DR KADWA please help!! Depression!!

dr kadwa,
I am 25 yr old male. I have been struggling from depression since i was 11 yrs old. I never took any medication or went to a doctor. But i was able to hide it from my family. I used to cry a lot at night but it has improved. Usually when i was alone i was able to distract myself. I think feeling of disappointment by my family makes my condition worse. I also have hard time to talk to people but this has improved slightly over the period of time. But the feeling of cutting myself from the world often took over the feeling of being a social animal. I am an introvert. I am always running away from responsibility. The thought of killing myself often cross my mind but did not able to gather courage to do so. Its often difficult for me to start a day after that i feel ok. I often feel pressure in my mind when i have to a chore or something new. These feelings has inhibited my progress in life. I lack fighting spirit.
Please feel free to ask any question.