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Looking for remedy to heal childhood wounds...

I have known for years that my personality, my insecurities, my lack of trust and emotional state was very much shaped by my childhood. After a relationship that deeply triggered old wounds (his behavior reminded me very much of my mothers), i have been trying to once again address my challenges. I am hoping i can give some information and someone might be able to offer a remedy that might help.
Here are some things about me:
i grew up in a verbally abusive and mentally abusive home.
my mother was/is an alcoholic and was very self-centered and didn't care about my feelings.
she would give me scornful looks and didn't show me much love if any.
she would take seriously jokes I would make as a child
she didn't support me in things i was good at and eventually i became lazy and very inactive
my father didn't protect me from my mother and would sometimes use 'reverse psychology' (his words) on me. He would be a bully too at times.
When i tried to get my family help after seeing an ad for AA 'if you or someone you know has a problem with alcohol please call...' so i did and when i handed the phone to my father he said 'everything is ok' and hung
i was never protected
my older sister and i didn't have a good relationship either. it was as if my mother got in the middle of that too
as an adult, i tend to have conflicts with other people especially woman, even though i may not always understand how they happen.
i feel betrayed & disrespected often
i feel like I'm an easy target for bullies
i don't stand up for myself well, or eloquently
i think most people that get to know me don't like me although my clients seem to like me
i had a ptyrigum on my right eye that was removed years ago, it seems to have return or at least the area becomes very irritate, inflamed and reddened.
i am not as motivated to socialize
i worry that romantic partners will cheat on me or be sneaky behind my back
i even have fantasies, thoughts of those kinds of acts which obviously i don't want to have.
i worry what people think or say about me
people tend to get upset with me
women that are bullies, find it easy to bully me (i don't know any other way to describe that but I seem to upset people)
it seems easy for people to disrespect me
i don't have good boundaries or sense of such. Even though i knew i didn't want to get involved with the last man i dated, i still let him in.

i like sleeping in the cold
i have a hard time sleeping when its too warm
i cannot think of what i crave, but i like sweets, sour, spicy foods, but have been trying to avoid dairy and a lot of sweets because of its affects on candida.
i am creative although I feel like i am unmotivated these days
i feel like my potential is unmet and get sad about thinking of what I could have been had i been nurtured and loved
i love the outdoors
i love trees and wildlife and lakes
i love live music and travel but lately haven't participated.
i live above a very angry neighbor who now has cameras in her window and videotapes my comings and goings in an effort to get me in trouble with my dogs. ironically her irrational angry behavior towards me reminds me of my mother
i don't know how to properly handle conflict, i can't seem to get it right.
i don't have a problem crying
i am very very sensitive to animals and have bird feeders and offer nuts to the squirrels, but sometimes find myself impatient and short with my senior dog or dogs that are harder to handle which i feel is a side effect of my internal frustration and struggle and because I am worried of disturbing the angry neighbor. (when I was a child i always worried about upsetting my mom, she would get upset with anything. i remember hearing the expressing 'walking on eggshells' and it resonating with me. my mother was very narcissistic and irrational and volatile)
im afraid i won't be able to change the programming from repeated childhood trauma or layers of traumas that occurred as a result, but I am hoping homeopathy can help.
i hope this is enough for someone to suggest an effective remedy.
thank you
 
  MoonsMom on 2014-08-29
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
Homeopathy can work to a certain extent, even it requires complementary support, have you tried psychological therapy.
 
fitness 9 years ago
I find counselling to be an excellent adjunct to homoeopathy. This actually looks like the kind of case I work well with. I can post my questionnaire for you - some of it you will have answered, but to work holistically we need more physical and general symptoms too.

HOW TO DESCRIBE YOUR COMPLAINTS (Physical Components)

In homoeopathy, prescription is based on precise details of various symptoms from which you suffer. To tell or write to a homoeopathic physician 'I have a headache ', ' an eruption ' or “a cough” would not be enough. If you inform him 'I have headache with sharp shooting pains in the left side of the head and temple, these pains always come on when the slightest cold air strikes the head. I feel better by pressing the head very hard.” Then only you have given all the information required for making a good homoeopathic prescription. The success of the prescription depends; largely on how detailed your description of the symptoms is.
We require the following details about your symptoms.

