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Please help me and my boyfriend - narcissistic traits

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[message edited by Butterflyness on Sun, 26 Jun 2016 23:38:39 UTC]
 
  Butterflyness on 2016-06-26
This is just a forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
To be honest Butterflyness, I am much more concerned about you. You seem to be way too receptive to being treated horribly. Why is being treated like that (someone humiliating you, etc) ok to you?
 
cosmicweaver 7 years ago
Because when he is good he is lovely and we can be great together but when issues come up he can't deal with them.
I want to make this work
 
Butterflyness 7 years ago
Let him aside for now, were by chance either of your parents treating you badly through your growing up, or also have narcissistic traits? Are your family relationships healthy, without toxic garbage?
 
cosmicweaver 7 years ago
I had an abusive father
 
Butterflyness 7 years ago
"Because when he is good he is lovely and we can be great together but when issues come up he can't deal with them. "

This is standard for all abusive people... you think they abuse all the time, this couldn't be more wrong. Abusers don't abuse all the time ever... It's always a sandwich, a bit of love, then a bit of abuse, then a bit of love to suck the victim back, then they abuse you again, and so forth. I'm talking from experience... this is how it works...
 
cosmicweaver 7 years ago
ok....
 
Butterflyness 7 years ago
It's your choice what you will do. Obviously you're very attached to your boyfriend and want a happy end with him. Totally understandable, but as he has free choice too, this might not necessarily happen... I am strongly suggesting that you focus on getting better yourself just in case as you're already on this forum. You will then have much more power to handle whatever happens and will be happier and more peaceful.

I've had abusive parents as well. It can make one end up in other abusive relationships... if parents treat you badly one will have struggle with self worth and tolerate bad things done to them - this is what we learn... Forgive me for being personal.
 
cosmicweaver 7 years ago

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