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Self hatred. Case of Natrum or Lycopodium personality.

I have been depressed since two years. Recently the depression became very severe. A homeopath doctor gave me Ignatia and the depression went away. However, now I am left with a deep sense of self failure and lack of self love and self confidence. My biggest fears are that of failure. I was going through homeopathy psychology and found that either my personality type is that of Natrum or Lycopodium (closer to Lycopodium it seemed). I do not want to live a life where my psychology is constantly and endlessly punishing me for not being "Good Enough". Please help me..

Major symptoms -
- Dark circles around the eyes.
- Bloated abdomen but skinny arms.
- Anxiety when alone.
- Weariness, burn out.
- Can not even do small tasks anymore. Pain even while standing.
- Pain in the lower and middle region of the back.
- Psychological symptoms already mentioned.
 
  Manushya on 2015-08-28
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Is my problem curable? If it does not get fixed, I might see myself committing suicide to escape this psychological punishment of mine.
 
Manushya 8 years ago
information provided by you is not sufficient to say what medicine you need. you will have to provide more information by answering some questions. if you want I can send the questionnaire.
 
telescope 8 years ago
Sorry for the improper information.

Please send the questionnaire sir.
 
Manushya 8 years ago
not improper information but insufficient information.
please answer the following with as much detail as possible.

1 Name
2 Age
3 sex
4 Height and Weight
5 Main problem
6 Any other problem
7 The problem is better or worse from (heat/cold/movement/rest/pressure)
8.Appetite and thirst (excessive/ normal/less) with likes and dislikes for different tastes and food.
9 Preference for climate (hot/moderate/cold/dry/wet)
10 quantity and quality of sleep with preffered position.
11 dreams if any.
12 Perspiration (how much and where)
13 Stool (hard/soft/normal) and frequency.
14 Urine (quantity/colour/frequency) difficulty if any.
15 Describe yourself as a person.
16 Opinion of other people close to you about yourself (extremely helpful to the doctor if provided)
17 Family medical history (parents/ grand parents/brothers/sisters)
18 Treatment taken in the past.
19 present medication if any
20. any other information you would like to provide.
 
telescope 8 years ago
1 Name - Can I keep this anonymous?
2 Age - 26
3 sex - Male.
4 Height and Weight - 5'7. 63 kg.

5 Main problem - Exhausted. Dread from work once I used to love. Am an artist. Was a workoholic. Never stayed satisfied with anything I did no matter how good it was. Now fear from work. Pain and a strange pinching uneasiness between and behind the eyes when I try working. A crushing self hatred has developed. Agony from not being able to actualize potential because psychology is constantly punishing me for not be "Good Enough".

6 Any other problem - Was very focused once. Now ca not focus on work at all. However, can endlessly focus in abstract thinking still.

I get tired immediately. Even small household chores feel like terrible pain. This has made me of a irate personality. Though I never indulge in violence, except for when necessary to stand up to violent bullies.

7 The problem is better or worse from (heat/cold/movement/rest/pressure) - Problem worse in hot environment. Feel a bit easy when I lie down.

8.Appetite and thirst (excessive/ normal/less) with likes and dislikes for different tastes and food.

Appetite and thirst is very less. Has always felt less thirsty. Appetite has gone down too. Feel full even when I have eaten a little. But get hungry soon afterwards.

Used to like sweet food. Now have developed aversion towards that too. Preference towards bland food increased. Tolerance towards sweet or spicy food has reduced a lot.

9 Preference for climate (hot/moderate/cold/dry/wet)

Cold climate preferred. Not freezing cold. But around 17 - 23 degree.

10 quantity and quality of sleep with preffered position.

Sleep a lot. No proper schedule. Have a habit of staying up as long as possible - to read something. Irrational Knowledge hoarding tendency being developed.

Used to love sleeping with face towards the left as a child. After a point of time started seeing nightmares when facing left. Since then I sleep face towards my right, while laying on the abdomen with back side facing the ceiling.


11 dreams if any.

Vivid dreams. Not much logical. Trying to catch a train is a recurring dream off late. Other recurring dream involves me running very fast and then starting to run on all fours like a wild animal.

12 Perspiration (how much and where)

Forehead and back. A lot when I am in hot weather.

13 Stool (hard/soft/normal) and frequency.

Starts hard but becomes Soft and watery. About 2-3 times a day.

14 Urine (quantity/colour/frequency) difficulty if any.

Quantity - lot. Generally yellow. Within 20 minutes of drinking water.

15 Describe yourself as a person.

Easily annoyed due to being over sensitive (not emotional, but sensitive). Self hating because never satisfied with himself. Trying to chase an abstract ideal which is not even possible in reality - to gain a sense of self worth.

I do not enjoy small talks. Have a small quantity of close friends.

16 Opinion of other people close to you about yourself (extremely helpful to the doctor if provided)

In my college and among friends I was very much respected for my work. However, I have a feeling that my parents know me very superficially.

17 Family medical history (parents/ grand parents/brothers/sisters)

Grandfather died of canc*r due to drinking. Father is alive, but has suffered heart attack due to smoking. Mother is always suffering from body pain. Her mother, or my maternal grandmother, has asthma. I too had asthma. But it is largely under control.

18 Treatment taken in the past.

When as a kid I took treatment homeopathy treatment for asthma. Eventually I started playing football and pushing myself and asthma reduced. Now I lack stamina. And get tired immediately.

19 present medication if any

Taking Cauculus Indica for building pressure in the pre frontal cortex region of brain, and strain while keeping eyes open.

Four weeks back I was given Ignatia. It helped me with depression. But the total absence of lack in self confidence is as present as ever.

20. any other information you would like to provide.

I figured that my drive to keep working was a way to find self worth. However, now I understand that I was chasing a concept of myself, and never loved myself the way I am. This is constantly punishing me now every time I sit to work. And has made working unbearable.
 
Manushya 8 years ago
19 present medication

I forgot to add, my homeoapth doctor gave me lycopodium 10M yesterday.
 
Manushya 8 years ago
Another important thing I forgot to mention was that I used to get beaten a lot as a child because I hated studying. I always wanted to go into arts but because of Indian culture it is not a very "respected" or "practical" career, so my mother always discouraged me and used to try to force me to study by beating me up.

I was very naughty too and used to get beaten up regularly.

16 Opinion of other people close to you about yourself (extremely helpful to the doctor if provided)

Forgot to add this bit -

My friends and parents thing I am good at work but very irresponsible about my health and my belongings and the belongings of others.
 
Manushya 8 years ago
This is strangely ironical, but I forgot to add that I have a terrible memory.
 
Manushya 8 years ago
Can anyone help? I do not mean to sound incessant but I am feeling very hopeless.
 
Manushya 8 years ago
you started another thread and another person has responded. you cannot have treatment from two persons at the same time.
 
telescope 8 years ago
Sorry Telescope.

I thought I made a mistake by not giving the required details in the opening post. And concluded that no one is responding to me problem because of that mistake.

Hence ended up creating another thread with revised information.

I did not mean to create confusion.
 
Manushya 8 years ago
it's OK. just drop one thread and continue on the other.
 
telescope 8 years ago

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