homeopath with experience in metal issues please advise

Dear Drs,

If there's anybody who feels sure they know my similum, please contact me. It seems like my case is a difficult one seeing that no-one has been able to help me. I desperately want to get better. I've also been to two homeopaths here but i found no relief. I was being followed by some-one on this forum but now he's unavailable. I took a monodose of Lac Can. 10MK on 21st but i haven't noticed any changes in symptoms except for return of constipation.

I have included many details so i apologize for the long e-mail.


ID: Ipslon Sex: F Age:40


Questionnaire for mental symptoms:

1) Describe your main sufferings with exact sensations, locations, modalities, and probable causes.

Very depressed, social isolation, feeling lonely, stuck, social phobic and anxious.


I've always been a melancholic person and had a feeling of loneliness but i started to suffer from a serious depression in 2000 when i was working on the cruise-ships. I chose the job for 2 reasons: i used to love travelling and i thought that having to be in constant close contact with people would have helped me to become less shy.


After a few verbal warnings regarding my performance on the job i got a negative written appraisal. As she told me about it i didn't say a word or cry. It came as a shock. I already didn't get along with her but then i found myself imagining her getting killed in the worst possible ways. When i got home i didn't want to go out anymore, i stared at the walls and realized i was very depressed.


I've had social avoidance all my life; i thought it was only shyness but then my difficulty being at ease with people worsened when the depression appeared 12 years ago.


I feel as though i'm a ugly looking monster and that i should be ASHAMED OF MYSELF. I can't walk with my head up high and i feel i DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE THE BEST IN LIFE.


I have tried my best to get over this depression; i've dome so much research on the subject and tried almost every allopoathic med available, therapy, holistic therapy but they haven't helped.
I feel like i've done everything in my power to get out of the depression so i have almost given up any hope of healing.


I've always felt lonely because i spend a lot of my time alone; it's too stressful to be with others so if i have to choose between the 2 situations, i choose solitude, even if i hate it.

I feel very frustrated and tormented because i've wasted so many years suffering and i've missed out on learning through experience so that i haven't had any personal growth and maturity. Infact i feel immature, i don't want ot take on any responsibilities at all. I don't have any goals or dreams anymore.


I feel ISOLATED and DISCONNECTED from earth and people.


I also get angry at myself for not finding the courage and will power to do something about my situation instead of complaining and feeling like a victim of the circumstances.


As for physical symptoms, i suffer from head-aches and stomach-aches which aren't periodical but brought on from circumstances.


I also have lack of energy, sleepiness, eczema in my ear canals, constipation, insomnia and mastitis (since taking Lac Can. it has decreased in pain).


In ths wintertime i have pain on my side when sleeping. The pain goes away when i change side. My ear gets painful too in the same situation.


My shins (the front part of the leg below the knee and above the ankle) are very painful to pressure in winter.

I have leucorrhea; it's light yellow but then it becomes like egg-whites a week after my menses.


2) Write an essay on yourself, your personality, nature, your ambition in life, your innermost desires.

Since my depression i've become a worse person


I am timid, reserved and QUIET


People describe me as being sweet but whoever knows me well wouldn't describe me that way

I see myself as not having personality, boring and weak


I've become very irritable, moody and find it difficult to please others.

I hardly talk and often i feel as though i'm invisible because of it. when i'm really depressed i don't speak at all; it's tiring. Anyway i tend to talk about depressing things so i prefer to shut up. I'm quite meticolous, tidy, organized and practical.


I have difficullty expressing myself in words and have to use my hands.


Apart from having a caring family, i own nothing; no partner, no job, no property of my own, not even a car! (in fact i avoid driving because i feel nervous)



My only ambition in life and innermost desire at the moment is to feel better so i can feel joy again and feel like caring about myself and my life. It's the only thing i'm sure about.



3) Please pick the adjectives which best descibe your personality:

Anxious, Worrying, Paranoid (not in the extreme sense), Guilty, Depressed, Weepy (sometimes), Confused, TImid, Headstrong, Insecure, Immature and Rigid


4) Do you have any bereavement in your life?

