The ABC Homeopathy Forum
Is there a classical homeopathist willing to review my case for a constitutional remedy?
I'm seeking a constitutional remedy but cannot find a practioner in my area. Can somebody help? If so, please post your questionaire.Thank you!
kamikama on 2012-02-18
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CASE
Go through each problem one at a time giving a full description of what happens, what pains and sensations you get, what makes it worse and what makes it better, the history of the complaint including when it started and what was happening around that time.
Write a separate section for each problem. Cover even the smallest problems you have.
If any of your symptoms occur together, or immediately before or after one another this is important to note as well.
Do not give single word or short sentence descriptions. The more information you give the better I will be able to help.
Do not read up on the remedies and discuss them. Do not attempt to use the Remedy Finder program on this site. Try to keep yourself apart from all the information about remedies on the internet. Such research on your part actually makes it harder to find the right remedy for you not easier.
Whenever you describe a sensation or pain, try to help me to imagine having that same pain. For example, what would have to happen to me to recreate that symptom?
Allow yourself to diverge if you wish. If discussing the problem brings up any emotional or mental issues, then discuss them.
Do not edit your report, except for spelling mistakes. It is important that even if you use the wrong word, you write that. You can correct yourself in the next sentence.
If you have not done this by the time you have covered your problems, discuss the problems you have generally had in your life. What have been the big traumas, the big issues for you? Where have you felt unable to change, where do you get stuck repeating the same behaviours?
Also discuss the issues you might have had in childhood. Talk about your family, your upbringing, your parents. What kind of child were you? What did you fear, what did you aspire to, what do you remember the most?
Lastly talk about the way in which you handle or cope with your problems. What are the patterns that reoccur in your life? How do you find yourself managing your problems, even if it is not successful? To what degree do your problems affect you? How do you think everything will work out in the end for you?
There will almost certainly be more questions from me after this to clarify and to explore further.
David Kempson
Professional Classical Homoeopath
Dip.Hom.Med.1994
Go through each problem one at a time giving a full description of what happens, what pains and sensations you get, what makes it worse and what makes it better, the history of the complaint including when it started and what was happening around that time.
Write a separate section for each problem. Cover even the smallest problems you have.
If any of your symptoms occur together, or immediately before or after one another this is important to note as well.
Do not give single word or short sentence descriptions. The more information you give the better I will be able to help.
Do not read up on the remedies and discuss them. Do not attempt to use the Remedy Finder program on this site. Try to keep yourself apart from all the information about remedies on the internet. Such research on your part actually makes it harder to find the right remedy for you not easier.
Whenever you describe a sensation or pain, try to help me to imagine having that same pain. For example, what would have to happen to me to recreate that symptom?
Allow yourself to diverge if you wish. If discussing the problem brings up any emotional or mental issues, then discuss them.
Do not edit your report, except for spelling mistakes. It is important that even if you use the wrong word, you write that. You can correct yourself in the next sentence.
If you have not done this by the time you have covered your problems, discuss the problems you have generally had in your life. What have been the big traumas, the big issues for you? Where have you felt unable to change, where do you get stuck repeating the same behaviours?
Also discuss the issues you might have had in childhood. Talk about your family, your upbringing, your parents. What kind of child were you? What did you fear, what did you aspire to, what do you remember the most?
Lastly talk about the way in which you handle or cope with your problems. What are the patterns that reoccur in your life? How do you find yourself managing your problems, even if it is not successful? To what degree do your problems affect you? How do you think everything will work out in the end for you?
There will almost certainly be more questions from me after this to clarify and to explore further.
David Kempson
Professional Classical Homoeopath
Dip.Hom.Med.1994
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
kamikama last decade
I will start with the physical manifestations of my problem and then lead into the emotional and psycho-spiritual issues and then my personal history/family life & etc and how I feel it all ties together...I can see and feel the underlying current and I need help unraveling it all as I really feel it's time to heal as a whole.
