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Stuttering for entire life

Am 61 years of age and my stuttering has recently worsened. I believe it involves feelings of not being able to express myself freely and having to keep my mouth shut so as not to force the exposure of someone who I know is evil and corrupt.
Words come out explosively and seem to get stuck. I have tried Stramonium 30c with no improvement. Also, tried Causticum in several potencies, but with no real improvement.
Talking on the phone is excruciating. Reading is also very difficult as I cannot substitute words. Feel like burying my head in the sand due to the struggle and embarrassment. Please help!
[message edited by rsdmstanmar on Sun, 01 Mar 2015 23:51:13 GMT]
 
  rsdmstanmar on 2014-05-01
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
have kali phos 6x and calc flour 6x,5 tablets of each three times a day and a feed back every 4 days.
 
anuj srivastava 9 years ago
Thank you. Will try those RX's and let you know the results.
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago
You cannot just take remedies aimed specifically at stuttering. Stuttering is usually a much more complex thing than that, and is connected to the mental and emotional make up of the patient. The only remedy that will cure it, is the remedy that suits the entire picture of your health/self.

Homoeopathy is not a 'this for that' therapy. Each prescription needs to be made on the basis of the individual symptoms, expressions, feelings, and situation of the person.

I can take your case if you are willing to answer a list of detailed questions, aimed at finding a remedy to cure the underlying cause of your stuttering.
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
I am a classical homeopath myself and agree with your statements about looking at the whole picture. I have never been able to reportorize my own case and would appreciate your help. And, yes, I would be very willing to answer all questions. Thanks
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago
Well that is a very different matter. Welcome to the board!

HOW TO DESCRIBE YOUR COMPLAINTS

In homoeopathy, prescription is based on precise details of various symptoms from which you suffer. To tell or write to a homoeopathic physician 'I have a headache ', ' an eruption ' or “a cough” would not be enough. If you inform him 'I have headache with sharp shooting pains in the left side of the head and temple, these pains always come on when the slightest cold air strikes the head. I feel better by pressing the head very hard.” Then only you have given all the information required for making a good homoeopathic prescription. The success of the prescription depends; largely on how detailed your description of the symptoms is.
We require the following details about your symptoms.

LOCATION: Please give the exact location of sensation, pain or eruption. Also describe where the pain or sensation spreads.

SENSATION: Express the type of sensation or the pain that you get in your own words however simple or funny it may seem. You may have a sensation that a mouse is crawling or the heart was grasped by an iron hand or you may have a pain that is cutting, burning jerking, pressing. Express the sensation or pain as it feels to you. Try to explain the whole sensation in the exact way it is happening and not just the word. We need to understand the whole process of the sensation as it is happening to you.

WHAT MAKES YOU WORSE OR BETTER:

Many factors are likely to influence your complaint. Some factors may intensify it and some factors may relieve the trouble. A detailed list of the factors is given at the end. Please refer it while describing each of your troubles and indicate which factors make the complaint better or worse.

DISCHARGES: You may have a discharge from nose, ears, mouth, eyes, ulcers, fistula, eruptions on skin, private parts, etc. Please describe your discharge under the following aspects.
• The quantity and the time or condition under which the quantity varies i.e. when is it better or worse, when does it increase or decrease?
• The consistency: Is it thin or thick, stringy or clotted?
• Is it like jelly, white of an egg, like water, sticky forming a scab etc.?
• The odour, what does it remind you of?
• Does it make the parts sore, and in what way?

1] Your Complaint:

(Use your own words as far as possible, but if you have recognized or diagnosed the condition, give this information also.) By answering as many of these questions as fully as possible, you are helping me to understand what your body and unconscious mind is conveying. This can help me find a remedy for you.)
• What is your complaint?
• When did the complaint begin?
• Where is it located?
• What sort of sensations (and emotions) do you associate with it?

• Does anything make it better or worse?
• How does it bother you? How is it coming in way of your day-to-day life?
• How does it feel like to have this/these problem/s?
• What is the effect of this/these problem/s on you?
• Did any event happen which caused the complaint? Describe the emotion associated with it.
• What are the other symptoms started with it, esp. mental and physical symptoms, which are not directly related to the main complaint.
• What are your reactions with it?

