Dosing and timing

Hi
I have depression and when I am angry I can't control myself. I become aggressive both physically and verbally. I loss my temper often and always regret my actions( hitting my wife) after 5 minutes.this anger issue have been a curse in my life.
I am homesick and agoraphobic. I may have exposed to childhood trauma. Have a paternal history of short temper.

Thank for your time and honest opinion. I really appreciate the help.My case description:

Sex: Male Age: 30

1. Describe your main suffering?

depressed and don't like to go out and a sense of insecurity.


2. What other physical sufferings do you have in your body?

shaking of hand and pressure in brain when angry.
Hot flush of excitement
Cant think
out burst of anger and raise of voice in argument.
Cant sleep until expressed my anger and rage.

3. What mental sufferings / feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?

loose control of my behavior completely.Exert aggressive behavior with loved ones.

4. What exactly do you feel when you are at your worst?

Feel like to break, to heart, to shout at others.

5. When did it all start? Can you connect it to any past event or disease?
Yes, with minor argument with my wife and parents in which i have exerted aggressive behavior.


6. Which time of the day you are worst?
Not specific, whenever in an argument and criticized.

7. What are the things which aggravate your suffering and which are those which ameliorate the same?
a. argument
b. past aggressive incident
c. some childhood experience
d. in mental stress


8. Do your think your sufferings have relation to any external stimuli (like, change of place) or any internal biological changes in the body, like, menses (in females)?
yes, in crowd
also in places where past incident of aggression has occurred.


9. When do you feel better, during hot weather or cold weather, humid or dry weather?

Not specific. But the hot weather and sweat seems to increase mental stress.

10. Describe your general mental set up? Are you Moody, Arrogant, Mild, Agreeable Changeable, Nervous, Suspicious, Easily offended, Quiet, Arguing, Irritating, Lazy etc.

yes all of them.

- How do you feel before or during a thunderstorm?

nothing specific. not afraid of thunderstorm.

- Do you like being consoled during your tough times?

yes, try to avoid people, spend quietly most of the time.

- Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, noise, light etc?

Yes, noise and light.

- Do you have any typical habit or gesture like nail biting, causeless
weeping, talking to one self etc?

yes, leg shaking, nail biting, hand on face (as an attempt to hide myself)

- How do you feel about your friends, family, your children and especially your husband / wife?
most of the time trustworthy, but if some argument comes up, try to shout or posture of aggressiveness. ( I think i love my family more than anyone, i want to make them happy.Don't want to make them frustrated and depressed like me.

11. What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?

Fear of to be criticized, not accepted, not getting priority and past incidents with regret.


12. What do you crave for in food items and what are your aversions?
I love to eat and overeat, have obesity from child hood.
have experience of being called "fat". and hate being fat.(agoraphobia may be due to such history) Feeling insecure.

13. How is your thirst: Less, Normal or Excessive?
i drink a lot, take coffee, and habit of smoking.

14. How if your hunger: Less, Normal or Excessive?
Excessive. but it more to suppress the tension and stress.

15. Is there any kind of food which your body can’t stand?
not specific.

16. Is your sweat normal or less or more? Where does it sweat more: Head, Trunk or Limbs?
More, from head also trunks and limbs. sweat more when nervous or excited.

17. How is your bowel movement and stool type?
Normal and regular.

18. How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?
sleep is good. sleep on both sides.with a leg pillow.

19. Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires in general?
Had no problem before, very recently experiencing less libido.

20. How do you think you are different from others, if at all?
I have a feeling that i understand which most people don't(superiority) but never mention it.

21. What medications have been taken earlier by you to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?
non taken. abuse of CNC depressants like Benzodiazepines used before but not regularly, Had suicidal wish by doing overdose.

22. What major diseases are running in your family?
not specific, my mother has depression, rashness, repeated talking, and font like people other than family.
mother and father argue all the time, are not happy together, buy yet cant live separately due to old age.
had a very unhappy married life.but loves the children so much
My father has very short temper, and always shout to others, Very negative approach to life , but loves the children so much.

I am a very late son after three daughters, i was born after 17 years of their last daughter.

23. Describe, how do you look like? Describe your overall appearance
Obese, rude. i look OK if not obese. had weight loos before 7 years.but gained weight again.
i am 5 feet 10 inch. and weight is 90 kg.
reduced 10 kg within 1 month, doing Atkins diet(High fat , moderate protein, no carbs.