My current physical manifestations are chronic and recurring ductal blockages as I have been nursing my child for 2 and 1/4 years to date. The ductal blockages began in Feb of 2010, after about 4 months of exclusively nursing my infant. At the time, I was really enjoying motherhood but feeling very pressured to meet the demands of my family and friends (I have always felt stressed about meeting what I perceive as demands from others.)My husband and I had recently moved back to the state we originated in, and were staying with my parents. My father was being very difficult at the time, territorial over his house, and always trying to assert his 'power' over my husband and myself. We didn't have the comfortability as guests in his house. I had friends that wanted to get together and I always felt pressured to spend time with them, when I really didn't want to, so I procrastinated my time and then was rushed near the time I had to meet friends. I rushed with pumping of my breastmilk (my dad would walk in on me often times and make me even more stressed and pressured. He was always nosey and had to know what was going on with everybody in the house every moment of the day. It really bothered me, I felt rushed, unrelaxed and upset during pumping.) This is how I became aware of my first ductal blockage on the top, front duct in the right breast. To date, I must have had over 100 ductal blockages recurring in two ducts (the top and the side) of the right breast most often. I have had them occur in the left breast as well...but far more in the right. Once I began to get them repeatedly, I started to search for answers (I am very much a self-helper..always researching, reading and obsessing until I find a solution for myself). I ended up visiting several 'professionals' that I was told would help by my naturopath friend who lives out of state. I visited a naturopath/chiro who did muscle testing and said it was due to candida, wheat and corn allergies. She gave me many herbal supplements to take, all of the tablets which were based in corn derivatives,and it never helped my problems but made them worse. So, I went to a chiropractor and also an acupuncturist to no avail. I began tracing my food consumption with my blockages and I deduced over a period of almost 2 years that I was indeed directly reacting to the consumption of corn and wheat and all derivatives. Thus, an autoimmune response of sorts. After taking all traces of corn and wheat out of my diet...I have been mostly able to control the blockages. I still get them, but far less than I did before, and I even get them from inadvertently sleeping on my belly & etc. The blockages do not hurt unless I let them go too long without releasing the milk myself. I have often used a pin to actually pop out the dried milk blockage from the duct and I have spent countless hours in the shower massaging my affected breast under hot water to help moved the block out. The blockages stress me to the extreme and sometimes I just cry outloud in the shower asking 'why me!?!?! can't I just have some mercy and live a normal life as a nursing mother!?!?!' I have read that some mothers have had success with homeopathic hepar sulph in releasing ductal blockages...I do use that 30c when I get a blockage and it does help to release the blockage after a single dose. I have also used phytolacca 30c for mastitis/infection...I am not sure how it worked for me, but my fevers cleared within 12 hours on a few occasions.
Life has been very difficult for the past 2 years, including for my family, because my fear of blockages has greatly limited my ability to live freely. I am not able to eat anytime for convenience as wheat and corn are underlying every packaged, jarred, canned food in this country. I cook only organically grown food from scratch..everything...and its very stressful and time consuming. It takes my time from enjoying other things and my focus on my toddler. A large part of it, too, is that I lack discipline and I don't schedule my day and utilize my time properly so as to maximize all of my minutes to make my food plan work for me. I feel very exhausted emotionally, spiritually, psychically, physically and I just feel like everything in life is a huge burden. Everything from going places, meeting friends & family, driving in traffic and snow, having fun, doing bills, budgeting, cooking, cleaning. Although I am very articulate and I can present myself to others with enthusiasm, when I have to for social graces, all I really want to do is withdrawl. My body feels depleted physically from being pregnant, and now nursing for 2 & 1/4 years and not really being able to eat a wide range of foods. I am very thin and my hair has grayed and I feel like I look very tired and unattractive...while I used to constantly be praised for my looks/hair/eyes/smile.
There has always been a darkness underneath the good looks and smile, however. A very deep pain that has penetrated every single facet of my life. (Since childhood, I have sought spiritual awareness I think as a self-help tool...trying to find answers and elevate myself from my pain). I was molested by a trusted adult male family member (my father's nephew) through the ages of 6-8. He groomed me, manipulated me, and took advantage of my innocence in a seriously violating way. When I was in the 1st grade, I remember clearly telling myself, 'If I never tell a soul about this, I will be okay.' And I never told anybody until I was about 23 yrs old when I told my mother. On the surface life was perfect for me. I did very well in school until about the 8th grade when I began a co-dependent relationship with a boy. The problems started to manifest then...at the age of 12 or 13. I was sexually active at 13. I was very vain, insecure, jealous, rageful, fearful, co-dependent. I have been married to my husband for the past 13 years, since I was 21. I was very jealous and suspicious of him for many years in the beginning of our relationship. My ego has ruled me...and it has all been very solidly and deeply rooted in fear. I have been crying out for years and years to feel protected, validated and acknowledged by my parents. My relationship has been very strained with my parents for all of my life because I do not feel that they have ever validated me, listened to me or protected me. Still to this day, I feel that my mother doesn't really 'see me,' hear me or acknowledge me as a person. Instead our relationship is detached and defensive and emotional. She takes zero responsibility for my molestation and I don't feel supported by her in any way. I do not trust my father...I feel that he is absent minded, ignorant, and emotionally unbalanced. I feel that my mother is self-destructive by the way that she smokes cigarettes. I think her unwellness is disgusting. I resent both of my parents deeply and I am very critical of myself and them. My troubles with my parents are very raw because I feel a power struggle with them often...they seem to feel that I owe them something when they really owe me something...my childhood back. They're always nagging to see my child in a phony, passive/aggressive way and it just makes me so angry and I feel blocked up and suffocated like I want to scream and breathe but I can't because they'll never hear me or save me.
Some other physical manifestations are puss-filled acne since I was around 19, and eczema on my hands since I was about 24. I have lumbar scoliosis and I used to have lumbar sciatica. Now most of my back pains are thoracic and cervical manifesting on the right side...right shoulder/arm areas. Very painful shooting pains down my right arm to my fingers...only intermittent and relieved by heat and a chiropractor. I have severe allergic reactions to antibiotics...every one I have ever taken. I haven't used them in 16 years. I have allergies to synthetic petroleum products like mineral oil and also to aloe from childhood.
