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I hv becom femininee PLz help

IS ther any medicine to cur fiminity
 
  konda on 2008-09-22
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Pls give deailed informations about your diseases.Nothing is uncurable in homeopathy.
 
Zahid)2 last decade
I have become extremely shy; whenever someone talks besides or around me i think they ar e talking about me; I feel like i am a girl. I dont like homosex but once i was abused sexually, since then my life is spoiled. I live now as a man but mental is more like a women. I was behaving like girls before but now I fell myself like a girl. I feel shy when I talk to any girl.
I always feel that people are commenting about me. This has spoiled my life and my career. I want to lead a good life. Please help me.
 
konda last decade
I have also done hormone test and allopat doctor saidf tht all is fine but i still suffer. plz say any medicine which can help me?
 
konda last decade
try stafisagria 30c twice daily for 7 days.then 1dose of lycopodium 200c.
 
Zahid)2 last decade
Please give us a complete description of your situation.

Please explain your personality, eating habits, lifestyle, job, age, appearance, physical body type, all health issues, and your entire medical history.

We need this information to choose a correct remedy for you.
 
BeginningHomeopath last decade
thanx zahid, let me try stafisagria 30C, im already using lycopodium 1M and got little help but angerness and irritation are increasing a bit, however gained a bit of confidence
 
konda last decade
hey beginning homeopath, thanx for u rconcern to help me;
I am slim guy of 25 age now. a very moody person, i enjoy a lot when in good mood and destructive n suicidal attempts comes in mind when sad and irritated due to failure or angryness,I was a bit shy from childhood, used to meet with few frnds, dont mix up with all boys or galz. fair skin now has few white spot in face n neck region which doctor said as bacterial infecgtion.

eating habit: I eat 3 times a day . can control hunger and most of imes dont feel hungry, a smoke with coke will fill up stomach; i eat moderately. wish to keep fasting weekly a day, when not in good mood dont feel like hungry and dont eat.

done all test related to STD and hormone test all r fine. Recently done was hernia surgery and is weak at lumbar sacral region as per xray report.
I want to enjoy my life to the fullest but feel extremely shy and have some mental feelings which is an obstacle for me to enjoy my life n career. when people around me talk i feel they are talking about me. I had homosex once due to which I got more feminine and now look feminine too. I cant stare at anybodys eyes. Feel extremely shy and uneasyness and loosing hairs in head also rapidly nowadays. Please help me i want to live a better life and take care of my parents as I am the only son of my lovely parents
 
konda last decade
This is a good start... Please offer more detailed information.

What is your body type? Fat, thin, etc. Describe your physical appearance.

What is your daily activity like, are you a student, work, etc.

What are your daily emotions?

What do you eat? What foods do you like? Do you have any cravings or foods that you hate?

Please describe your medical history in years? Have you ever had acne? vaccinations?

Have there been any diseases in your family?

What homeopathic remedies have you been on and when?

Wait until someone here has given your case a good study before taking any remedies.

You mention distructive and suicidal feelings? Is there a specific time of day?

I think that when we have a remedy for you, it will help you alot.
 
BeginningHomeopath last decade
Here is a list someone posted here. Please complete this fully.



1. Describe your main suffering?

2. What physical symptoms do you have in your body?

3. What mental feelings do you have associated with your physical?

4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst?

5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?

6. Which time of the day you are worst?

7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same?

8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?

10. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?

11. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.


- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?

- Do you like being consoled during tough times?

- Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?

- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
weeping, talking to one self etc?

- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?

12. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?

13. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?

14. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?

15. How if your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?

16. Is there any kind of food which your body can’t stand?

17. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?

18. How is your bowel movement and stool type?

19. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?

20. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?

21. What peculiar or strange sensation do you have in any part of your body at times? Do you sometimes feel ‘ as if…..’ in some part of the body?

22. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?

23. What major diseases are running in your family?

24. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance.
 