MIND
________________________________________
1] What are the issues which are bothering you the most?
How does it feel to have these issues?
What about these issues bothering you the most and why?

2] What are the emotions that you are going through?
What are the factors to which you are sensitive?
What about these factors bother you the most?
How does it feel to have these factors and how you react during such time?

3] Any incident which had a deep impact on you? Describe in detail.
What are the thoughts/feelings/sensations associated with it?
At that moment of time what were your feelings/thoughts, sensations and reactions associated with it?
(Note: Incidents might have happened long ago and now it has no impact on you but at that moment of time if it had any impact on you, describe.)

4] What are your anxieties/fears/phobias real or imaginary? Describe them in detail. What about them is bothering you the most?
What are the feelings associated with it?
What could be the worst form of fear/phobia/anxiety according to you?

5] What are your interests and hobbies?
What about them do you like the most and why?

6] What are the thoughts which are coming in your mind again and again?
What about them bothers you the most?

7] Any unusual sensation/vibration or movements have you experienced? If yes, describe them in detail. Describe the whole process of that sensation without adding or subtracting a word from it.

8] What is/are the bodily sensation/s you experience with all your fears/ feelings and thoughts. Please describe the complete picture of it.

9] Please close your eyes and bring that incident, feelings, fears, thoughts which had/having a deep impact on you/bothering you the most and see what is happening deep within your body right now. If you perceive any bodily sensation, vibration or movements please feel it completely and then right the whole experience as it is without adding or subtracting a word from it.

10] What according to you will be best moment of your life?
How does it feel to be in that moment?
What will be opposite feeling of this moment or feeling?

11] How do/did you react in situations which have/had a deep impact on you?
What is your first reaction when you face your worst fear/situations?
Describe your reaction as it is?
How do you react when you are faced with stressful situations?

12] What you feel/feel like doing when you are alone and free of all your work?

13] How is your relation with your near and dear ones, at your work place?
Anything in the relationship that is bothering you the most?
If yes, describe that in detail? How does that feel like? How do you experience that?

14] Describe five negative and positive points in you?
Which out of it you would put first and why?
How does it feel to have that?

Please answer the following:

1] Tell about the dreams that had a deep impact on you.

2] Tell about the dreams that are repetitive, strange and weird that are not related to you at all.
3] Any dreams from childhood till today that you remember the most?
4] Any dream from childhood till today that had a deep impact on you?
5] Any dreams, just before your problem started?
6] Any particular part of your life where you had some recurrent dreams? If yes, describe in detail.

CHILDHOOD HISTORY
1] Any incidents from your childhood which had a deep impact on you, which touched you the most. Describe in detail about that incident/s and the feelings/thoughts/perception and sensations associated with it. What was your reaction to these incidents?
2] Describe your fears during childhood in detail.
3] Any imagination/fantasies/imaginary fears which you remember the most?
4] What you wanted to become as a child and why?

S L E E P

1] Describe your posture in sleep. (On the back, side, abdomen etc.) Are you able to sleep in any position? In which position you can’t sleep?

2] During sleep do you:
a) Snore?
b) grind teeth?
c) Dribble saliva?
d) Sweat?
e) Keep eyes or mouth open?
f) Walk? Talk?
g) Moan? Weep?
h) Become restless? Wake up with a jerk?

3] Describe if anything else is unusual about your sleep: (sleepy, sleeplessness, etc. if so when?) ________________________________________

APPETITE AND THIRST

1] How is your appetite?
2] When are you hungry?
3] What happens if you have to remain hungry for long?
4] How fast do you eat?
5] How much thirst do you have?
6] Any particular time are you especially thirsty?
7] Do you feel any change in your taste and feeling in your mouth?________________________________________

Food/Drink likes and dislikes, and how strongly

STOOL
1] Do you have any problem regarding your stools?
2] When and how many times a day do you pass stools?
3] When is it urgent?
4] Do you have any problem about bowel movements?
5] Do you have to strain for stool? Even if soft?
6] Do you have belching or passing gas? Describe its character.
7] How do you feel after passing gas up or down? ________________________________________



URINATION & URINE
1] Any problem about urine?
2] Any strong smell? Like what?
3] Do you have any trouble before, during and after passing urine?
4] Any difficulty about the flow? Slow to start, interrupted, feeble dribbling etc.?
5] Any involuntary urination? When?



