Obsessive thoughts

Hi John Stanton! You've helped me before! Thanks for the funny response. No, not the wife, but the friend that hears EVERY DETAIL!
I'd love any help for the both of them....the wife is at her wits end with the husband, and the husband can't seem to help himself.

Do you need more info/specifics? Or do you have the perfect idea already?
Thanks!!!!!!!

The husbands acqusations were valid years ago, but the wife has commited herself to the family since then. The issue is more about the obsessive nature of the husband. (He has been diagnosied with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder but refuses any medication) He talks insessantly about his wife to all of us, he has worked out timetables using old phone bills and such, to piece together lies he believes his wife has told him. (Keep in mind these timetables are over 5 years old! Some of them 8 years old!) He refuses to work, drinks 4-6 beer every evening, awake until after 2am, smokes cigarettes non-stop, and naps most of the day, calls all of us with 'new ideas' about his wife! We all care about him, he is a nice guy, but is going crazy before our eyes! Maybe he needs a divorce, but he first needs some major help! I know all the details because I speak with both of them and we are neighhbors. He sits in my backyard many of these late evenings......
I anxiously await your thoughts! You have been so kind!

I've known both of them for almost 11 years. The husband has always been a bit talkative and excitable....he uses his hands and arms a lot while talking and has strong opinions about many things....diet, politics, religion. He has not been highly motivated to work (he is self employed and only works when he gets calls) he has always blamed others for what is wrong in his life.....but this kooky behaviour I didn't see until about 4 years ago, and it has gotten worse. He has been arrested for domestic drama two times this year. His wife said he used to rip his shirts off his body when he was frustrated in the past....
She seems fairly normal though she had an affair with another man right before things got crazy for them.

He is 47 years old and has just begun using reading glasses. His distance vision is good.
One other thing I notice is that he always says 'I'm such a nice/good/honest man and so and so agrees with me...' things like that. Or he tells me, in great detail, about how others compliment him....I've often thought that was strange...? If he is not telling me stories, he is on the phone with other friends ....he always sounds like he is 'building a case' to prove he is good/right/the better person.....
Just thought that might be useful.
Argentum Nitricum? What potency and repeat? Thanks Pankaj Varma for your response!
Thoughts John Stanton?

Is that always in a hurry because they manage time poorly and are running late? Or always running about?

I think there maybe something there with the idea about always a dissapointed love theme.....he talks of his mother leaving his father and this is his third marriage....and he is always dissapointed ....no woman ever is honest/gives him what he needs, etc.

His wife told him.

He found out 4 years ago this summer.

He has smoked since age 14 and drank since age 20. He is 47.

He won't do it. He doesn't think he has a problem. He thinks his wife is the problem.