Overeating Disorder- please help!

Hi there-
I've been helped with my son's eczema on this forum (apis mellica) and so now I am coming here for myself.

Over the last two years I seem to have developed some type of eating disorder where I feel like I have to binge on high caloric/sugar foods like ice-cream on a daily basis. I am able to be controlled for a couple weeks sometimes, but then I find myself eating this way again. It is so troubling obviously because of weight gain, but the thing that bothers me the most is the feeling of not being in control of myself. My actual symptoms are that I crave sugary things and that I can never eat them in balance. I can't have a normal sized portion of dessert- I just want to eat it till I'm sick. The only thing that has really worked so far is total abstinence from carbs and sugar, but this has proven very difficult to actually live 100% of the time- as soon as I give in once, the tendency to completely binge come right back- it really does feel like an addiction and is so scary for me deal with feeling like I have to eat that way. Is there any homeopathic remedy that might be what I need that could possibly address this issue?

I don't know if the following will help but I know the more details you have the better-
I am 30 years old, happily married for 10 years with a 2 year old son. I had a happy childhood that may have been a bit on the strict side but nonetheless very happy and good home (no abuse of any kind) and yet despite this I find that as an adult I do not handle pressure well at all. Whenever I would push myself to do something scary (cold business calling for instance) I found that in the end I became a weaker person, not stronger as people usually say is the outcome. I had some great stress in my life for a time with a painting job I had in someone's home where I got little sleep for several days and worked very hard and was very stressed out and I have never been the same since that time until I found out something was wrong with me (discovered I now had Hashimotos) and was able to get some medication- that is discussed below.

I have always liked being very active (hiking, backpacking) and being outdoors. I like to work hard- my idea of fun is actually shoveling dirt from a trailer into my garden- I love working with my hands and sweating and working hard.

I do have an autoimmune disorder called Hashimoto's (an attack against the thyroid) that seems to have developed and gotten worse over the last 5 years. I take effective medication for this that has helped my energy levels feel normal much of the time now (for about 4 years I dealt with extremely debilitating fatigue when I didn't know what was wrong with me yet. This was very depressing to me because I thrive on being both active and productive and it got to the point where I could no longer do the things I loved like hiking.)

I do not easily get depressed for no reason- it's more that this happens as a result of not being able to do enough physically active/productive things. As long as I'm able to be productive with my labor I feel good.

I have more than 1 autoimmune issue- psoriasis, the hashimoto's which is the worst, I've had alopecia ariata at least 5 times in my life (bald spots that grow back), my eyes are constantly itching all the time now and I don't know why (I do wear contacts and wonder if my body is reacting to them)- it appears my body reacts to many things that it shouldn't. I have already removed gluten from my diet and have found this has made quite a difference in having more consistent good energy.

I do have some other physical things wrong that I am working at to fix- low iron, low Vitamin D, low progesterone.

I used to take Birth Control Pill but have not been on that for over 6 years now. I did have a Mirena IUD put in (form of birth control) that has tiny amount of estrogen, but literally within a few days of having it put my appetite and cravings changed and my bingeing went from very occasional (1x a month maybe) to everyday. I felt like I couldn't get enough to eat. I had it removed 6 weeks later and it took at least 2 months before the feeling of actually being so hungry that I had to eat a lot went away- but the bad habit of overeating has remained.

I can be a type A person at times, I like to organize things and I don't feel peaceful in my home unless it's clean and organized (however- it does get messy on an almost daily basis so I'm definitely not anal about it- but I certainly feel a lot better when things are open and airy and put away).

I don't work outside the home- I care for my son.

We always sleep with our windows and doors open because we can't sleep and get really hot if they're closed. We really need fresh air.

I feel very yucky and lethargic on long car rides (anything more than 1.5 hours) and get a headache and just all around feel crummy. I feel about the same inside any building with forced air- like office buildings or the aquarium.

I gave birth to my son naturally but I was in labor for literally over 100 hours trying to have homebirth- I finally gave in and went to the hospital because I was so exhausted my pain tolerance was completely gone and I could no longer bear it. I myself was given birth to by C-section and my mom also had a very long labor (72 hours) with me.

At heart I'm a pretty perky, outgoing person- I love friends (as long as my energy is good). I'm known to be very silly and I like to be the one to joke a lot in a conversation and make people laugh- but only when it's unplanned and casual. I hate to perform or do anything where I'm put on the spot in front of people. I used to sing in performances and it never got any easier and I always hated it. I know longer do it- it would make me so nervous and give me so much anxiety. My mom didn't understand this for a long time and felt I was being selfish for not sharing my talent and this was difficult for me.

I am the type of person to always qualify things- like when talking to someone i might say 'hey, we'd like you guys to come over for dinner...but if you're busy we totally understand', or 'I was wondering if you could do such and such....but if you're not feeling up to it that's totally fine too.'

I find I'm also trying to get recognition from people- mainly my husband- he is wonderful and sweet a little quiet so I'm always asking questions if he liked something made? or telling him and showing him all the things I accomplished that day (just like a little kid!). I don't know why I do this but I guess it because I feel this need to be recognized as a good person and that I'm working hard or I won't feel as good about myself or something.

I need sunshine and I find that I get easily depressed and lazy feeling in shady areas- there is a vacation cabin in the woods thats very shady and I hate going there even though the rest of my family loves it. I love sunny gardens where things are growing and living- that makes me feel much better.

I've never worked very well in groups- I've done best when I'm in control of the project and do all or most of it myself. I prefer to work this way over say, aiding someone else- it just feels like not enough to keep my mind and body busy when I'm just helping a little instead of getting in there and doing the main job and working hard.

I like to be creative- I've always had some sort of craft hobby from childhood to adulthood- writing poetry as a child but lost interest in that as I grew older and found myself more into building things and creating things that could actually be used- I took 2 years of woodshop, I make quilts, I transformed my entire weeded backyard into a vegetable garden with raised wood beds I made myself.

I had a painting job for awhile and I also used to buy old cheap furniture and repaint it in bright, creative ways and then re-sell it- I was around a lot of paint fumes and never wore a mask or gloves- I think this certainly has to do with triggering my hashimoto's and who knows what else. I did this kind of painting for at least 4-5 years between 20-26 years old.

As you can see I'm a very detailed person- I'd rather give more details than not enough (which I know can be irritating sometimes!) but I'm always eager to make sure people understand what I'm trying to say or for people to know that I understand them.

Anyway- maybe this is a shot in the dark but the thing is I just have no idea WHY I feel so compelled to eat such bad food so much everyday so I don't know how to fix it. I haven't always dealt with it. However, if this helps, I do think whatever the problem is could be partially genetic because the paternal side of my mother were all very large people who ate a lot and my mom says she used to have an eating disorder too. I have heard tales of a 300 pound great-great-great-aunt who used to just sit under a tree eating chocolate all day. I don't think that will actually happen to me but I want to fix where I'm at even now and be in control! Is there something about my personality or body that is imbalanced that a remedy could help fix?

Thank you so much to whoever takes the time read this lengthy post but I so do want to feel better- this is taking away my quality of life and focus I could be using for more productive things.