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What do you do when you have no money for counseling, you have no job, your family (adoptive) tells you to not make your problems their problems, all of your friends no longer call you anymore nor answer your call, and your husband has become numb and out of energy with me, when I have run out of energy to deal with myself - I am at the end and all I can think about is, to end my pain...I have already tried everything else...I want to feel better but at 30 years old, I lost faith that there is light at th end of the tunnel...Chemical prescription drugs repulse me...There's no other way...God...
 
  Mushoo on 2007-10-20
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
pl have faith in god and send me complete detail as the above detail is not sufficient to solve your problem. donot loose your heart and there is always light at the end of tunnel
 
akshaymohl last decade
Patient ID: Sex: Age: Nature of work: Habits:


Please answer the following questions in a descriptive manner after careful analysis and recollection of previous experiences and happenings.

1. Describe your main suffering?

2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?

3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?

4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst? Describe the sensation in your own words.

5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?

6. Which time of the day you are worst?

7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same? Example- time, temperature, pressure, rubbing, washing, eating, tight clothing etc.


8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?

9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?

10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.

- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?

- Do you like being consoled during your tough times?
- Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?

- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
Weeping, talking to one self etc?

- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?

11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?


12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?

13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?

14. How is your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?

15. Is there any kind of food which your body can’t stand?

16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?

17. How is your bowel movement and stool type?

18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?

19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?

20. Do you have any strange, peculiar or unusual symptom or feelings? How are you different from others?

21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?

22. What major diseases are running in your family?

23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance.
(For Females)
24. If your menstrual cycles are not normal, please describe the irregularities, like pains, moods, flow type, clots etc.

25. What major diseases have you had in your life and when. Please write them in a chronological manner.
 
rishimba last decade
Thank you both for your reply! I will try to answer as best I can:
1. Suffering: Trying to conceal the real me in public environment has become impossible to the point I cannot be social - i only do what I must for food, etc...
2. Physical Sufferings: Hepatitis B, Scoliosis, Headaches, chronic constipation/gas/bloating, severe menstrual pain.
3. I repulse myself, people are repulsed by me, it's the end of the world, there are no more people of God (pure of heart), at times I see everyone around me as empty or worthless, I'm angry that I'm tired all the time and cannot keep up with others positive energy-it makes me more tired, I cannot comprehend fast enough so others think I'm slow or negative, I get overly happy at times causing me freak people out-too happy or too involved in a concept, when I'm down I disappear for days-antisocial, I unknowingly verbally attack people for their minor personality flaws...goes on and on...I've read the book: The Secret - it didn't help me...
4. At worst, I visualize how I will kill myself, then I visualize how happy I would feel by seeing those who ignored me (and never suspected I would go this far) by my death.
5. I know I am this way for so many reasons till even today. I was born by an American Man and Korean Mother in 1977. Mother was severely beaten by Father, I was severely molested by my father, uncle, grandfather, forced to give my mother oral sex, I was severely beaten until County Social Services noticed severe bruising on my body and face - was pulled out of my family in the 1st grade. Following, a family tried to adopt me but were a very old couple - the husband didn't want me so they gave me back to social services. 2nd Family much younger, they were 24 when I met them. They took me into foster care for 2 years then decided they wanted to adopt me. For the first two years as a foster child, the mother beat me in her rage attacks and said many horrible things to me. After adoption, it got worse. Today, they will not discuss these things. My adoptive Mother is still judgmental and in denial, on her second marriage and about to divorce again - my father only calls for superficial reasons...too much to write. I've been in therapy for years and am open to it, but they are not help...
6. There is no time of day that is worse.
7.When my loved ones tell me they don't understand why I just cannot forgive and move on or see the positive in my life...If it were that easy, trust me, I would..There is no one thing in particular that aggravates my suffering, well sex does sometimes or affection from husband...But that has been since forever.
8. Not Applicable
9. I feel better whenever my brain decides to feel better, I never know...
10. I am delusional by thinking I am the most kind, soft spoken, gentle, caring person - I've grown to realize and experience the truth that I am moody, arrogant, disagreeable, nervous, suspicious, very easily offended, argumentative, nagging, nagging, nagging, lazy, complainer, nothing is ever enough, there is always something wrong with everything. If someone does something nice to me, it's because they have too or it wasn't good enough for me. I get excited if a thunderstorm is coming! Thunderstorms make me feel empowered - I feel like God is there and 'enraged' at the world - it makes me happy to hear that. I used to like being consoled during tough times, but now I am still the same after so many years that when I hear the same thing repeated to me time and time again, I get angry with people who think they are saying things to help me for their first time, but I've heard it so many times before - I get angry with them and ask them who they think they are to be the one person who actually thought they could help...I don't want to be that way anymore! I am sensitive to bright lights and loud noise definitely makes me enraged! I don't have any habits...Just chain smoke till I can't smoke anymore...There was a time when I was so FULL of love and compassion for all friends and loved ones, now, I don't care if I ever see them anymore..Only my Husband I need, but even now, I visualize leaving him because it's easier if I deal with this alone.
11. I have no more fears, all of my fears have happened to me. The only one was of dying, but now I'm not afraid of that.
12. I always crave cheese or dairy and sweets. Aversions: vegetables & meat.
13. Always thirsty, even when full of liquid, still very thirsty. So I would say excessive?
14. Hunger excessive!
15. I eat it but I cannot stand Chicken!
16. Sweat is excessive on hands and feet. The rest of my body is normal.
17. I am always daily constipated. Stool is loose though. Looks like I eat a lot of fiber?
18. I sleep with a lot of vivid dreams, I side sleep with pillow between my knees.
19. I have never felt anything but annoyed during sex.
20. Others enjoy something when out, I guess it is apparent to them that I am indifferent or feel nothing - people are drawn away from me.
21. A while ago, I was on Zoloft but it made me feel horrible, after ward, I went crazy but began acting normal a year later (well how I am now - prescription free). I took Zoloft for 6 months about 7 years ago. I got hit by a car while crossing the street that year so Doctor prescribed zoloft to me.
22. No major diseases...I'm adopted, but I have Hepatitus B. I'm the only one in my family. Unknown how I contracted it as I was still a virgin and drug free when diagnosed in the 10th grade (blood donation at school).
23. I am attractive. Korean/American, 5'4', 135lbs, brown straight hair, brown eyes - I don't know, I guess I am pretty but inside ruins it.
24. Menstrual: always painful, even makes it impossible for bowel movements - too painful to release, some clotting. Very light flow and only lasts 3 days.
25. I don't know of any major diseases. Just Hep.b.
 
Mushoo last decade
take a dose of PLATINA 200C on any one day and post response after a week.
 
rishimba last decade
other remedies which could help are STAPH, AURUM MET and finally SEPIA.
 
rishimba last decade
First you have to take Staphysagria for the scars of insult and repression.

That will open up the way for other meds to work.

Until you have taken a few doses of Staphys in high potency....no other med is likely to work.

The scars on your personality are too deep.

I sympathise with you.

Prayers will hold you together and I will pray for you with a wish that some med works for you....soonest.

Pankaj Varma
 
PANKAJ VARMA last decade

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