Social Fear/Public speaking & Cowardice

I am accepting the reality of calling myself as a cowardice in public and social speaking skills.

My details given below.

*****PERSONAL DETAILS*****
Age - 31 ; Gender - Male;

Weight - 55 Kgs; Height - 5.6'; Non-Diabetic; No BP; No habits of smoking and alcohol

Likes — Juicy Fruits, Sitting, lying on bed

Dislikes — Attending parties, driving, going outside home...............

Working: Mostly clerical work

*****HEALTH ISSUES*****
I used to suffer from hyper acidity, and in the morning disturbance in the stomach, vomitting feeling. Also having eczema or psoriasis on fingers and on head 9Hairs)

Whenever I am anxious, worried and in tension, I will get cough and irregular heart beat.

In winter season - I will get crazy itchy skin. Appetite - High but i am weak

*****PROBLEM / COMPLIANT*****

Lowestconfidence/social ffear/speaking in public is from Childhood. Severe Social Shyness and Over silent and reserved.
PLEASE HELP!

Public fear — Biggest fear in team meetings/social/group/stage/public (relatives sometimes); I will keep silence in the meetings eventhough I know the points I have are valuable and required to address, but will not be able to speak at all; Fastest heart beat when
speaking with tongue tembles in meetings. I can see my heart pounding at a very high speed; I feel shivering hands ; I will preplan a lot before speaking but will get highly contradictory experiences making me speechless or counterless; All my speaking will get supressed mentally and forcibly stops that affects me physically and visually; I will not get any ideas or ways of talking to people initially; I always think later after the events with better ideas and better speaking very very late - that should actually happen when in live; Never come out of comfort zone; Always preoccupied with thoughts, dreams and imagination; loss of memory; unnecessary and over reservedness; when speaking, speak high amount of words and not brief. Cowardness, lack of confidence, anxiety, laziness; things postponing

Fear of failure — Ideas but will not come out of mouth as i feel biggest hurdles, words getting stuck, arrested inside not coming out at all. Will sit silently, supressing all my ideas and speech; Fear of people watching me.

Dreams and Imagination — I always wanted to be a kungfu master, years and years and in the current days I like dream about kungfu, but couldn't go for training in the childhood When I am alone, I always dream and imagine the methods of rescuing people in different situations as I like those things a lot.

My feelings — Something inside me always supresses my thoughts and talking. Makes me to sit silent everytime. I know that I am not doing correct, but still I am unable to overcome. Everytime I feel guilty that I am making wrong. Very low confidence levels
On the other side, I feel so strong mentally, I know the problem resolutions, I have bright and better ideas, I know how to solve things, I know what I need to do — but nothing works out and nothing comes out when doing a group discussion, brainstorming or talking to anyone including family and professinally. Preplan a lot, but ends with contradictory and bad experiences.

Only after initial (in fact poor and failure) attempt, I will be able to think or speak or do better which will be of no use at that time. I dream and imagine the things doing better only after the events happenend either with no or bad experiences.


*****WEAKNESS*****
All mentioned above

*****STRENGTHS*****
Officially – Solution provider. Parallel thnking. Multile approaches. Preplanning (even though failure experiences)

Family – try to make everyone happy everytime

****HELP NEEDED!!!*****
Want to be a continuous talker, speak whatever comes in my mind without any shyness or fear of public, don't want to be silent at all, want to see myself as a daring and dashing speaker, experience gaining confidence a lot, don't want to think of anyone while speaking, want to experience the fear and shyness getting extricated completely, don't want to be called as a reserved person, want to be humurous like others, want others to realize what is there in my mind, want others to see the change happening in me.

I am hating myself as there are many things I know I can do and I have to do, but just becuase of this social shyness and fear of failure, I am getting bad and negative experiences and loosing confidence when looking other going towards success. I don't like comparison but feel guilty of not following the steps what others followed, just becuase of fear of failure, less confidence, shyness and great silence