BeginningHomeopath last decade
1. Describe your main suffering?
ans: Main suffering is mental sufferings; shyness,feel embarraced and uncomfortable in crowded place and when communicating with others. I had homosex once in my teen age unintentionally and accidentally for which i feel guilty and unable to forget all way i tried but failed. Feel myself like a gal, if someone say something around me i feel that they are saying me. if anybody sing a song i feel they r singing that for me. I feel people are commenting me and are talking about me even if they are not in reality. I feel more emotional overly shy. I feel uncomfortable to speak with people whom i dont like and i always think that people think about me as homosexual. I feel people hate me for my appearence like an eunuch, I dont like the lifestyle which im living right now. I dont have confidence, as my frnds says i look like a coward and nervous person.

2. What physical symptoms do you have in your body?
i feel inactive and lazy. My chest floating ribs have erupted more and it differs from an normal persons chest. somewhat its like michael jacksons figure. sensitivity is more in that region. When I breathe i feel all air is going down region of floating ribs region instead of my upper chest. My lower back bone (lumbar region has got too weak even my backbone or spinal cord is weak. I cant sit straight long time but can stand straight for long time. My eyes looks like gals eyes. I cant make contact or stare at peoples eyes.Hands wrist have become like limp.feel chronic strain at lower back due to which i take support of chair and lean and also wish to sleep for rest due to tireness. Hairs are gradually falling at higher rate.


3. What mental feelings do you have associated with your physical?
my body structure and its weakness makes me feel more like a gal and makes my mind weak to do something by its full effort. I walk a bit like gals(hips are soo lose that they move a bit sideways) which effect my mentality of thinking myself as a gal. My sensitivity in lower chest (floating ribs region makes me feel that i look abnormal from other guys.


4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst?
I smoke cigarrates or take alcohol to the most and sometimes cry and feel like comitting suicide. I get angry and destructive and attempt to throw and damage things in and around me no matter its expensive or anybody's , sometimes I beat up my friends around me if they tease me as eunuch.

5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?
Once when I was 13 of age I jumped off a building due to which as my landing was not perfect I got sudden high pain at my back and felt as my breathe had stopped for a while as I couldnt breathe for some moment but by Gods grace slowly after 5 minutes I could breathe and slowly pain faded away.since then I dint get any pain in back but feel weak.
Secondly from 13th age age I started masturbating even I was actually unaware of what is sex. I just got the idea after i saw one of my senior guy doing it. I felt good and enjoyed masturbating at that early age and it continued as i slowly exploredf sex, then i grew my act of masturbation and did it more numerous times in a day.This made me weaker and a bit abnormal as I wasnt having more friends too and just wished to stay inside room closed doors and masturbating using some magazines and videos sometimes.
Thirdly at 15th age I had sex with gals and prostitutes. and continued it till i was 22.
I started smoking marijuna at 15th age but rarely then which continued more and was addicted to it. and was smoking it all days and my 18, 19, 20 and 21 age I was a chain smoker of marijuna and cigarattes also alcohol was chronic addiction. sometimes I used to take opium also. Those ages I lost interest in life due to failure in love.
And final is i unintentionally due to curiousity I had homosex once from when I feel that my life become miserable but before that also I was not living a active life like most other normal people live.



6. Which time of the day you are worst?
No proper time it can be said all the day and night until i slep. I feel worst.


7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same?
when somebody makes fun of me and passes comment on me. or when I fail to do something for myself or my career or family members due to my gay feelings.

8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?
May be chronic and excessive smoking of marijuna, digarates and alcohol, once homosex may have damaged me internally which i wasnt aware of.

10. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?
I luv winter season but dont know why , i just feel cool and relaxed with that coldness.


11. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.
Yes. I am moody , arrogant, wild, aggreable if i feel that its agreeable, I agree also if i dont feel to agree but internally i disagree but externally thru mouth i agree.
I am nrvous from my schooldays, from my childhood.
every time i have stage fear and get nervous when i talk something important or have to give a speech or when i talk with a gal. These all mental setup was from my childhood days.
I get easily offended but try to adjust it by taking it as joke else I just bear it.
I am arguing and like to win all times very les I have lost arguments mostlly with my friends.
I sit quiet most of time until i feel like i have to speak. sometimes I dont want to speak anything if i dont fine that the conservation is not that important.
I feel irritating around people or friends whom i dont trust and dont like due to some rason.
I feel lazy most of the times and feel like lyig down in bed.

- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?
at my childhood i used to be scared but not now

- Do you like being consoled during tough times?
yes i like to be consoled and that too i want from a gal friend, which i dont have and i lack it more.

- Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?
sometimes noise appears disturbing like horns and people shouting. i like music noise .

- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
weeping, talking to one self etc?
I talk to myself mentally not using mouth and most of the times i play my hairs on head whirling with my fingers especially when I thinkof something or get depressed trying to find out solution

- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?
I dont trust in frndship now due to some incidents of my past life wher my frnds were showing up as good ones in front of me and were saying all bad things about me in back oof me, also du to my friends i lost my love and most of my friends only started commenting at me that i a gay and few call me uncle, but they dont say directly but pass a comment. they use my money and never help me when i eed it urgent. now I feel difficult to trust anybody which makes me less talking to anybody, as I feel whats the use of talking, unless its so important and urgent i dont speak.
I dont like few family members also except few and my dad and mom. I used to hate my dad but not now. I am unmarried.


12. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?
Fears of being a unsuccesfull person. I get wet dreams more often and i dont remember any dream.

13. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?
I eat all things nothing special.all well cookd food. I love salad and fruits.

14. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?
Normal

15. How if your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?
less

16. Is there any kind of food which your body can’t stand?
none

17. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?
only head my back sweats when too hot or i get nervous.
18. How is your bowel movement and stool type?

19. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?
at my child hood imostly i used to sleep with faing downside nowadyas in all position. i was disturbed in sleep unless i take drugs or alcohol bu tslowly nowadays i recovered from tht and get normal sleep except when i get more tensed upon my life career.

20. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?
No. Now before 6 months I had stopped masturbating and now i need a female partner and still searching who can understand me. but able to control my desires. but get erection when i see any beautiful sexy gal wearing a sexy dress.

21. What peculiar or strange sensation do you have in any part of your body at times? Do you sometimes feel ‘ as if…..’ in some part of the body?
I feel high sensation in the lower rib cage of chest (the floating ribs region. also my sternum is gone down which tense me up how to make it back up to straight.

22. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?
I had consulted allopahy doctors and physichriasts for my trouble and some gave protein and vitamin and calcium tablets which could make me fat increasing my belly and mental medicines brought me sleep and tireness and worked little so i quit alll now.


23. What major diseases are running in your family?
mom doesnt has any particular diseae but is weak and looks pale. I look mostly like my mom.

24. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance.
I am now going to be 26 years of age. slim body, height is 5'3' . small oval face. hairs are growing bald from front region of head. fair in color. look red due to heat and skin gets dark when in dust region.
I have no beards or facial hairs are very less. have light moustache. small nose and ears. lips and eyes look like of gals. eyes have very less hairs in eyebrows which all makes me look more like a gal, skin is a bit dark around eyes. small neck and all flexible body as i used to practise yoga and now rarely at some time if i wish i do yoga.


Please help me out as I want to live a normal life and have a lot of dreams to fulfil and wanted to be a succesful person and afterall I want to give all happiness to my parents and poor people and wanted to have more good friends and be active and take active part in social and welfare activities, also i wish to be leader. I do all things great when alone but cant do when in others are around me all due to my mental and physical suffereings im facing. I hope i can control my physical difficulties but please help me to heal my mental difficulties which is really stopping me from all things. Thank you
 
konda last decade
I have an indication for you:

A single dose of Natrum Muriaticum 1M.

But if you decide to try it, you would need to commit to some directions in order to see whether the remedy works or not. That includes suspending the use of Lycopodium and Staphysagria or any other homeopathic remedy because they might interact with each other and you wouldn't get the benefit.

- A dose is 5 pellets dissolved in little water enough for a small sip.
- Do not eat or drink at least 1 hour before or after taking the remedy.
- Do not brush your teeth at least 3 hours before or after.
- If you can avoid coffee
- Do not use products that contains camphor.