SWEAT/PERSPIRATION-FEVER-CHILL
1] How much do you sweat?
2] Where and on what part do you sweat the most?
3] Do you perspire on the palms or soles?
4] Is the sweat warm, cold, clammy, sticky, musty, greasy, stiffens the linen etc.?
5] What is the smell like? E.g. foul, pungent, sour, and urinous.
6] What color does it stain the clothing?
7] Is the stain easy to wash off or difficult?
8] Any symptoms after sweating?
9] When do you get fever or chill?
10] What brings it on?
11] Do you experience any sense of heat or cold in any part of your body at any particular time? ________________________________________

CHEST-HEART – COLD – COUGH
1] Do you catch cold often? If so, how often?
2] Describe the symptoms, nature of discharge etc.
3] Is there any trouble with your CHEST or HEART?
4] Is there any trouble with your voice or speech?
5] Is there any difficulty in breathing?
6] Do you have cough?
7] Is it more at any particular time? ________________________________________


SEXUAL SPHERE (GENERAL)
1] Any excessive indulgence in sex in past and present ? Any effect on your health?
2] How do you feel after sexual intercourse?
3] Any particular feeling or symptoms appear before, during and after sexual intercourse?
6] Did you suffer from any venereal disease?
Syphilis? Gonorrhoea?
7] Do you have increased desire or decreased desire for sex?
8] What is the method you use for family planning?________________________________________


FOR MEN
1] Any difficulty in erection?
2] Wanted erection? Unwanted erection?
3] Weak erection? Failing erection? Describe.
4] Any other trouble in sex? Describe in detail.
________________________________________

FOR WOMEN
1] Menses: How are the periods; regular or irregular?
2] At what age did it start?
3] Was there any trouble then?
4] Mention number of days of flow.
5] Menstrual flow: Is there any change in quantity, color, smell or consistency?
6] Are the stains difficult to wash?
7] Have you noticed any variation in quality and quantity of flow during menses?
8] How and when?
9] Do you suffer in any way before, during or after menses? If so, describe.
10] What symptoms did you suffer during menopause?
11] Do you feel the internal parts coming down?
12] Is there any white discharge?
13] If so, mention the nature, color, consistency and smell of discharge.
14] When and under what circumstances is it more or less?
15] Has the discharge any relation to menses?
16] What is the effect of this discharge on your general feeling? Or any of your symptoms?
17] Any itching, excoriation etc. due to discharge?
18] Do you pass any gas from vagina?
19] Any trouble with breasts?


Aggravated or Ameliorated by various Factors


Affected by the Environment in any way, and how does it affect you?

Affected by position in any way?

Affected by some physical activity?

Affected by some mental activity?

