Depressed Dad! Need Help, Thank you!!

Over all I think that my dad is a very sweet person. He wants to make people smile. He loves talking to strangers and making new friends. He loves telling jokes and funny stories. He wants to be there for everyone. He loves being home, routines, structure and a solid foundation.

He rarely showers or changes his hair, never combs his hair, he hardly keeps anything clean - I only found 1 remedy I know of which is Sulphur - Although he does not have that philosophical aspect to him or tinkering away- Although he had been going to school for electrical engineering and wanted to build space rocket's engines! And he used to paint and make models of cars. He loves watching movies about cars and westerns and watches tv about history, science, how things are built, cars, and animals. He also used to have a big garden and spent a lot more time outside. He loved bicycling. He loved and still loves the beach and swimming is his favorite thing that he still does to this day. He is not as happy since my brother attacked me, like e lost his sparkle, he never wants to get his hopes up too high. He kind of mopes around and more sluggish with his energy. He is definitely better with company. Although he does not want you to leave lol.

I wish I could give more specifics of his health but he will only disclose so much information with me. And so the reasoning for me giving more detail about his life to maybe find the common thread and to capture his personality to match a remedy. Thank you!!
Better
Warmth- wears 3 or 4 layers of clothing. Very strange.

Worse-Cold
Thunderstorms scary

My dad's relationship with my mom- My mom has been irresponsible with money, ruined credit cards etc, and my dad is worried bills will get shut off because my mom is irresponsible with money. She is always manipulating him into giving her money. They are divorced and lives together and she uses him. I know my dad deeply loves my mom and will do anything for her. He loves bringing her purse to the car or bringing in the shopping or grocery items into the house for her, or bringing her clothes to the dry cleaners. I think deep down she loves him but she does not treat him good and says very hurtful things to him. Supposedly my dad used to clean the house all of the time. Until he got fed up with her always complaining it was not good enough so he said he rebelled and decided to stop cleaning up. I am not sure if this is true or not?? Although I would believe him more then my mom as my mom lies a lot, my dad if he does not want to talk avoids, or changes the subject. He is very honest and trustworthy. My mom sometimes left my dad at home during holidays (my uncle and dad had a verbal argument and my uncle never let it go) so my dad stays home for many holidays and my mom still expects him to cook dinner so she has left overs for the week when she works. I think this really was abandoning for my father and degrading. Like no one cares about him. My brother has also used my dad and has manipulated my dad just as much as my mom has. I am not sure if my dad knows that he is being manipulated and just wants to be needed and will do anything (bending over backwards to make sure others love him- or not disappoint them) or if my dad is just plain naive and gullible and does not see that they really do treat him bad and use him.

I know most of my life we never could have deep conversations because if I was upset or looked like I was going to cry he would tell me please do not cry, pleading me. He could not handle it very well. But in the last few years we did have very good conversations and he was there for me. And he even admitted to me and thanked me for the first time in my life while he admitted to me that I have been the only one that has really ever cared about him and been there for him. Since then he has given me jewelry or little gifts as thank yous. And told me that he will never give my brother anything nice because my brother will sell it, that my brother does not deserve to get anything from my father after everything he put us through. This specific conversation happened only one time this last year. I do not talk to him again because I know he is very sensitive.

Doctors - afraid of having his teeth pulled as they are rotten, black and broke

Change- I think it equates with something terrible will happen

Food Desire- Absolutely loves cottage cheese, ice cream, peanut butter, milk, Milk Shakes, roasted red peppers, Mac and cheese, pickles both sweet and soar one's. Meatloaf

Some of his food cravings may be due to the fact that his teeth are bad, or digestion is bad (it is hard to say because he will not talk about his health.Seems to eat soft foods perhaps because of teeth,Likes all seafood, anchovies,

He's never really liked fruits except watermelon, grapes, strawberries, melon, orange juice
Does not like brustle sprouts, pork chops, ham, peas gross him out.

Puts wax in teeth, does not like to eat out. Afraid of people watching him. Perhaps because of his teeth problem. Has a very poor spirits. Perhaps because of teeth hurting? Hard to tell.

He does not like to talk about his health.

He looks pale, sickly, looks older then he should look. Walks slowly as if he is really old But only age 70. Does not comb hair. Hair grey. He has lost a lot of weight. Jokes saying this is great. But it seems because of him not feeling well and not eating this would be a part of why. Its not like he was trying to loose weight.

He urinates frequently when he is nervous. He also has some trouble with his bowels. But I would have to ask my mom if he gets constipated or gets diarrhea.

He loves animals. Feeds the birds, stray cat and wild animals like skunk, raccoon and possum.
He loves chipmunk because they are cute. He loves meerkats and watching the tv show too cute about kittens and puppies.

He loves to watch nascar car racing. He loves the science channel and discovery channel.

He does not like scary movies, murder sort of movies,tv about ghost. He watches stuff and enjoys politics. He watches a lot of news. Which makes no sense because it depresses him and upsets him.

Got hit by car When little. Graised the top of his head.

Tonsils removed.

Used to have a lot of ear infections and had tubes put in his ears when he was little.

Nervous break down at 19/20. When in college from pressure and mental put downs from his father.

Growing up my dad was abused. Neighbor saw my dad getting kicked in the stomach by his father in the backyard. My dad never told us about this. It is like he would rather not talk about it and pretend it never happened. His sister used to clean up after my dad and do all of his chores for him. It was a cultural thing. My dad's sister chewed her nail off when they were kids. Growing up my mom never let my brother and me go to my dad's parents house because my mom never my dad's parents were verbally abusive and called my cousins stupid and were constantly putting them down.

