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Perhaps Lac Lupinum or some vulture?

Primary complaint: Inability to lay a new foundation due to every path seeming to be a lie or a dead end. Lately I feel often convinced that I am living in a simulation of some kind. Thought these feelings come and go, I also end up waking up often with extreme terror of dying in confusion and a terrible state -- as if my death would only lead to worse.

My recurring dream has become that I'm flying between the country I live in and the country I am from again and again, always returning here for my job and constantly travel weary. I wake feeling tired, stinging, sure I don't have much more time left.

My business has been faltering, not due to lack of good engineering, but lack of ability to market well... stemming from a kind of listlessness I didn't used to suffer from. . . I was a hard worker and clear thinker, and an ADVENTURER.... but now I think all the breakthroughs and creativity and LIFE is behind me and it's just a wind down into a mentally stuperous death.

Suffered a recent car accident, having some physical problems. I used to cycle every week, sometimes going on trips hundreds of miles through mountainous terrain...

History: Extremely TRANSGENDERED for most of my life (Biologically male).

Deviated septum, so no nose breathing until surgery at 15, and left nostril still blocked. Suspect it was due to forceps delivery breaking nose. Almost always have some sinus drainage.

Milk Allergy diagnosed when I was young -- originally given ritalin, but then doctor tested for allergies and I had EXTREME grumpiness and hyperactivity within a minute of milk injection. Ceased to intake milk and teachers reported all ADD symptoms gone (This was 1986 or so). I still get terribly irritable if I drink milk or eat ice cream, etc.

Extremely sensitive body system. A few years ago I could still drink coffee, but one time out of fifty I would just about end up curled into a ball crying under my desk. Now a third cup sends me into a blind panic. During college I was sensitive to all substances, and my friends enjoyed how acutely I would hallucinate after just a couple of puffs of marijuana. Though I ADORED the experiences of stronger hallucinigeons such as LSD or Mushrooms. Often I have heart palpitations due to salt or caffeine, though when I check my blood pressure, it is fine due to athletic and adventurous lifestyle.

Due to hypersensitivity to medications, I never treated my transgenderism. I tried several times. After okay from doctors and endocrinologists in early twenties, tried estrogen in several forms but always had severe reactions. No problems with testosterone blockers, which always left me feeling EXTREMELY CALM and blissed out. But the estrogen was hit or miss. When everything else was in the right balance, I felt REAL, but much of the time, I would end up in tachycardia several hours after taking it.

I live in the countryside, where I enjoy swimming in the rivers, cycling, hiking, and generally exploring new places (Just found some strange tunnel systems, but my light was inadequate, so I turned my motorcycle around and came home. Will go back as soon as rains pass and I'm not worried about flooding). Generally I walk ahead of the group because I spot the snakes easily. (I have had a cobra stand up and hood at me on a day when I was a little less aware, though, LOL. I walked backwards 6 meters in just a few seconds.) Have always found comfort and happiness in the wilds.

Not so much in "civilized places." Air conditioning messes up my sinuses, and the seats on the bus aggravate my spine. But I can walk up a canyon all day without problem (Well, until my motorcycle accident recently).

Have practiced Qi Kung and Yoga extensively (Moved to Asia after practicing Qi Kung for seven years, visit India each year on pilgrimage since learning Yoga)... but no practice in the last year.

Am a product designer and entrepreneur.

I think that covers it. There are a few major points in there. I tried to hit them and move forward. I don't know enough about homeopathy to see the tie through all of it.
[message edited by ATLJoey on Fri, 15 May 2015 18:33:11 BST]
 
  ATLJoey on 2015-05-15
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
When did all this begin?

After your car accident?

What happened in the accident and what kind of treatment
did you get?

Have you tried homeopathy before?
 
simone717 8 years ago
Main complaint started a little bit after I finished a pilgrimage in India several months ago. My friend and I had some really tremendous mystical experiences there, but I was also putting aside certain reservations I had (for instance about "channeling"). However, during that time, I thought I was resolving my lifelong gender issues as it felt extremely convincingly as if I was emerging as the being I had always been. Though my body stayed the same, after weeks of visiting the most amazing places and meditating deeply, I felt utterly as if I was this huntress warrior, as if every move I made was that, as if I was truly looking with those eyes at everything. When I returned, I started feeling conflicted about some of the experiences almost right away. I still felt this absolute sense of being at times, but other times I didn't trust it, I didn't trust ANY of it. This feeling of confusion and wanting to disown everything spiritual has gradually increased.

About a month and a half after my return, I had the accident (truck ran through red light and knocked me off motorcycle -- verified by witnesses. I flew 2 meters to pavement. Hurt my side and hip severely, thought at scene that hip might be broken. Was thankful I had a helmet, because I went straight down on the back of my head.) For a month or so after that accident I thought I was okay. Then I started gradually developing symptoms around December and they got really bad by the end of January or February 2015. I started going to an accupuncturist and chiropractor, which has removed most of the daily pain from that accident.

