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Trying to understand 7-year olds behavior

HI all, I'm wondering if a remedy may be helpful
for my daughter.
One of her patterns that seems to repeat often is that she wants us to help her, even though she's quite capable of doing it herself.

For example, this morning we were running late for school,
and we were going to take her toast sandwich so she could eat it on the way.
She wanted me to carry it for her, and when I refused,
she left it at home.
Another time, she didn't want
to bring her school bag in from the car. She absolutely
refused to move unless
somebody else carried it.

Similarly, often at dinner time, she'll sit at the table,
get down, play around, return
to the table, but eat almost
nothing. AN hour can go by and
food is still on the plate. However, if somebody helps her, (hold the fork
and put it in her mouth) she
eats at a normal pace.
I don't think it's laziness,
something else is going on.

She's always been very active,
never still in one place for long. Early to sit up and

Her temper is not too bad, some sibling rivalry (on both sides) with her 15 year old brother.

Physically, she gets a cold
which causes breathing problems at night, some
swelling in the nasal tissues
which lasted for a while on
one occurrence. Because of
some stringy mucus my wife
was able to extract, I gave her Kali Bich which helped
clear it up.

Any thoughts of a remedy?
TIA for any info.
  davehasl on 2011-09-26
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Right now you both parents need to ignore her undesirable behaviour & encourage desirable behaviour.
Like, take your own things or let it be. Go to school without bag, tiffin etc. The subtle message is WE ARE NOT YOUR SERVANTS.
Reg eating put the plate & tell her to eat if No it is OK pick up the plate & now food will be in the next meal only.
She will test you both for number of days as to how serious you both are in doing this, then after a few days may be 3-8 days she will start minding her own business without any reluctance.
It is pure manipulation to establish one up position. Never scold or punish, that will give her indirect satisfaction of irritating you.You both the parents & if there are G.Parents need to understand & cooperate.
daktersaab last decade
Interesting answer. I see what you are saying. There may be some parenting issues where we were not as consistent as we could be.

However, saying that, I still
don't think laziness and/or
manipulation is the whole story.

Last night she wanted me to sit with her while she did her homework. I said no, and compromised with her, that I would come and help if she had some problems. She gradually accepted it and called me a couple of times.
Eventually she finished by herself.

At dinner, the family ate together, we had eaten within
15 minutes but she had only had 4 or 5 spoonfuls. She wanted me to continue to sit with her, which I declined. She was left at the table by herself for about 30 minutes, but she ate no further - at which point my wife took the plate away and my daughter went to bed.
davehasl last decade
We can attempt to make a suggestion of a remedy, taking into account the limitations of a medicum like this for treatment of patients.


1. Describe in detail the main problem - appearance, colour, shape etc. What happens, when it happens etc.

2. Describe any pains or behaviours associated with the symptoms.

3. Describe anything that makes the problem worse ie. position, temperature, food etc.

4. Describe anything that makes the problem better ie. pain is better for cold bathing or at night in bed.

5. Go through each symptom or problem he/she has, doing the same thing, even if the problem does not seem connected to any others.

6. When did each problem start? What happened around that same time?

7. What is his/her character like? What kinds of fears or anxieties does he/she have? What makes him/her irritable? Flesh out his/her personality as much as you are able (age can make this difficult)

8. What foods does he/she crave or hate? What drinks does he/she crave or hate? Is he/she sensitive to anything he eats or drinks? How does he/she feed?

9. How does the weather or season or temperature affect him/her?

10. How have all his/her milestones gone? Does he/she have any issue with speaking, learning, walking, climbing etc

11. How is he/she with socializing with others?

12. What is his/her bowel habit like? Any problems? Any odours, strange colours or stool shapes?

13. Where does he/she sweat? Does it have a smell or does it stain a particular colour?

14. History of illnesses in his/her life?

15. Has he/she reacted to any vaccines or medical drugs?

16. Problems with sleep? Position he/she sleeps in?

17. How is he/she with animals?

18. How is he/she with adults or strangers?

19. What is the family history of illness and disease?

20. What was the pregnancy like? Any odd symptoms or feelings that disappeared once he/she was born? Any symptoms that were problematic? What kind of stresses were you under?

David Kempson
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Dear davehasl,

I very much appreciate your approach. Thank you for starting to implement my suggestions. This is just the beginning.I can very well understand the pain that parents undergo when our kid has to go hungry.
Please continue the process & have patience as it will take a few days to get thro.I am also happy that your wife also is understanding enough to cooperate in the process.
Pl do reply to David's questions also w.r.t. medicine selection.
Nevertheless,do not stop doing what you are doing.She will test you more & more.
May God bless your whole family with all the best blessings.
daktersaab last decade
P.S.: You may slow down your own speed eating (without telling her) so as to give her a chance to take some more time to eat.That way she will eat sufficient & no guilt on your part.
daktersaab last decade
Hello davehasi,

Long time no see. How is she doing now? Please do give the feedback we would also like to learn.
daktersaab last decade
I haven't forgotten this thread,
but I have been watching her and
trying to see if any progress
is made.
A few days ago, she had some homework, probably 45 minutes-
one hour at the most.
It took her 3 hours. She did
about 20 minutes solid work, then she started to wander.
It's impossible to keep her at
the table. She's distracted,
she jumps down, tried to play
imaginary hop-scotch on the floor, or she runs and skips
backwards and forwards,
one end of the apartment to the other. She sometimes
exhibits this kind of hyper-
activity where she can't stay
focus or still for very long.

When it was close to her bed-time, (2 1/2 hours later)
she was at the table. She had to write 15 sentences
using 15 keywords she was given.
She finally made an effort,
and did all 15 sentences in 15 minutes. So to bed then.

She is 7, but she still occasionally wets the bed,
once a week or so. It's not a sudden thing, she never really grew out of it, except for a roughly 6-month period when she was 3 - it almost
We don't want to consider
prescription meds for her activity or bed-wetting.
We're just dealing with it all the best we can at the moment.
davehasl last decade
Did you want to answer the questions I posed, so I can suggest a remedy?
brisbanehomoeopath last decade
brisbanehomeopath -
Myself and my wife will look
at the questions. I suspect
they will be quite difficult to answer.
Sometimes when you're in the thick of it, you don't always
see the cause and subtle
relationships to things,
but we'll do our best.
I'll have some answers in a few days.
Thanks for responding.
davehasl last decade
dear davehasl,

sorry for the delay in reply as i was away from forum till 15th oct.
as reg your daughter i am able to see a particular trend in her behaviour & i suggest her to be given cypripidium 200c daily one dose at bedtime for just three days only. please continue to treat her as ' undesirable behaviour to be ignored & desirable bheaviour to be encouraged.'
kindly report after a week after giving the above doses.
daktersaab last decade

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