Please, do not repeat a dose that could spoil and slow down the process of cure, only 1 dose should be enough to evaluate the reaction. If you're going to try it, please let me know and report here how you feel emotionally and mentally withing the following 5 days.
 
raphaeloliveira last decade
I have problems with my facial expression, when ever i feel shy or uncomfortable at certain places(any mall when i think all are watching me) or situations(which I feel difficulty to handle as others do it wasily) I get tingling sensation in my nose area and my face gets full of shyness. that tingling sense in nose makes little movement in my nose (most often when a person hate something or becomes shy his nose expresses this way.) I keep on feeling that all or someone around me is watching me and will tease me (even if no one does except very few) but dont get courage to see or clarify who is watching me or not in fact. I try to avoid this type of problems but it happens invoulntarily. Please help
 
konda last decade
hey aphaeloliveira I tried Natrum Muriaticum 1M and little improvement was there in 1st 2 days then i back to same problems but got little bit of confidence. however food was digesting quickly due to which my bowel timings got fast. Slight fever also ocured sometimes little depression and sighness still exists. Could u plz let reply whats the next plan of action should be??? Is ther any medicine that can cure the tingling sensation of my nose and which can decrease my overly facial expression. I have become jealous and selfish too. my communications still need a long way to improve. Plz help. Thank you
 
konda last decade
Gas problems increased in my stomach.Plz prescribe any medicine and me help to resolve all issues.
 
konda last decade
Please, do not repeat the remedy yet. I'll come up with the next plan.

How many doses did you take so far and when did you take it?

Did you have gas problems in your stomach before, or is this a new symptom?
 
raphaeloliveira last decade
Please take 1 single dose of Sulphur 1M.

I need you to report me back the same way you did with the previous indication and also follow the same directions of dosage. Just make sure that the water touches under your tongue before you swallow it.

The right remedy will cover all your main symptoms including the problem with your facial expression. That improvement will happen gradually after we adjust your dosage according to your sensitivity but we're not there yet. We're first trying to find the right remedy, and I'm doing my work so you can achieve that with the very least number of tries.

Please notice my questions above.
 
raphaeloliveira last decade
Hey Raphaeloliveira, Thanks for ur reply, I had taken as per ur instruction 5 sweet rmall round pills mixed with very little water once daily mostly during night times.


I had gastric problems before 1 year or so but it was not chronic and was very little like ignorable.

please let me know what u meant by pellets? was it small round pills or tablets as i was taking sweet round pills.
Also should i continue taking 1 single dose of sulphur every day, single day or for how many days
 
konda last decade
Please stop taking Natrum Muriaticum if you still are. When I say single dose It means only ONE dose, for only ONE day as well. You shouldn't repeat a dose specially in that potency with that frequency. It's only possible for me and you to evaluate if the remedy works or not if you don't repeat it.

Now after you stop all the remedies, then you can try Sulphur 1M for only ONE day, just ONE dose and report me back how's your energy level and mental state on the following days.

The sweet round pills and pellets are the same thing.
 
raphaeloliveira last decade
Hi
I apologize for forgetting to admit one thing that one month before due to depression I gave up upon allopathy treatment and started homeopathy treatment and one of my friend told that these medicines have no side effect so I browsed net and collected some information about which medicines i can use for the problems i hve. Then I made up a list of around 7 medicines and took all together 3 times a day for 2 weeks. I got little fat and my face got bulged up a bit. The remedies include Lycopodium, Sulphur, Phosphorous, Arsenicum, staffisagria, also took calcium supplements available in homeopathy.All remedies seemed to work for 3 days or so as i was feeling elated a bit and was enjoying being intoxicated. Then I was unable to decide which one is working for me as I thought not to coninue all same time then I stopped all and continued only Lycopodium and stafisagria, then slowly i came to know that even these remedies can be harmful when taken wrongly so last week I stopped all and continued only natrum as instructed and felt nice for 2 days and then back to same issues and got problem with gastric. I took all thinking that all will work faster for me and I can heal lot faster as Iam a person who have very little patience and wanted every thing in life faster. But now I have end up in confusion and may be need antidotes. However i dint face any problem except gastric and a little fat accumulated in my belly, also ther was a little change in my bowel timngs. But now I have decided to follow instructions strictly. With a hope that you people will certainly find out a remedy which suits me and will work for me. Another thing I have forgotten is that about 1 year and 6 months ago I took steroids treatment prescribed by an allopath doctor to be masculine and avoid feminine characteristics . I took it for 3 months and then quit suddenly. may be these thngs also had effect in my body. I felt little weak after quitting steroids but now recoverd back naturally except lost hairs on head but now wish to get rid of my problems completely. I have to learn to have patience :). Thank you
 