However, that feeling of confusion which started after the pilgrimage has blossomed into a full-blown sense of total loss of direction over the last few weeks.

Now, looking back, maybe the pilgrimage was a catharsis of sorts which unleashed something pent up over a long time. In the last three years I have gone from being very organized, minimalist, and CLEAN to having a very messy apartment... I stopped cooking for myself much and started eating out.

The transgendered problems were a source of frustration all my life, and I always thought if I resolved that my life would improve. During the pilgrimage I thought I'd gained insight into that. But now I basically feel like however that goes, I'm still without foundation or clarity anymore, and like it's too late to have a good resolution of any kind to that.

I did try homeopathy once. My Kung Fu teacher recommended it to me. He had been taught at Beechwald Clinic in Michigan many years ago. I used Arnica 6x for pain due to a car accident I had been in back in late 2005. I could never quite tell how much it helped, but obviously it cost little and had few risks.
[message edited by ATLJoey on Sat, 16 May 2015 02:18:16 BST]
 
ATLJoey 8 years ago
Ahh, last things:

Physical: Balding since age 12, nearly completely bald at 25. Tall, thin, very white complexion, freckles where sun hits me. Deep voice, a bit hirsute. (Doesn't fit with being transgendered, eh? LOL).

One thing that seems to improve everything a lot: Vitamin Supplament Phosphatidylserine (usually in conjunction with zinc and magnesium). Makes me feel delightfully clear-minded and alive and alert. But where I live this stuff is hard to get and expensive to import.
[message edited by ATLJoey on Sat, 16 May 2015 02:28:35 BST]
[message edited by ATLJoey on Sat, 16 May 2015 02:30:09 BST]
 
ATLJoey 8 years ago
Hi- Am putting the following on here bc other people
study the forum and cases.

Phosphatidylserine is a chemical. The body can make phosphatidylserine, but gets most of what it needs from foods. Phosphatidylserine supplements were once made from cow brains, but now are commonly manufactured from cabbage or soy. The switch was triggered by a concern that products made from animal sources might cause infections such as mad cow disease.

Phosphatidylserine is used for Alzheimer's disease, age-related decline in mental function, improving thinking skills in young people, attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), depression, preventing exercise-induced stress, and improving athletic performance.



_____________________

Did you take any of the above after your accident or after
the India trip- and if so, did you then feel good and
back to yourself?

Or in the past taking it before India or the accident,
how did it affect the transgender issues?

And what country are you in at this time?

Homeopathy takes a lot of questions to get to the right
matches.
[message edited by simone717 on Sat, 16 May 2015 02:52:56 BST]
 
simone717 8 years ago
I have not taken any homeopathic remedies since returning from India.

I am currently out in the countryside of central Taiwan.

I started the zinc a couple of years ago, on and off, as it made me feel more energized and awake. I only started phosphatidylserine since returning from India. Maybe two months ago and it feels very good. I just am able to think very clearly on it. The saying, "Happiness is swiftness of thought" applies here, and it does make me happier.

Neither Zinc nor Phosphatidylserine addresses the transgender issues, but.... I don't know if anything can! I just seem to have to ride that one out so anything I can do to boost my energy, clarity, happiness outside that has been welcome.

But when I'm designing User Interfaces or otherwise immersed in life, I can forget about it during the daytime for months at a time. Phosphatidylserine and zinc just make me clear, focused, and mentally alive.

I'm in a relationship of five years. I was on the track to getting married before the pilgrimage, and my friend "channeled" something that it wasn't the right choice. That kind of threw me into a tailspin.... With my gender issues and stuff, I just want to be fair to my girlfriend. I communicate everything in the open, but she also feels the desire to move forward soon. When I think about it now, there's just this huge block that wasn't there before, and I'm not sure how to proceed. Back to the beginning of what I said, it's like I have no idea which foundation to build. I feel I'm going to end up repressing SOMETHING or overindulging SOMETHING. My life is like robbing Peter to pay Paul in that way.

I understand a lot of questions are necessary. I've also tried to avoid writing reams of story here.
 
ATLJoey 8 years ago
You know, the first event of this whole new stage of confusion was a month or so ago.

I saw a man digging through a trash can for food outside of a mall. I watched him for several minutes and saw in his eyes and face that he was a responsible and good soul. He wasn't here by being an alcoholic or something. He had very clear eyes.

So I gave him some money, maybe ten bucks US. I walked away and later thought I should give him more. I went back with the intention of giving him about a hundred USD but couldn't find him.

Then, this same day, I saw some fancy new Mazda red sportscar outside another shopping center. They had showgirls on the platform and some guy telling everyone how awesome the car was.

I fel utterly sickened by it. Like, somehow this was IMPORTANT enough to warrant sexing a couple of women up for show, renting this expensive space, putting on endless smiles and setting up this whole spectacle to "educate us" about a &%#$ing CAR! As if it has some sort of importance. All this while decent people are digging food out of trashcans.

