Trying to help mom with hot flashes.

Hi!

I'm trying to help my mom, she's 51 and having major hot flashes (menopause). I can't get a lot of details from her about specifics, she's willing to try remedies and stuff, but does not have the patience to answer my questions about specifics. 'Why should it matter if it's worse when when I do this or when I do that or better because of this or that. All I know is I'm having hot flashes and I want them to get better.' Simple and too the point I guess you could say, and just part of her strong willed nature, that she doesn't have time for this crap (as she would say), but she will try things, she just wants to skip the rest, and get right to what she can do/take. HAHA.

Hot flashes at night, always at night, always bad at night, she never complains about them during the day, only in the evening and night. Interrupts her sleep, can only get several hours of sleep. Wants to take all her clothes off. The air can be on, fan on, she's hot, and my dad is saying things like, 'Dear, it's so cold in here, I'm going to have to put my winter jacket on in the middle of summer.' But mom is still super hot!

Strong mentals, and those I can give you just from knowing my mom, not having to ask her. She's VERY IMPATIENT, resltess, can't sit still for very long, has to be moving around, doing something. Tends to fly off the handle, lose her temper, get stressed out very easily. Nit picky, fault finding. Very quick to point out the faults of others (at least family anyway). Very strong willed. Very intuitive, picks up on things, always knows everything, can't hide anything from her, yet she totally denies anything spiritual, doesn't feel there is anything like God, etc. Everything is physical. Very meticulous about money. If she gets overcharged by 5 cents, she would drive 20 miles to go back to the store just out of principle. Can be critical, very controlling. My dad (though he thinks he does) has very little say in most matters, usually it's whatever makes mom happy is what happens. Only sometimes does he put his foot down and lay down the law. Usually he has to bang his fist on the table to get mom's attention, then she gets scared and backs down, but otherwise, even when my dad is RIGHT about some issue and mom is clearly wrong, dad has to back down and give in, because he doesn't want mom to be upset. When upset/angry, she will sometimes just stomp aroundd, bang pots and pans, but keep to herself, but only for so long, eventually it comes out what's wrong or who she's upset at. Though she doesn't often contain herself well at all, and even when she doesd, she can't do it for long. She is always right, never wrong, and has a list of things she would like to change about everybody, we all have our lists of things we need to work on, and she reminds us daily. However, if you were to mention to her that one of her areas where she needs improvement is patience, look out, because she doesn't need to change, we just have to deal with it, and if we don't like it, tough. But that same philosophy doesn't work when it's one of our faults, we need to change and that's all there is to it, because she won't deal with it.

She's used to getting her way in everything, and she will try all sorts of things to get her way, and if all that fails, she will just cry, then she gets her way. If she somehow developed the belief that there was no such thing as gravity, no matter how many different ways you showed her that gravity exists it wouldn't matter, she knows she's right and if she isn't right, well then it shouldn't be that way, it should be the way she thinks it should be.

Very opinionated, vocal, never have to know how she feels, you can always tell, and she will always tell you, even when you don't need to be told. People are always out to get her. Someone is always doing this to her type mentality. The least criticism from family and she thinks that we hate her. 'Why do you hate me, why are you doing this to me?' Yet, when she criticizes others, she seems to think that she's doing it out of love. Never lets anybody doing anything around the house because they do it the wrong way, but at the same time complains that nobody ever helps out, that she has to do it all herself.

When she's the most upset at someone, she points a strong mean finger, all the while she's talking. Usually goes on emotional rollercoasters, highs and lows. Gets easily excited about things in a good way, but also in a bad way. No inbetween, her mood is always really up, or really down. Dramatic. Highly intelligent. Yells when upset, (saying the things that are going on, that she's upset about). Like I said earlier, you never have to wonder, and you can always hear when she's upset, because there is all kinds of racket and commotion going on. Rants and raves. She'll get the vacuum out and sweep the entire house, go outside and pull all the weeds, does physical things with her anger, so in that way does healthy things with it. On the other side of the coin, everybody knows to stay away, because you're most likely to get the short end of the stick when she's upset as we take a lot of the blame for her having a bad day. Can be very unreasonable, unrealistic, especially when she wants something to go her way.

Is not a good sport when it comes to games, mopes and broods if she loses. Everybody suffers the consequences. The only way to make her feel better is if you somehow make it seem like you cheated and she won, she really beat you, but it was because of what you did that was not fair to her. Overreacts, and then later when something turns out okay anyway, and you say something like, 'Hey mom, see, you didn't need to get so excited anyway.' She hears you, acknowledges you, might even agree that you're right, but by the time you get down with your sentence she could be getting excited about something else again, not even thinking about the last time. Often asks people things that they just told her. 'MOM, I just told you that.' And she'll say sorry, but later she'll ask you again.

Any thoughts? I had looked at Ignatia and Lycopoduium as they both fit her mentals fairly strongly, but not so sure about the female issues. She doesn't really have any other health issues, complaints. She likes to brag that she's at healthy as a horse, she rarely get sick even when everybody else comes down with the flu or colds and such, she's always the one who is able to resist everything.

Thanks bunches!