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Post sexual abuse problems

I'm 30 year old, female.

My problems, to me, seem to be connected to sexual abuse in childhood.
I have daily headaches, they started when I was around 12-13 years old. I was tested and put on a lot medication in my teens, but nothing special didn't surface as the possible cause of my pains and problems, except maybe my tendency to be anemic and me having frontal lobe epilepsy (which has really tiny symptoms).

When I was 19 my psychiatrist started me on tranquilizers, which finally brought peace to my mind- both the 'nervous' mind and the headaches. I spent the last 10+ years more or less on those pills. I worked up a high tolerance, but just 3 months ago I started a process of withdrawal and take really small doses. The headaches came back, and everyday I face very intense emotions: terrible anger, frustration, hate and irritation, also self doubt, feeling of failure, comparing myself to others to a debilitating degree.

I perceive smells too sharply. I feel nauseous often.

My headaches feel as if some great power was pressing my skull. It hurts everywhere, but there are some focal points which hurt the most- they do change, but most of the time they are above my eyebrows, at the root of my nose, my temples. They seem to be connecting with strain pain coming from my wisdom teeth (had that checked out, everything seems in perfect order). Sometimes only one side of the head hurts. The focal points of the headache feel like someone hammering a dull nail.

Other than that,I have severe pains in my body. They change place, but an overall feeling of soreness remains. Even bones seem to hurt sometimes.

I have the irritable bowel syndrome. The cramps sometimes lead me to tears, and to the verge of vomiting, feeling really sick. I have medication for this, but it only manages to keep me in a somewhat moderate state, but still, either I am constipated or have diarrhoea; on top of that I have really intense bouts of having gas- they last for days, weeks, seem not to be affected by what and how I eat; it is really a big bother, obviously! The smell is really intense and my abdomen feels like a swamp.

I am on two antidepressants, and in largish dosage, one mood stabilizer and the (now) small amount of tranquilizers. I don't know if I can live without the antidepressants- yet I feel they do not bring any significant change, they rather just keep my head above water.


I feel overwhelmed with the memories. I have some trauma-induced attention deficit disorder. There's a terrible restlessness in me, and yet I lead a very placid life, barely exercising. Still, when I sit in place my legs tend to move constantly.
I seem not to feel a future, that is- I live for day-to-day instant gratification and escapism (books, internet, movies). Sometimes I take mild opiates to get my mood up and give my stomach some hours of peace, though now I avoid this as well. The opiates do not help me with my headaches, in fact, no medicine does- except the tranquilizers.

It seems to me that I was always afraid to sleep alone, and in the dark. In my teens I developed a terrible fear of aliens, those 'gray' ones from X-Files. Somehow the shape of the head and the big eyes and the mystery just freaked me out- actually, still does a bit. Or more than a bit. I even hate E.T. Really.

Also, I pick on my skin- I have very delicate and really pale skin, and my picking starts to leave scars.

I am very uncomfortable as a woman. I have big problems with the word itself. I see myself in the mirror, but the image is distorted, so I feel like a something that is a weird or funny creature from a movie. Quite big sexual problems follow: I start feeling great hate towards my fiancee, I even find him smelling bad. I do have sex, but I could do without it. I know that my disgust of physical things and of my fiancee isn't up to him- it was so with everyone I dated.There always came the point where I start hating them; and now I love and hate at the same time. There's no middle-ground.

ETA: forgot to add something important: I CRAVE SUGAR. When all else fails, it gives me comfort, even if I feel tired and bad after eating. I still am of my teen weight, but I fear the negative results of eating sweets everyday, and I purge 1-2 times a week. I am not sure if this is bulimia or just a whim.:(

I tried to keep this as concise as possible, but it turned out long. I would be INCREDIBLY grateful for suggestions how to tackle my state via homeopathy. Thank you for reading! Best.
[message edited by S.Fenn on Thu, 05 Jan 2012 21:01:36 GMT]
 
  S.Fenn on 2012-01-05
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Please take three doses of Lac Can 200 as follows and report back after 15 days (only 3 doses in 15 days).

day 1 morning
1st dose

day 1 evening
2nd dose

day 2 morning
3rd dose

One dose means
If the medicine is in pills form 2 pills. Don't touch pills with hand. Use cap of bottle to take pills.
If the medicine is in liquid dilution form, 2 drops in some 20 ml water. Sip up slowly.

Please follow homeo restrictions like no coffee, no raw onion/garlic, no strong perfumes, don't eat or drink anything within 15-20 minutes before or after taking medicine.
 
kadwa last decade
Thank you a lot, I wil do just what you say.
Best!
 
S.Fenn last decade
u have to talk to someone u can trust like how are u feeling inside or u may want confront ur abuser and ask him some qoustions or say some thing mayb 2 make u feel relived i dont know if this a good idea think abt it evey day say to ur self posititive dont let a bad person ruin ur life at the tym ur very young now ur grown up stay positive talk 2 councillar when ur alone imagine ur abuser in the jail say what ever u feel like this may help dont bottle things talk to trusted person
 
vishnu5 last decade

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