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got the remedy from homeopath
... mercurious 200chmmm. She said that she gave my case quite some thought and thinks it is a complicated one.
She was busy teaching, travelling around country to teach.
hmmm. Mercurious is one I once considered but hmmm dont know what to think
starface on 2012-03-23
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
starface last decade
starface last decade
I have to take a dose a day for 3 days. 200c.
Hope this wont be to much and cause something unpleasant
Hope this wont be to much and cause something unpleasant
starface last decade
Maybe I got symptom of going on and on without waiting for reply? lol
..Not sure about mercury that much any longer. Because of my ego. Some situation happened at home.. It points to a different remedy
Out of all remedies I have taken:
All get 0-1
Aurum 5
Platina 10
..Not sure about mercury that much any longer. Because of my ego. Some situation happened at home.. It points to a different remedy
Out of all remedies I have taken:
All get 0-1
Aurum 5
Platina 10
starface last decade
I had to go to the petrol station and like in the past and what I mentioned in a post previous week... I had trembling and twitching while standing to fill up my car. Not been here for many months.
Ok if platina not my similimum. I guess I can be happy and expect even more from the real similimum. But I dont see how I could get such wide spread good improvements from a remedy that not similimum. Platina must have been a really close similimum than for it to make sense.
I cannot give it even a 9 out of 10 because that would mean there is something that I thought could of have been better, but there is nothin that I can think of. It is like that as I mentioned often... I could not all of a sudden start a big conversation with a stranger on the street from taking the remedy. But the improvement/change was in that it did not matter to me one bit, whether I can do it or not. It was those type of improvements I have gotten. So I cannot give it even a 9 out of 10 but just a 10. Because everything felt ok as it is.
And I mentioned this before often.
Mercurious when I take it will tell me everything. It either going to feel even better or I will have to say to homeopath in person we need to try platina again because all the good improvements after 4 months are starting to fade away. And back with disease.
I think mercury a high possibilty for me. but not 100% convinced. mentals yes, physichals I cannot identify with really except the restless legs, bleeding gums.
Ok if platina not my similimum. I guess I can be happy and expect even more from the real similimum. But I dont see how I could get such wide spread good improvements from a remedy that not similimum. Platina must have been a really close similimum than for it to make sense.
I cannot give it even a 9 out of 10 because that would mean there is something that I thought could of have been better, but there is nothin that I can think of. It is like that as I mentioned often... I could not all of a sudden start a big conversation with a stranger on the street from taking the remedy. But the improvement/change was in that it did not matter to me one bit, whether I can do it or not. It was those type of improvements I have gotten. So I cannot give it even a 9 out of 10 but just a 10. Because everything felt ok as it is.
And I mentioned this before often.
Mercurious when I take it will tell me everything. It either going to feel even better or I will have to say to homeopath in person we need to try platina again because all the good improvements after 4 months are starting to fade away. And back with disease.
I think mercury a high possibilty for me. but not 100% convinced. mentals yes, physichals I cannot identify with really except the restless legs, bleeding gums.
starface last decade
not going to post until a few days after I have taking the mercury because i feel that everyone against me, dislikes me etc
I assume the post 'dont despair' by a member here which was deleted by the moderator was an 'unfriendly' post towards me. Am I just paranoid? or was it really about me. Will never know
I assume the post 'dont despair' by a member here which was deleted by the moderator was an 'unfriendly' post towards me. Am I just paranoid? or was it really about me. Will never know
starface last decade
Can feel the BDD coming back slowly. Waking up mornings first thing on my mind my size of nose with this familiar bad feeling again. Of feeling broken, broken spirit.
It isn't really bad yet.
Strange that now after disease seems to come back I am starting to feel less paranoid, afraid at night. More to the old.
This week going to be a difficult week at work. Not looking forward to it. The old feelings of that I wont be able to deal with the things that might happen at work are coming up. But good that I have the experience from past few months of being at work so it isnt that bad yet. Just noticing the bad feelings at this stage but last week at work I had my moments when in conversation where I felt that I cannot handle it and felt anxiety + trembling.