Anything else you are sensitive to?
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
Have a terrible memory at age 9 sitting in classroom at school while my class was chosen to demonstrate how a new reader worked. All the other classes and their teachers were in the classroom as each student read a few sentences out loud. My sentences began with the letter 'O' (perhaps a word such as 'Often'. I struggled and could not get the first word out. Was humiliated and ran out of the room hysterically crying.
Other SX's associated with it are: heart racing and pounding, sweating on face and hands, and sometimes shaking of hands.
My reaction is primarily the embarrassment and feeling defeated and ashamed.
MIND:
1. Issues involve the way my stuttering keeps me back. I have so much to contribute and feel I am held back.
I feel like there's no use. The extreme effort is too exhausting, at times.
Most sensitive to the embarrassment and feeling that others are uncomfortable around me.
2. Emotions--anger, frustration, shame, embarrassment, defeat
Embarrassment and humiliation bother me the most.
I try to joke and laugh about my stuttering, especially with husband and close friends, but I still feel so terrible!
3. The incident in school I mentioned above. Also, had relatives who were often trying to get me to compete with other relatives, such as in sports. I hated competing and still do. Was always made to feel inferior by these relatives as a little girl.
4. Anxieties/fears/phobias: public speaking, heights, small spaces, snakes, sudden loud noises. Can't even look at snakes. Can't even climb up a ladder very far without feeling frightened. Also, as a child, I grew up on the Texas coast and loved swimming far out into the water, but now, when I see deep water, it frightens me.
My worst fear is probably height. I rode on a roller coaster in my late 40's and thought I would die of a heart attack. Never did like roller coasters or being turned upside down on amusement park rides as a child.
5. Interests and hobbies: bible reading and research, and gardening. Love being outside, taking walks or hiking. I feel close to God with any of these. I know he understands.
6. Thoughts coming to mind again and again: Many thoughts about feeling stuck in an impossible situation involving a person who used to be related to me and is the mother of my granddaughters. She is the most histrionic, narcisistic, borderline person I have ever known. She brought my granddaughters up to be like her and got them involved in shameful conduct.
My inability to rescue them over the years and their being out of my life for half of theirs. They are in their early 20's presently.
As far as positive thoughts, I have a great husband, friends who are supportive of me and this situation. I thank God and think of them often. I also love our dog and enjoy being with her, sometimes more than people.
6. The thoughts of my granddaughters, and thoughts of my stuttering problem. Both seem to be presently un- fixable.
7. No unusual sensation, etc.
8. Bodily sensations felt w/fears, feelings, thoughts:
tightness in neck, shoulders; sometimes chest pain and increased blood pressure (can feel blood rushing through my veins and it is also heard in my ears).
9. Feel tightness and pain in my neck and shoulders, burning sensation in my stomach and throat. I deal with neck pain and headaches from an accident about 8 years ago, but stress makes the pain much worse.)
10. Best moment of life: when I was baptized at age 22. I felt the most loved and felt love for God at that time. Also, have happy memories of being with family as a child.
Opposite feeling: My family (except for my husband) is either deceased or estranged. Feel very lonely at times-especially when around happy, united families or attending weddings where families are sharing in each other's lives.
11. I become angry, hurt, embarrassed, helpless. I want to withdraw from people. When faced with stressful situations, I initially want to retreat, but then I face the stress with courage.
12. When alone, I like to read, listen to music, sometimes, sleep.
13. As mentioned earlier, have a great, loving husband. I have wonderful friends whom I love. Family, those still alive, are estranged or have been corrupted by their mother (granddaughters). The latter situation makes me feel angry and helpless. Granddaughter are so messed up because of their mom's influence. Have felt and still feel helpless to influence them.
14. Negative points in me: perfectionist about my home and yard. I am always in a hurry, can't seem to do anything slowly. I am impatient with others who are slow (driving, walking, making decisions, etc.) I sometimes interrupt other when they are talking.
Positives about me: I feel deep love for others.
I am empathetic with the suffering of other people.
I am a good housekeeper.
I always try to do what I agree to do, keep my word.
I am a hard worker.
Dreams:
1. Dreams about my children, grandchildren being hurt or threatened and my being unable to help or reach or get to them to help.I have nightmares often of loved ones getting hurt or killed.
2. Repetitive dreams: Dreams of embarrassing situations. For example: not having a private place to use the restroom.
3. Dreams of my family being hurt or killed. And dreams of feeling embarrassed or humiliated in front of others.
4. Those described above.
5. Can't remember dreams from childhood.
6. Yes, when I didn't get to see or have my granddaughters in my life.
CHILDHOOD HISTORY:
1. The incident mentioned above in the classroom. Also, when I was 9 or 10, my brother, who I loved dearly, left to join the Air Force. I cried and cried and missed him so terribly! I was then left as an only child with alcoholic parents.
2. Fears during childhood: fears of losing my family. My sister, 10 years older than me, leaving home and being separated from her. Then, my brother leaving. Alone with parents, who weren't bad people, just alcoholics and unavailable. Felt I was rearing myself alone, without their help.
2. Don't remember any fears, other than losing my family.
3. Don't remember any.
4. Wanted to be either a psychiatrist or a veteranarian.
SLEEP:
Like either my right side or back. Not able to sleep on left side.
2. a. yes, softly
b. yes
c. yes
d. yes
e. no
f. yes, talk
g. yes, both
h. sometimes wake up with a jerk
3. Wake up several times during the night. Often wake up at about 3 - 4am and go back to sleep at about 4:30.
Appetite and Thirst:
1. good
2. in the morning
3. start shaking and feel 'gone' feeling in stomach
4. pretty fast
5. not thirsty
6. at night
7. no
Food/Drink likes and dislikes:
Love sour and fatty (rich and creamy things). Butter, ice cream, lemons, key lime pie, meat, eggs.
Dislike beets, turnips, brussel sprouts.
STOOL:
1. Constipated sometimes.
2. Morning, one stool daily
3. When I am busily occupied, like when shopping.
4. Sometimes very hard and can't eliminate.
5. Sometimes
6. Occasionally, but better when I take HCL.
7. No apparent feeling
URINATION & URINE:
1. no
2. no
3. no
4. no
5. sometimes, when waiting too long to urinate, or when coughing
SWEAT/PERSPERATION-FEVER-CHILL:
1. daily
2. face, back, chest, hands
3. palms
4. clammy
5. sour
6. no color, no stain
7. n/a
8. no
9. only when ill
10. illness
11. feel heat when embarrassed on hands, face, chest
CHEST-HEART-COLD-COUGH:
1. no
2. excoriating to nose
3. Have occasional asthmatic symptoms. Heart palpitates from time to time
4. Stuttering
5. sigh often
6. Yes, short, shallow couch
7. When anticipating an embarrassing situation involving speaking in public
SEXUAL SPHERE:
1. No
2. annoyed
3. aversion
7. decreased
8. n/a
FOR WOMEN:
1. n/a
2. 13
3. no
4. 4 - 5
5. n/a
6. n/a
7. n/a
8. n/a
9. n/a
10. n/a
11. used to
12. no
13. n/a
14. n/a
15. n/a
16. n/a
17. n/a
18. sometimes
19. no

