Social Fear/Public speaking & CowardiceI am accepting the reality of calling myself as a cowardice in public and social speaking skills.
My details given below.
Age - 31 ; Gender - Male;
Weight - 55 Kgs; Height - 5.6'; Non-Diabetic; No BP; No habits of smoking and alcohol
Likes Juicy Fruits, Sitting, lying on bed
Dislikes Attending parties, driving, going outside home...............
Working: Mostly clerical work
I used to suffer from hyper acidity, and in the morning disturbance in the stomach, vomitting feeling. Also having eczema or psoriasis on fingers and on head 9Hairs)
Whenever I am anxious, worried and in tension, I will get cough and irregular heart beat.
In winter season - I will get crazy itchy skin. Appetite - High but i am weak
*****PROBLEM / COMPLIANT*****
Lowestconfidence/social ffear/speaking in public is from Childhood. Severe Social Shyness and Over silent and reserved.
Public fear Biggest fear in team meetings/social/group/stage/public (relatives sometimes); I will keep silence in the meetings eventhough I know the points I have are valuable and required to address, but will not be able to speak at all; Fastest heart beat when
speaking with tongue tembles in meetings. I can see my heart pounding at a very high speed; I feel shivering hands ; I will preplan a lot before speaking but will get highly contradictory experiences making me speechless or counterless; All my speaking will get supressed mentally and forcibly stops that affects me physically and visually; I will not get any ideas or ways of talking to people initially; I always think later after the events with better ideas and better speaking very very late - that should actually happen when in live; Never come out of comfort zone; Always preoccupied with thoughts, dreams and imagination; loss of memory; unnecessary and over reservedness; when speaking, speak high amount of words and not brief. Cowardness, lack of confidence, anxiety, laziness; things postponing
Fear of failure Ideas but will not come out of mouth as i feel biggest hurdles, words getting stuck, arrested inside not coming out at all. Will sit silently, supressing all my ideas and speech; Fear of people watching me.
Dreams and Imagination I always wanted to be a kungfu master, years and years and in the current days I like dream about kungfu, but couldn't go for training in the childhood When I am alone, I always dream and imagine the methods of rescuing people in different situations as I like those things a lot.
My feelings Something inside me always supresses my thoughts and talking. Makes me to sit silent everytime. I know that I am not doing correct, but still I am unable to overcome. Everytime I feel guilty that I am making wrong. Very low confidence levels
On the other side, I feel so strong mentally, I know the problem resolutions, I have bright and better ideas, I know how to solve things, I know what I need to do but nothing works out and nothing comes out when doing a group discussion, brainstorming or talking to anyone including family and professinally. Preplan a lot, but ends with contradictory and bad experiences.
Only after initial (in fact poor and failure) attempt, I will be able to think or speak or do better which will be of no use at that time. I dream and imagine the things doing better only after the events happenend either with no or bad experiences.
All mentioned above
Officially Solution provider. Parallel thnking. Multile approaches. Preplanning (even though failure experiences)
Family try to make everyone happy everytime
Want to be a continuous talker, speak whatever comes in my mind without any shyness or fear of public, don't want to be silent at all, want to see myself as a daring and dashing speaker, experience gaining confidence a lot, don't want to think of anyone while speaking, want to experience the fear and shyness getting extricated completely, don't want to be called as a reserved person, want to be humurous like others, want others to realize what is there in my mind, want others to see the change happening in me.
I am hating myself as there are many things I know I can do and I have to do, but just becuase of this social shyness and fear of failure, I am getting bad and negative experiences and loosing confidence when looking other going towards success. I don't like comparison but feel guilty of not following the steps what others followed, just becuase of fear of failure, less confidence, shyness and great silence
sajid sajjad on 2013-04-18
♡ Mahfoozurrehman 9 years ago
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