Lilium Tigrinum - Mental (inc. personality) symptoms - T.F. Allen

MIND

Mind

Emotional.

The most marked effect was exhibited by the mental and reproductive organs,

Excitement, weeping, feeling as if she were two persons, at night (sixty-fifth day),

A sense as if "she were going to be crazy, if she did not hand on to herself, and hold tight,"

Slight delirium and startings (third day),

Aversion to being alone, and yet no dread felt; tranquil, but liked to see others and hear them talk (twenty-third day),

Taciturn and reticent, during the day (third day),

Depression (forty-second day),

Depression of spirits, disposition to weep (tenth and twelfth days),

Depression of spirits; constant inclination to weep, with fearfulness, and apprehension of suffering from some terrible internal disease, already seated (very marked symptom observed by two provers), (after forty-three days),

Profound mental depression; to the prover "the heavens seemed brass and the earth iron;" an apprehension of moral obliquity weighed grievously upon her, for about ten days after the sexual excitement, and continuing in alternation with the sexual excitement for more than four months after the proving,

Depressed (forty-second day),

Despondency, with aggravation at night and diarrhoea in the morning, and great feeling of slowness and inability to get at her work (sixty-fifth day),

Low-spirited (sixth day),

Low-spirited, and not relieved by work (eighth day),

Low spirited; can hardly keep from crying frequently, which is the opposite of her natural disposition,

Worse on going to bed; can't go to sleep; wild feeling in the head as though I should go crazy and no one would take care of me; thoughts of suicide; how much Opium would put me to sleep forever, and who would find my body, and who would care; a new train of thought for her (eighth night),

A good deal of mental anxiety throughout the proving; despondent; gloomy; difficulty in expressing her thoughts; of recollecting; of selecting words; and expressed to her sister great fear of insanity,

Constantly troubled in mind (thirty-first night),

Apprehension of some calamity or serious disease very much increased,

Awoke in the morning, irritable (fourteenth day),

Irritable, in the evening (first day),

Irritable, depressed in body and mind, and unfit to work, in the evening (seventh day),

Irritable, impatient (twenty-ninth day),

She wants somebody to talk to her and entertain her (a feeling quite unusual with her); feels quite nervous; wants to cry from a feeling of irritation and of something wrong in the abdomen and pelvic organs; feels hurried and yet incapable, as if she had a great deal to do and cannot do it (twenty-second day),

While attending a lecture, desire to hit the lecture, and in the evening desirous of swearing and damning the fire and things generally, and to think and speak obscene things; disposed to strike and hit persons; as these feelings came, the uterine pains passed away (forty-third day),

Cross, having no patience with anything or anybody (thirty-third to forty-fourth day),

Vexed feeling towards everybody; don't want to be spoken to (eleventh night),

Do not want to be pleased; don't care to talk or read (sixth day),

Intellectual.

Constant hurried feeling as of imperative duties and utter inability to perform them; during the sexual excitement,

Stupid feeling (fourth day),

Perceptive and reflective faculties seem benumbed, whereas at first she was overactive and seemed to be two individuals (twenty-fifth day),

Wits and intuitions dull and languid (thirty-second day),

Obtuseness; cannot find the right word; forget what I want to say; in the afternoon (fifth day),

Disinclination to work (seventh day),

Disposition to muse and dream; is awake, yet seems asleep and a far off; not disposed to mental of bodily work (twenty-fifth day),

Inability to apply the mind, depression, disposition to weep (third day),

Inability to apply the mind to any subject steadily; could not think clearly, could not readily recall facts perfectly familiar (one hour after second dose, second day),

Want to be let alone; don't want the trouble to answer questions (second day),

Feel like sitting quietly in chair, without speaking or being spoken to, or compelled to think; I can see around me any number of things I must do, but cannot force myself to do anything,

Great difficulty in keeping my mind fixed upon the subject of my lecture; could no think of the right words to express my ideas (twenty-fourth day),

She came to me to state her symptoms, her mind being in such a state that she could not herself record them (twenty-second day),

She cannot record her symptoms; don't want to complain, and yet don't avoid people (twenty-second day),

Don't want to read (sixty-ninth day),

She can't think; acts without thoughts; keeps walking fast as though by instinct; feels hurried, but don't know why; is forgetful; can't decide for herself, must depend on others (twenty-eight day),

Impossibility to get a clear idea, at 8 A.M. (seventh day),

Everything seems unreal to me,

During the whole make mistakes in speaking, using wrong words (fifteenth day),

She dreads saying anything to anybody, lest she should say something wrong, and yet she wants to talk (forty-second day),