I am in desperate need of help, i am doing repeated aggressive behavior with my wife and parents. I always regret my action after 5 minutes. My life would be much easier if i could that 5 mins (control myself form shouting, hitting others)
I have following medications in possession.

nat mur , nux vomica, kali phos and sulphur.

Thank you a lot I will forever be grateful.

1. You have mentioned of some past incidents that are probably affecting your behavior now. Can you describe all such incidents?

my parents used to quarrel a lot.
The neighborhood i grew up was not very friendly. My mother always used to warn not to mix(to talk or involved)
My paternal relatives were also hostile to us.Due to social and economical factors may be)
as i have explained before my father has short temper and used to shout to my mother a lot.also my mother not that much cooperative either.But they both used to love their children a lot.
after my father retired (a banker) he made a mistake which i came to know as i was the only child in the home.(my three siblings were married by then) the mistake involved sexual illegal relation with a made.but that was his mistake i know. may be due to unhappy married life.He was kind of a loaner. never liked to be outgoing too much. non did my mother.They were pretty old when i was born.


2. Do you love yourself? How is your self esteem?
NO, I dont love i think, but i do now as i am a father now.My girl is 6 + months now.
I must mention another incident which might gave me a deep trauma to me and my partner. My wife was pregnant a year ago. A daughter was born. she died after 12 hours. Congenital heart disease doctors told us. the night before the c section delivery of my wife we engaged in an argument and i hit her. nothing serious happened. my after my wife heard the death of our daughter she have been suffering since, and might think my brutal behavior is the cause of that incident. I dont accuse my wife for that. After all that was my mistake i know. every aggressive response of my life was a sudden accident i though. But recently i am willing to think straight.( I love my daughter too much) I dont her suffer from any trauma, i know how childhood trauma can heart.
(Honestly)
I regret after my every un acceptable behavior after each incident. (within 5 minutes, mostly)

3. How many times have you thought of committing suicide? Do you still have these thoughts now?
it was not actually suicidal thought i assume, maybe i wanted to get relief and mental peace. I dont remember that much it was long ago.
I tried to engest a large amount of Benzodiazepine(cns depressant.)
NO, it was a one time rebellious effort may be, but next morning i woke up normally, with a little dizziness in my head, dry mouth, lethargy, loos of balance.
4. Do you think you have inherited the nature of your father?
yes, i thing i have short temper and anger inherited from my father.
also some negative thought from my mother about my surroundings.(society, crowd etc.)

5. Have you undergone serious humiliation or indignation in the past, which could be the reason for depression and impulsive nature?

I was obese from childhood.Overeating and frequent eating) some kids of my age might think i am ugly and fat. I was a little aggressive as a kid too. Used to wrestle with my few child friends.
Also i felt very shameful and humiliated when my parents used to fight.Did not want to go family meetings and social get-together.

6. Does your family have any history of syphilis, alcoholism, insanity, suicide or murder in the last two generations?
Yes, insanity. My eldest sister has been diagnosed with Schizophrenia after her marriage, and she came back from her husband's house to our house. She used to shout and fight with my mother and sometimes with us all.
(I wanted to mention this before, thanks for bringing this out)

primary cause of your depression?
Multiple things, Me being fat, short temper,my wife not understanding my point etc.

2. How was your relationship with your father? Do you think you have been raised with due affection and care? Or do you think you have been a victim of domestic abuse?

NO, i dont think domestic abuse, i love my father, just wish my parents were not fighting with each other.

3. Are you introverted or extroverted in your outlook towards life?
Introverted .

4. If you were asked to change one thing in your past, what would it be?

not sure, don't want my anger to get out of my control i think.
Ps. my father never hit my mother they argue, and shout. I don't want to loos my control over me when i am angry.
Thanks
[message edited by drgreen203 on Thu, 05 Mar 2015 12:29:19 GMT]
[message edited by drgreen203 on Thu, 05 Mar 2015 16:42:10 GMT]

Thank you very much for your advise, sincere opinion and valuable time. I will try to get the medication asap and will let you know the update. Really appreciate your prompt reply .
I also want to thank Mr. Saimon for the advice. God bless you.


Imran Ahmed

Hello
I took the dose as prescribed. So fer I have not done anything like before. Do you think it's working?
Do I need to take any maintenance dose?
Please let me know.

Imran Ahmed