No aggravation or amelioration by various factors.
[message edited by rsdmstanmar on Sat, 03 May 2014 01:42:11 BST]
[message edited by rsdmstanmar on Mon, 02 Mar 2015 00:00:10 GMT]
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago
Hi- you have to copy and paste the answers to every question on that form above your
post in order for E to work on it properly.
 
simone717 9 years ago
If you are a classical homoeopath then you know how important it is to give all your details, emotional, mental, general land physical. I would not expect for a homoeopath to give such a brief case. Please answer all questions so that I can find a proper totality for you.
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
I sent my responses in two parts. The second response is very lengthy.It appears the first post didn't get sent correctly. Will recreate and send to you.
Thanks so much
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago
Here it is again:
1. My complaint:
Debilitating stuttering that affects every aspect of my life.
2. My stuttering started in early childhood. I do not remember a time when I did not stutter.
3. Located in mouth, mind
4. I feel angry, embarrassed, humiliated, frustrated when I can't express myself. I sometimes feel others perceive me as unintelligent or as 'a freak'.
5. Worse when something is expected of me or when I am called on to speak in public, comment into a microphone, or read. Also, very bad when answering a recorded message on the phone.
6. It makes me angry, and inhibits my participation in conversations. I avoid conversations when I feel I will stutter.
7. It feels terrible. So frustrating, embarrassing, humiliating, limiting.
8. I feel like retreating into my bedroom and not relating to people.
9. I remember sitting with my mother as a young child reading to her and having her correct me harshly for stuttering.
Also, an incident at age 9 was very traumatic. I was in the sixth grade, and my class was chosen to demonstrate how to use a new reading program. All the other classes and teachers were crowded into our classroom to hear our reading. When it was my turn to read a few sentences, I could not get even the first word out (think it started with a vowel, like 'O' or 'A'. I ran out of the classroom and down the sidewalk hysterically crying from embarrassment and shame.
10. Can't remember any other symptoms that started with it, so long ago.
11. My reactions are still humiliation and embarrassment to the extreme.
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago
Apart from Stramonium or Causticum, what other remedies have you had, either with success or without success (and please note which).
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
I have tried for my overall picture the following:
Staph 200c, 1m--felt less angry and indignant, but no relief from the stutter

Aur/Ars 200c, 1m--for a recent horrible anxiety reaction to an antibiotic (yes, I know how suppressive they are, but had a secondary respiratory infection from H1N1 flu in Jan/Feb and let a doctor talk me into taking it). I haven't had the flu in many years due to a homeopathic flu prevention protocol I take, but I had skipped a dose, and together with the situation I am facing with my grandchildren, etc., no doubt left me vulnerable. The Aur/Ars 1m helped relieve the anxiety and panic, but did nothing for the stutter.
Also, I thought of a couple of unusual SX's I failed to mention. I have a crusty right nostril (for about a year now) that stays scabby and bleeds a little.
Another SX is an itch on my back under my right shoulder with no apparent visible cause.
Thanks again for your help.