LOCATION: Please give the exact location of sensation, pain or eruption. Also describe where the pain or sensation spreads.

SENSATION: Express the type of sensation or the pain that you get in your own words however simple or funny it may seem. You may have a sensation that a mouse is crawling or the heart was grasped by an iron hand or you may have a pain that is cutting, burning jerking, pressing. Express the sensation or pain as it feels to you. Try to explain the whole sensation in the exact way it is happening and not just the word. We need to understand the whole process of the sensation as it is happening to you.

WHAT MAKES YOU WORSE OR BETTER:

Many factors are likely to influence your complaint. Some factors may intensify it and some factors may relieve the trouble. A detailed list of the factors is given at the end. Please refer it while describing each of your troubles and indicate which factors make the complaint better or worse.

DISCHARGES: You may have a discharge from nose, ears, mouth, eyes, ulcers, fistula, eruptions on skin, private parts, etc. Please describe your discharge in detail including colour, consistency, appearance, odour etc.

1] Your Complaint:

(Use your own words as far as possible, but if you have recognized or diagnosed the condition, give this information also.) By answering as many of these questions as fully as possible, you are helping me to understand what your body and unconscious mind is conveying. This can help me find a remedy for you.)
• What is your complaint?
• When did the complaint begin?
• Where is it located?
• What sort of sensations (and emotions) do you associate with it?
When does it tend to occur (time/day)
• Does anything make it better or worse?
• How does it bother you? How is it coming in way of your day-to-day life?
• How does it feel like to have this/these problem/s?
• What is the effect of this/these problem/s on you?
• Did any event happen which caused the complaint? Describe the emotion associated with it.
• What are the other symptoms started with it, esp. mental and physical symptoms, which are not directly related to the main complaint.
• What are your reactions with it?

PLEASE ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS FOR EACH SYMPTOM/COMPLAINT SEPARATELY. DO NOT INCLUDE ALL OF YOUR COMPLAINTS TOGETHER IN EACH QUESTION eg. all questions answered for Leg Pain, then same questions answered for Migraines, then same questions answered for Panic attacks etc.

Mental and Emotional State Description

(the homoeopathic remedy is very often decided on the basis of the mental and emotional state of the patient !)


1. What are the issues in your life that bother you the most. Not physical issues but mental or emotional ones. List each one separately and describe why each one bothers you so much.

2. What emotions are the most troublesome for you? What situations provoke these emotions. How do these emotions make you act? Do you feel any ill effects from expressing or not expressing these emotions.

3. What incidents in your life have had a deep impact on you? Describe each incident in detail and how they made you feel? What did you do in those situations? What effect have they had on your life?

4. What are you afraid of? Especially important are phobias, but it might be objects, situations or events that just produce a high level of anxiety. How do you manage your fears? How do you react when confronted with these fears? What would be the worst situation for you to be put in that would provoke these fears? You may need to talk about each fear/anxiety separately.

5. What hobbies do you have? Why do you like each of these activities?

6. Do you have any persistent thoughts, ideas or beliefs that are difficult to stop or cope with? What are they?

7. Do you have any unusual gestures or movements of the body? Do you feel any unusual sensation or pain throughout your body? What exactly does it feel like is happening in your body?

8. When you experience your fears, persistent thoughts, or difficult emotions, what kind of sensation or reactions do you get in your body?

9. When did you feel at your best in your life? What was that like for you? If you imagine the complete opposite of this feeling or moment, what would that be like?

10. Do you feel like you are stuck in a pattern of behavior, especially when trying to deal with your problems? What is this pattern?

11. What difficulties or problems do you have in relationships? Talk about your family, your romantic relationships, your spouse or partner, your friends, and your work colleagues. You may need to talk about all of these separately.

