was on the 8th month in a city that she didn't know, without money, telephone... just for his anger and she suffered a lot.

She told me that he didn't want me ... to come... he pressed my mother asking her for abort and she had very hard times.

Maybe I where some how conscious about this or about my mother feelings...

I'll ask her for more information and I'll post.

About the homeopath, the problem was different at that time, I were happy in my relationship. I started being treated for my physical problem with irritable colon disease with Nux Vomica, and I also had very violent nightmares, often regarding to people being cruel with new-born little animals, and It were not possible to me to help them because I didn't really was there, I were only being presented this images and I felt terrified and cry for some hours after waking up because of the reality and intensity, I was worried about my mental health, but some doses of Stramonium seemed to solve the problem, and I had tried a lot of other medicines: plants, meditation... but homeopathy seemed to do the trick.

I wanted you to say that I am really grateful for your words, it have given me some hope. I've pasted the text in a 1440x900px canvas and I'm using it as wallpaper, to try to have them present constantly.
[message edited by elhaim on Wed, 28 Aug 2013 00:24:10 BST]
[message edited by elhaim on Wed, 28 Aug 2013 00:38:35 BST]

Thank you very much again,

I ordered it this morning, it seems that 200c is the highest one you can easily obtain here.

I wanted to ask you...? it's just the ordinary coffee or also the caffeine, because sometimes I like to drink caffeinated drinks (Coca-Cola, RedBull...), may I avoid them as well?

If sometime I need a higher one, I'll order it from the sites you mention.

I'll inform you with the changes.
[message edited by elhaim on Wed, 28 Aug 2013 15:59:54 BST]

Hello, I wanted to tell you about my reactions to the Natrium 200CH.

I took it from 3 days, as you prescribed it. The days I had it, I felt terribly sad, like if all my feelings were amplified. I was always crying.

The day next after finishing the 3 doses, I felt a little more relaxed, like if I saw my problems and feelings not so big.

Now it has been 3 days after that, and I'm analyzing how I feel, I'll continue posting...