My interests are writing and teaching yoga. I have always been able to acquire a lot of knowledge, and talk a good game, but i'm always way too fearful to take the action of writing a book or teaching yoga. I too deeply fear the opinion of others, fear of failure or making mistakes. So, I don't take action in anything and live, instead, in the shadows of a life I so vividly dream, and actually make up falsely in the face of others. My favorite place to be is beside the turquoise, calm ocean. I lose myself there to the freedom it represents. There I don't feel blocked and unable to release my creativity. Sunshine and warmth make me very happy, I love the smell of an ocean breeze and the enveloping embrace of the humid air. The gentle rustling of the palms, fresh citrus fruit and birds singing. I am worse in both cold dry and mostly cold damp. I can't stand a cool or cold draft and I often run a warm bath to feel comforted. I loathe cold and snow and gloominess. I don't like winter clothes...boots...scarves. I just want to be free and barefoot in a sundress, kissed by the sun. I am hopeful for my future, and I am ready for whole healing...release and freedom from the ties that bind me.
I hope that I have adequately and openly represented myself. Feel free to contact me back for more information. I look forward to hearing your thoughts about the remedy I might need. :) Thank you again!!!!
[message edited by kamikama on Sun, 19 Feb 2012 16:56:07 GMT]
My current physical manifestations are chronic and recurring ductal blockages as I have been nursing my child for 2 and 1/4 years to date. The ductal blockages began in Feb of 2010, after about 4 months of exclusively nursing my infant. At the time, I was really enjoying motherhood but feeling very pressured to meet the demands of my family and friends (I have always felt stressed about meeting what I perceive as demands from others.)My husband and I had recently moved back to the state we originated in, and were staying with my parents. My father was being very difficult at the time, territorial over his house, and always trying to assert his 'power' over my husband and myself. We didn't have the comfortability as guests in his house. I had friends that wanted to get together and I always felt pressured to spend time with them, when I really didn't want to, so I procrastinated my time and then was rushed near the time I had to meet friends. I rushed with pumping of my breastmilk (my dad would walk in on me often times and make me even more stressed and pressured. He was always nosey and had to know what was going on with everybody in the house every moment of the day. It really bothered me, I felt rushed, unrelaxed and upset during pumping.) This is how I became aware of my first ductal blockage on the top, front duct in the right breast. To date, I must have had over 100 ductal blockages recurring in two ducts (the top and the side) of the right breast most often. I have had them occur in the left breast as well...but far more in the right. Once I began to get them repeatedly, I started to search for answers (I am very much a self-helper..always researching, reading and obsessing until I find a solution for myself). I ended up visiting several 'professionals' that I was told would help by my naturopath friend who lives out of state. I visited a naturopath/chiro who did muscle testing and said it was due to candida, wheat and corn allergies. She gave me many herbal supplements to take, all of the tablets which were based in corn derivatives,and it never helped my problems but made them worse. So, I went to a chiropractor and also an acupuncturist to no avail. I began tracing my food consumption with my blockages and I deduced over a period of almost 2 years that I was indeed directly reacting to the consumption of corn and wheat and all derivatives. Thus, an autoimmune response of sorts. After taking all traces of corn and wheat out of my diet...I have been mostly able to control the blockages. I still get them, but far less than I did before, and I even get them from inadvertently sleeping on my belly & etc. The blockages do not hurt unless I let them go too long without releasing the milk myself. I have often used a pin to actually pop out the dried milk blockage from the duct and I have spent countless hours in the shower massaging my affected breast under hot water to help moved the block out. The blockages stress me to the extreme and sometimes I just cry outloud in the shower asking 'why me!?!?! can't I just have some mercy and live a normal life as a nursing mother!?!?!' I have read that some mothers have had success with homeopathic hepar sulph in releasing ductal blockages...I do use that 30c when I get a blockage and it does help to release the blockage after a single dose. I have also used phytolacca 30c for mastitis/infection...I am not sure how it worked for me, but my fevers cleared within 12 hours on a few occasions.
Life has been very difficult for the past 2 years, including for my family, because my fear of blockages has greatly limited my ability to live freely. I am not able to eat anytime for convenience as wheat and corn are underlying every packaged, jarred, canned food in this country. I cook only organically grown food from scratch..everything...and its very stressful and time consuming. It takes my time from enjoying other things and my focus on my toddler. A large part of it, too, is that I lack discipline and I don't schedule my day and utilize my time properly so as to maximize all of my minutes to make my food plan work for me. I feel very exhausted emotionally, spiritually, psychically, physically and I just feel like everything in life is a huge burden. Everything from going places, meeting friends & family, driving in traffic and snow, having fun, doing bills, budgeting, cooking, cleaning. Although I am very articulate and I can present myself to others with enthusiasm, when I have to for social graces, all I really want to do is withdrawl. My body feels depleted physically from being pregnant, and now nursing for 2 & 1/4 years and not really being able to eat a wide range of foods. I am very thin and my hair has grayed and I feel like I look very tired and unattractive...while I used to constantly be praised for my looks/hair/eyes/smile.