I've recently have been looking at Dulcamara. The two unusual s
SX's above and stammering are part of the RX picture. What do you think?
[message edited by rsdmstanmar on Tue, 06 May 2014 14:43:31 BST]
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago
Don't focus on the stuttering. This is not how traditional homoeopathy is practiced. The whole state needs to be looked at. And there is a very strong well defined state here - hopefully not one artificially made by your knowledge of rubrics and material medica. Homoeopaths are often the worst patients because we end up quoting our books, instead of giving natural expressions.

I am just finalizing my analysis now. I will have some ideas for you soon.
[message edited by Evocationer on Wed, 07 May 2014 03:41:54 BST]
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
Alright the remedy I want you to begin with is Lac caninum 200c. It should be used as a liquid dose not a dry dose. Do you have this remedy? Do you know how to make a split dose as per the instructions in the Organon?
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
Hello, I do not have Lac Can 200c in a liquid dose. I do know about making a wet dose from a couple of drops of a remedy added to spring water and then shaken vigorously. I learned this in my training but don't know what page in the Organon the instructions are.
I get most of my remedies from Homeopathic Labs or Boiron.
Thanks so much.
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago
Alright get hold of the remedy and I will instruct you exactly on dosage once you have it. I will only be asking you to take a single dose at first.
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
I ordered the remedy today. Will let you know when I receive it.
Thanks
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago
Hello, I finally received the Lac Can 200c liquid today. Will look forward to your instructions.
Thanks
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago
Alright. This is the instruction for any dose unless I otherwise change it.

Hit the bottle firmly against the palm of your hand, 5 times.

Place 3 drops into 100mls of water.

Stir thoroughly.

Take 2 teaspoons out and into the mouth.

Hold for 20 seconds and then swallow.

Do this once only for the time being. We will reassess after approximately 7 days, although feel free to update on any reaction you get at any time.
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
Thanks for your response. Should I avoid coffee for 24 hrs or what would you suggest?
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago
The only people that need to avoid coffee are those people who have strong reactions to coffee - even if that is a positive reaction. If coffee doesn't really affect you, then it is usually fine to continue it (in moderation of course). Some people do seem to have trouble progressing properly while they use coffee, so it might be necessary to suspend it, but I don't do it first up in all cases.
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
Okay, that is exactly what I was taught. When dealing with my own condition, for some reason, I lose my ability to be objective and start second guessing myself. Thank you so much for your help. I will let you know my reaction to the remedy in 7 days. Thanks again for your help.
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago
Hello, just to let you know I have not really noticed any changes. I may be feeling a little more positive in general. No change in my stuttering problem. Will wait for your suggestions. Thanks again.
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago
We need to do a proper assessment of your response, not just focus on the stuttering. A general mood improvement could be a good sign.

