Father had a stroke almost 1 year ago

Dr., My father had a stroke November of last year. If affected his left side but he had feeling in his left foot and it affected his speech a little and ability to eat but that was overcame relatively quickly. There is a lot of history here so don't know where to begin. My father lost all his teeth at a young age, was all grey in his late 20's, has smoked all his life and only quite about 6 months ago since he said he throat was so sore that he couldn't anymore. He throat got realy sore he said after they put him on depression and high blood pressure medicine. He is in a nursing home and out of state for me but I hope to get some remedies and send home and visit him in the next couple of months. Just saw him the first part of Sept. and he was very, very angry at everyone, especially my Mom who he is mad that she put him in the nursing home and won't bring him back home. However, he cannot walk, go to bathroom alone and my Mom can't do that for him. From as long as I can remember as a young girl he had allergy symptoms, hives, rashes, migranes, etc. At some point they did allergy tests and said he was allergic to tons of things and he ended up taking allergy shots for some 20 years I guess. For about the last 15 years, after hurting his back and then blaming a chiropractor on making it worse he took to being in his room, curled up in fetal position most of the time, with only underwear or pjs on, worn way low on waist because he says it hurts his belly to be on up high. He would go on just eating one thing and then just drinking one thing, like OJ and then he would eat anything and everything and this has been going on for a long time. He is not an affectionate man, never told me he loved me or any of us that I can recall, didn't hug, never saw any affection shown between him and my Mom. He would make rude remarks about other women's breast size when we would go to beach and then say my Mom looked like a watermelon on toothpicks (saying she had a big belly and little legs). After I left home he would comment on my weight when I came home for a visit, looked like I gained or lost weight. He never liked to deal much much with people, not good with conflict with others, did alot of avoidance. He would have my Mom collect money from people who owed him for work he did on their cars, have us go outside and lie to people driving up in our yard and tell them he wasn't there. He recently lost his Mother who was also in the nursing home and had been for about 8 years. I had never seen my Dad cry and he couldn't stop crying at her funeral. He doesn't like to take medicine and I am in agreement on that one but he is in a nursing home and my Mom thinks he needs some anti-depression medicine. Recently his sodium dropped and they put him in the hospital and put on IV. He is back to nursing home and he was refusing IV or something when it got low again and they were ready to send him to hospital because he was refusing to take it and he finally agreed to do what they said. He hardly eats where when he first was admitted he was eating biscuits, their food, etc., seemed to want to eat but now barely eats, when he does it is soup and he has lost 12 pounds my Mom tells me the other day, he is down to 125. He complains mainly about his shoulder and got mad at the physical therapists because they wanted him to push up on walker to come to standing and he just argues with them about he shouldn't push up on his shoulder, I think it is the Right shoulder. He doesn't hold his head upright, hangs down and this was way before the stroke. He says he feels things jumping in his back. He lost his father when he was late 20 or 30 to a tractor accident. He was out at a new farm and plowing the field and someone came along and found him dead. I don't think they had much of a relationship, his father dranked alot I was told. All his brothers and sisters are very anti-social, seem depressed, not very friendly or loving. Please ask me any questions you have since there is just so much I really don't know how to put it all down. But I think the main thing currently happening is he is very depressed, angry, in pain, refusing to eat, doesn't want to try with therapy, doesn't even want to go outside in sunshine (would go before to smoke a cigarette). Doesn't talk while my family visits him or if he does it is in angry or nasty statements like telling my Mom something she said was just stupid. Sometimes my sister says she is there and he just rolls away on his wheelchair without saying a word on where he is going or saying hi when she comes in the room. She recently called me and he was eating or something so he said he couldn't talk to me, I told her to tell him he was in my prayers and I loved him and he said tell her I am still alive. He used to talk alot about he might not be here tomorrow when we would say goodbye. It is very painful bringing all this up...I guess I am coming to a place that this may be all of the relationship I will have with my father, one of sickness and pain. I really want to just to try and be there and support him through this but really don't know how. I would really like to get him to try some remedies and see if he can find some peace.
Thanks Much!