male problem

Sir I am male age 43 weight 79 height 5.5 married having 2 children .I am masturbiting before marriage but after that i stop it and spending good time with family .In last one year i got problem that first normally i did not get any erection during intercourse if for any instance i got it its discharge before entering or soon within 1 or 2 second of penterting. My whole life get ruined by this. I got erection at night during sleep which is sometimes very strong but whenever i wake and try to do the act nothing happened .I used over the counter medicines it gives some results but more side effects .My married life so much worsen that even my wife stop thinking about it and some time we meet after months but again result is the same and she is totally frustrated.In last five years i also got pileswhich is cure but when ever i used any medicines it comes back or i got constipation problem .2nd problem that i feel fear all times and even not able to face anyone specially in office and avoid to talk to management or any other person.I do not have the courage to sometimes explain my true working please please help me .