Compulsive disturbing thoughts

Hello,

I suffer from mild anxiety which manifests itself in shallow breathing and irratic, disturbing thoughts.

The thoughts i have are almost like tourettes - they're obscene words (which i only say in my head) triggered by certain images or people. I feel like this stems from previous trauma which was inflicted on me by a previous boyfriend which i never confronted and feel a large amount of guilt because of this.

It's like i have this compulsive urge to say or think very negative or obscene thoughts in very inapropraite situations (with people who these thoughts would offend or in public situations which would embarrass me) and then i end up having to have a conversation with myself (in my head) to try to force myself to stop doing this. I seem to only be able to stop the negative thoughts if i manage to end up distracting myself and subsequently forgetting to carry on this bad thought process.

I have a very active mind and think very fast but i have started to forget information or just not listen when people are talking to me as i get distracted by my own thoughts and fantasies. This means i end up asking people the same question over again which makes it seem as if i haven't been listening to them because i don't care but it's just because i'm thinking about so many things at once.

I'm 31, female, 62kg. Let me know if i need to provide any more information.

Thank you.