There has always been a darkness underneath the good looks and smile, however. A very deep pain that has penetrated every single facet of my life. (Since childhood, I have sought spiritual awareness I think as a self-help tool...trying to find answers and elevate myself from my pain). I was molested by a trusted adult male family member (my father's nephew) through the ages of 6-8. He groomed me, manipulated me, and took advantage of my innocence in a seriously violating way. When I was in the 1st grade, I remember clearly telling myself, 'If I never tell a soul about this, I will be okay.' And I never told anybody until I was about 23 yrs old when I told my mother. On the surface life was perfect for me. I did very well in school until about the 8th grade when I began a co-dependent relationship with a boy. The problems started to manifest then...at the age of 12 or 13. I was sexually active at 13. I was very vain, insecure, jealous, rageful, fearful, co-dependent. I have been married to my husband for the past 13 years, since I was 21. I was very jealous and suspicious of him for many years in the beginning of our relationship. My ego has ruled me...and it has all been very solidly and deeply rooted in fear. I have been crying out for years and years to feel protected, validated and acknowledged by my parents. My relationship has been very strained with my parents for all of my life because I do not feel that they have ever validated me, listened to me or protected me. Still to this day, I feel that my mother doesn't really 'see me,' hear me or acknowledge me as a person. Instead our relationship is detached and defensive and emotional. She takes zero responsibility for my molestation and I don't feel supported by her in any way. I do not trust my father...I feel that he is absent minded, ignorant, and emotionally unbalanced. I feel that my mother is self-destructive by the way that she smokes cigarettes. I think her unwellness is disgusting. I resent both of my parents deeply and I am very critical of myself and them. My troubles with my parents are very raw because I feel a power struggle with them often...they seem to feel that I owe them something when they really owe me something...my childhood back. They're always nagging to see my child in a phony, passive/aggressive way and it just makes me so angry and I feel blocked up and suffocated like I want to scream and breathe but I can't because they'll never hear me or save me.
Some other physical manifestations are puss-filled acne since I was around 19, and eczema on my hands since I was about 24. I have lumbar scoliosis and I used to have lumbar sciatica. Now most of my back pains are thoracic and cervical manifesting on the right side...right shoulder/arm areas. Very painful shooting pains down my right arm to my fingers...only intermittent and relieved by heat and a chiropractor. I have severe allergic reactions to antibiotics...every one I have ever taken. I haven't used them in 16 years. I have allergies to synthetic petroleum products like mineral oil and also to aloe from childhood.
My interests are writing and teaching yoga. I have always been able to acquire a lot of knowledge, and talk a good game, but i'm always way too fearful to take the action of writing a book or teaching yoga. I too deeply fear the opinion of others, fear of failure or making mistakes. So, I don't take action in anything and live, instead, in the shadows of a life I so vividly dream, and actually make up falsely in the face of others. My favorite place to be is beside the turquoise, calm ocean. I lose myself there to the freedom it represents. There I don't feel blocked and unable to release my creativity. Sunshine and warmth make me very happy, I love the smell of an ocean breeze and the enveloping embrace of the humid air. The gentle rustling of the palms, fresh citrus fruit and birds singing. I am worse in both cold dry and mostly cold damp. I can't stand a cool or cold draft and I often run a warm bath to feel comforted. I loathe cold and snow and gloominess. I don't like winter clothes...boots...scarves. I just want to be free and barefoot in a sundress, kissed by the sun. I am hopeful for my future, and I am ready for whole healing...release and freedom from the ties that bind me.
I hope that I have adequately and openly represented myself. Feel free to contact me back for more information. I look forward to hearing your thoughts about the remedy I might need. :) Thank you again!!!!
[message edited by kamikama on Sun, 19 Feb 2012 16:56:07 GMT]
kamikama last decade
PS...
The foods I enjoy and crave are fruits ripe and sweet(all fruits), avocados, and sweet root vegetables like carrots, beets, sweet potatoes, potatoes. I love leafy greens sauteed with garlic like chard, spinach, collards. There could never be too much garlic for me. I also love and crave things like olives and pickles, sauerkraut. Not too salty though.
I do enjoy poultry, but I am very paranoid about it's safety and doneness so I don't cook it often or trust others to cook it properly.
I do not like red meat at all...nor do I like fishy smells or foods like squid, crab, oysters & etc. I can occasionally enjoy a light white fish like cod or grouper, but it has to be fresh. I am paranoid about mercury so I don't eat it now while nursing.
My favorite cuisine is vegetarian indian food...cooked medium spicy. My least favorite cuisine is korean food.
I always wash my foods well...very paranoid about food poisoning. More so, since becoming a parent.
The foods I enjoy and crave are fruits ripe and sweet(all fruits), avocados, and sweet root vegetables like carrots, beets, sweet potatoes, potatoes. I love leafy greens sauteed with garlic like chard, spinach, collards. There could never be too much garlic for me. I also love and crave things like olives and pickles, sauerkraut. Not too salty though.
I do enjoy poultry, but I am very paranoid about it's safety and doneness so I don't cook it often or trust others to cook it properly.