If mercury wont work, I am back to taking platina. And dont care what anyone has to say. I will suggest this to homeopath. I know I am sensible and not obsessed with an idea. I drop things that do not work. Aurum, palladium I dropped it in a few days, all remedies that I had an attachment to because no significant change in my issues happened. If platina never gave me results it would of have been dropped because I dont see the point of why considering it any longer. If I am not it, I dont want to be it. I took 'low' remedies like lycopodium, staphysgaria in the past in an attempt to find out whether this is 'me'. Maybe I wasnt realisitc. But it was like waiting for an outcome on a murder trial, whether I am going to live or die (going to prison is like dieing, being dead anyway). Because no life for me if I am such low remedy. But I am at a stage now where I dont test or have such things to find out anymore. My mind was just clouded by fear. If you have such ideas about needing to find out whether lycopodium or any low remedy is you... chances are very high that you are not them. If you feel like you cannot live unless this one remedy is you... chances are it is your remedy + coupled with results. I really wonder why I am not taking platina instead of mercury. But I always was a truth seeker. And want to take mercury just so I wont have a doubt. Because if someone suggests a remedy for me, it means they think I am that remedy and not platina. So another trial for me (lol) but I am more assured right now. I would feel totally humiliated and whish the ground to swallow me if it turned out that mercury worked. But I dont know. My mind is telling me it wont. But there is fear 'what if it will'?
But the same scenario as I described above... if I am having such thoughts there is a high chance that the remedy not mine. WOuld mercury think such things, have trials, feel totally humiliated by not being the best remedy???? I dont think so. And I dont need a degree or diploma to find my remedy.
Mercury a tough contender. Very high chance it could work for me. Ah my fear of humiliation, fear of appearing to be wrong... again
palladium still gets my consideration because they want to be the best. So I am not sure whether I want to be it or think I am it. Mixed feelings. And the palladium was no proving but big aggravation. Although I dont think it was curative.
And the thing is when I find out that I might be platina. When something happens that points to it with certainty... I feel good. All is well for knowing I am this special remedy. So special lol I feel embarrassed (So something in me wants to feel special this must mean,no?)... but the feeling just lasts for a day max then. And next day I am depressed again. And cannot feel it any longer. emptiness. It is like I have to be constantly told by people the good things about myself to feel good. It is good knowing that I feel special, helps with being alone, it makes it bearable. but it doesnt last. I get to feel depressed and like sh*t quick and feel like nothing again.
[message edited by starface on Sat, 24 Mar 2012 22:20:35 GMT]
It isn't really bad yet.
Strange that now after disease seems to come back I am starting to feel less paranoid, afraid at night. More to the old.
This week going to be a difficult week at work. Not looking forward to it. The old feelings of that I wont be able to deal with the things that might happen at work are coming up. But good that I have the experience from past few months of being at work so it isnt that bad yet. Just noticing the bad feelings at this stage but last week at work I had my moments when in conversation where I felt that I cannot handle it and felt anxiety + trembling.
If mercury wont work, I am back to taking platina. And dont care what anyone has to say. I will suggest this to homeopath. I know I am sensible and not obsessed with an idea. I drop things that do not work. Aurum, palladium I dropped it in a few days, all remedies that I had an attachment to because no significant change in my issues happened. If platina never gave me results it would of have been dropped because I dont see the point of why considering it any longer. If I am not it, I dont want to be it. I took 'low' remedies like lycopodium, staphysgaria in the past in an attempt to find out whether this is 'me'. Maybe I wasnt realisitc. But it was like waiting for an outcome on a murder trial, whether I am going to live or die (going to prison is like dieing, being dead anyway). Because no life for me if I am such low remedy. But I am at a stage now where I dont test or have such things to find out anymore. My mind was just clouded by fear. If you have such ideas about needing to find out whether lycopodium or any low remedy is you... chances are very high that you are not them. If you feel like you cannot live unless this one remedy is you... chances are it is your remedy + coupled with results. I really wonder why I am not taking platina instead of mercury. But I always was a truth seeker. And want to take mercury just so I wont have a doubt. Because if someone suggests a remedy for me, it means they think I am that remedy and not platina. So another trial for me (lol) but I am more assured right now. I would feel totally humiliated and whish the ground to swallow me if it turned out that mercury worked. But I dont know. My mind is telling me it wont. But there is fear 'what if it will'?
