help me to find correct remedy: I think I am Natrum Mur personality with these symptoms?

Dear All,
Firstly I will explain my life from childhood.

I am from India, 2nd and last son to my parents. I born on 30-08-1975 in a village and shifted to the present town in 1980. My struggle with life to make my parents feel my existence started at the age of 6 or 7 when I observed my parents presenting new cloths and sweets to my brother keeping me watch the thing and they asking my brother to give some sweet to me also. I was surprised and insisted them whey I was not presented new cloths - they said it is his birthday. This is the beginning - I too began to demand performing my birthday but so long they kept it secret from me. After great struggle, crying, appelling to tell my birth date refusing to go to school only they let me know my birthday. My mother is the 2nd wife of my father who separated from his 1st wife (the exact reasons are not known to me). He was a drunkard and used to lay on road sides unconsiciously and never employed himself doing cultivation once he separated from his father after his 1st marriage. he spent the income, borrowed amounts and lead lavish life. My mother saying that he got some uncurable wound on his foreskin of penis and got it curcumcissed just before or after my birth (she was not sure about the exact timing). He never had consensus of mind with his father and brother and had fighting all the time and left the village - the reason he was saying is his brother did not allow him to cultivate his land though he never himself did any cultivation except giving it on lease, roaming around the town, drinking with friends, watching movies on the release date itself and visiting prostitutes. He developed some suspecious towards my mother prior to shifting to town in 1980 itself and humiliated her. After shifting to town, i dont remember why but I was not admitted into school and sent to a teacher who tought children at her home. I dont remember to have repeatedly wrote the things on slate as the other students do (I am a easy learner - what i could call it) and that may be the reason my teacher is not satisfied with me and she always beat me and for this reason I always running on road keep my mom following to catch me to avoid to go to school. many times I tried to ran away from the house itself but u already understood those attempts are futiled. I was a good student in studies is concerned. Our academic year commences in June of one year and ends by April of next year. I joined in this school hardly in 1980 only after shifting to this city but I completed 1-10 classes by April, 1989 with many intervals. Once I joined in a regular school in 4th class I was never absent. Initially I was poor in maths till 7th class but with the teaching of one Teacher, I did B.Sc. with Maths and physics. But I found myself poor in english. However I overcome this with some english training at the age of 27 & 28.
Regarding childhood is concerned, my parents especially my mom always beating us with hands and kicking with legs. i think its mostly my brother who received these presents oftenly. Still he forget the things and repeat his same attitude. But I am the one who remember the past and never repeated the things which make my parents unhappy. Once in time, we were learning bi-cycle within time my father saw and beat my brother saying as he was unable to purchase the bi-cycle was begged it from neighbours. That all I found my father unhappy to beg any thing from others so I didn't tried to learn by-cycling. till date I dont know by-cycling so also riding a bike. I was, some what, clever student all my teachers liked me than my brother. It happend me to join him in the same class while he was studying 4th class. My father use to smoke - he stopped drinking after we shifted to city - began to do some wager work for livelihood. Still he had his own vices of smoking and pan regularly. I was not breast feeded due to lack of breast milk with my mom. During those days, we were not in a position to buy milk atleast and they use to give suger mixed water whenever i was hungry. till 10 or 11 years, i dont remember any illness. I got headache may be at the crossing of 10th to 11th year i think. its horrible pain with smarting/pulling sensation of eyes during studying 7th class. I was taken to a MBBS who suggested Actimol (the content is Quinine - dont remember which combination of quinine). during summer vacation of this 7th class, I found my hands and legs are going to numb if some pressing on hands between shoulder and elbow during sleep etc., My arm got shrinken with stiffness and after chaiging position - it relieved with pinning and icy blood running sensation. So also my legs, if I were to sit on ground while study atleast 5-10 mins continuously, my both legs become numb and same situation of pinning and icy cold blood running sensation after movement. I was never taken to any doctor for this. In 1991 at the age of 16 I found the half moon is appearing three shades and was taken to a eye specialist who gave glasses. Those were causing much pain, my eyebrows, eyes becoming painful and cant move eyes using these glasses, yet the doctor asked me to continue the same but I stopped using it till 2001. for having worked continuously on computer since 1998 I was forged to use glasses but while working on computer only. Still i dont use them off the computer.
[message edited by Mr.Kishan on Tue, 18 Sep 2012 11:25:35 BST]