I do not like red meat at all...nor do I like fishy smells or foods like squid, crab, oysters & etc. I can occasionally enjoy a light white fish like cod or grouper, but it has to be fresh. I am paranoid about mercury so I don't eat it now while nursing.
My favorite cuisine is vegetarian indian food...cooked medium spicy. My least favorite cuisine is korean food.
I always wash my foods well...very paranoid about food poisoning. More so, since becoming a parent.
kamikama last decade
Pss...
As for sex drive, it's depleted. (maybe due to lac hormones too). But I almost see it as lowly..of the body when I'd rather be elevating myself spiritually. meditating. reading. contemplating. phiolsophising. writing.
Although I am tired and depleted feeling, I also am firey and easily irritable, impatient, easily angered, burdened, fearful. I have always had these traits, but they were worse in past years. I am more controlled now, but more fearful and paranoid than before. Also disgusted by people who don't eat well, smoke, drink alcohol, and by people who are often sick, coughing. This is worse since having a child. I never used to be overly germ paranoid until my mother exposed my son to the flu at 17 months old and lied to me about it. The neg feelings are strong and consistent, but I do have enlightening moments where all is clear and I am at peace. Overall, I am always focused on self-awareness and trying desperately to find my expression and deep wells of creative flow.
As for sex drive, it's depleted. (maybe due to lac hormones too). But I almost see it as lowly..of the body when I'd rather be elevating myself spiritually. meditating. reading. contemplating. phiolsophising. writing.
Although I am tired and depleted feeling, I also am firey and easily irritable, impatient, easily angered, burdened, fearful. I have always had these traits, but they were worse in past years. I am more controlled now, but more fearful and paranoid than before. Also disgusted by people who don't eat well, smoke, drink alcohol, and by people who are often sick, coughing. This is worse since having a child. I never used to be overly germ paranoid until my mother exposed my son to the flu at 17 months old and lied to me about it. The neg feelings are strong and consistent, but I do have enlightening moments where all is clear and I am at peace. Overall, I am always focused on self-awareness and trying desperately to find my expression and deep wells of creative flow.
kamikama last decade
Psss..
Another part of my personality is that I worry, worry, worry about everything. I worry about money and pay close attention to finances. I don't trust other people easily at all. My husband and I don't go out as a couple because I don't feel there is anybody good enough to watch our child. (My husband feels the same way). I'm very attentive and protective, I only want my child eating organic foods...so i don't give him foods from restaurants or packages or anything of that sort. I don't feel that anybody would be as attentive as I am regarding his meals, his playtime, his overall safety. I worry about public education when it's time for him to go to school as I prefer a private and more complete and creative education for him. All of these worries add to my pressure of feeling like I have to and can control everything in my environment.
Another part of my personality is that I worry, worry, worry about everything. I worry about money and pay close attention to finances. I don't trust other people easily at all. My husband and I don't go out as a couple because I don't feel there is anybody good enough to watch our child. (My husband feels the same way). I'm very attentive and protective, I only want my child eating organic foods...so i don't give him foods from restaurants or packages or anything of that sort. I don't feel that anybody would be as attentive as I am regarding his meals, his playtime, his overall safety. I worry about public education when it's time for him to go to school as I prefer a private and more complete and creative education for him. All of these worries add to my pressure of feeling like I have to and can control everything in my environment.
kamikama last decade
Ok what I am going to do, is pick out some words, phrases or experiences. I want you to expand on those for me. Explain them to me, what it means, possibly using other words, maybe even images.
Don't tell me the story behind them again though. I have that already. I want to understand the meaning of them, the process, the experience of it. Be descriptive, imaginative, colourful.
Blockage, blocked up
Flow
Someone assering power over you, power struggles
Pressure
Being walked in on
Control
Withdrawal
Suffocation
Live in the shadows
Turquoise calm ocean
Depleted
Don't tell me the story behind them again though. I have that already. I want to understand the meaning of them, the process, the experience of it. Be descriptive, imaginative, colourful.
Blockage, blocked up
Flow
Someone assering power over you, power struggles
Pressure
Being walked in on
Control
Withdrawal
Suffocation
Live in the shadows
Turquoise calm ocean
Depleted
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Blockage, Blocked up:
Total Restriction. Paralysis. It's thick and heavy and blocking channels, blocking energy and creativity from moving. It's very fearful and it's in my heart.
There is contribution and real joy and sharing behind the blockage that so desperately wants to come forth but it's too afraid to. There's a loss for words in social settings, even with best friends of 20 years...I don't know what the right thing to say is to sound witty or funny or to feel accepted. I don't want to be laughed at or mocked, so I stay restricted, pent- up, sad deep inside my heart region, heavy. Although my heart is bulgingly full of so much care and so much love and so much compassion for others and for life, I don't give, reach out, extend myself. I'm using safe language, friendly words and I'm asking lots of questions to engage them in stories of themselves so I don't have to reveal weakness, my crippled heart. My laugh is abundant, my smiles bright and are full but I'm not laughing...it's all pretend. Can they notice? I am terrified, trembling, and literally paralyzed.
