Pregnancy bleeding hemrroid!Hello there.
This is my 3rd pregnancy and hopefully 3rd homebirth. I am about 32ish weeks pregnant, I am 40yrs old, all has gone well for the most part except for lots of stress of single parenting and homeschooling this last year while my husband worked 90 hrs a week and we lived in a remote location 1000 miles away.
His job is now finished and we have happily returned home- however away from the 'peace and quiet' which I love and now to much external chaos, anger, confusion, major family emotional upheavals with sisters and father etc. sigh.
Physcially and mentally I would say this:
-recently small hemrroid that went external appeared. First time in my life. Now bleeding!
-despite lots of water and raw foods I have had constipation where I don't have a bowel movement for 2 or even 3 days!
-I am very tired since returning home. tired when i wake up, tired in late am, tired in afternoon. legs ache.
- never one to cry at ALL (I'm usually a rock solid strong person), find myself sad, depressed, hurt feelings and weepy on 2 occassions lately. Frustrated with husband.
- dropped tailgate open of truck on my stomach 3 wks ago full force. Took wind out of me and really hurt. Took arnica, went to emerg to make sure baby was ok. Tests said all 'seemed well'.
-I've gained about 27lbs but feel very heavy and immobile
-since moving home away from ocean my skin is SO VERY dry and itchy all the time (kids too) Nose was crusted with blood for first week home.
-also hands flared up a month ago in eczema 2 days after moving home (hasn't done it in many years!!! cat maybe?) I took some remedies for it and it is gone.
-massive painful leg and foot cramps many mornings between 6-7am, alternates legs
-feel like i have no support or help from family and friends
-trouble breathing when climbing stairs-legs weak
-DISGUSTED and FRUSTRATED with chaos state of house, boxes to be unpacked, laundry etc.
-feel like so much to do in short period of time-not enough time
-want to connect and play with my kids but feel always in kitchen or cleaning or unpacking!!!
-haven't been outside in days.
-Insomnia - I sleep most nights from 8pm-midnight then wide awake from midnight to 3 or 4am then back to sleep for a couple hrs OR up til midnight or 1am! any noise keeps me awake- need quiet!
-am missing my strength and courage for this birth!
-am dreading pain of childbirth
- am afraid there will be blizzard of snow and midwives won't make it
- have dreamed vividly baby died at homebirth due to cord.
-previous births I felt very competent and VERY VERY strong and capable and sure of MYSELF. NOT this time.
What is going on?????? arghhh.
Any help would be appreciated.
wendypape on 2008-12-27
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