My dad had a lot of anxiety attacks when my brother and me were little. My brother got hurt in an accident and all my dad could do was freak out, running around screaming in fear. Supposedly he would hold my brother to the ground and through books at my brothers head. I do not remember this. I just remember my dad jumping up and down like a 5 year old with temper tantrums, turn the tv off and turn the lights on and off. My dad only slapped me once when I was a teen. I do not remember why. I told my brother and then he got into a fight with my dad and started to choke my dad, my dad tried to fight back and I got between my brother and dad. Once I broke up the fight (which was really just my brother attacking my dad and my dad defending himself) My brother walked away. But then he picked up a huge glass container of apple fruit juice and threw it right into my dads back. My dad fell over and was screaming in my pain. My mom has also thrown stuff at my dad (books and cans of fruit or veggies) not any more though.

My aunt had a serious disease of the brain. It went into remission. It came back the second time and my dad did not find out till it was too late and she died. My dad was very sad and it was hard to handle that happening. Even though he never seemed very close with her and he lived in the same town as his sister and her family.

My dad's mom ended up having Alzheimer's disease and was very mean and would yell and scream. It was hard for to him to handle. As for his dad I can not remember how he died. But his dad, sister and mom died within a few years of one another and I think this is what lead to him having a nervous breakdown.

He started doing better with my brother and me living together for a short period of time and my dad becoming a grandfather really perked him up. He loves when the family is all together and it is very warming to his heart. He lights up, like it gives him hope and reminds him everything is going to be ok and safe.

2 years ago my brother got involved with lots of drugs and stole from us. My brother crashed his car I had picked him up (at the time I did not know my brother was taking drugs) and I brought him to stay over night with my parents and myself. In the morning he showed me all of my parents jewelry and how he was going to pawn and we could split the money. I talked to my parents and when they confronted my brother my brother freaked out and started tearing up the house. He threw the couch into the wall (put a hole in it) When my mom said she would call the authorities/police my brother broke her phone and went after me, chasing me up the house and had actually strangled me in the house while my parents were down stairs. I prayed because I thought I was going to die and I could not breathe. Somehow I do not remember but I got away and hid in a closet. I called the cops/authorities and they came to the house. When they came to the house my dad lied and said my brother borrowed the jewelry as he was afraid my brother would go to jail/prison/be arrested. My dad told me that it is not a good idea and he was more afraid for my brother then me. He would rather avoid confrontation and ignore it then do something about it. Was he afraid of loosing my brother's love for him? Was he afraid my brother would never talk to him? I do not know. My brother attacked me and mom a week later and threatened to kill me. This time a friend was there and this time I went with my friend to the police to order a protection order (meaning my brother legally can not be anywhere near me)

I did not know that police would arrest my brother. He had to go to trial and appear in court. My dad was even more upset about this. As if he did not understand how I was afraid for my life, he was more concerned with keeping the family together.He said I could be ruining my brother's life, that my brother could be locked up in prison. He still did not want to admit that my brother's actions were terrifying and life threatening. My brother was a different person on drugs. He was acting crazy and had anger problems in the past and at this point in my life I was confident he was very likely to follow through with his actions and attack me again. (when I was strangled and attacked again - I really thought this might be it, my brother had no remorse in his eyes, on the eyes of murder and hate/bewilderment)

My dad's was in which he responded is certainly deeply pathological. Because rationally and logically it does not make sense for my dad to act this way unless he had deep issues and challenges psychologically.

What factors makes my dad most sensitive? What about it makes my dad sensitive? How does my dad react?

He hates any change at all. If we are cleaning he will freak out and say 'why do we need to clean, it's fine as it is.' or 'Can we can another day' He gets very whiny. and then tries to change the subject. It's like he does not want to admit to the house being clean or to the fact that he does not change his clothes and they are filthy (which was not always the case. He will plead 'please don't make me change my clothes.' then he will try to change the subject to something more cute or nice like how it is nice weather or talk about the flowers growing in the house. If family says they are going to an event or visiting and then don't follow through. He will feel sad, almost like no one cares about him, he does not get angry. He just gets very sad and lonely.

He used to be a hoarder and keep everything. He would rip apart bags in the yard and think you threw out something important of his. Also if you threw away expired meat he might go back in the trash saying he could give it to the animals. Leaves a pineapple out and it is starting to spoiling, He asks for help in cutting it yet he is perfectly capable of doing it himself. He does love feeding the animals outside; a raccoon, a possum, squirrels, the birds and a stray cat. Back to the hoarding. Eventually after freaking out for a few months of me and my friend cleaning the house and hauling out lots of trash my dad finally liked that the house was cleaner. He actually would clean a little. He loves and feels so good about his bed being made (although he won't make it himself) He did go back to some of his tendencies with going through the trash again and last week he showed me a cupcake he saved from a family birthday party from a year ago. He showed it with pride and how much he cherished the memories. It was such a lovely day. I think that is why he saves things. He is holding onto the few positive memories he has.

Although nowadays he does not like to get his hopes up. He says maybe things will get better. He is happy that I am engaged and he likes to focus on how that is a blessing. And that I live right down the street from him and my mom. He is so happy my fiance owns his house and how its nice to find someone whom can take care of me. He really is big into anything that is secure and solid. If I mention chatting with a former boyfriend he tells me that is a bad idea when I am with someone so wonderful as if he is afraid of me loosing my fiance and my happiness. He also freaks out when I tell him I am traveling. He gets scared. If I have a little stomach ache or headache he tells me I should call out of work. And tells me I should not work on days when my mom has her day off so I can spend time with my dad and mom.