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Always thinking of past girlfriend

Hi all, I am 32 years old now. I suffer chronic fatigue syndrome and depression. When I was 17 I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. I did not cry about it, but rather became closed off emotionally from women for years. When I started relationships again, I chose women who were not emotionally available.

Whenever I do deep healing ceremonies like shamanic work or deep hypnotherapy, or even emotional detoxifying yoga, the same thing keeps happening. I keep crying about this girl I broke up with when I was 17. I actually enjoy it, it makes me feel alive, and it brings about a sentimental sadness that I like to live in for a while.

I dream about her a few times a week for years now, and whenever I try to talk to her I am never able to get to the point where I bring up anything important about the feelings I have.

It feels like I am still suffering deeply over the loss of a girl who I was deeply in love with. It is at the point where I can almost not feel love for anything anymore. It is as if my heart is closed off from all love, even the love of God. The only thing that makes me feel alive is the sentimental sadness I get when I think deeply about the girlfriend I had and I weep a little.

I have been to an expert homeopath who has prescribed many remedies, but we never went beyond 30c. I was prescribed Nat Mur at 30c with no reaction. I would think this is a 100% Nat Mur case from all the readings, but something also tells me this could possibly be an Aurum case too, with how deep and long my depression has been, over 10 years and I am only 32. The depression did reach suicidal levels, but I have been on medication for it and the deep depression went away.

I guess I am kind of hoping someone tells me to try a higher potency of Nat Mur, or try Aurum 30c. Maybe this is a really easy case. I did not communicate my suffering so well with my homeopath because I did not see the theme running through my life as well as I do now. Thanks for reading.
  LifeisMagic on 2019-04-22
This is an internet forum. Assume posts are not from medical professionals.
To sum up in a shorter way:
I want my heart to open up to love again. I feel no love when I pet my dog. I feel no love when I hug my parents or my brother. The only time I feel a bit of feelings in my heart is when I am alone and cry deeply to a movie or music, or thinking about my past or my ex girlfriend (music can bring up these thoughts). I feel if my heart could just be open to receiving love again my body and mind would be healed.
[Edited by LifeisMagic on 2019-04-22 20:57:33]
LifeisMagic 2 months ago

You know a lot more than most people on here.

I thought I remembered you and clicked your name.

You were studying Herscu method( which I don’t
Agree with) going to work with Philip Bailey
Who has a popular “personality” remedy book
Based on only his patients( widely panned by

You had a lot of concussions - your case as you know
Is very complicated. You are trying to diagnose
The remedies needed now and that is very difficult.

My advice is contact/ Mary Aspinwall , homeopath
In Santa Barbara ,ca by phone. She does phone
Consults- she is a homeopathic teacher and decades
Of practice- very successful healer. Let her retake
Your case.
[Edited by simone717 on 2019-04-22 22:12:47]
simone717 2 months ago
Wow Simone, I can't believe you remembered me! Amazing memory. Thank you so much for taking your time for replying. I don't think I can do a phone consult with Aspinwall, as I do not have the money right now. I may be receiving money in the future, but for now I am poor :(
LifeisMagic 2 months ago
Well, no harm in asking her if she can do a payment plan?
You need someone of that experience level.

Unfortunately, the forum has no homeopaths
Or really experienced prescribers on here for some time.
Your entire case history, physical history, all drugs,
All meds and homeo meds and results have to be
Included. Nothing left out.

The only homeopath is Reva, who does
His own way of using herbs, foods, remedies
Etc to cleanse and strengthen the system first
(Usually) so he is not going to get into discussions
About remedies like you had with Brisbane homepath(evocationer)

You could click Reva’s name and email him to see
If he has the time on here and read his threads
After clicking to get a sense of how he works.

Always click user names on here and read past
Threads of people you talk to.

Best wishes,

[Edited by simone717 on 2019-04-22 23:12:35]
simone717 2 months ago
Also, you could go over to the hpathy site.
I find that site overcomplicated and it used to be that
Some very good homeopaths will prescribe from
That site- all prescriptions have to be vetted by
Mannish Bhatia the site owner. Homeopaths
Have to show him the basis for their prescription,
So it was not done that often.

I do not know what they are doing now but you
Could probably write to Dr Bhatia if you cannot
Figure it out. At least it is free.
simone717 2 months ago
Ah, I did not know that there was no more homeopaths on this forum. I can see it being extremely difficult to prescribe through text. I may try the hpathy site, thanks for your response Simone.
LifeisMagic 2 months ago
On hpathy- a frequent contributor is “snoopy”
Her name is elaine( forgot last name) but she
Does list the complete name often on there.

She does treat for free- perhaps by phone or
Skype. She works in a layer by layer fashion-
Her mentor is dr robin murphy( famous) Aussie
Naturopath and homeopath. She is quite well known
And friends with Brisbane homeopath.
simone717 2 months ago
Lewis is Elaine's last name, this is her website.


I believe her preference is consultation via email but that may have changed. I don't know if she does treatments for free anymore but you won't know unless you contact her.

As far as the Hpathy Discussion Forum it does not look very active anymore.


but their website and facebook page seem to be a major hub for homeopathy now.

Anyway all the best LifeisMagic in finding an answer to your health issues.

JS123 2 months ago
Thank you JS 123. Elaine used to say she would
Do free consults for those who cannot afford-
Or a sliding scale. Of course it makes sense to
Ask what her policy is now.

It is too bad that discussion site does not work
Well- and there was a prescription part - sometimes
I could find it and sometimes not. They kept redesigning
simone717 2 months ago
Thank you JS, I may try to contact Elaine.
LifeisMagic 2 months ago
Yeah just checked Elaine, she costs over $300, so I can't do it now. My frustration with homeopathy was that I have had so many complicated things in my past that the 3 homeopaths that I saw over a 4 year period focused so much on that past stuff, instead of what my current state is like. I never really got to tell them about my core feeling, which I stated above, is that its extremely hard to feel emotions in my heart.
LifeisMagic 2 months ago

I contacted Elaine about 3 years ago hoping she might be able to recommend a homeopath near where I live because I no longer feel well enough to travel. She was not able to but offered to help me via email. After careful consideration I decided not to take her up on her offer as I do not like to write and I believe a face to face consultation with a homeopath is best for me.

The reason I contacted Elaine is I had had a few discussions with her several years earlier on another homeopathy discussion forum and I liked her approach to homeopathic treatment. Over the years I have worked with a few homeopaths but none of them have been able to help me. In fact the first homeopath I consulted who started me on high potency remedies left me far worse off then before I started the treatment. For this reason I am very cautious when it comes to homeopathy.

For some reason I have not given up on homeopathy but one day I may. I am currently working with a homeopath I worked with before but so far I have not experienced any positive results.

I figure it can't hurt to contact Elaine to see if she might be a good fit but if not there must be other options for you.

All the best.

JS123 2 months ago

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