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Sepia problems in sensitive male

I have been suffering from bouts of depression since age 15 (in my fifties now). After years of unsuccessful trial of rx antidepressants, and herbals I have been self-treating with various homeopathics for the last several years, on and off.

My latest escapade has been with Sepia. I took 30c for several doses 2 to 3 days apart and received good relief from the sadness and loss of motivation, even a bout or two of euphoria, which was a nice change...

When that wore off, I repeated the same dose for a total of 4 doses... Just after the 4th I woke up feeling worse than ever. Could not focus, emotionless, like a zombie. I hadn't felt that bad since age 16 when it all started. That horrible feeling lasted 2 to 3 days when the fog slowly began to lift,and I could actually sense myself again... BTW, this sepia regimen was preceded by a single dose of ignatia 30c which caused uncomfortable symptoms which I antidoted with Phos 6c...

I have tried constitutional doses of Lach, Phos, and others with no success.. I am not really concerned about any other symptoms now, except to improve my mood, motivation, and dispositon which has been a life long challenge. I will have periods of remission that typically last 1 to 4 days at a time, perhaps upto 3 to 4 weeks at a time when I am lucky...

SPECIFIC SYMPTOMS:

I have a life long fear of illness, doctors, and truly 'modern' medicine at large(I am a natural physician).

I feel sad, unmotivated, and feel like crying from time to time, with a very negative and pessimistic view of the planet, etc. Increase in anxiety which first starts with 2 to 3 days of extreme fatigue, usually accompanied with a headache that lasts several days, increase in micturation frequncy and duration.. This will then breed a low mood which progresses into a low mood, etc, which can last from days to months... Not fun, especially when you know what is about to occur...

But when I feel 'normal', I am a whole different person, with a positive, carefree, and easy going attitude.

Any help would be appreciated. Happy to provide more details of anything you may need... I have been to half dozen homeopaths over the last 10 years with no success...but I am NOT giving up...

Blessings and thank you in advance
[message edited by wizardone on Sat, 18 Feb 2012 16:57:00 GMT]
 
  wizardone on 2012-02-18
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
I am happy to help out if I am able.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CASE


Go through each problem one at a time giving a full description of what happens, what pains and sensations you get, what makes it worse and what makes it better, the history of the complaint including when it started and what was happening around that time.

Write a separate section for each problem. Cover even the smallest problems you have.

If any of your symptoms occur together, or immediately before or after one another this is important to note as well.

Do not give single word or short sentence descriptions. The more information you give the better I will be able to help.

Do not read up on the remedies and discuss them. Do not attempt to use the Remedy Finder program on this site. Try to keep yourself apart from all the information about remedies on the internet. Such research on your part actually makes it harder to find the right remedy for you not easier.

Whenever you describe a sensation or pain, try to help me to imagine having that same pain. For example, what would have to happen to me to recreate that symptom?

Allow yourself to diverge if you wish. If discussing the problem brings up any emotional or mental issues, then discuss them.

Do not edit your report, except for spelling mistakes. It is important that even if you use the wrong word, you write that. You can correct yourself in the next sentence.

If you have not done this by the time you have covered your problems, discuss the problems you have generally had in your life. What have been the big traumas, the big issues for you? Where have you felt unable to change, where do you get stuck repeating the same behaviours?

Also discuss the issues you might have had in childhood. Talk about your family, your upbringing, your parents. What kind of child were you? What did you fear, what did you aspire to, what do you remember the most?

Lastly talk about the way in which you handle or cope with your problems. What are the patterns that reoccur in your life? How do you find yourself managing your problems, even if it is not successful? To what degree do your problems affect you? How do you think everything will work out in the end for you?

There will almost certainly be more questions from me after this to clarify and to explore further.


David Kempson
Professional Classical Homoeopath
Dip.Hom.Med. 1994
 
brisbanehomoeopath 9 years ago
Thank you for agreeing to take my case, David...

Feelings of insecurity, apprehension, alternating with sadness and brief moments of relief. Feeling unmotivated, and teary-eyed, moving to feelings of anger and rensentment; feeling like I've been slighted, over-looked, taken advantage of by others most of my life. Feeling of pessimism about everything, complaining about my plight, judging others harshly. Nothing seems right of fair, feelings of personal and global injustice. These feelings vasilate from very intense to neutral to occasional feelings when they do not exist at all. It's literally as though I can feel my serotonin levels cycling back and forth. Fear of illness and medical system with hypochnriac tendencies that seem to vanish when mood improves

Better, but not necessarily gone when I am working on something that stimulaytes me; a new biz idea, writing my book, thinking about sex, or when I am forced to function left brain logic while at work, or with a clinet, or talking with a family member.