Flow:
Fluffy and pillowy dreams, fantastical, colorful stories, vibrant spiritual energy, rainbows and pink and turquoise butterflies. Ease and relaxation, complete unity, comfort and all-knowing. Flow is the turquoise ocean. It's a feather caught up in a breeze, floating, dancing, soft and easy and light. It lands gently and then gets swept back up into the current...zero resistance. It's me being completely filled with a creative, amazing story and it flows through me and on to paper with ease. In flow, I am creative, expressive, artistic and abundant with ideas. I write every day and I can adequately channel into words and express all of the magic I see around me.
Someone asserting power over me, power struggles:
It's resistance. I'm thinking I know more than another and not trusting the intentions of another. It's a defense mechanism. They can't control me...they can't tell me what to do when they don't know what the hell to do with themselves. Their lack of self-control, their addictions prove it. They are wrong, they have betrayed me. They are phony and I can see it.
Pressure:
Somebody has expectations of me. They want me to do what I'm resistant to doing. I don't feel like extending myself and they are making me feel pressured to do so. I can't move fast enough. I am not stealth enough. I am overwhelmed and the anxiety is boiling over in my gutt. It wants to explode. I am nervous and I want to scream. I feel like I have a gigantic elephant in the room staring at me...watching me...waiting on me...judging me. I lash out at it, but it's unaffected. It still stares at me, disappointed in me.
Being walked in on:
My privacy is violated. I am violated. My boundaries are not respected. I am left vulnerable and I've been seen. I feel yucky.
Control:
I am safe. Within the safety, my life is predictable. I have 'strength' under control. Even if I don't believe I have control, I will make sure they know I am in control. I know what to expect. If I'm safe, they can't hurt me, judge me. If I control them, then they are doing things the right way and I know what to expect out of them. I don't have to be burdened with their way.
Withdrawl:
Unburdened. It's relieving but it does not feel good. It feels alone, isolated, sad. I'm on the outside looking in. I want to be with them in unity, I want to love them without reserve and I want them to love me, but I'm separated.
Suffocation:
I'm breathless. They don't hear me. I have to elevate my voice louder to make them hear me. The more I push out the words with force, the more constriction and squeeze I feel. If I don't scream out, I fear they won't understand me...they won't know my suffering. They won't acknowledge me. I'm lightheaded like I could black out. My heart is palpitating...racing...I'm struggling to be heard.
Living in the shadows: My manifested life is not representative of my dreams, goals, hopes. There is separation and I am stranded out there in the dark shadow of what I know I am and can be. I'm stuck living in the void of light, the pain...the place I was harmed...around the people who have betrayed me. I want to live in the light where I am free, out of the dark shadows of my past.
Turquoise calm ocean: Freedom.
It's vast and whole...the gentle lapping waves are the same as the whole. They are not separate or void. They give way and they roll in gently and easily without resistance, without restriction. They are subtly powerful...there is great strength in the sea...but it is soft and humble. It splashes and trickles and always drifts back into the whole with total ease. It reflects light that dances and sparkles on it's surface. It's turquoise and vibrant and serene and it calms me...bestills my aching heart. Reminds me of how I can be whole too. I forget my troubles in it's vastness...it soothes me...envelopes me...whispers to me. It's warm and surrounding. It stills my mind. The color turquoise bonds with my soul. There I am healed.
Depleted:
My energy to struggle, defend, judge, criticize, complain, blame, suffer, cower in fear, paralysis, live in anxiety, and worry in paranoia is completely and utterly exhausted. I don't have any more energy for any of it, for breast blockages, for emotional blockage, for feeling suffocated, for not feeling free and strong and whole. It feels as though I can't handle one more minute of this momentum. I feel malnourished, hungry for heavier food. I'd like some fresh bread. A wilted flower.
Total Restriction. Paralysis. It's thick and heavy and blocking channels, blocking energy and creativity from moving. It's very fearful and it's in my heart.
There is contribution and real joy and sharing behind the blockage that so desperately wants to come forth but it's too afraid to. There's a loss for words in social settings, even with best friends of 20 years...I don't know what the right thing to say is to sound witty or funny or to feel accepted. I don't want to be laughed at or mocked, so I stay restricted, pent- up, sad deep inside my heart region, heavy. Although my heart is bulgingly full of so much care and so much love and so much compassion for others and for life, I don't give, reach out, extend myself. I'm using safe language, friendly words and I'm asking lots of questions to engage them in stories of themselves so I don't have to reveal weakness, my crippled heart. My laugh is abundant, my smiles bright and are full but I'm not laughing...it's all pretend. Can they notice? I am terrified, trembling, and literally paralyzed.
Flow:
Fluffy and pillowy dreams, fantastical, colorful stories, vibrant spiritual energy, rainbows and pink and turquoise butterflies. Ease and relaxation, complete unity, comfort and all-knowing. Flow is the turquoise ocean. It's a feather caught up in a breeze, floating, dancing, soft and easy and light. It lands gently and then gets swept back up into the current...zero resistance. It's me being completely filled with a creative, amazing story and it flows through me and on to paper with ease. In flow, I am creative, expressive, artistic and abundant with ideas. I write every day and I can adequately channel into words and express all of the magic I see around me.