I said a little bit about this to my girlfriend and she said, "Gosh, you are so cynical." And I said that it seemed to me that the most cynical thing possible would be to distract ourselves by acting as if red cars and flashy stuff mean anything at all while shrugging your shoulders about the terrible things happening to other living beings.

After that, for several days I had this terrifying feeling I was in some kind of simulation, as if everything is just distraction from our own indentured servitude and the everyday violence and suffering around us.. But very intense, like nothing was real. And since all that I have been awakening often feeling like I'm dying, or otherwise trapped.

So, this was when the state I was in took the step to where it is now. I try to tell myself that this dark time and difficulty will lead to another breakthrough, as difficulties often have in my life. However, this time I just feel like those benefits are all OVER, and everything remaining in me is just ashes.

This feeling of fundamental emptiness does persist now and tug at me even when I'm feeling happy. And when I'm alone and vulnerable, it's horrible.

I'm not trying to dodge the truth of all this, but I would like to know within myself which direction to take, then I think I would be able to handle it all just fine.
[message edited by ATLJoey on Sat, 16 May 2015 03:46:33 BST]
[message edited by ATLJoey on Sat, 16 May 2015 03:48:44 BST]
 
ATLJoey 8 years ago
Hi,

There are several issues going on here.

1. Your physical state from the accident which can
be addressed with homeopathy

2. The Zinc and phosphtidylserine and why the body
is not making the second, could have to do with diet,
absorption issues, etc and could also be dealt with
homeopathically.

3. The meditation and channeling issue. Of you and
the gf. One has to be very careful about this type of thing, bc you can easily be bringing in energies that
you think are wise, beneficial, have interesting experiences, but bottom line one has to really know
their own energy and how to clear energy- and what
is your baseline energy. You can think of it similar to
having someone camping out in your living room- you can
easily set boundaries there and know who you are dealing
with- it is the same thing in the spiritual realm.

4.The transgender issue could have something to do with
the above and your birth, and whose body is it really?
Or it could have to do with other physical things.

5. This forum: the forum has multi cultural practitioners
on it and many people have strong views on the transgender
issue etc and I don't think this is the right environment
for you to get healing work done. Anyone can comment on
any post whether they are a homeopath or just a visitor.

6.If you want to click my name,
I can discuss how you can sort this out, if you want
-either on here, or give you options of homeopaths who
have navigated a similar path in their own lives.
[message edited by simone717 on Sat, 16 May 2015 07:05:30 BST]
 
simone717 8 years ago
I might be able to help with this. This is the kind of case I deal with in my own clinic. Did you want me to look over this for you?

I ran a number of workshops regarding homoeopathic and the treatment of sexual diversity, so my attitude tends to be much more open when it comes to sexual identification.

There might be enough information here for me to work with - your posts have been quite descriptive so far. I am happy to try and help any way I can. I may have more questions though if you are willing to answer them.
 
Evocationer 8 years ago
I have already suggested he work
with Parakletos as he has an interest in
these kinds of cases.
 
simone717 8 years ago
I also offered as I believe I am the only sensation prescriber on the forum.
 
Evocationer 8 years ago
I believe cases like this on sensitive and
controversial issues should not be on a public
forum that is open to worldwide commentary by
anyone.Not the right environment and privacy
needed for healing, especially for someone who
is feeling vulnerable. Sooner or later, there
will be some judgement posted about going to
hell or whatever and then turns into religious
or cultural arguments which the patient has
no idea what he is opening himself up to- and would
prefer to have safety and healing, not a public
debate.
[message edited by simone717 on Mon, 01 Jun 2015 14:45:56 UTC]
 
simone717 8 years ago
Well that would be true of many of the things discussed here - parenting, infidelity, religious beliefs, sexual abuse, masturbation - all things discussed here. Since he has already been quite open about it I am not sure why it necessarily has to be shut away from sight.

Anyway, I was just offering mainly because it was clear he was looking at his case in the way Sensation prescribers do.
 
Evocationer 8 years ago
Many people are open about it because
they do not understand what this forum really is-
open to "world advice/comments- they think they
are talking to "doctors", health care
professionals and also entering into a "private"
interaction with the prescriber.

If you are not sure of your sexual identity
or gender,one should know beforehand if
you are on a public platform broadcasting
your dilemma to anyone who wants to comment
on it.

And you know this subject starts up some
"strange" prescriptions and hurtful comments-
every time.

I have discussed this with the moderator and
he agrees this is very tricky for him, as
he allows people to express their views as
long as no one is attacking a person and it
can be a thin line in the gay/transgender area.

-the first rule of healing is "do
no harm" and I think that by informing people
of what the forum is, they are not blindsided by
thinking they are in some clinic-
and they do have options of privacy, even
if they don't have the finances for face to face
treatment.

You, yourself, could have your website
on your profile and direct people to click
your name - you could do private patients
that way, it does not break rules, it is
up to the person,you could also do skype
for sensation method as I don't see that
method work well online and other sensation
prescribers do skype or phone- they won't
do online.
[message edited by simone717 on Tue, 02 Jun 2015 06:21:54 UTC]
 
simone717 8 years ago

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