Worse when I am alone, left to my own thoughts we seem to somehow get trapped into old rut of rumination and negativity. Worse when I feel like I have to perform and produce and be normal. Less intense when I know that I don't have to do anything. Better when I a have a cold or bug, or someother minor setback that doen't require me to be a certain way. Better just before I have to physically go do something or after shower or my mornining walk. Generally better when I forced to perform some mental task, but not always.

Sex drive running from very high to neutral to not interested. Tend to have a high drive, but this is clearly serotonin deoendent.

Although I have always been emotionally and energetically sensitive, all of thsi seemed to start after a 2 week-long fever/viral illness at age 15. After that, bouts of lowness, inability to concentrate, lack of desire for anything in life. These feelings would last for periods of several months upto eighteen months at a time and was quite devastating for someoen like myself who is so intense and driven (double aries)... This would be followed by very short periods of remission, lasting from several hours usually upto 2 3 days at a time.

These chemical changes seem to come about in a very distinct patter, which has been occuring in the smae manner since agre 16, maybe earlier. Usually, but not always intiated by a combination of alcohol (not in excess) and certain spicey/foods or spices, usuallu but not laways after eating out. Within 24 to 48 hours, increases in mucturation, accompanied by voraciouis gas. Shortly after a headache, usually above right eye, radiating to back of head and becoming mor global. Headache will last 1 to 3 days. This is quickly followed by extreme physical and mental fatigue, which feels oddly comforting, and lasts about 2 to 3 days. All of this will be followed by intense food cravings, especially sugar. In fact, when my mood drops quickly or intensely, I quickly become hypoglycemic and very hungry, but not always... After that, the 'low' feelings begin and I insidiously drift into lower and lower states of mind over a period of several days to weeks. This scenarios has played out upto half dozen time per year, or more. Now in my fifties, these types of episode seem to occur less frequently, but will still last weeks to months at a time with only brief moments, ie several hours to 1 to 4 days of feeling more normal, interspursed with even several hours of ephoria, or feeling quite confident, motivated. Can;t tell if that is the normal me or an unrealistic emotional high (what a treat!) Feeling of insecurity and inadequacy are quite prominent, with

A bit of history. I am the oldest of 4 children. My father was the only survivor of his family from the holocaust and we lived under that horrible emotional umbrella feeling much of his pain and sorrow.

Coping mechanisms have been in staying very business with things that stimulate me, making real estate investments, starting businesses, buying a new car, sometimes in what could be considered excessive, but not to the point of problematic. I will have a beer or 2 several nights a week whcih will also help. I do not and will never do any illicit drugs. I almost pride myself in the fact that I can handle this type of pain, that I am strong enough to learn and survive all of this, almost as though I deserve this pain... But now I am ready to break loose from all of that

I feel as though I could have/should have been much more sucessful, creative, and prolific in my writing, my business, my other endeavors had I not been plagued with these life-long issues. This makes me very sad.

I will have a strange sensation o f pressure and fullness and tension in my forhead and cheek and jaw when I get low, and this completely dissapears when this mood lifts. It's as though I am a completeley different person when all of this subsides... Also for what its worth, I would call this condition dysthymia and/or what is described in the literature as Gilbert's syndrome.

I am certain there is much more you will need to know. As you know it will be easier for me to answer your specific questions than for me to continue rambling here.

Thanks for taking the time to read this...
 
wizardone 9 years ago
Rambling is actually a very useful part of the case-taking process. It provides many access point for going deeper into the case.

Ok I will list some words, phrases or expressions that you have used that might help you to progress further. I want you to do three things with each one if you can.

1. Give me the meaning of the word. Give me similies for that word. Don't use a thesaurus or dictionary to do this - it must come off the top of your head. I am not looking for a correct answer, but a personalized one from you.

2. Give me the experience of that word or phrase. Explain how it feels to you, what it like to have it. Don't tell me the story behind it, just describe exactly what it is like when it happens.

3. Give me the history in your life where this word or phrase or experience was relevent. If you have already done that in your previous post you don't need to do it again, unless you have more to tell me. Often new things can appear when you think about it again though.


Taken advantage of

Overlooked

Insecurity

Pessimism

Thoughts get trapped

Lack of desire for anything

Euphoria

Emotional umbrella


That will do for the moment, I will see what comes out of that.
 
brisbanehomoeopath 9 years ago
. give me the meaning of the word. give me similies for that word. don't use a thesaurus or dictionary to do this - it must come off the top of your head. i am not looking for a correct answer, but a personalized one from you.