Someone asserting power over me, power struggles:
It's resistance. I'm thinking I know more than another and not trusting the intentions of another. It's a defense mechanism. They can't control me...they can't tell me what to do when they don't know what the hell to do with themselves. Their lack of self-control, their addictions prove it. They are wrong, they have betrayed me. They are phony and I can see it.
Pressure:
Somebody has expectations of me. They want me to do what I'm resistant to doing. I don't feel like extending myself and they are making me feel pressured to do so. I can't move fast enough. I am not stealth enough. I am overwhelmed and the anxiety is boiling over in my gutt. It wants to explode. I am nervous and I want to scream. I feel like I have a gigantic elephant in the room staring at me...watching me...waiting on me...judging me. I lash out at it, but it's unaffected. It still stares at me, disappointed in me.
Being walked in on:
My privacy is violated. I am violated. My boundaries are not respected. I am left vulnerable and I've been seen. I feel yucky.
Control:
I am safe. Within the safety, my life is predictable. I have 'strength' under control. Even if I don't believe I have control, I will make sure they know I am in control. I know what to expect. If I'm safe, they can't hurt me, judge me. If I control them, then they are doing things the right way and I know what to expect out of them. I don't have to be burdened with their way.
Withdrawl:
Unburdened. It's relieving but it does not feel good. It feels alone, isolated, sad. I'm on the outside looking in. I want to be with them in unity, I want to love them without reserve and I want them to love me, but I'm separated.
Suffocation:
I'm breathless. They don't hear me. I have to elevate my voice louder to make them hear me. The more I push out the words with force, the more constriction and squeeze I feel. If I don't scream out, I fear they won't understand me...they won't know my suffering. They won't acknowledge me. I'm lightheaded like I could black out. My heart is palpitating...racing...I'm struggling to be heard.
Living in the shadows: My manifested life is not representative of my dreams, goals, hopes. There is separation and I am stranded out there in the dark shadow of what I know I am and can be. I'm stuck living in the void of light, the pain...the place I was harmed...around the people who have betrayed me. I want to live in the light where I am free, out of the dark shadows of my past.
Turquoise calm ocean: Freedom.
It's vast and whole...the gentle lapping waves are the same as the whole. They are not separate or void. They give way and they roll in gently and easily without resistance, without restriction. They are subtly powerful...there is great strength in the sea...but it is soft and humble. It splashes and trickles and always drifts back into the whole with total ease. It reflects light that dances and sparkles on it's surface. It's turquoise and vibrant and serene and it calms me...bestills my aching heart. Reminds me of how I can be whole too. I forget my troubles in it's vastness...it soothes me...envelopes me...whispers to me. It's warm and surrounding. It stills my mind. The color turquoise bonds with my soul. There I am healed.
Depleted:
My energy to struggle, defend, judge, criticize, complain, blame, suffer, cower in fear, paralysis, live in anxiety, and worry in paranoia is completely and utterly exhausted. I don't have any more energy for any of it, for breast blockages, for emotional blockage, for feeling suffocated, for not feeling free and strong and whole. It feels as though I can't handle one more minute of this momentum. I feel malnourished, hungry for heavier food. I'd like some fresh bread. A wilted flower.
kamikama last decade
Very interesting so far. There are some fascinating expressions you have given. You seem to be describing something specific here. I wonder what it is?
Tell me what allows others to violate a person's boundaries, to betray them, to harm them?
What is the problem with being separated from the group, for anyone?
Describe more on this experience - 'Can't move fast enough, not stealthy enough, I've been seen'.
Describe more on 'Strength under control'.
Tell me what allows others to violate a person's boundaries, to betray them, to harm them?
What is the problem with being separated from the group, for anyone?
Describe more on this experience - 'Can't move fast enough, not stealthy enough, I've been seen'.
Describe more on 'Strength under control'.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
I feel that an extremely sensitive, childlike person who feels insecure and doesn't have a foundation of self-confidence, and faith in one's self (and basic coping abilities) is of a mentality to feel violated and betrayed by others. It's somebody who doesn't have their feet firmly planted because they are too afraid to stand on solid ground. They want to expect others to take care of them and do it for them.
I am still a little girl cowering in a corner waiting for somebody to rescue me. As my ego has developed through adolescence, being 'saved' or 'rescued' has become an expectation that has never been fulfilled(logic tells me that nobody can rescue me, but me)...and I perhaps am still too emotionally immature to really accept truth and 'grow up.' In other words, 'it's a princess syndrome.' Wanting to be babied and cared for while blaming others (friends and family) for everything.