konda last decade
Raphaeloliveira I have stopped all remedies and i have decided to leave a gap of 24 hours after which I will try sulphur 1M one single dose and will let u know the results. Thank You
 
konda last decade
I hope that you understand that there's no other option other than waiting. The remedy itself doesn't cure your symptoms, but its job is only to stimulate your vital force and that one is responsible for cure you. So every time you take a homeopathic medicine you're damaging and stimulating your vital force over and over again and when that one is ready to get start working you take another dose, and then back to zero over and over again and so on.

I know that anxiety and impatience are the major enemies of homeopathic treatment, but when I'm being strict about these directions it means that one day I was exactly in the same situation as yours and I took way more remedies than you can imagine and all sort of potencies with an average of 1 dose per day for 5 months. The result is what one would expect: nothing. Only gained knowledge, but zero in terms of health. Once I took the right remedy and I waited for the very first time, I saw my symptoms gradually fading away and realized how much time I had wasted.

You won't need to antidote anything, you'll just need to take the simillimum (the right remedy for your case) and wait. Be prepared for this waiting when you take Sulphur 1M and please report me back.

Remember, only one dose, only one day, then wait and watch.

You'll be able to repeat doses a bit more frequently once you find your simillimum but you're not at this point yet.
 
raphaeloliveira last decade
Hi Raphaeloliveira ,
I have taken single dose of Sulphur 1M and did found very little improvement.i felt quite relaxed a bit and little mental angry at times. I could now stare at others eyes for a minute or less than that, If i stare more time I get uncomfortable and my face shows that uncomofortableness. I am Very confused to discover my simillimum as all medicine when i take i feel little good but the main cause (shyness, facial expression of shy and feling of getting comments frm others, due to which I get mental iritation still exists. any ways these medicines have brought a bit confidence in me and improved me physically but not mentally which i badly require to be healed as without mental healing I feel useless as I cant do any job well as others do it. One more thing is now also I cannot stare at any females eyes. Please help me in knowing the next step.
 
konda last decade
It's way to early to evaluate whether Sulphur or any other remedy is your simillimum or not within 48 hours. Think about it, we're trying to solve a problem that you have for many years, please do not expect a dramatic change overnight, though if you're taking the right remedy the improvement will come soon.

Your treatment doesn't end at this first dose, there's a whole range of potency to explore yet and different methods of taking doses that I'll tell you after. The plan is to stick with Sulphur and no other remedy whatsoever until it's proved whether it works or not.

Wait and watch 4 more days, do not repeat Sulphur, do not take other remedy. And you may also write down every time that you take a dose, make a little journal it will be useful later on.

Meanwhile you can keep reporting, and I'll need you to answer a few questions.

Since when do you have the white spots in your face and neck?
 
raphaeloliveira last decade
These white spots have started when i was 15 of age and dont remain after i use some anti fungal lotion(before was using candid tv allopathic lotion). Those white spots are due to fungal infection and i have been taking a homeopathic soap named 'protek' for that for 2 months but it hasnt yet disappeared completely but most disappeared. these spots are like white round patches which increase around the areas where they started and sometimes itch doesnt pain but looks ugly. One thing is i have dot like black spot in my nose only which can be seen if well observed but this black dot like spot is since my childhood, and it too doesnt pains and is only in the nose only.

