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fear of being hurt in relationship

i tried to find any remedy on the directory here, but cna not fint anything. it is a big, big problem. I was hurt very deeply before and I can not open up to my wife. Our relationship got worst to worst. Simple rejection of my wife, make me feel (not consciously) abandoned. I escape into porn and masturbation (not telling here).
in recent weeks it has been wonderful our relationship, but then something inside tells me or make me to do things (masturbation or anger towards my wife) that destroy the harmony..:S

my heart is clogged and locked..:S

can someone help? I hope there is somehelp with homeopathy, as I can not afford a therapist..
 
  forestsummer on 2012-01-17
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
I will take on your case if you are willing to go through the process of homoeopathic case-taking.

GUIDELINES FOR GIVING HOMOEOPATHIC CASE INFORMATION

It is important to describe all your problems in as much detail as you are able. One word answers and short sentences are not particularly helpful. Discuss each problem one at a time, providing (as a minimum level of detail) the following information.

1. What exactly happens?
2. Describe all sensations and pains. Each pain or sensation should be described in such a way that allows us to imagine having the same pain.
3. What causes the problem to get worse after it has started occurring?
4. What creates some relief for the problem?
5. What triggers the problem into occuring?
6. What time of the day or night does the problem occur?
7. When did the problem start? What was happening in your life at that time? Did some specific event or treatment take place just before the problem started?

Move from one problem to the next, doing the same thing. IT IS VITAL THAT YOU GIVE A COMPLETE PICTURE OF YOUR HEALTH BY PROVIDING ALL PROBLEMS YOU HAVE, EVEN IF NOT CONNECTED TO THE MAIN ONE, AND EVEN IF YOU CONSIDER IT OF LESS IMPORTANCE.

You should address each problem separately using the above 7 questions as a guide. Do not put all your complaints into each of the 7 questions. Discuss one problem at a time. If you have, for example, a headache with nausea, do each component separately too (what makes the head pain worse or better, what makes the nausea worse or better).

As well as this, please describe any traumatic incidents that have taken place in your life. Discuss anything that has had a lasting impact on you mentally, emotionally or physically.

Discuss the way that you manage or deal with your problems, or any problems that occur in your life.

Discuss any patterns you have noticed in your behavior especially concerning your disease.

Discuss any part of your life where you feel stuck or unable to change and grow, especially where this occurred around the beginning of your disease, or as the disease evolved.

Describe your childhood and the kind of environment you grew up in, with reference to your relationships with your family, your school experiences, and any serious childhood diseases.

If your earlier discussions have not mentioned these already, please describe:

1. The specific foods that you crave (not just like) or hate
2. The specific drinks that you crave or hate
3. What your sleep is like
4. How the weather and the temperature affects you
5. What kinds of things in the environment you are particularly sensitive to
6. What your general level of energy is like
7. What your level of sexual energy or desire is like
8. Describe your menstrual cycle

9. Also give these details

a) Body type and build
b) Skin colour and texture
c) Areas of the body tends to perspire on
d) Odour of sweat, body, stool, flatus, urine
e) Colour of stool, urine, sweat

10. Give any reactions to vaccines or medical drugs

As well as answering these questions, can you expand on a few things you have already mentioned.

Describe more on:

The experience of being very deeply hurt. Not what happened, just what you felt and how you coped with it.

Clogged - give the meaning of this word, the sensation of it, the experience.

Locked - again give the meaning, the sensation, the experience. Use images to explain these words if you can.

David Kempson
Professional Classical Homoeopath
Dip.Hom.Med.1994
 
brisbanehomoeopath 8 years ago
Dear DAvid, thank a lot for your offer. I really appreaciate it and your instructions give me some structure to think of the issues. Can I send to your email the information? as it feel it a bit more private V
 
forestsummer 8 years ago
Email is not a suitable way to engage me as a practitioner. I work here on the forum or I work face-to-face in my own clinic.

I understand your reticence, as this forum is very public.

If it is at all helpful to you, I am in no way interested in the story of your life. You can leave out all personal details. You do not need to tell me anything about what has happened to you.