But the same scenario as I described above... if I am having such thoughts there is a high chance that the remedy not mine. WOuld mercury think such things, have trials, feel totally humiliated by not being the best remedy???? I dont think so. And I dont need a degree or diploma to find my remedy.
Mercury a tough contender. Very high chance it could work for me. Ah my fear of humiliation, fear of appearing to be wrong... again
palladium still gets my consideration because they want to be the best. So I am not sure whether I want to be it or think I am it. Mixed feelings. And the palladium was no proving but big aggravation. Although I dont think it was curative.
And the thing is when I find out that I might be platina. When something happens that points to it with certainty... I feel good. All is well for knowing I am this special remedy. So special lol I feel embarrassed (So something in me wants to feel special this must mean,no?)... but the feeling just lasts for a day max then. And next day I am depressed again. And cannot feel it any longer. emptiness. It is like I have to be constantly told by people the good things about myself to feel good. It is good knowing that I feel special, helps with being alone, it makes it bearable. but it doesnt last. I get to feel depressed and like sh*t quick and feel like nothing again.
[message edited by starface on Sat, 24 Mar 2012 22:20:35 GMT]
starface last decade
.. couldnt help but think that way after re-reading this post below. It most likely is and because of the good results
...not sure whether I should just mix a different remedy (mercury) into the mix.
I thought it is a good selection, but today I cannot see how it would fit... fit the core problem of me. Superficially it could fit. but not the core
I am not a celebrity, not a star - realistically speaking. And I would never talk about this with anyone in person. Around people I dont feel that way most of the time either. Rather have bad feelings about myself. But when I am alone and generally speaking I do feel that way. That I am just like them. From a point of worth, how people like me, treat me, admire my appearance, interest I am geting... from this point of view it makes me feel that I am like them. I cannot help it. It is the peoples reaction towards me all my life that makes me feel that way. The good feelings that something good/special about me. But realisitcally I know I am not celebrity etc. It is just a feeling that I am on the same level as I said from peoples reactions I always got. But also I feel that I easily could be.
It can quickly turn the other way around though. That I feel like sh*t and depressed and sensitive to when I am not treated such way. like my homeopath not paying any sort of attention or showing interest in me. She is just doing her job basically and treating me like any one of her clients. This makes me angry. offends. But I hate being the laughing stock, or considered a JOKE to people... and people do laugh at people who want preferential treatment so I try to stop and control it. This way I wont appear like a joke. Worst thing is to appear like a fake joke. (which is someone who is 'nothing' but acts like 'something' and demands preferential treatment while everyone around laughs because they know this person is 'nothing'. That this is all just in their heads... This looks so bad when someone behaves like that and I never will be like that. Such people (the ones who act like something but are nothing) loose all worth immediately by this revelation from their low behavior and I never will be put in such situation).
People who feel offended by not getting preferential treatment are the joke. And revealed as insignificant, worthless. They are not 'it'. But Fake, boasters, pretenders, they just have it in their mind that they are something special but everyone else knows that they arent. Just toddlers with that omnipotence thing still going on.
So I pretty much am above boasting or any such thing for reasons as described above. Because I could get attacked. Just being up high there and above most things is safe from attack.
So to me someone who is 'real' is humble not arrogant and can take such things ie. of not getting 'preferential treatment'. arrogant people are the toddlers I described above, the ones who just think in their minds that they are 'something'. So someone who arrogant to me immediately is renedered 'nothing worthwile.
So what is going on with me I think I understand now... If I dont get preferential treatment I am angry and feel offended but than the compensation (if that is the right word) comes in... That I think to myself of letting this go, accept it... and this in return than validates me as being 'real' so I can let this go easily. And not care about what happened. I mean There is an ego in letting go of this. It isnt 'true' acceptance or letting go of it. But it just compensation and gives me the ego satisafaction because this makes me feel so good. Like I said letting go of not getting preferential treatment it heightens my ego.. if you understand it. Gives the satisfaction just in another way. The Compensation for not getting the preferential treatment is just as good.
It is the same thing when I forgive someone or let go off an argument. This was always so strange to me how I can so easily all of a sudden let go of things after I started reading spiritual books. But I know this is just ego. It is easy because than I can consider myself as the enlightened one. So it just satisfied my ego.