Should i continue taking one dose of Sulphur 1M every day or stop and wait watch for 4 more days. Its been 24 hours i had taken only 1 dose of sulphur and now im feeling little good when I stay inside my room. I feel a bit uncomfortable and shy when i leave out as I feel like people will think that i am enuch, they will comment me, they hate me, they dont accept me as normal all this bcoz most stare at me and start commenting or laughing. but even if no one looks at me then also i feel that they are watching me and thinking something about me. ITs all phscychological problem i face. I am become too much emotional, a pessimistic. I have enough physical strength and I always feel like hitting someone to death who will take a brawl against me but bad luck no one views me that I hv that much strength and they feel that I am a enuch and cant do anything. The way I look my appearance which is like a gal my shyness nature adds to it so I also feel mentally weak and think in my mind that people think me as a gal and even if i do things like boys then also i am like a gal in their view.
Due to failures of my dream I hate this world now and have now started to hate human beings and may be if i am not able to get healed then i will surely take revenge for whats happening in my life . I have thought to destroy people and sometimes bad thoughts like to become a serial killer comes in my mind which i may happen in future. but i dont want to be like this all wht i think I want to live a peaceful life.
I may go mad if i cant restore back normal life. All bcoz my career, dreamz has spoiled, I have decided thAT I WONT GIVE UP HOPE and keep trying to do something best and die but if i fail after a long hard attempt surely i will be a destructive to mankind bcoz i hate mankind. I feel l ike ther is a devil inside me and i have enough brain to be a master mind for destroying mankind. Thats what my inner devil speaks of. bUT i LOVE BABIES THEY LOOK soo cute to me andI love this natue and a day without sun is very pleasant to me wher cool breeze blowing and a type of cloudy climate but no rain is very much liked by me.
I hate human becoz its human which made me like this Its people who called me and filled my mind to think like this way. For example if 100 people will say u that u look like a gal even if u dont then also it will effect u and it will doubt that r u a gal. may be this type of continous thinking is developing me this way but now i hv discovered tht mind and thinking is the main thing which affects the total life of a being. My friends betrayed me so I hate frndship too. ther are somethings which had happened in my past life due to which i hate frndship and human beings too. I feel like ther are two persons in me one who loves human beings like poor people and helpless people.
One moe thing is I had tremendous interest in sex before but now i dont feel that much desire for sex but hate it now as I deel that even too much involvement in sex also might have made me the sufferings which im facing nowadays. Its human beings who all bad things like crimes of all sort.
I want to lead a good life and do good for society and poor and helpless people. plz help me. Im getting frustrated. Please excuse me if i have hurt ur feelings but i have explained u the way my mind feels.
 
konda last decade
I was never such bad boy and never thought these type of destructive thoughts in my mind, but situations made me this way and I observe people very well and really it works great as what I think a guy is going to do he does that way. I have developed my ways to read people and i dont trust any body including u but i trust u to dsome extent and bcoz I feel that u too is surviving coming out thru huge struggles in life. and i really admire and respect people who become great by own efforts and hate people who have become gret just by chance and luck. Living in and with hardship i have felt in love with hardship and i dislike more comfort in life, I dont like human beings doesnt mean that I hate all humanity. I only dont like bad people and if i remain unstable mentally then finally ill destroy all bad people before i die and then ill rest in peace.
I hate gals bcoz due to a single gal whom i used to love so much betrayed me and left me in the half way and now got married to other guy of her parents choice. but i dont understand why i feel uncomfortable when i interact with females. IT was not like this before 17 or 18 of my age.

Hardships have made me a tough guy, but the problem is with my shyness which is like a tough shy guy. Situations and experiences in my life have made me brave as I am not afraid of death. I alwasy wished to die but death was scared of me and now I have to live for my parents who loved me so much and took all care of me until i grew up. I have to survive to keep their names on high , to support them in their old age when they will badly require me. Thats my final desire in life and my current problem is not helping me to do that. due to my problems I am unable to meet my parents. I live alone far away from them and have hide my problems from them as they might feel sad and bad about me also i dont want to increase their tension as I know what is tension (tension can kill a being). If i will come out of my problems Ill surely do all good things in life and take care of my parents and wish to be the best son of the world. That gives me peace, satisfaction and happiness
 
konda last decade

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