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Sameer seems to be gone, does anyone else want to take my case? Page 2 of 4

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Wow, sorry to take so long to respond. I will fully understand if you're annoyed and want to ignore me from now on. When I first read the instructions I thought they were complicated and confusing, but looking at them again I see that it is simple and straightforward and it's weird that I thought that at first (severe ADD I guess.) Also I knew that if I took the doses I would have to quit Adderall and coffee, and I would spend a few days in a foggy haze, so I waited until I thought I could get away with it. I've taken the first 2 doses, but mostly what I'm feeling is the withdrawal from stimulants more than any effects of the remedy so it's hard to tell.
 
LisaX 6 years ago
If it's a drastic change in consumption, coffee may be continued with the remedy, to avoid withdrawal symptoms.

I am not annoyed at all :)
 
sameervermani 6 years ago
Day 4. What is supposed to be happening? How do I know what is a worsening and what is just the discomfort of adjustment? I feel physically horrible, my head hurts like I'm in Hell, every muscle in my body hurts, I'm nauseous, I'm sweating, my body temperature has dropped very low. It's like an internal pressure, like something pushing out from within. Mental despair, worried that even if the remedy works it will be too little too late, what if I've messed up my life so badly that it can never be set right. I'm looking for a miracle cure because I think I'm a hopeless failure and a miracle is my only hope, but it would have to be the biggest miracle of all time. Continue?
 
LisaX 6 years ago
Please stop dosing and report back in 3 days time.
 
sameervermani 6 years ago
Ok. Questions about what I can or can't do during homeopathic treatment, sorry if they are dumb questions:
1. Can I get a chiropractic adjustment?
2. Can I dye my hair? (Since this involves smelly chemicals I thought it best to ask first.)
 
LisaX 6 years ago
Better to avoid those in the next 2-3 days while you assess the response.
 
sameervermani 6 years ago
I'm not sleeping well, and when I do I have troubled dreams. Uneasy. Usually even if a remedy makes me sick, if it's working I rest better at night. Worried I had too much.
 
LisaX 6 years ago
Please list your current symptoms in a list. Make a list of physical, general and mental/emotional symptoms.
 
sameervermani 6 years ago
Physical: very low body temperature, sweating, especially on the back of the neck and between the fingers and toes, tension and pain in the jaw, head, and neck, especially on the right side of the jaw and nose, difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep, itchy scalp, lack of appetite except for sweets, cheesy snacks, and caffeinated beverages, nervous tension in left side of abdomen, starting to get frown lines around my mouth which I don't like, also my hair has more grey than is normal for my age.
I don't know what general means in this context. Will give the mental symptoms tomorrow when I have more mental energy.
 
LisaX 6 years ago
General symptoms are statements that begin with an "I" like "I feel worse in sunlight" or "I crave lemons"...
 
sameervermani 6 years ago
Also, what potency of Lycopodium have you taken if any?
 
sameervermani 6 years ago
I think I've taken everything except the LM's. From that definition it would seem that they are all general symptoms. I was just composing a rambling rant of mental symptoms which I'll probably go ahead and post shortly.
 
LisaX 6 years ago
More physical symptoms: Nausea combined with headache (feels like they are a single thing, a wave of one produces a wave of the other.) These are worse on the left side and are correlated with the low temperature thing and the sweating: The lower my temperature gets, the worse these other symptoms are. The headache feels like the top of my skull is removed and my brain is exposed and raw. As I said before, it’s like something is trying to push itself out from within, or another way of describing the same feeling is that it feels like my physical body and my astral body are fighting with each other, like they’re pushing against each other and each is trying to force the other to take its shape. Sorry for how little sense that makes; it’s a subjective sensation. I’m rooting for the astral body. My hands have been itching lately, I’m terrified that it might be scabies but I don’t think I’ve been exposed, if it is then I’ll have to suppress them as quickly as possible because they can’t be allowed to hang around at all. Which reminds me, I suppressed some lice recently. My menstrual cycle is still too short.