Please go through your answers on the questionnaire I provided. List the various symptoms, feelings, problems you gave me, and next to each one write Same, Better or Worse. If Better or Worse, also write a % representing how much you feel it has changed.
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
1. My complaint:
Debilitating stuttering that affects every aspect of my life.
SAME 95/21/14)
2. My stuttering started in early childhood. I do not remember a time when I did not stutter.
3. Located in mouth, mind
4. I feel angry, embarrassed, humiliated, frustrated when I can't express myself. I sometimes feel others perceive me as unintelligent or as 'a freak'.
SAME (5/21/14)
5. Worse when something is expected of me or when I am called on to speak in public, comment into a microphone, or read. Also, very bad when answering a recorded message on the phone.
SAME
6. It makes me angry, and inhibits my participation in conversations. I avoid conversations when I feel I will stutter.
SAME
7. It feels terrible. So frustrating, embarrassing, humiliating, limiting.
SAME
8. I feel like retreating into my bedroom and not relating to people.
SAME
9. I remember sitting with my mother as a young child reading to her and having her correct me harshly for stuttering.
Also, an incident at age 9 was very traumatic. I was in the sixth grade, and my class was chosen to demonstrate how to use a new reading program. All the other classes and teachers were crowded into our classroom to hear our reading. When it was my turn to read a few sentences, I could not get even the first word out (think it started with a vowel, like 'O' or 'A'. I ran out of the classroom and down the sidewalk hysterically crying from embarrassment and shame.
10. Can't remember any other symptoms that started with it, so long ago.
11. My reactions are still humiliation and embarrassment to the extreme.
MIND:
1. Issues involve the way my stuttering keeps me back. I have so much to contribute and feel I am held back.
I feel like there's no use. The extreme effort is too exhausting, at times.
Most sensitive to the embarrassment and feeling that others are uncomfortable around me.
SANE
2. Emotions--anger, frustration, shame, embarrassment, defeat
Embarrassment and humiliation bother me the most.
I try to joke and laugh about my stuttering, especially with husband and close friends, but I still feel so terrible!
SAME
3. The incident in school I mentioned above. Also, had relatives who were often trying to get me to compete with other relatives, such as in sports. I hated competing and still do. Was always made to feel inferior by these relatives as a little girl.
4. Anxieties/fears/phobias: public speaking, heights, small spaces, snakes, sudden loud noises. Can't even look at snakes. Can't even climb up a ladder very far without feeling frightened. Also, as a child, I grew up on the Texas coast and loved swimming far out into the water, but now, when I see deep water, it frightens me.
My worst fear is probably height. I rode on a roller coaster in my late 40's and thought I would die of a heart attack. Never did like roller coasters or being turned upside down on amusement park rides as a child.
5. Interests and hobbies: bible reading and research, and gardening. Love being outside, taking walks or hiking. I feel close to God with any of these. I know he understands.
6. Thoughts coming to mind again and again: Many thoughts about feeling stuck in an impossible situation involving a person who used to be related to me and is the mother of my granddaughters. She is the most histrionic, narcicistic, borderline person I have ever known. She brought my granddaughters up to be like her and got them involved in shameful conduct.
My inability to rescue them over the years and their being out of my life for half of theirs. They are in their early 20's presently.
As far as positive thoughts, I have a great husband, friends who are supportive of me and this situation. I thank God and think of them often. I also love our dog and enjoy being with her, sometimes more than people.
SAME
6. The thoughts of my granddaughters, and thoughts of my stuttering problem. Both seem to be presently un- fixable.
SAME
7. No unusual sensation, etc.
8. Bodily sensations felt w/fears, feelings, thoughts:
tightness in neck, shoulders; sometimes chest pain and increased blood pressure (can feel blood rushing through my veins and it is also heard in my ears).
SAME
9. Feel tightness and pain in my neck and shoulders, burning sensation in my stomach and throat. I deal with neck pain and headaches from an accident about 8 years ago, but stress makes the pain much worse.)
SAME
10. Best moment of life: when I was baptized at age 22. I felt the most loved and felt love for God at that time. Also, have happy memories of being with family as a child.
Opposite feeling: My family (except for my husband) is either deceased or estranged. Feel very lonely at times-especially when around happy, united families or attending weddings where families are sharing in each other's lives.