You only need to describe the experience of the events, while leaving out the events themselves. What did you feel, what did you think, how did you react, how did you cope?
[message edited by brisbanehomoeopath on Wed, 18 Jan 2012 00:48:56 GMT]
 
brisbanehomoeopath 8 years ago
dear david, i understand, i waited the situation to happen again. see my comments below

1. what exactly happens? i have a discussion with my wife. i always she is not able to discuss, but perhaps its me. i withdraw, unable to talk proper through issues. want to have right, not able to see her point very often, i am very stuborn. the rejection, not being about to control (?) makes me to withdraw and only masturbation gives relief. since my first sexual relationship this has been the case.
2. describe all sensations and pains. each pain or sensation should be described in such a way that allows us to imagine having the same pain.
my heart feels numb perhaps, but to be honest i am not so sensitve, i do not feel anything. i do not know what the feeling of rejection by my wife makes me physically feel like. i have also difficulties to describe symtphons at the doctor.
3. what causes the problem to get worse after it has started occurring?
being allone; being left allone, person/wife is leaving; not finding solution (perhaps not getting what i want)
4. what creates some relief for the problem?
going in room allone and watch porn and masturbate.
5. what triggers the problem into occuring?
being rejected, being left allone, being not accepted by others, not getting what i want (?)
6. what time of the day or night does the problem occur?
no specific as far as i am aware of.
7. when did the problem start? what was happening in your life at that time? did some specific event or treatment take place just before the problem started?
i can conciosly remember since my first relationship, about 15 years ago. i can only remember that at one point i started to masturbate, as in this relationship. it could be a simple lack of love i needed was not given. (i have expectations of love and they are not fullfilled, have never been perhaps. i started masturbation since i was 11 or 12. can not say directly, but around that time my grandpa died, who i loved dearly. it could be, that being left allone was manifested there. i have pneumenia after the death of my grandpa.



1. the specific foods that you crave (not just like) or hate
crave: salt, fatty things, cheese (but i weaned myself off)like crisps, mayo on bread etc, crave bread too, dislike: fruits (make my teeth feel sour and painfull),
2. the specific drinks that you crave or hate
hate: cold water (sensitive on teeth), likes: milk (but weaned myslef of very hard, as it think its not good for me
3. what your sleep is like
terrible, i work at night< so i do not get proper night time sleep. but i established a pattern and go to bed almost at the same time
4. how the weather and the temperature affects you
love heat and cold (cold only if sunshine), but do not like go out at fresh air, sitting often in house fo rlong time< although i like gardening
5. what kinds of things in the environment you are particularly sensitive to
noise and light for sleeping, to much going on in house/room makes me crazy, eg. child, lots of people around. if someone at work is asking me something, and it is a problem for the first time i encounter, i am getting nervous and panic(!!!)
6. what your general level of energy is like
low, sleepy often< could stay all day in bed, no motivation from inside
7. what your level of sexual energy or desire is like
not with partner, i need partner to be active, if partner is active i am active. masturbation could happen every day.
8. describe your menstrual cycle

9. also give these details

a) body type and build
dont know if you need< i can find out. i am tall< 6ft7, was slim and now weight 20kilo too much, 115kilo, 95kilo was idela weight for long time. i have fat around belly, lots at the back/kidney area
b) skin colour and texturen
normal; tiny red spots in different places, bright red; dry skin; hand inside has white spots under the skin;
c) areas of the body tends to perspire on
no sweating at all or very difficult, i was last time in sauna, only in the area of belly and back where fat is i was sweating
d) odour of sweat, body, stool, flatus, urine
not aware of odour of sweat, body has stinky, frowsty smell, after sleeping, the room has also a sweet smell after sleeping< it makes me want to open window (usually i dont ike to open the window), stool: changes, i have done some liverflushes and it is very soft after it for a while and then it became sticky and dark, very fatty food makes stool pale flatus: bad after cabbage or protein rich food, protein rich food, such as nuts creates smell of fool eggs, urine: sometimes very smelly, especially if i hold my hands on the kidneys, otherwise clear, has a light sweet smell i thought recently, but not sure. my sense are totally confused i feel
e) colour of stool, urine, sweat
colour stool: dark, urine: weak/pale, sweat: can not say
10. give any reactions to vaccines or medical drugs
not aware of, but i feel vaccines knocked system out of balance> i feel drugs do not work on me.