Food-related: Like I said, I don’t have much of an appetite, but I’m craving sweets, especially chocolate, and cheesy or salty snacks like nuts and crackers, and that’s really all I feel like eating, but I try to force down some vegetables and protein anyway. Craving caffeine, it doesn’t have to be coffee, I also like green tea and Yerba Mate, but I have to make them really strong so they have as much caffeine as coffee. I put milk in everything, I am even putting it in fruit juice, I want everything to be creamy. Coconut milk works as well as actual milk for this purpose, so it is just for the creaminess. Depending on what I’m cooking, I either put a lot of garlic or a lot of ginger in it, and I also eat both of these things raw sometimes, I like them. I have a compulsion to put flavorful herbs in everything such as cardamom or mint or lavender (I haven’t been doing this since taking the remedy because I’m being very careful about antidoting.) I like taking stimulants, I have an almost full bottle of prescription Adderall that I’m having to restrain myself from every day because I don’t want to antidote the remedy.
Sleep: Lately I’ve been falling asleep late and waking up early so that I never have had enough sleep.
Mental/emotional:
Mental fog, easily distracted, absentminded, etc. Disorganized, I try to keep my house neat and clean but it’s very hard to maintain it because I rarely remember to put things away instead of distributing them randomly around the house.
And the main thing, the thing I’m seeking treatment for, is that I’m very shy, it’s hard for me to make eye contact or keep my voice steady when talking to people or stand my ground with more aggressive people. And I’m very lonely, I desire friendship and connectedness, I want to feel like a valued member of a community. To be honest (which I probably should) there is a lot of ego mixed in with the desire for friendship. I want to be liked, I want to be popular, I want people to think I’m clever and interesting, and I feel blocked from that because I don’t have an outgoing personality. Sometimes people do think I’m clever and interesting but it doesn’t help because they just make a passing observation about it and then go off to hang out with their more socially adept friends. I want to be the person that people want to hang out with, and it has to be platonic, when I was young I got a lot of attention from men and a lot of guys wanted to date me and I just resented it because I felt like that’s all anybody wanted from me, and it felt impersonal, like it was just for my looks or for something they were projecting onto me, and I want to be liked for my mind and personality, but it’s hard for me to express my real self, and I’ve been told that my quietness makes it easy for people to project things onto me. I want to be a writer but I’m shy about exposing my thoughts. I do research on certain obscure esoteric topics, I think I’m good at it, but I’m embarrassed for people to know that my interests are so far out of the mainstream, it makes me feel more marginalized, but on the other hand I like what I like, and just don’t have a lot of interest in the common topics of conversation and I don’t have the motivation to fake it because fake conversations aren’t satisfying. I always feel like people are judging me for various reasons, and this is largely because experience has shown that they are. I feel like people are critical of every single thing, like I can do no right. I’m critical in return because a lot of people seem phony and superficial and like they care way too much about image.
I have a strange relationship to sex, I’ve been celibate for a few years because I don’t want to be touched or looked at in that way because I’m very protective of my energy field, and also the social framing that goes along with it is not of my choosing and I resent it. It seems like gender dynamics and male-female relations only benefit men, like women are being exploited. I’m not asexual, I have a sex drive, but it comes out in peculiar fetishistic ways (no I’m not going into detail, and I doubt it would help if I did.) I’m attracted to men who are very submissive, I have to be in control, not only physically but also of the social dynamic. I don’t like being objectified and I’m not comfortable with the conventional female role. It has been a long time since I’ve been with anyone so I feel like I have a lot of bottled up energy of that kind.
That about covers it, really.
 
LisaX 6 years ago
Have you ever taken Medorrhinum?
 
sameervermani 6 years ago
I took that once, I think it was 200c.
 
LisaX 6 years ago
So I should get the 1m?
 
LisaX 6 years ago
I wouldn't mind taking more of either one of those. In the past I've been quick to dismiss remedies because they didn't immediately give me the miracle I was seeking, and my state of being was so uncomfortable that it was hard to be patient. Now I'm no longer that uncomfortable, I feel like I've cracked it open enough that I can live with gradual improvement. Of course an instant miraculous transformation would still be my first choice.
 
LisaX 6 years ago
How was the response to the 200c?
 
sameervermani 6 years ago
I complained at the time that it wasn't doing enough, but what it did was good. It didn't create as much of an opening as some of the others, though.
 
LisaX 6 years ago
And what about Thuja ? Did you take it and what was the response?
 
sameervermani 6 years ago
Medorrhinum was better than Thuja. I will order some.
 
LisaX 6 years ago
The current remedy hasn't finished working yet, so I don't know what's going to happen yet. It had previously been one of the ones that helped the most, along with Carcinosin, Germanium, Staphysagria, and Lycopodium.
 
LisaX 6 years ago
Please order Med 1M in that case please.
 
sameervermani 6 years ago
I agree. Sounds about right.

The sense of urgency is coming back because I'm tired of people constantly commenting on how reserved I am and asking me if I'm ok when I'm putting all of my energy toward making conversation and trying to appear normal. It really stresses me out to always have to be self-conscious about that stuff, to never be able to forget about it any time I'm around people. At least I'm no longer being discriminated against or persecuted for it like I used to be, I don't think (most) people are deliberately trying to pick on me, it just makes me very uncomfortable, and I'm not able to overcome it just through effort and concentration, so I don't know why I even try. Therefore I would describe my main symptom as a complete inability to seem normal. It's a vicious cycle of self-consciousness. I have no idea what my personality would be like if I stopped suppressing it, I don't know what it even is I'm restraining. I wish I could know the why of certain things.

Answer me honestly: is there some part of my case that needs to be fixed with something other than homeopathy? Is there something else I need to be doing? Sometimes I feel like my inhibition is blocking my ability to heal, because even when I get the inner prompt that I need to express something outwardly, I am still not able to make myself do it. I guess it's a kind of overdeveloped self-control, except that I'm not able to consciously control it so it really isn't. I just want to be free, but on the other hand I don't because if I were uninhibited I might do something embarrassing, but my behavior is already embarrassing, so I might as well be free. Freedom and dignity lie in the same direction, but they probably part ways at some point, and I'm not sure which one I want more. For now I just want people to treat me like there's nothing wrong with the way I act, since I am in fact not doing anything wrong.
 
LisaX 6 years ago
Have you ever taken Lachesis or Ambra Grisea?
[message edited by sameervermani on Tue, 16 May 2017 05:11:54 UTC]
 
sameervermani 6 years ago
I took lots of Lachesis and it was very good as far as making me feel less defensive. It's powerful. I'm always a little resistant to taking it because it reduces my ego, and that's hard to knowingly submit to. But on the other hand I have taken up through the 1m and I am still having these problems, so I don't think it is the thing that is going to resolve the problem, it only removes some of the noise around it.
 
LisaX 6 years ago

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