Dr. Sameer, please save my life !!!

Dear Dr. Sameer, thank You for Your response. It took me some time to write all of my symptoms:

-Morbid thoughts about life, melancholy. Confused and dull.
 constant inner restlessness , can not relax. Sad thoughts. Always feel tense, body stiff, numb, cramped, gait stiff. Very sensitive, low stress threshold. Extreme sensitiveness to weather changes.
 Religious. On deep level I believe in God. Negative thoughts appear in my mind about God and his presence, and that disturbs me very much. For example if God loves us we shouldn’t die at all, and in those moments I ‘m suspicious about his existence. Some times I think that God punishes me for doing something wrong, as I have done some sin. Sometimes I’m grateful .
-Obsessed with thoughts of death, great fear of death on some deep level,not that i have some acute fear of near death, but it works always in the background and there are like pop-up thoughts that all the time emerge on the surface, which paralyzes me both mentally and physically. It is some kind of finding no reason for living if at the end everything ends with death and you lose everything, your soul, the loved ones, but not material things.
-Pessimistic, negative scenarios are present in my mind all the time, like some misfortune would happen to me followed with fear, like there some accident would occur, for example that I am going to be hit by a car, or similar scenarios. Full of negative scenarios about any life situation. I also applied this thoughts on my 16 month old son, kind of fear for the future, how will he go through life, and that something bad will happen to him, also some accident or disease.
- most marked issues are health and finances.
-weeping, it makes me cry, sometimes gives me some releave, some times not. I cry because I can't stand my pains, neuralgia's, or as a part of the proving. I can’t cope with my situation, it is beyond my control. It overwhelms me.
- consolation helps a little, also when some encourages me, but also great doubt of recovery is present.
-depressed, despair, hopeless of recovery, insecure, I think I would never be well, fear that I am going to be disabled ( I have discus hernia on many levels, most prominent on level L5-S1 ) with mush radiating pains along legs, gait problem as a result of this, impossible sitting, enormous lumbar pain etc.
-very sad, emotionally blocked, can not feel happiness or love (only in rare moments towards my son), only pain and fear, anxiety. My son is only able to break that emotional wall that I built and in this moments I feel I should cry, instead to be happy.
-I feel insecure, that I have some neurological disease, MS, from time to time fear that I have some incurable disease, cancer or something.
- some fear from rats.
- fear of flying by plane.
- fear to go to work, fear from responsibility, fear that I’m not going to be able to endure my work. Aversion to work.
-I started to think about death when my grandfather died, I haven't seen dead men before . I was relatively grown, I had 23 years of age. I was in disbelief, my whole system was confused, starting to ask my self why people must die ( on some philosophical, deeper level ) though disturbing me so much. Dying was making no sense to me .I was very much connected to my grandfather since I had no father, my parents were divorced since my second year. In the following year I also lost my grandmother and other close relative.
 History of prolonged and everyday stress and care in the past 15 years related to the business I had. I felt big sense of responsibility and burden in these years. Many sleepless nights, many stressful situations. I have this sense of responsibility since early age because I had very demanding mother and I always wanted to make things as good as possible and to please her.
 Very conflicting relationship with my mother, nothing I can do is good enough for her. She is very fault-finding and always trying to provoke the sense of guilt in me. She is irritating me so much. She is always “hurt” and victim in her eyes. She is making up things and trying to present me in other people's eyes as responsible for our relationship. When she is in some good mood or period than everything can be fine, but in opposite mood everyone other is guilty, meaning me and my brother.
 History of suppressing my feelings, started after ending a love relationship when I was 20 years old. I was hurt a lot, decided not to give myself to any other girl, like not giving emotions to others, like I closed myself for love and emotions and any other following relationship was on superficial level, not giving much myself. Also suppressing my feelings
about the fact that I don't have father. Even though I had contacts with him later I had no feelings for him. I am sure that I missed father, support, on some deeper level, and this is also suppressed, I never expressed my feelings about this issue.
- 15 years ago I had a big financial loss, I lost my home. It was on the beginning of my business. In the following 3 years I developed my business and I bought an apartment and house too, which mean that I had ups and downs in my life.
 Irritable, if someone contradicts me. Sensitive when being criticized,even slight critic makes me angry, no matter if I’m right or wrong. Envy is not marked. Feeling that I am abandoned, alone on this world. Sometimes I have feeling that I don’t participate in this world, and the feeling that I’m stranger to myself. I feel aversion towards certain people. I like music, I learned playing guitar and piano by myself very well. I love nature, landscapes, animals also.