the experience of being very deeply hurt. not what happened, just what you felt and how you coped with it.
feeling lonely, coping only by withdrawing and being allone. or getting anrgy. but this was in the past< i have my anger under control now and just withdraw. sometimes i can also cope by hurting the other person back with words, at times when there was anger< i had feelings of wanting to kill the other person.

clogged - give the meaning of this word, the sensation of it, the experience.
numb, stiff, can not embrace.
locked - again give the meaning, the sensation, the experience. use images to explain these words if you can.
see above and i can not hug the person, it seems to take all life out of me, all positive things< she seems to drain me with the words of rejection, if you think love is an energy in us, that makes us happy< vital< full of life< this is drained out of me.


i hope i did not write too much and too confused. it is really difficult for me to understand and describe the symphtons as i wrote above. sometimes i think i am mad, because i can not understand or put it into words what i experience.. it sems as if a link between experience and producing words is missing...i love to write, but this often creates problems..


i hope it can all help, i am very grateful for oyur help, as i could not afford it and it clearly brings me back to scratch every time. it affects my life a lot and this of other people in a negative way..

thanks a lot

volker
 
forestsummer 8 years ago
Ok the remedy I would like you to try is Nat-mur. Get the 200th potency (so that is Nat-mur 200).

INSTRUCTONS FOR SPLIT DOSING

Firstly, you need to create a separate dosing bottle. Get a bottle with a dropper, 15-30mls in size, and fill it with a mixture of water and alcohol (5 parts to 1 part). Dissolve 2 granules or 2 drops of the medicine you bought from the pharmacy into this mixture. Your doses will be made from this bottle.

Hit the bottle firmly against the palm of your hand, or another elastic surface like a book. It should be a firm hit not a tap. 2 hits is enough to begin with, and should not be increased unless it is clear that it is needed. The water in this bottle will 'remember' the number of times you have hit it, so that subsequent doses will be stronger (necessary to overcoming the resistance of your disease).

Place 1 drop into an amount of water 1/4 of a cup is enough to start with. Stir thoroughly and take 1 teaspoon into the mouth. Throw the rest of the cup away. Clean this cup but keep it aside for possible repeat doses.

This is one dose. Repeat doses would be started from the 2 hits on the bottle.

Each step of this process can be adjusted to reduced aggravation or to increase the effect of the medicine. In order to be able to do this, it is important to measure each step (count the hits, the drops, measure the water etc).

Take one dose only to begin with and report back to me after 5 days.
 
brisbanehomoeopath 8 years ago
when I read this, this is so amazing with hpathy..:) thank a lot. I eneed to get the remedy first, I will report back in 10 days perhasp.

One question, I was taking aurum met 20x with ferrum meteor 20x. Subscribed by a antroposphical doc 6 months ago. it was to be taken to strengthen the body. Should I stop for a while? or can I continue taking it?
 
forestsummer 8 years ago
You must not mix medicines. Whoever was prescribing our medicines for you was not doing so according to our philosophy so it is risky and you may get side effects from them. You should stop regardless.

Our medicines are powerful and should not be used like that. They can seriously damage your health.
 
brisbanehomoeopath 8 years ago

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Information given in this forum is given by way of exchange of views only, and those views are not necessarily those of ABC Homeopathy. It is not to be treated as a medical diagnosis or prescription, and should not be used as a substitute for a consultation with a qualified homeopath or physician. It is possible that advice given here may be dangerous, and you should make your own checks that it is safe. If symptoms persist, seek professional medical attention. Bear in mind that even minor symptoms can be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, and a timely diagnosis by your doctor could save your life.