59 yr old woman: sepia?

Hi, I think Sepia fits me better than any other remedy, but I haven't tried it yet. I have long-standing problems with depression, anxiety, and irritability. I don't want to be like this, and I'm trying to support my health in everyway I can think or (healthy diet, vitamins, fish oil, etc) but none of this seems to be enough. I am helped somewhat by antidepressants, but I never feel truly happy to be alive on them and I'm looking for a more elegant solution. My health is pretty good except for this.

I feel worse during the winter, after sunset, and sometimes I wake at 3 a.m. with a terrible "ball" of despair, anguish, and hopelessness about the future, along with a deep feeling that I am "too much of an island" (too independant.) I have been a very independant person since my teen years, and I moved away from my family then. I sometimes think it was a coping strategy which got out of hand.
I also feel worse during cold, damp weather, or on overcast days. I get furiously angry sometimes if anyone seems to be feeling sorry for me. At times I become very averse to social hugging, and am a real crab about it, but then I feel bad about being so unfriendly. I can very easily feel overwhelmed by too much work or responsibilities, yet I have a very hard time saying "no" to them. I'm too quick to jump in and be the one who helps out when there is a need, and then, later, I wish I hadn't.

I feel better after eating, and I always feel relieved by taking a walk outside, especially if I have some company. I feel very lonely sometimes, but more and more I feel afraid to reach out because I think my irritability is getting worse as I grow older. I really don't want there to be one more negative, crabby old lady in the world (me!), so I'm asking for help!
I also feel better after reading uplifting, spiritual materials (yoga-sutra of patanjali, Buddhist sutras, etc.) and I also meditate regularly, which I know helps some. I feel better after dancing, but for some reason, I hardly ever dance. I feel better with people I know, especially when we are outside. I am known for having a good sense of humor, and I often get everyone to laugh (in spite of being depressad a lot, oddly enough).
I like all foods, but I always feel especially good after a hot bowl of curried lentils for some reason. I love coffee, but I do notice that after a few days of use I feel worse, so I avoid it for the most part. I feel better after a cup of green tea, and I love chocolate. I love buttered, salted, cooked vegetables, or greens, very much. I like alcohol (never in excess) but I stopped drinking it because I noticed it makes the lower part of my face get puffy and I look terrible that way.

I have dark brown eyes and I had dark brown, straight, hair before it turned mostly gray. I began to go grey much earlier than most people. I'm 5'4", 130 lbs. I have always been slender, more like 110-115, but after menopause I stay round 125-130. I have fair skin, but I tan well in the sun.

I went to a local homeopath for this depression last Spring. He gave me a solution of Anacardium Oriental 1-Q, and told me to success the bottle 5 times and then take 2-3 drops 3 times per week. At first, I thought it was an odd choice for me, and that I didn't fit it, but I tried it and it did help with my hay fever and tendency to get poison ivy rashes. But it didn't help with the depression. But he did tell me to give up coffee, which I did, and that's how I began to notice that coffee makes me worse. I stopped taking the Anacardium Oriental about 4 months ago. Back in 2008 I got help here on this website for the large uterine fibroids which I had for many years, and it did help, along with some supplements. I was able to avoid a hysterectomy, which was what the docs. recommended at the time. Actually, I believe main stream medicine is about 25% helpful, and 75% harmful, so I always try other things first, and would only resort to it in case of something acute and life threatening. Just my opinion.

Also, I think I'm unusual in my distaste and total lack of interest in sex. my aversion to it just seems to grow each year (I'm not married). I used to like it when I was younger. I think my distaste for it is due in some part to several bad experiences I had. But I like having platonic friendships with men.

I would like to find some guidance, advice, and supervision for trying sepia as a constitutional remedy. I'm a real do-it-yourselfer, but this time I think it's best to have help.

thanks in advance for any help.