 I don't want to be in crowd with many people.
 Low level of energy, especially when symptoms are aggravated. Can't endure the daily routine.
 Although cold aggravate my symptoms, I want fresh air in my nose, stuffy room aggravates.
 Pimples on occipital area on the hairy part, elevated, hard, under skin,itching, inflamed, not forming pus.
 Acne on the face- shaving area, itching, sometimes forming pus.
 Seborrheic dermatitis, red areas, itching on eye browses and margins of the hairy part of the head. Sometimes itching with irritation behind the ears. Sometimes itching cause bleeding and forming crusts, especially on eye browses. White flakes are formed on this areas which are strongly attached to the skin. Dandruff. Itching on the scalp. Itching on eyelids, sometimes I notice scanty white discharge in the inner corners of the eyes.
 Dark spots floating when moving eyes. Sparkles with distorted sight precede headache and pain in the eyeball, mostly left. Can hardly see through the sparks. Lasts for 15-20 minutes.
 Kind of aphthae in mouth but not ulcerating.
 Greasy skin. Sensitive skin, if I touch or scratch my self slightly , there is redness visible for hours. This is most marked on my stomach and chest. Very marked redness, skin irritated, like nettle rash, with burning sensation, also itching, forming small pimples ( rash ) if scratched longer. Redness, itching and burning along course of nerves, especially the area under the chest on the upper abdomen, on the chest, on the backalong spine, along the outer side of the arms, and legs. The skin is not even in color, it is like spotted with red stains, inflamed and sensitive and muscles in the same area stiff and numb, burning. Nerves irritated, like neuritis, burning, pulling, cutting, tingling, like hot wires, with stiff, numb and extreme painful muscles in the affected area. Radiating pain with burning starting from spine towards arms, from lumbar towards legs, from back towards chest and abdomen,from occiput towards face ,in each case along the nerves. Also from the neck towards shoulders, arms and upper chest. This radiating pains often cause itching along the nerves, like shingles. I’m full of neuralgias.
 Nervous system greatly affected, weakness, prostration, sensitiveness, pulling in nerves, burning, inflamed, like crawling along nerves, tingling, spasms and cramps of muscles, radiating toward extremities, around body, towards chest, stomach, groins etc. Pressure in muscles. Neuritis. Neurodermatitis.
 Very intense pulling with tingling in the nerve below left scapula extending in front below chest.
 Pain with cutting along course of nerves with rash and itching which resemble like those of Zoster.
 Burning in palms and feet, with tingling . Sometimes hot flushes in head and body.
 Spasm of the upper chest muscles, cramping, preventing normal breathing. Spasm of all thorax and muscles between ribs.
 Marked pain in the whole muscles of thorax, chest on inhaling, especially on deep breathing.
 Deep pain in back between and under the scapulas, like of rheumatic origin.
 Crick in spine, whole spine sensitive on touch. Spinal irritation.Whole back painful, stiff, numb, constricted.
 All muscles in the body stiff, painful, numb, constricted, also connective tissue affected, ligaments and tendons. Fibrositis. Joints not affected, no inflammation or redness, except spine, vertebrae, discus hernias on level L5/S1, also L4/L5 and smaller hernias in the cervical region and spondylitis.
 While taking a walk pain in the arms, more left side, as if whole arm is broken while hanging down, associated with stiffness in neck and shoulders. I soon get tired from stiffness of the muscles which prevent normal breathing and walking. Problem walking upstairs, on account of lumbar pain and legs pain.
 Periodical pain as if broken in arms, also tips of fingers as if crushed. Enormous pain in the armpits, shoulders.
 Many type of pains in both forearms, like broken, pain with itching along ulnar nerves. I caught myself that I clench my hands unconsciously.
 Old injury on the tailbone after a fall, many of the present pains started after. Couldn't seat long time after, and still can't without pain. It is like cutting pain, spreading upwards and towards front, groins, glutei , legs and thighs. Sometimes like pinching pains in that area, like with needles.
 Pain in the knees and back of knees, tendons and ligaments.
 Pressure in forehead and temples, and crawling sensation on temples.
 Enormous pressure in back of head, occipital area, spreading towards head and neck.
 Extreme pressure on chest, like heavy load, can't expand the chest, only with great effort.
 Extreme sensitiveness on weather changes, especially rapid changes. On clear, blue sky, without clouds, dry and hot ( not too hot ) weather I feel much better, muscles more relaxed, breathing also, and I feel good mentally, with more energy, more optimistic. Body calms down. Summer is good for me. Also heat of the sun in my back makes me feel good, and taking a shower has good, relaxing effect on my muscles.
 Problems increase when weather changes to colder, cloudy, wet, dump, foggy, when all the pains are getting more intense, also stiffness, numbness, neuralgias, worsening the mental state, energy etc. With the approach of the autumn my situation gets worse. Meteoropathy.
 With the approach of colder weather or storm my nervous system gets excited, like inner trembling, muscles start to squeeze and cramp and pain starts to spread all over, my breathing start to be heavier, combined with restlessness and weakness, and feeling of pressure in whole body.