Separated from the group:
I think that being an individual and 'separated from the group' is a good thing and definitely a desired trait when it's somebody who is comfortable in one's own shoes, who is independent and confident and living with humility and equality. But in the context of me..and my emotions...it's not confidence and it's definitely not humble. It's a self-separation due to ego thinking I am either better than or less than another human being...But not equal. It's me separating myself from the whole of humanity in an apathetic way as if my 'problems' are so much worse than somebody else's 'sufferings.' That I must be so much more all-knowing than somebody else because of everything I have 'gone through.' When im not acting all imperious and treating everybody like they're stupid fools, then I am acting like a baby because I am feeling threatened by somebody's success or joy or happiness & etc and I want others to give me the attention that they are getting.
Can't move stealth enough:
I think that I am just a methodical person and that is how my mind operates. I do one thing at a time (and I often obsess over being sure things are done perfectly). Others appear to be so much more effective than I am because I get so hung up on doing things perfectly and it slows me down. So I feel threatened and competitive.
With an emotional state that is immature, I am resistant to being an adult and doing all of the things that adults do. I procrastinate because I expect somebody to magically do everything for me. Then when time runs out and I have to be somewhere important where others are waiting for me & etc...I am always late because I procrastinated all day and then had to rush (when I am a more methodical person by nature) so I get angry and stressed out...and blame them rather than taking a look at how I could have managed my day better.
I've been seen:
I think it means that my friends and loved ones know how I am because my behavorial patterns are always the same, and they have stopped taking me seriously. I'm way more transparent than I think!!
Strength under control:
It's thinking that appearing to be in control makes me seem stronger, more put-together, than another person. If I think that they think I am strong and in control, then they can be impressed with me and adore me and elevate me as superior to them. Again, it's me being threatened by somebody else's good fortune and wanting to have their attention.
Whew!!!!
I am still a little girl cowering in a corner waiting for somebody to rescue me. As my ego has developed through adolescence, being 'saved' or 'rescued' has become an expectation that has never been fulfilled(logic tells me that nobody can rescue me, but me)...and I perhaps am still too emotionally immature to really accept truth and 'grow up.' In other words, 'it's a princess syndrome.' Wanting to be babied and cared for while blaming others (friends and family) for everything.
Separated from the group:
I think that being an individual and 'separated from the group' is a good thing and definitely a desired trait when it's somebody who is comfortable in one's own shoes, who is independent and confident and living with humility and equality. But in the context of me..and my emotions...it's not confidence and it's definitely not humble. It's a self-separation due to ego thinking I am either better than or less than another human being...But not equal. It's me separating myself from the whole of humanity in an apathetic way as if my 'problems' are so much worse than somebody else's 'sufferings.' That I must be so much more all-knowing than somebody else because of everything I have 'gone through.' When im not acting all imperious and treating everybody like they're stupid fools, then I am acting like a baby because I am feeling threatened by somebody's success or joy or happiness & etc and I want others to give me the attention that they are getting.
Can't move stealth enough:
I think that I am just a methodical person and that is how my mind operates. I do one thing at a time (and I often obsess over being sure things are done perfectly). Others appear to be so much more effective than I am because I get so hung up on doing things perfectly and it slows me down. So I feel threatened and competitive.
With an emotional state that is immature, I am resistant to being an adult and doing all of the things that adults do. I procrastinate because I expect somebody to magically do everything for me. Then when time runs out and I have to be somewhere important where others are waiting for me & etc...I am always late because I procrastinated all day and then had to rush (when I am a more methodical person by nature) so I get angry and stressed out...and blame them rather than taking a look at how I could have managed my day better.
I've been seen:
I think it means that my friends and loved ones know how I am because my behavorial patterns are always the same, and they have stopped taking me seriously. I'm way more transparent than I think!!
Strength under control:
It's thinking that appearing to be in control makes me seem stronger, more put-together, than another person. If I think that they think I am strong and in control, then they can be impressed with me and adore me and elevate me as superior to them. Again, it's me being threatened by somebody else's good fortune and wanting to have their attention.
Whew!!!!
kamikama last decade
I am going through an acute illness at the moment which is slowing down my ability to analyze cases. I may need to come back to this in a few days.
♡ brisbanehomoeopath last decade
Is there another homeopathist who might be able to offer any insight at this timing? Sameer perhaps?
kamikama last decade
kamikama last decade
Hi, are you in USA?
there are very good homeopaths
who will do constitutional on phone-
using Sankaran method like David
was using. Dr. judyth Reichteberg Ullman
for instance in state of Washington.
Unfortunately, I don't think
anyone does anything similar except
Sameer and he seems to be very busy.
there are very good homeopaths
who will do constitutional on phone-
using Sankaran method like David
was using. Dr. judyth Reichteberg Ullman
for instance in state of Washington.
Unfortunately, I don't think
anyone does anything similar except
Sameer and he seems to be very busy.
♡ simone717 last decade
Thank you. I will look that person up in Washington. I just wish I hadn't been invited to list out all of my personal information here, wasting my time and some of his, if he wasn't even able to help at this time.
kamikama last decade
He thought he was able to help.
and thought he had an acute
illness, and it turned out to be
a serious illness and he had to close
his actual clinic, all happened in
a matter of days.
and thought he had an acute
illness, and it turned out to be
a serious illness and he had to close
his actual clinic, all happened in
a matter of days.
♡ simone717 last decade
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