SAME
11. I become angry, hurt, embarrassed, helpless. I want to withdraw from people. When faced with stressful situations, I initially want to retreat, but then I face the stress with courage.
SAME
12. When alone, I like to read, listen to music, sometimes, sleep.
SAME
13. As mentioned earlier, have a great, loving husband. I have wonderful friends whom I love. Family, those still alive, are estranged or have been corrupted by their mother (granddaughters). The latter situation makes me feel angry and helpless. Granddaughter are so messed up because of their mom's influence. Have felt and still feel helpless to influence them.
SAME
14. Negative points in me: perfectionist about my home and yard. I am always in a hurry, can't seem to do anything slowly. I am impatient with others who are slow (driving, walking, making decisions, etc.) I sometimes interrupt other when they are talking.
Positives about me: I feel deep love for others.
I am empathetic with the suffering of other people.
I am a good housekeeper.
I always try to do what I agree to do, keep my word.
I am a hard worker.
SAME
Dreams:
1. Dreams about my children, grandchildren being hurt or threatened and my being unable to help or reach or get to them to help.I have nightmares often of loved ones getting hurt or killed.
SAME
2. Repetitive dreams: Dreams of embarrassing situations. For example: not having a private place to use the restroom.
3. Dreams of my family being hurt or killed. And dreams of feeling embarrassed or humiliated in front of others.
4. Those described above.
5. Can't remember dreams from childhood.
6. Yes, when I didn't get to see or have my granddaughters in my life.
CHILDHOOD HISTORY:
1. The incident mentioned above in the classroom. Also, when I was 9 or 10, my brother, who I loved dearly, left to join the Air Force. I cried and cried and missed him so terribly! I was then left as an only child with alcoholic parents.
2. Fears during childhood: fears of losing my family. My sister, 10 years older than me, leaving home and being separated from her. Then, my brother leaving. Alone with parents, who weren't bad people, just alcoholics and unavailable. Felt I was rearing myself alone, without their help.
2. Don't remember any fears, other than losing my family.
3. Don't remember any.
4. Wanted to be either a psychiatrist or a veternarian.
SLEEP:
Like either my right side or back. Not able to sleep on left side.
2. a. yes, softly SAME(5/21/14)
b. grind teeth? yes SAME
c. Dribble saliva? yes SAME
d. Sweat? yes SAME
e. Keep eyes or mouth open? no
SAME
f. yes, talk SAME
g. yes, both SAME
h. sometimes wake up with a jerk SAME
3. Wake up several times during the night. Often wake up at about 3 - 4am and go back to sleep at about 4:30. SAME
Appetite and Thirst:
1. good SAME
2. in the morning SAME
3. start shaking and feel 'gone' feeling in stomach SAME
4. pretty fast SAME
5. not thirsty (5/21/14)-Have more thirst now
6. at night (5/21/21)-Thirsty all day
7. no
Food/Drink likes and dislikes:
Love sour and fatty (rich and creamy things). Butter, ice cream, lemons, key lime pie, meat, eggs. SAME
Dislike beets, turnips, brussel sprouts. SAME
STOOL:
1. Constipated sometimes. (5/21/14)-not constipated
2. Morning, one stool daily SAME
3. When I am busily occupied, like when shopping. SAME
4. Sometimes very hard and can't eliminate. 90% BETTER
5. Sometimes 50% BETTER
6. Occasionally, but better when I take HCL.
7. No apparent feeling
URINATION & URINE:
1. Problems? no SAME
2. Strong smell? no SAME
3. Problems before, during, after? no SAME
4. Flow problems? no SAME
5. sometimes, when waiting too long to urinate, or when coughing 50% BETTER
SWEAT/PERSPERATION-FEVER-CHILL:
1. daily SAME
2. face, back, chest, hands SAME
3. palms SAME
4. clammy SAME
5. sour SAME
6. no color, no stain SAME
7. n/a
8. no SAME
9. only when ill SAME
10. illness SAME
11. feel heat when embarrassed on hands, face, chest SAME
CHEST-HEART-COLD-COUGH:
1. Catch cold often? no SAME
2. excoriating to nose SAME
3. Have occasional asthmatic symptoms. Heart palpitates from time to time SAME
4. Stuttering SAME
5. sigh often 20% WORSE
6. Yes, short, shallow couch
SAME
7. When anticipating an embarrassing situation involving speaking in public
SAME
SEXUAL SPHERE:
1. No
2. Feel after intercourse: annoyed SAME
3. aversion SAME
7. decreased SAME
8. n/a
FOR WOMEN:
1. n/a
2. 13
3. no
4. 4 - 5
5. n/a
6. n/a
7. n/a
8. n/a
9. n/a
10. n/a
11. used to
12. White discharge? no SAME
13. n/a
14. n/a
15. n/a
16. n/a
17. n/a
18. sometimes SAME
19. no SAME

No aggravation or amelioration by various factors.

In summary, only see difference in my thirst (have been much more thirsty the past week)
&
Constipation is better (90%)
&
Have been sighing 20% more this past week

Sorry I can't be of more help.
[message edited by rsdmstanmar on Mon, 02 Mar 2015 00:02:17 GMT]
 
rsdmstanmar 9 years ago

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