 When there is strong wind or storm approaching I start to be upset, anxious, insecure. Kind of slight fear I feel.
 Cold in any form make my symptoms worse, also draft of air, cold wind, air conditioning affects my muscles, making them stiff, numb, constricted. It also affect my nervous system. At night I have to wear socks and to cover my self warm even in summer. Uncovering at night can cause starting of pains in that area.
 I don’t sleep well at night, and I get unrefreshed and tired in the morning. I wake many times during night, from a dream, and can hardly sleep again. Some times my nerves get excited after getting awake during night and pains also start. I help my self by using small doses of sedative or Valerian tincture. Sleeping position on back and sides.
 Liver problems, elevated liver enzymes, more then double. This condition persists more then ten years.
 Poor digestion, gastritis, periodical pain in abdomen, gurgling, rumbling, noises. Sometimes cramps, stomach bloating, flatulence, expelling gases releave. Belching loud which releaves the pressure on the diaphragm. Craving for sweets, especially chocolate ( which aggravate ), candies, can't live without. I eat vegetables, fruits also, bakery products, some cheese, yogurt. I eat meat but not as a craving. I sometimes want salty things, mostly salads. I keep my stomach health by using probiotics, without the use of it I start to feel more problems in this area. I'm not too thirsty, I have to remind myself to drink water.
 I feel slight improvement in general after eating. Sometimes I have to eat before going to sleep. Generally I have good appetite, except when I feel so bad that I can’t eat anything. I must have my breakfast. I’m prone to low blood sugar.
 Stool is variable.At this moment is dry and hard to expel, making my hemorrhoids active, not visible ones, with fresh blood from anus. I have some fissure which gets active when my stool is hard and also bleeding.
 I don’t sweat much, only if I wake up in the middle of the night from stress or some dream, then I sweat on back of head and chest.
 Profuse urinating ameliorates in general. Sudden urge to urinate, but I don't urinate too often, should say normally.
 Chronic uro-genital inflammation. Treatment of Gonorrhea in 1995. I’m not sure that I had it, because every single couple that visited that doctor was diagnosed with Gonorrhea. I had pus, inflammation, burning. However, we received injections of strong antibiotics. In 2001 me and my wife were diagnosed with Chlamydia T. and we had undergone a combined antibiotic treatment for several times to eradicate the infection. It was successful, from the alopatic point of view.
Also condylomata, genital warts appeared on the orifice of the urethra which were treated with cryo therapy.
 Now I have chronic urethritis, with redness, cutting and burning in urethra, orifice red and inflamed. Sometimes I have discharge which leave dirty stains on the underwear. Earlier it was more profuse, now it cease. There is strong smell from penis like decayed fish or something. Painful ejaculation. Burning after ejaculation, and sometimes after urination or if I delay urination. I have redness on penis glans, sometimes like spots, sometimes all over. Also foreskin is inflamed, sensitive and red. Wet, cold weather or if I chill my feets aggravates. Testicles are sensitive, sometimes painful, especially the left one. Sometimes I have terrible itching like squeezing of scrotum. In year 2000 I had an surgery on the left testicle. It was a cyst on the epididymis. After the surgery it got worse, I had blood in the semen and very marked uro-genital inflammation. I was prescribed antibiotics several times, meaning that I had too much of it in the last 15 years.
 Medical History:
1. On age two I had purulent meningitis, I hardly survived, with two diagnostic punction in the spine.
2. On age 16 I had Varicella, very bad one, with fever for a month, with many crusts and itching, leaving visible scars on body and face. ( Is there any connection with the present symptoms, itching along nerves etc? )
3. Two months later I was diagnosed with Mononucleosis, with swelling of glands. probably I got that as of result of a lowered immune system after Varicella.
4. Year 1997 I had surgery for removing four pilonidal cysts. Took some time to recover.
5. Year 1998 I discovered that my liver enzymes are much higher than normal.
6. Year 2000 I had vaccine Hepatitis.
7. Year 2000 I had surgery removing cyst from the epididymis.
8. Diagnosed mith Herpes ( I think Simplex - I read that it can affect the skin and nervous system. Any connection ?)
9. Recently I made MR of the spine and many disc hernias are present. Also I checked my liver enzymes and they are still hi. The level of Iron is also above normal.
10. I made EMG of my leg nerves, showing no significant problems on the nerves.

- I want to mention that acording to some of Your posts I sniffed ONCE each of the remedies I took in 6c potency – liquid form ( Rhus T: Gelsemium and Sulphur ) one weak appart from each other. I must admit that I’m very sensitive to any remedy and potency, cause even one sniff caused aggravation. From alopatic remedies I use only Xanax to cope with anxiety and the fear, and it calms my nerves a little. I use mint tea, sniffing Camphor ( substance ) in order to antidote remedies.
- Sorry for providing that much information, but I think it is valuable for determining the correct remedy.


Thank You in advance,

Dejan

Dear Dr. Sameer, could you please give some remedy suggestion according to my symptoms? Please, I feel terribly bad!