12. List 5 positive things about yourself. Are there any situations where this positive attribute becomes negative (is a problem)?

13. List 5 negative things about yourself. Are there any situations where this negative attribute becomes positive (is useful)?

14. Do you have any reoccurring dreams? Describe them in detail, including any feelings that come while dreaming.

15. Did you have any reoccurring dreams as a child, or earlier in your life? Describe those in detail including any feelings that came with them.

16. What were you like as a child, your character, your personality, your fears, your dreams, your problems?

17. What kind of environment did you grow up in? What problems where there at home, with your family, with your parents, with your siblings, with school?

GENERAL SYMPTOMS
(Symptoms that don’t fit anywhere else, but are things that tend to affect all of you as a person, but are not emotions or thoughts)

1. Sleep - what position do you tend to sleep in?
- what position can you not sleep in?
- do you do anything unusual in your sleep?
- any problems with going to sleep, staying asleep, or waking up?

2. Appetite - What foods do you crave/desire strongly?
- What foods do you hate eating (have an aversion to)?
- What foods have a negative effect on you or cause symptoms?
- What foods have a positive effect on you or seem to improve your health or symptoms in some way?

- What is the effect of hunger or fasting on you?

3. Thirst - What drinks do you crave/desire strongly?
- What drinks do you hate to take (are averse to)?
- When are you most thirsty?
- When are you least thirsty?

4. Stool - Do you have any problems with your bowels or passing stool?
- What is the shape, color, odor of the stool?

5. Urine - Do you have any trouble passing or retaining urine?
- What is the color, odor of the urine?
- Do you have any sediment or debris in the urine?

6. Sweat - How do you feel about the amount of perspiration you have?
- Where do you have the most sweat?
- What is the odor?
- What color does it stain clothing?
- Does anything in particular cause you to sweat abnormally?

7. Sexuality - Any problems with your sexual desire?
- Any problems with your sexual ability or function?
- Any history of sexually transmitted diseases?

8. Menses (Women)
- How many days is your cycle?
- How many days does the flow go for?
- What is the appearance of the flow?
- What is the odor of the flow?
- What kind of stain does the flow leave?
- Any discharge before, during or after?
- Any pain before, during or after the flow?
- What symptoms come before the flow?
- What symptoms come after the flow?

9. Environment – How does the weather affect you?
- How does the temperature affect you?
- How does the season affect you?
- What physical activities affect you?
- Is there anything else in the environment you are sensitive to?
 
Evocationer 9 years ago
Evocationer, I bumped your case list-

Cyberlavender has been waiting since
8-18 for an initial response.
 
simone717 9 years ago
Hi Evocationer,

Thank you for trying to help me.

Am I to start the questions at
1] Your Compaint and answer the questions with the following the bullets•?
or do i start at
1. What are the issues in your life that bother you the most...

Before i read your reply i started answering the questions on the questionnaire i found on the site which it says was designed by Rishimba. I will include what I completed just incase it can help.

Thank you again for trying to help me. I believe that there is some help for me with the assistance of homeopathy.

kindest regards,
Brigitte
 
MoonsMom 9 years ago
MoonsMom-

Please list what you have done to treat yourself with
whatever complaints you list- medications, herbs, therapy, etc
and if you are taking anything at this time.

Start with listing each complaint you have- and follow the
instructions on how to give the details on it.

When you are finished with that, move on to What are the issues
and so on.

fyi- Evocationer is not usually on the forum during the weekends-
which is why I am responding so you can get started.
 
simone717 9 years ago
Once you answer the questions I will start analysing the information and see what I can suggest.
 
Evocationer 9 years ago

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Information given in this forum is given by way of exchange of views only, and those views are not necessarily those of ABC Homeopathy. It is not to be treated as a medical diagnosis or prescription, and should not be used as a substitute for a consultation with a qualified homeopath or physician. It is possible that advice given here may be dangerous, and you should make your own checks that it is safe. If symptoms persist, seek professional medical attention. Bear in mind that even minor symptoms can be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, and a timely diagnosis by your doctor could save your life.