No


5) Do you often suffer from depression? If so, do you prefer company or solitude during those times?

Yes and i prefer company (people close to me) because i feel cared for.


6) Do you often get angry? If not do you feel anger inside? What are the things/ issues on which you get angry the most?

No. I usually get a stomach-ache. When i feel somebody is not showing me respect or taking me for granted. Also rudeness angers me.



7) Do you have any issues regarding your parents?How were their nature/behaviour during your childhood and adoloescence? How has it affected your personality and thoughts?


I've been grealty affected by them.
My father didn't really want to become a father. He is emotionally and psysically detached; he never hugs anyone. He's quiet and doesn't mind being alone. My father worked away from home a lot so we didn't get to spend time with him.

My mother is very demanding and thinks she knows better. She hates spoilt children so she was very strict when i was a chid. I had to be polite with other people becasue their opinion is very important to her. She often made me feel guilty for not doing what i was told to do. She was/is a caring mohter but she suffered a lot due to my father's absence (for work) and she took out her frustration on us children. I remember getting spanked with a brush or a belt; i used to get very scared when she was angry with me.



As a consequence, i worry a lot about people's opinion of me, i don't feel ike i can be myslf, i'm insecure, i often feel guilty for things of no importance and i feel i don't deserve the best in life.



8) How would you say your sex drive is like? High, low or average? Do you think you are able to satisfy your sexual desires?

It's average. No, seeing i haven't been in a relationship for a long while.

-Married/unmarried?

Unmarried


-Country? Climate?

I live in Italy. The climate is mediterranean although it's becoming tropical because of climate change.


-Height? Weight?

1 meter 69. 63 kg


-Current blood pressure

109/63 (it's very hot and humid)


Veg/Non Veg.

Non Veg.


-Diabetic/non diabetic?

Non diabetic


-What mental sufferings/feelings do you have associated with your physical sufferings?

The lack of energy and sleepiness are caused by the depression.


-What exactly do you feel when at worst?

I want to fall asleep and never wake up again. I take any excuse to sleep so i won't think. There are times in which i weep a lot and my heart feels heavy and it aches. Other times i need to HIDE AWAY FROM PEOPLE in my bedroom where i lie on my bed in the dark in silence.


-Which time of the day are you worst?

There's no specific time although the morning seems the most constant. It's the thought of getting through the day in this situation that upsets me.


-What are the things that aggravate your suffering and which ameliorate?

Thinking about my problems, head-aches, stomach-aches, hot and humid weather, stuffy rooms (i can't have saunas, i can't breathe), cold weather,hunger, pressure on the affected areas (e.g. mastitis) aggravate.

Sleeping, resting, eating and having a shower ameliorate.



- Do you think your suferings have relation to exteranl stimuli ot any biological changes in the body like menses?


No, regarding exteranl stimuli, As for internal ones i am more depressed and cry easily before menses but sometims after. I also crave sweets (with more appetite) before and i get some acne. My overall symptoms aren't constant or regualr.



-When do you feel better, during hot, humid or dry weather?

Dry


-How do you feel during a thunderstorm?

It doesn't affect me.


Are you sensitive to external stimuli like smell, light, noise, etc?

I can't bear to see car accidents in which people are injured and i can't watch cruelty done to animals.
I have to wearsunglasses even when there are clouds.
I tend to jump at sudden loud noises.


-Do you have any tipical habit like nail-biting, causeless weeping, talking to oneself etc?

I usually bite the skin around my nails to avoid actually biting my nails.

I tend to sigh to get more air, if i think about my problems and sometimes to calm my anxiety.

I always talk to myself; maybe because of my loneliness.

In some periods i weep without reason.

I sigh a lot


-How do you feel about yuor friends and family?

I feel apathetic towards everyone but that doen't stop me from being very irritable.
I feel frustrated because no-one understands what it is to be in my shoes.


-What are your fears and do you dream of any situation repeatedly?

I don't have a specific fear.