2. give me the experience of that word or phrase. explain how it feels to you, what it like to have it. don't tell me the story behind it, just describe exactly what it is like when it happens.

3. give me the history in your life where this word or phrase or experience was relevent. if you have already done that in your previous post you don't need to do it again, unless you have more to tell me. often new things can appear when you think about it again though.


taken advantage of
made a fool of, ridiculed - feels like someone's poking a stick at me- all aspects of my life when i go out of my way to give them my blood and guts and they don't appreciate that

overlooked - unappreciated; they don't or can't see the real me, who i really am and what they are missing, in all aspects of my life- work, relationships, you name it. i want them to see me for who i really am and they just don't have the foresight or insight; maddening at times

insecurity - sheepish; not good enough, feel like i don't fit in or meet up to their expectations; feeling liek i need to second guess every decision i make; how will i be judged, was it right, good enough

pessimism - history of my life, failure is assured- it's too good to be true, it can't be that easy, i couldn't really be that good, i don't really deserve that, i don't deserve that kind of attention and success

thoughts get trapped
rumination - over analyzed, over thinking, too logical,not going with the flow, can't let go, need to prefect the answer before i release it, did i see it the right way, helps me avoid dealing with the emotions of it, so i don't have to feel it

lack of desire for anything
zombie, depressed, too much effort and pain to actually do something because i might not be able to do at well as someone else, why start when i will likely not meet up to anyone's expectations, especially my own, why set myself up for failure, my standars are way too high and i don't want to be judged by others. its easier to have no expectations do nothing, than to experience the pain of not being good enough

euphoria
am i really supposed feel that good. who is that person, i don't know but i love feeling this way. i better enjoy this while i can because i know its going away soon and i'll be relegated to that other more familiar space that i seem to feel so comfortable with, that space where i can hide away and not be judged, poked at, ridiculed, taken advantage of. is euphoria a state of abnormality for me or is this who i really am when i feel that way

emotional umbrella
empathic. i feel everybody's everything, and have all of my life. i take on the feelings of the situations everywhere around me and of everybody around me. i want to help others deal with these issues but i don't want to make them part of me, or maybe i do? i want to help others and i'm willing to negatively affect my own being maybe unconciously to do that. i seem to be wanting to give all of me all the time. i want to be the hero and rescue all those in pain
 
wizardone 9 years ago
So what is your reaction to having a stick poked at you?

What do you feel ridiculed for? What do people make you feel a fool for?

What does it mean to 'give them my blood and guts'?

What do people see if not the real you?

What exactly do you feel is the problem here - what causes you to be so insecure? How are you not good enough? What makes you fail?

What expectations do you have that you don't meet? Are these the same as other people's expectations?

What exactly do you do when you feel everyone's pain or feelings around you? How do you react, how do you cope?
 
brisbanehomoeopath 9 years ago
So what is your reaction to having a stick poked at you?
very irritating. I can get very resentful

What do you feel ridiculed for? What do people make you feel a fool for?
not being able to meet up to their expectations of me

What does it mean to 'give them my blood and guts'?
to come from a sincere, high integrity place with only the highest loving intentions; to do my very best for everybody in every situation

What do people see if not the real you?
I sense many subconsciously feel threatened by someone who vibrates at a higher frequency. They often don't understand what that they're feeling

What exactly do you feel is the problem here - what causes you to be so insecure?

Past life trauma to the max

How are you not good enough? I set very high expectations for myslef without realizing.

What makes you fail?

Subsconsciously feel that I don't desrve to be happy and have success. Almost as though thsi life is supposed to be a mission of mercy... wild.. But from a personality level I feel that this simply is not the case

What expectations do you have that you don't meet?

I want and expect to feel more balanced than I have most of my life. The fact that a good portion of my life so far has not allowed me to live up to my full potential.. So much more that I could do for the Planet, etc...

Are these the same as other people's expectations? I can't be sure. I suppose I expect perfection and hence set up disappointment every time

What exactly do you do when you feel everyone's pain or feelings around you?

I'm an empath. I feel their despair, sadmess, low moods, anger.. you name it


How do you react, how do you cope?

By taking on their low disposition.. Seems to happen very easily, especially when my mood is already low...

What do I use to antidote sepia? As I mentioned I have also used several others over the past year. Sulf, Ars Alb, Ignatia, Lach, Phos Ac, and a few others
[message edited by wizardone on Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:50:08 GMT]
 
wizardone 9 years ago

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