My Derealization And Lyme Diseasehi i have been dealing with DR/DP and lyme disease for 10 years. Here is my story!
When i was around 7 or 8 i would wake up only after an hour or so from sleeping and i would walk around my house(sleep walking). But i wasnt completley asleep. I was half sleeping and half up. Also, half dreaming and half up. I was stuck in a world inbetween and it was very frightening. My mom and dad would awake to find me walking around with a blank expression on my face and as i started comming to i would pace around and have alot of anxiety knowing that i was awake but then slipping back into my dream state... I remember it was very scary but after awhile i would just snap out of it compleltey and be totally awake. My dad asked me what he should say to help me snap out of next time this happenend. I told him i dont know i guess say morning time. so the next time it happened he said it and i snapped out of it. That just shows u how powerful the brain is. Well anyway, That problem slowly vanished as i got older. Then one day in hs i was a soph. i left class and went to my locker and i out of nowhere felt foggy. It felt like i was drinking..like the onset of a buzz ..but not a good feeling. Then when i left school it dissapeared. This kept happening everyday more twards the afternoon. This foggy feeling..but it would always go away later in the night. Then it would start to last longer and longer. Then when i was 15 i smoked mj. It wasnt the first time i ever smoked, prb. like the 4th or 5th. The first couple of times i never really felt anything. The 4th time i was drinking and then i took a hit and it just made me feel like i was floating a little.(first high) It was a good feeling. So around the 5th time i smoked i had a horrible experience. I felt like i was half dreaming and half awake(kind of like when i was 7 or 8) i remember sitting at a table with my friends after we smoked and BAM it just hit me. I completley left the world. I felt numb all over and everything i did had a delay. I could not feel anything. My whold existence vanished. i would put my hand on the table and i couldent feel it there. As i pulled my hand away i would feel it on the table. It was as if my whole sensory system had a 3 sec. delay. My brain was literally processing so slow. When i walked i would feel things i touched and stuff 3 sec after i did it. It is still very hard to explain. My thoughts also had a delay and were completley mangled. I would think of something and by the time i would try to say it i would forget it. so something else woudl come to my mind then i would forget that and so on. I was having an extreme panic attack also. I was pacing aroound trying to WAKE UP. Stuck in a dream world but i new i wasnt dreaming. My friends were all high so they just laughed at me. After min of me goin crzy my one friend new it was serious and tried to help me. I couldent really talk and i was moving my arms all around. The sick part is i thought of what i must look like to the others. I was outside of myself though trying to get back in. It was as if i died. It was by far the worst feeling i ever had in my life and i thought i was goin to die or was dead and in hell.
Well after that episode my life has never ever been the same. I woke up the next morning and was still feeling very very odd. I was gettting dr/dp. My whole world changed. Months after still not feeling right I went from doctor to doctor. After several doctors and To my surprise i was diagnosed with LYME DISEASE. What happenend was i first got lyme disease when i was 13 but didnt recieve an adaquate dose of antibiotics to kill it. The disease grew more and more going into my brain. I believe that the whole bizarre incident with the mj brought up an tramatic episode of when i was having the sleep walking thing when i was a child. The whole episode was so traumatic though that it must have brought the lyme out of my system. Months before i smoked i was allready getting small feelings of dr but did not know what it was. i think smoking the mj brought out my lyme disease full blown.
Lyme disease symptoms also include dr/dp. But they dont ever classify it as derealization. I never heard of it untill recently. Symptoms from lyme included feeling foggy..I felt that but nothing matched the description of what i felt like dr. this was my worst symtom and always has been.
So i have been through alot with my disease including huge courses of iv antibiotics. I got better but always feel a little foggy even when im in remission. Ive had several relapses and was even enrolled in a lyme study at nyc colombia universtity. I got into that study out of thousands of others with lyme disease because my history was so bad with it.
well the reason im here is i still experience dr. almost everyday i still feel foggy. I have a scale for my dr. normally it is around 3..When my anxiety is up my dr goes up big time. I find it worse when i go out to malls or supermarkets. Places with very bright lights and lots of people. I find it least when watching a movie.if it is a 10 that is when i go completley numb like when i smoked the weed but without the delay feeling. This only happened a couple of times. When it goes code red though i feel as if i completley lose touch of all reality. Well I def. cope with it very well. people dont even know i have it. Ive learned to live with it but i wish i could just be completley clear. I want to help people on these forums and i hope people can help me. WE need to be here for eachother. The world is real..we are real...it is just a feeling ..we have to learn to over come it..
I have also been on a ssri for years now. Im currently on lexapro 20 mg. i tried zoloft, and celexa. I take alot of vitamins..(around 30 aday) i go to alternative medicing theropies and get vitamin c drips. And when needed i take valiums.
So i am extremely happy i found this sight because for 10 years i didnt even know the name of what my worst symptom was. i would always tell eveyone that i feel LOST. or spaced out..always saying that things just dont feel real ..like im living in a dream. I never knew i was experiencing derealization.
danneeeboy777 on 2006-12-23
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