I tend to dream of dead fish in water. And i also have dreamt of dead human bodies in water. Other times i have dreamt i am in a building walking through rooms looking for something.


-What do you crave in food items and what are you aversions?


I crave for sweets/chocolate before menses but i always crave coffee.

I dislike cappers, dried candied fruit, and feel sick if i eat raw garlic.


-How is your thirst: less, normal, excessive?

Less.

Is there any kind of food your body can't stand?

I don't know. I may have an allergy due to my ear eczema but i haven't had tests done.


-Is your sweat less, normal or more? Where does it sweat more: head, trunk or limbs?

I sweat more on movement or with people.
Trunk (underarms) and limbs (my feet sweat in closed shoes and give bad odour).
I've had to throw away t-shirts because i couldn't wash off the sweat (the odour irritated me).


-How is your bowel movement and stool type?

I tend to have constipation especially when i'm anxiuos and it is usually incomplete. The stools are normal looking sometimes well-formed, other times not, but i never get loose stools. When i'm constipated i get mucous.


-How well do you sleep? Do you have a particular posture of sleeping?

I have insomionia so i need to take an anxiolytic to fall asleep, i wake uo at the least sound and i always wake up unrefreshed. I sleep on my side.

-How do you think you are different from others if at all?

I'm too quiet, BORING, SENSITIVE, and overconscious when i'm with other people, i listen to them carefully and observe their body language. I wonder if they like me. I DON'T LIKE THE WAY I AM so how can others possibly do? I sometimes haven't greeted people for fear they wouldn't want to. I once imagined some students were laughing about me.


-What medication have you taken earlier to treat the diseases and do you have any particular symptom surfacing after the medication?

I've been taking antidepressants on and off for 12 years (not now). The most common symptoms are constipation and tiredness.


-Waht major diseases run in your family?

Glaucoma (mother), diabetis (mother and grandmother's brother), schizophrenia (aunt), tuberculosis( uncle), heart disease (father and grandfather), Guillaume Barré synddrome (cousin), OCD (cousin), and gout (grandfather).

Tests found i have Mononucleosis anti-bodies.


-Describe how you look.

I'm blonde, fair complexion, square shaped face, tall, fairly slim (flabby stomach). My skin is very sensitive; i bruise easily and get varicose veins (thighs and eye area).


Cuts, bruises, etc, take a long tiem to heal.

I have 2 moles on my face, a few soft ones on my body, many freckles (but not very visible). I also have a café-au-lait mottled mark going from my shoulder down to my elbow.


-Tongue and taste

It has teeth marks around the edges, pale white in colour, pink on edge, there are a couple of cuts in front and bumps in the back. The tip is quite red.



A few times i have woken up and tasted blood; my gums usually bleed when i brush my teeth.



I sometimes have saliva falling out of my mouth while resting. Andd i sometimes bite the inside of my cheeks and i get a kind of pimple in inner lip.


-Only ofr females. Are the periods early, regular, late? How long do they last?


They come every 22-25 days and last 2 days.

The mastitis increases in pain and at the arrival of menses, decreases.

-Do you suffer from any kind of pyhisical or mental pain beofre, during or after the periods?

I am more depressed before menses but sometimes after too.


-Is the flow scanty, normal or excessive?

Scanty.


-Do you notice any clots in the flow?

No

Remedies taken:
Silica ?LM and Nat Ars ?LM (same treatment)
Sepia ?
Puls. 15CH, 200CH and 10MK
Ignatia 6LM
Lachesis 1MK
Thuja 200CH
Aurum Met 1MK
Lycop.200CH
Nux Vom 200CH
Sulphur ?
Calc Carb ?
Caust 10MK
Caust 1MK, Coloth 30CH, Staph 200HC, Aurum 30CH (same treatment)
Lac Can. 10MK

I truly hope you can help me get back to living again. Thank you very much for your time.
[message edited by ipslon on Tue, 26 Jun 2012 07:45:31 BST]
[message edited by ipslon on Tue, 26 Jun 2012 07:48:44 BST]