Truth is I cannot accept anything, letting go of things, not getting what I want is all so hard. But when you can derive ego from this and than feel as someone above it all.. than pretty easy. No effort. but all just a sham.
I dont want to be fake, a sham, just think I am all this. I dont want any of this crap. It looks so bad and is humiliating. I want the real thing or nothing and lie depressed in my room for remainder of life if I have too. I am not those stupid people living in a fantasy world and never will. I could not look in the mirror at myself anymore if I were such idiot.
[message edited by starface on Sun, 25 Mar 2012 02:05:24 BST]
...not sure whether I should just mix a different remedy (mercury) into the mix.
I thought it is a good selection, but today I cannot see how it would fit... fit the core problem of me. Superficially it could fit. but not the core
I am not a celebrity, not a star - realistically speaking. And I would never talk about this with anyone in person. Around people I dont feel that way most of the time either. Rather have bad feelings about myself. But when I am alone and generally speaking I do feel that way. That I am just like them. From a point of worth, how people like me, treat me, admire my appearance, interest I am geting... from this point of view it makes me feel that I am like them. I cannot help it. It is the peoples reaction towards me all my life that makes me feel that way. The good feelings that something good/special about me. But realisitcally I know I am not celebrity etc. It is just a feeling that I am on the same level as I said from peoples reactions I always got. But also I feel that I easily could be.
It can quickly turn the other way around though. That I feel like sh*t and depressed and sensitive to when I am not treated such way. like my homeopath not paying any sort of attention or showing interest in me. She is just doing her job basically and treating me like any one of her clients. This makes me angry. offends. But I hate being the laughing stock, or considered a JOKE to people... and people do laugh at people who want preferential treatment so I try to stop and control it. This way I wont appear like a joke. Worst thing is to appear like a fake joke. (which is someone who is 'nothing' but acts like 'something' and demands preferential treatment while everyone around laughs because they know this person is 'nothing'. That this is all just in their heads... This looks so bad when someone behaves like that and I never will be like that. Such people (the ones who act like something but are nothing) loose all worth immediately by this revelation from their low behavior and I never will be put in such situation).
People who feel offended by not getting preferential treatment are the joke. And revealed as insignificant, worthless. They are not 'it'. But Fake, boasters, pretenders, they just have it in their mind that they are something special but everyone else knows that they arent. Just toddlers with that omnipotence thing still going on.
So I pretty much am above boasting or any such thing for reasons as described above. Because I could get attacked. Just being up high there and above most things is safe from attack.
So to me someone who is 'real' is humble not arrogant and can take such things ie. of not getting 'preferential treatment'. arrogant people are the toddlers I described above, the ones who just think in their minds that they are 'something'. So someone who arrogant to me immediately is renedered 'nothing worthwile.
So what is going on with me I think I understand now... If I dont get preferential treatment I am angry and feel offended but than the compensation (if that is the right word) comes in... That I think to myself of letting this go, accept it... and this in return than validates me as being 'real' so I can let this go easily. And not care about what happened. I mean There is an ego in letting go of this. It isnt 'true' acceptance or letting go of it. But it just compensation and gives me the ego satisafaction because this makes me feel so good. Like I said letting go of not getting preferential treatment it heightens my ego.. if you understand it. Gives the satisfaction just in another way. The Compensation for not getting the preferential treatment is just as good.
It is the same thing when I forgive someone or let go off an argument. This was always so strange to me how I can so easily all of a sudden let go of things after I started reading spiritual books. But I know this is just ego. It is easy because than I can consider myself as the enlightened one. So it just satisfied my ego.
Truth is I cannot accept anything, letting go of things, not getting what I want is all so hard. But when you can derive ego from this and than feel as someone above it all.. than pretty easy. No effort. but all just a sham.
I dont want to be fake, a sham, just think I am all this. I dont want any of this crap. It looks so bad and is humiliating. I want the real thing or nothing and lie depressed in my room for remainder of life if I have too. I am not those stupid people living in a fantasy world and never will. I could not look in the mirror at myself anymore if I were such idiot.
[message edited by starface on Sun, 25 Mar 2012 02:05:24 BST]
starface last decade
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