Extreme social anxiety, avoidance of everything

1. Age: 47
2. Sex: Female
3. Build: Medium
4. Complexion: Fair, some freckles
5. Occupation: Hermit
6. Married
7. USA
8. Lifelong social anxiety, shyness, lack of confidence with people. Cannot make conversation or sustain eye contact, come across as odd, and the awareness of that exacerbates the anxiety. I avoid people whenever possible, I don’t answer the phone or the door and I don’t go out much. Actually I feel lonely and my #1 desire is to have some friends, but even when I was going out and trying to make friends it wasn’t happening so if the result is the same either way I’d rather save myself the rejection. I feel like I’m burning bridges whenever I speak to people because of the importance of first impressions; once they’ve decided I’m a weirdo I’ll never be able to change that impression. I need to get a job but I get nervous in interviews which is automatic failure.
I procrastinate about everything, my apartment is messy and everything on my to-do list gets put off. All of my energy goes into trying to create the illusion of comfort. The world seems very harsh, and I feel better temporarily if I can make it go away.
Also my sleep cycle has completely rotated, I go to sleep about 9 a.m. and wake up about 5 p.m. This makes me depressed because it cuts me off further from the world, but as I said, even when I go out into the world it doesn’t give me what I want from it, so what’s the difference.
Actually all of this has been better at times in the past when I’ve had some sort of social life. Having friends is very good for me, and isolation is very bad. But it feels like there is an insurmountable gulf to cross just to get to the base state that would support my mental health.

Here are some physical conditions I have:
Candida, with leucorrhea and white fuzz on my tongue, which causes fatigue, brain fog, headaches and irritability. I’m trying to manage it with diet and have had some success but when I feel helpless it reduces my immunity and I get a flare-up.

Cold sores on my mouth. Worse in cold weather, usually appear right before my period. I was free of them for over a year but recently started having them again.

Long covid, which probably contributed to the above symptoms through the exhaustion of my immune system. For over a year I’ve felt feverish and tired like I’m coming down with something every few weeks. My muscles ache and I get a coating of sticky phlegm in my lungs that I have to cough up.

My menstrual cycle is only 21 days and my periods are very heavy, which leads to a feeling of exhaustion. I feel easy angered before and sad and tired during. I have iron deficiency which I’ve always suspected is related. Taking iron supplements helps a little.

Dry skin, especially around my mouth. Worse in cold weather.

Feet feel hot at night and I have to put ice on them.

My temperature runs low, I’ve recorded it at 95 degrees many times.

9. Mind: Desire of company but fear of people. Sense of despair, anger at myself for not being able to change my personality at will. Disappointment and frustration at the world for not having a place for me. Mostly just a feeling of helplessness.

10. Thermal: Before the covid I preferred cool weather but now I always feel like I have chills. I can’t really tolerate extreme temperatures in either direction. I like it on the cool side of mild.

11. (answered above)

12. Stool: Once a day, about an hour after waking.

13. Urination: Frequent

14. (answered above.)

15. Sweat: Hardly any, not even the normal amount.

16. Sleep: Not bad but just at the wrong time of day and very resistant to change. I usually don’t remember my dreams.

17. Appetite: I eat less than normal but mostly because it is usually inconvenient.

18. Thirst: Not really sure what’s normal. I don’t think it’s high though.

19. Cravings: Coffee with cream, sometimes meat when my iron is low, cheese, citrus, garlic, ginger, peppermint, coconut, vinegar.

20. Aversions: Too many to list, I’m a picky eater. I can’t stand beans or processed cheese.

21. Intolerant foods: Sugar, because it leads to yeast problems.

22. Sex life: It’s complicated and personal. Will send answers privately if it’s important.

23. (I don’t think so)

24. Skin: Dry and sometimes itchy, cold sores.

25. Medications: None

26. Hypersensitive to everything in general. Probably autistic. Very shy and introverted.